Hate So Good: A High School Bully Romance (The Hate Series Book 2)

by Nina Lincoln

  “Are you okay?” I whispered, brushing his hair back from his forehead.

  Smirking, he palmed my ass cheeks and said, “Never better.”

  Giggling, I slapped his chest. “I’m serious. Is there...something wrong?”

  Frowning, he hugged me to him and said, “No, Finn, why would you think that?”

  “I don’t know, I just...you seem distant.”

  A pained expression passed over his face so quickly, I almost missed it before he smiled wide. “Princess, I’m in the best fucking place of my life. I love you. You’re safe…”

  My mouth tilted into a smile at his vehemence, and I snuggled against him, whispering, “I love you, too.”

  Kissing my forehead, he hummed softly and said, “You know I’d do anything for you, right?”

  Searching his eyes, I nodded slowly, taken aback by his abrupt change in mood. Where before he was playful, now he was grim and broody.

  “I do now,” I said sassily, brushing my breast against his chest, pleased when his eyes lit with fire, but there was a seed of worry I couldn’t erase as he turned me over and peppered kisses down my back.

  What did he mean?

  Pulling from my reverie, I drive into the lot, faced with something I’m not sure I can get past.

  Colt’s truck is parked where Hayden parked not too long ago, beside a costly Lexus, with fancy rims and tinted windows. Staring at his vehicle, I’m forced to realize that he is hiding something from me and apparently someone.

  Numbly I stare at those two cars, for how long I don’t know when my phone chimes and I jump out of my skin. Picking the phone up with trembling fingers, I find a text from Colt and laugh with disbelief and a tinge of hysteria.

  I miss you, Princess

  Dropping the phone, I exit the vehicle on shaky limbs and follow the path Hayden led me down the other day. Whatever is happening, I have to know because I refuse to believe the worst, and I know I’ll have to see it with my own two eyes to even consider walking away.

  This is my weakness, and still, I pray, please let this be something I can overcome.

  When I see the light ahead of me, signaling the break in the trees, I slow, creeping toward the train car quietly. Crime scene tape flaps macabrely in the breeze, reminding me this is not just the scene of what could be the worst moment of my life but also the last resting place for poor Sarah.

  Stopping at the clearing edge, I hide behind a tree and stare at the last two people I thought I would see.

  Colt faces his stepmother, who’s standing in front of him, barring my ability to see her expression, but I can see him, and he’s grim, his brows lowered over his eyes.

  She raises her hand and places it on his chest, and my heart stops, literally. This isn’t the move of a woman defending herself. It’s not even a good-natured pat between family, no...this is a fucking caress.

  What the actual fuck?

  “You’ve been avoiding me for months now. Need I remind you of our deal?” she says in a silky tone.

  Colt grabs her hand harshly, stepping back with a snarl, “Don’t touch me. Don’t ever fucking touch me. I told you I’m done.”

  “You’re done when I say, Colt. And I’m not done,” she insists, grabbing his dick through his pants.

  Covering my mouth when I gasp, I step back into the trees, reeling under the story unfolding before me. Was Colt fucking his stepmother?

  “Fuck off!” he exclaims, stumbling away from her.

  “Are you willing to watch your mother lose everything? And for what? Love?” she sneers.

  Tiredly, he rubs his hands over his face and mutters, “I’m not responsible for my mom.”

  “But she’ll have nothing, Colt. Not even your dad!”

  “Yeah, well, if he’s that much of a coward, I guess it is what it is. I’m done. No more. You’re a sick bitch!”

  “That’s not what you were saying when I was sucking your dick. I think it was something along the lines of don’t stop,” she snaps.

  Moaning, I step back right into a hard chest standing behind me.

  Colt’s eyes fly to mine, pain and regret passing over his features before his dad steps around me and demands, “What’s going on here?”

  Ignoring his dad, Colt takes one step toward me, my name on his lips, but I run. I run from him, the sick situation, and the lies I’m tired of hearing, and when I get to my car, I don’t stop but fly out of the parking lot with no destination in mind.

  My heart feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest, and I cry, although I can’t feel the moisture. No, I can’t feel anything but the hole in my heart.

  *****

  Aimlessly I drive until I end up at the lake, where Colt and I shared intimate moments and came back together after our first break, and although the memories assail me, I push them back bitterly, unable to face the specter right now.

  Intellectually, I know what Colt did was under duress and essentially abuse at the hands of his stepmother. I’m not upset about the act so much as being disturbed that she said he liked it…cue jealousy.

  No, it’s just - how many more lies are there? How much more can I take?

  Every time I turn a corner, I’m barraged, and I’m weary. From my dad's cruelty in taking Mom's life to the rich bitch accusations I received the moment I stepped foot on campus, my stalker, Colt’s cruelty - it has to end somewhere, right? I’m not sure my poor heart can take anymore.

  Besides, I don’t think I will ever get the sight of her hand caressing his chest out of my head again, even if he looked repulsed and heartbreakingly vulnerable. I guess I now know why he hates rich bitches.

  How very sad.

  My thoughts circle round and round with no answers, and I only emerge from my cloud of misery when the sun sets and shadows appear on the horizon. Apparently, it’s going to rain. Go figure.

  Trudging back to my car grimly, I slow to a stop when I spy Colt leaning against the hood with a blank expression, and my pulse stutters painfully before racing through my veins.

  I’m not ready for this conversation, but I probably never will be.

  Stepping forward hesitantly, I stand before him at a loss as to what to say.

  Sorry?

  It sounds so lame, and for the first time, I realize I’ve only been thinking about myself. This must be incredibly painful for Colt.

  “Hey,” I whisper, dropping my gaze to my feet because it’s physically painful to see the starkness behind his eyes.

  “Hey,” he says gruffly.

  “So, this is why you hate rich bitches,” I whisper painfully.

  Sighing, he stands from the car and runs his hands through his hair. “I wish you had never seen that.”

  “Why?” I ask painfully, hurt he would still want to keep his most important truths from me.

  He snorts and turns away, “I know you’re disgusted, hell I’m disgusted, but fuck Finn…”

  Bewildered, I stare at his back before saying softly, “I’m not disgusted.”

  “Really?” he says, swinging back, “Because you could have fooled me.”

  “Colt, I was confused. You lied. Again. And she touched you…”

  Swallowing down bile, I drop my gaze, “I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry...she…”

  “She what? Fuck,” he growls.

  Sadly, I watch him pace away, and when he remains quiet, his mouth pulled back in a snarl, I say quietly, “Whatever it is, Colt, I don’t care. I love you.”

  And I do, regardless of the circumstances, because I know he had to make tough choices the same as I, and if this is what he chose to do to survive, how can I judge him for it?

  He pins me with his beautiful eyes, and my heart clenches at the pain I see there.

  “Maybe. Maybe not. You see Finn,” he says bitterly, “the minute she laid eyes on me, she wanted me.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Sixteen.”

  For a moment, I can’t process his words. I’m completely dumbfounded un
til they penetrate, and rage surges through me.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  Lowering his head, he says quietly, “She threatened me.”

  “And you slept with her?”

  Nodding his head, he covers his grimace and says, “Yes. I thought it would only be once, you know, but she kept coming back. She threatened to tell my mom, well, that and cut Dad off. Mom needs him, Finn. Beyond that, he does support her with what he can. She’d lose the bookstore...everything.”

  Staring into his eyes, I see the vulnerability there. He needs me to be okay with this. I am shocked, and I need time to process it, to get over the jealous rage and bile swirling in my belly, but this doesn’t affect how I feel about Colt.

  Standing carefully, I step into his arms, and he stiffens, breathing deeply, before hugging me to him with trembling limbs.

  Poor Colt.

  We stand like that for a moment while I hide the tears brimming in my eyes, love flooding through me so fiercely it takes my breath away.

  “What happened after I left?” I ask softly.

  “I knew she wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t stop, so I made sure he would be there. I don’t know what’s going to happen now. But I’m done. Finn...I haven’t touched her since you. I couldn’t…”

  “Oh, Colt,” I whisper, hugging him tightly to me.

  “And you’re wrong,” he whispers in my ear, holding me so close, it’s hard to breathe.

  “Hmm?”

  “I didn’t hate you because you’re rich, Finn. I didn’t hate you at all. I just knew...I’ll never be good enough for you.”

  “How can you say that,” I say, leaning back to look into his beautiful pale eyes filled with revulsion and sorrow. “You’re everything to me.”

  He covers my mouth with his and sweeps me up, laying me out over the hood of the car, and we proceed to make sweet, beautiful love under the stars, with the rain bathing our bodies gently, washing away the sins of our past as we come together new.

  We’re bent but not broken.

  Chapter Twelve

  Stopping beside the bus, I drop my bag and glance behind me at the long line of students. Although I’m dreading the memories that have surged since the notion of a camping trip came up, I’m looking forward to this time with Colt.

  It’s been a long journey fraught with things most teenagers don’t have to worry about, and now that we’re out the other side, we can finally enjoy being together. All this without fear, and I’m so relieved. We’re finally free, and I can’t wait to relax with him. Well, as much as one can relax while camping. Ugh.

  I got another letter from my dad yesterday, and I was proud to throw the damn thing away without looking at it. It’s progress for me. Years of being pushed and pulled into the person he wanted me to be, are hard to break, but with every day he’s behind bars, another piece of me reforms.

  It’s not the old me, but something new and different, and I’m excited to have the peace I’ve craved for so long.

  Maggie helped me order my cap and gown this week. It was bittersweet to do it without my mom, but I know I will always miss these milestones with her, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She’ll always be a part of me.

  Our group of friends has made the final arrangements for a trip to the beach, this is apparently a longstanding tradition I’m excited to be a part of, and I’m counting down the days.

  This camping trip, although dreaded, is the culmination of our high school careers. It’s almost over, and we’re practically free. I don’t regret meeting Colt, but I can’t say I’ve enjoyed my time here, which is why being done is so exciting.

  Colt and I can create new memories without the specter of my fan in the way, thoughts of which make me all dreamy. Since his revelation, we’ve been inseparable, our need outweighing our good sense at times.

  No matter, I crave every moment with him, and even now, he has the power to make me need, and he’s not even here.

  Squirming under the delicious thoughts of him, I can only hope he’s able to sneak into my tent, as he promised. This would go a long way to making this damn trip bearable.

  As if I drummed him up with my thoughts, he appears before me with a low rumble and wraps his arms around me snugly. I crave these moments with him and can’t get enough. I feel so safe in his arms as though it’s us against the world.

  And maybe it is. It certainly has felt like that in the past.

  My heart melts, my mouth stretching into a bright smile when he looks at me softly and gives me a gentle kiss on the nose. He knows this trip is a struggle for me, and with just a look, he’s telling me he’s here for me through it all.

  “Hey, Princess,” he murmurs, brushing a strand of hair back from my face.

  “Hey, Baby,” I breathe, giggling when he tightens his hold in pleasure, which falls to a low moan when I feel his erection against my stomach.

  His eyes heat, flashing with desire, and his mouth hovers over mine, descending for a yummy kiss when we’re interrupted.

  “Hey dicks,” Hayden says, dropping his bag before mine on the ground and effectively ruining our moment.

  Although I’m still processing everyone’s part in the games the boys played, I know Hayden’s heart wasn’t truly in it, evident by his actions in trying to push Colt and me together. Besides, if I can forgive Colt, I have to forgive him too. Nate, not so much.

  With a shiver, I turn my thoughts away from his blue eyes, turned on me with greed and malice. I’ll never forget the way he looked at me as they led him away in cuffs, like a lost puppy but with blood staining his fingers. I just hope I don’t have to see him again for a very long time. Although I know at some point, I’ll have to testify against him—story of my life.

  Colt grimaces and looks to the sky with chagrin, and I pinch his yummy ass, smiling in delight when he picks me up and growls.

  “You guys aren't going to do this the whole trip, are you?” Hayden says with a scowl.

  Colt just grins lazily, running his finger down my cheek.

  Scoffing, he turns away, searching out a new ho, no doubt. I wish it could be Ramie, not as his ho, of course, but I think there’s a spark there they’re either ignoring or oblivious to.

  She’s in line at Northside High, no doubt, readying for the trip the same as us. We’ll meet up with them when we arrive. Melissa, Ramie, Dirk, George, and even Teddy should be there, and I’m excited to create new, normal memories with my friends.

  I haven’t had a chance to tell Teddy how much I appreciate his help with everything. He saved my life, and I owe him besides, he’s the best friend I could ever have, and I cherish our friendship.

  “I’m looking forward to snuggling up with my best girl,” Colt breathes in my ear, and with a shiver, I meet his mouth as he gives me a kiss that curls my toes.

  “Mm,” he murmurs when we break away, peppering my face with kisses. Giggling, I hug him close, content to sway in his strong arms.

  All of this is so new that it’s hard not to marvel at it. Colt’s entire demeanor has changed, his icy expression gone, replaced by one of adoration and need. We no longer have to hide, and the specter of more truths coming out is long gone.

  I can see by the way he looks at me that he’s free from the secrets he was hiding and the shame he couldn’t see past, and I’ve never been more grateful that I found him that day in the woods.

  We both needed to be pushed to reveal ourselves, and now that we have, we’re no longer bound by the specter of our past.

  Finally, we’re allowed to board the bus after waiting an hour for the faculty to get their shit together, and Hayden follows behind us as we find seats in the back. The school district splurged on nice rigs with fabric seats and reclining chairs. Hell yeah, no torn-up plastic and the sour smell of sweaty teenagers for us.

  I slide next to the window, Colt sitting beside me, as Hayden takes the seats across from us with a chick I’ve never seen before.

  She must be a senior, this trip is reserved
for those lucky enough to be graduating this year, but up until now, she’s been in the shadows, or at least my shadows. She’s tall, thin with pretty dark hair, bright blue eyes, and a cruel smirk.

  Sighing, I look away, wishing Hayden would find a girl who might actually stick, but I guess that’s the point. Hayden doesn’t want to be tied down. Too bad. Ramie would be perfect for him if he’d just pull his head out of his ass.

  Usually, his bitches stay out of the way, but eyeing this one, I sense she could be trouble, especially when she runs her gaze over Colt’s physique with naked admiration.

  Ignoring the tingle of jealousy, I turn my gaze to my guy, who’s not so much as glanced at this new girl.

  The bus lurches into motion, and our principal wanders toward the back, giving us the evil eye, before moving into his seat at the front.

  As soon as he’s gone, Hayden pulls out a flask, and we share it down the line. It’s another fine demonstration of cheap ass whiskey, but it’ll make the ride bearable.

  We’ve got a six-hour drive ahead of us, which means we will be well and truly in the middle of nowhere. With a shiver, I give a brief thought to be thankful my fan is long gone, and then refuse to go any further with those thoughts.

  This trip is meant to be fun, and I don't want to brood on Nate and his treacherous plans for me, now shattered at his feet. I hope he enjoys jail, dick.

  Everyone chatters and laughs around us, the din rising to a crescendo. We’re practically dizzy at the thought of five days of no school rooms and homework because although we’re still a few weeks from graduation, this is our last hurrah before we move on, graduate, and enter the world as adults. It’s a lovely thought. Too bad I didn’t apply to college.

  “Yo, check this out,” Hayden says, and Colt rumbles a reply next to me.

  The chick with the big um eyes joins in laughing breathily. You’d think I’d be past jealousy after everything we’ve been through, but where Colt’s concerned, it’s hard not to be. Women flock to him like flies to shit, which means a lot of women, and I’m still leery after the games Colt pulled. I guess some things truly do take time.

  Eventually, the booze makes me sleepy, and I fade off, waking only to pee and eat our boxed lunch. We’ve stopped at a convenience store in the middle of nowhere, and I’m quite sure the kid behind the cash register is straight out of Deliverance.