Hate So Good: A High School Bully Romance (The Hate Series Book 2)
Page 27
Apparently, Teddy’s assertions about Sarah were also true. Teddy reeled her in after she came to Northside High, and soon, she was creating mayhem wherever she went, including revealing Colt’s family secrets when she felt her tenuous grasp on him slipping away.
When I came along, and she saw Colt’s interest in me, she convinced Teddy to play the game. Their sole intent was to scare the shit out of me and terrorize me for the fun of it, but somewhere along the way, Teddy’s game morphed into a sick obsession that turned him from a diabolical little shit with no moral compass into a raving fucking lunatic. Lucky me.
When Sarah realized Teddy didn't plan to let me go, she lost her shit, and as a result, Teddy lost his. And when he realized we were getting too close to the truth and I was isolating myself more and more to the point where he couldn't get to me, he set Nate up to take the fall, hoping I’d be on that fucking camping trip. I knew I should've skipped out. I hate fucking camping!
Poor Nate has since been released, and I can see from his pale, quiet demeanor that something about all of this broke him too. How could it not? Someone they all knew and went to school with murdered multiple people without remorse—sick shit.
We’re two weeks away from graduation, and I’m looking forward to whatever comes after with Colt by my side.
Now that this is over, our need to be together is feral, and we refuse to be apart. Maybe Maggie senses it, and that’s why she hasn’t put up a fight, or perhaps she’s given up since I’m eighteen. Either way, I’m grateful.
Colt hasn’t mentioned his stepmother, but I know from something Celia said offhandedly that his dad is pursuing a divorce - major shit, considering he stayed married to her for years. Either way, I’m glad Colt is on the other side, and I can see in his demeanor that slowly he leaves those pieces of his past behind as we share our love for each other.
Today we’re going to see my mom. I want Colt to be there because he’s just as important to me as she is, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. The last time I was there, Ben attacked me, and the memories create a knee jerk reaction I can’t erase.
Ben’s dead, left in that cabin Ramie escaped from, and although I don’t know the particulars, apparently Ramie took matters into her own hands and defended herself to the death - literally.
Even knowing he’s gone, I can’t stop the unease, but I can’t put my life on hold, and I can only hope with time, the fear that comes out of nowhere and takes my breath away will fade.
So, on a sunny June morning, we stop before her grave, and I stare at her small plot, the familiar ache of loss clenching my chest, but this time, Colt’s here, and he squeezes my hand.
With joy in my heart, I say softly, “Hey, Mom. This is Colt.”
If he’s surprised by my conversation with an inanimate object, he doesn’t show it, and we settle beside her in the grass.
The day is both beautiful and poignant. While she will always be a part of me, in some ways, it feels as though I am letting go of the past. Now I can embrace my future, and if the light feeling bouncing around in my chest is anything to go by, it feels perfect.
After spending hours with her, Colt takes me home, and we make love, desperate to come together. It’s beautiful and sweet, tender, and amazing, and I cry when he holds me after, so very grateful to be here with him.
We made it through, not just from Teddy and his evil intentions, but Colt’s past and his fears about not being good enough, not to mention my own battle with being exactly what everyone wanted me to be, at the risk of physical punishment.
We’re still here, and this gives me hope for our future, for I can’t imagine him not being in it.
Epilogue
It's the week before we graduate, and as per North and Southside tradition, we’re gathered at the beach for a weekend of debauchery.
“Hey, Baby,” Colt says, wrapping me up in his arms from behind.
He’s healing well but has a nasty scar to show for it and assures me with a wicked grin that it makes him look badass, even so, I see the way he sometimes becomes pensive and brooding. We’re all recovering from emotional wounds that have left scars far more profound than the physical ones.
After I took off into the woods, whoever shot Colt, which is still unknown, took off too and is probably the one who hit me over the head soon after. The guys trussed up Colt as best they could and headed for the road, but not before attempting to find me.
By the time they found a passing car, Colt had to be life-flighted to the nearest hospital. I think Colt regrets not being there for me, but I don’t because he’s alive.
“Hey,” I breathe, hugging his arms to me.
We came so close to losing each other, it’s made me clingy and needy, but thankfully, Colt likes it.
We haven’t spoken about the ugly things Teddy said because it doesn’t matter. I love Colt for who he is now, and maybe he had to be the person he was before to learn how to be the one who cherishes me.
Turning me in his arms, he searches my eyes before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead and smiling into his striking eyes, I blurt, “Move in with me?”
Leaning back in surprise, he raises his brow, and I laugh. “I mean, let’s get an apartment together. I don’t want to be apart.”
His eyes light with liquid fire, and he raises me in his arms, spinning me around.
“Hey, your shoulder,” I protest, but he ignores me, pulling me into a sensual kiss.
“Alright, break it up,” Hayden calls out, and we pull away with a grin, Colt looking to the sky while I giggle.
“Fuck off, dick,” he says with a sly smile and Hayden chuffs behind us.
“C’mon, let’s set up the net,” Hayden says, and Colt pulls away to give him a long-suffering sigh.
Even Hayden is different since the incident, where before he was a dick with a perpetual smirk, now he’s brooding much of the time. Although he’s still a fucking ho.
Dirk’s along on the trip with his customary smirk firmly in place, but I see the way he looks off into the distance with a dark expression, dreaming of his escape, perhaps?
George skipped out on the beach trip, to my dismay, and with a last-minute college football scholarship on offer, he’s away touring the school. I’m happy for him because I know although this is a roadblock to his ultimate goal of pro ball, it's also a stepping stone in that direction.
Most surprisingly, Nate asked to come along, and I’m grateful for Colt’s patience with him. He most of all has scars that float just beneath his charming veneer, horrors he must struggle with daily.
Hayden walks away with a huff, and Colt turns back to me with a wicked grin before pulling me into another sensual kiss, and with a sigh, I open to him eagerly.
We’re all lucky to be alive and standing here with my friends, I know I’ll never take the love and friendship offered me for granted again.
Another car pulls into the lot, and Ramie emerges. She’s thinner than she ever was and has a grim look about her.
Since the hospital, I haven’t seen her, she’s been home healing, but I’m glad to see her now.
Stepping up to greet her, I smile sadly when she gives me a grotesque smile. She’s here, she’s trying, but the specter of killing her ex-boyfriend in self-defense, not to mention whatever he did to her, lays heavily beneath that smile.
But if I know anything, it’s that she’s a fighter, and she’ll find her way through this, though maybe as a different version of herself.
“I’m so glad you came…”
The End
Until Book 3 – Hate So Sweet coming soon!!
Did you love the book? Please leave a review - your thoughts mean a lot to me.
ALSO:
ALTHOUGH BULLY ROMANCE NOVELS ARE FUN TO READ, TRUE SCENARIOS WHERE YOU FEEL UNSAFE OR BULLIE ARE NOT ROMANTIC.
IN ALL THESE SCENARIOS, PLEASE KNOW THERE ARE RESOURCES FOR YOU, AND NO MATTER HOW IT MAY FEEL IN THOSE MOMENTS, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WILLING TO LISTEN.
Acknowledgments
As always, first and foremost, I need to thank my husband for sacrificing time to allow me to write, write, and write some more. It’s a labor of love in which he gladly allows me to shine, even if it means less quality time together. Love you, Sparky!
My thanks to my sister for helping me to edit my work - not an easy feat, but she did it, and she did it well.
Also, just a shout out to all those readers who read Hate So Bad and outreached me about their love for the book. This makes me so happy. Thank you so much!
Books by Nina Lincoln
High School Bully Romance(s):
The Hate Series:
Hate So Bad – Book One
Hate So Good – Book Two
Broken Revenge
Paranormal Romance:
The Holloway Witch Series:
Witch Unknown - Book One
Interested in a free short story? Sign up for my newsletter to receive the beginning of Ramie and Hayden’s story which will be continued in book three of The Hate Series.
www.NinaLincoln.com
Hate So Sweet – Coming Soon!
Prologue
My grandmother once told me I have the sight. A gift passed down through a long line of my ancestors- gypsies who traveled across Europe telling fortunes and swindling customers of their hard-earned pennies.
The gift is given to those with blood so thick only the strongest can carry it on. The first time I learned of this, at least from someone else, I was ten years old and thrilled by the prospect. Surely this made me special.
I had sensed the world around me in a different set of tones since I could remember, and while it became evident after a time, I was indeed different, it wasn’t until my grandmother confirmed it that I could say it out loud.
Different. The word tumbled around in my mouth like a sweet candy melting on my tongue until it turned sour.
Over those painful years of self-discovery, I recognized that difference in the razor-sharp tingles across my skin when something terrible was going to happen, in the itchy feeling at the base of my skull when someone walked over my grave, even in the pull of my blood that convinced me at the tender age of ten years old that I already knew my soulmate.
In all this, what my grandmother never said, but what was most important of all is that sometimes knowing what’s coming doesn’t change the outcome. It only makes the pain more acute when it’s barreling down on you, and you can only stare into its sights and hope you survive in the end.
Once upon a time, I thought I was special. But now I know I’m no more special than the next sad broken girl, only now I have the scars to show for it.
*****
Ramie
Pulling my old clunker of a car up to the beach, I turn the engine off and stare at the rolling waves. The deep blue color crosses the horizon in an endless swath of color that dazzles the eye. It’s almost impossible to believe there’s life somewhere past where only those who are brave enough will ever see.
For all its beauty, though its deadly, with waves of curdled seafoam, never-ending, pushing against the shore and fading into the sea over and over. It’s a brutal reminder that life goes on whether we want it to or not.
It also brings to mind images best left alone. Even so, I can’t stop the picture from forming. Once upon a time, I stared at the same visage in a picture, although flat and lifeless, an insult to the obvious power before me, for no artist can ever bring to life the mighty sea, pretending my life as I knew it hadn’t been changed forever.
Just as I did then, I clench my teeth against the pain that even now left a bitter taste of grief on my tongue at the wicked memories and resolve never to be vulnerable again. Exposing yourself only leads to one thing - pain. I should know. I’ve experienced my fair share.
With a sigh, I push thoughts of Hayden fucking Franks away and pull the mirror down, gazing at my reflection. I’ve lost weight, pounds that have transformed me from a curvy girl into a skeletal waif. There are dark circles beneath my green eyes, now cold and jaded from the wounds no amount of time can mend.
Although the last few weeks of rest have healed the wounds turned scars on my body, they couldn’t erase the other effects clear to see for those looking. I’m empty, my soul shriveled and cold. I may have survived, but I left vital pieces of who I am, or who I was at least, behind in the forest, where my darkness fought for supremacy and lost.
Beyond that, even the superficial appearance I clung to has been altered, another insult to add to my injuries. My once lustrous hair hangs in choppy waves around my shoulders, and I mourn the loss of what I considered my prettiest asset before turning my thoughts away.
In the weeks of seclusion, the soul-deep rage has faded to an ember that can spark and flare if I’m not careful, and if I allow myself to dwell, my efforts will all have been for nothing.
Because I’m stupid and vain, I couldn’t resist the effort to spice up my dull looks. Just yesterday, I bought a bottle of bleach and watched grimly as I bleached the ends of my dark hair for the first time in my life. After, I dyed the tips in various colors creating a rainbow that slides around my face when I move my head.
It’s pretty, but just another reminder of what was brutally taken from me, and even if it grows back, the reminder will remain in the marks upon my body that can never be erased.
What I can’t change, not with pretty colored dyes nor time, is the deadness behind my eyes. Where once a lovely soul stared back at me, now a cold, lifeless version does, and I fear the former me is gone.
How could she not be? When everything else about me has changed? For the best, that girl walked into a shit storm and couldn’t find her way free. She is weak, where I am strong. I will be strong.
Sliding a pair of pretty pink aviators over my eyes, the lenses a barrier to the world that I’ll cling to, at least for today, I grab my bag, and pull my aching body from the vehicle, heading grimly down the sand dune toward my friends.
It’s painful to see them in the distance, laughing and horsing around. From here, I don’t know who, but someone lifts a girl into their arms and swings her around, and she screams her delight into the air, her bare legs flailing behind her.
Suppressing a grimace, I try to envision letting a guy do that to me, and I come up empty. Not only have I lost whatever playful persona I may have had, but I don’t trust anyone to get that close to me.
None of them understand the real evil in the world, and I can’t suppress the tide of resentment it brings. They’re lucky, and I’m a painful mass of writhing ugly jealousy.
Stretching my bones, I wince cautiously, taking stock of the aches and pains, I’m not fully recovered, and I’m told they may never go away, particularly during the colder months when my ruined bones will remind me of the past I cannot escape.
I haven’t seen my friends since…since, and it’s with both dread and eagerness that I march toward them with a grim smile. I refuse to curl up and die even if it’s those thoughts I go to sleep with every night and wake to when the inevitable nightmares featuring his angry face loom over mine.
“Ramie!” Finn calls with a soft smile.
Once upon a time, I treated Finn like shit, an accomplice in Colt’s efforts to bully her so severely she’d leave our school and never look back, rather unsuccessfully, I might add.
By the time she rolled through our doors, senior year, my soul was already lost to the darkness, and although I wasn’t proud of my actions, I also didn’t stand up for what I knew to be right, not that I wouldn’t have been punished for my efforts if I had.
Further, her arrival brought a feeling of dread so painful I would take to my bed for days at a time and writhe in the misery of knowing something’s coming.
I’m not immune to these portendings of doom. After all, I knew Ben would be my destiny and that only after a showdown that ended in a splintering of our schools and a feud that lasted for ye
ars.
Finn was tougher than we gave her credit, though, and stayed the course. She’s also found it in her heart to forgive me despite my cruelty and even that of my brother, who’s currently locked away in a mental hospital after stalking and attempting to kill her.
I should have seen past the fear back then to the soul that shone beneath. Her arrival may have kicked off the inevitable end, but her story would be as interwoven and painful as mine, and if I had been a better person, the bitter taste of regret foul on my tongue would be that much easier to bear.
She’s also forgiven Colt, and they’re together. Despite his extreme cruelty, their love blazes between them like a red haze over the landscape for all to see - or at least for me to see.
I suppose their relationship is a message of hope, but I’m too fucking jaded to see it. There is no happily ever after for me, just this never-ending sense of nothingness I can’t let loose.
In Finn’s soft smile, I recognize a fellow survivor, we may have had different battles and overcome our own evils, but we both know with our shared look of loss what it does to your psyche.
Finn was lucky, though. Her injuries, for the most part, healed over time, while mine line my body like war wounds, and unfortunately, my instinct is to shy away from the specter of people seeing them, my shame, their knowledge, something I can’t battle but only accept as another piece of me torn away.
However, even with this, the warrior in me revels in knowing they mark me as a survivor, for there’s a savage lurking below the surface who will do whatever it takes to survive.
Colt turns with a friendly grin, and I marvel at the change to his countenance. Once upon a time, he was a broody cruel asshole who thrived on violence and mayhem, but Finn’s presence has tamed him, and the happy he exudes looks good on him.
Dropping my stuff in the sand at my feet, I look around uncomfortably, knowing I refuse to back down and give up, but it doesn’t mean facing everyone isn’t fraught with tension.