Shades of Hate (Jacky Leon Book 5)

by K. N. Banet

  “Feel free to hire another manager for Kick Shot you can delegate to. Dirk is learning on his toes how to be a head of security.” With that settled, I started asking the family to join me for another call to update them on tonight’s meeting with the BSA.

  “Yeah…should I get to work?”

  “Yeah,” I said, staring at my monitor. Before Oliver made it out of my office, I turned to him. “Hey.” He looked over his shoulder. “Thanks. We’re all in a bit of a trial-by-fire moment. Thanks for agreeing to step up and help me out. I really appreciate it.”

  He nodded, a blush taking over his pale, freckled face before he thought to duck and get out of my office before I asked for something else from him.

  “You really know how to blindside the people in your life,” Dirk pointed out.

  “Says the guy who knows how to sweep for surveillance and never mentioned it,” I retorted. “Look, I’m trying to…” I ran a hand over my hair as the call from Jabari began. I clicked answer before finishing what I was saying to Dirk, ignoring my eldest brother’s annoyed and stern face. “I’m trying to manage this, not just to protect myself but everyone here and in the family. That means if you’re here, work with me, and you know about werecats, it’s all fucking hands on deck.” I looked back at the monitor, not smiling as Jabari sat there alone. None of my other siblings bothered to join the call yet.

  “Hello, Jabari.”

  “How did it go?” he asked sternly, keeping it professional, waiting for a report from a good little soldier of the family.

  “I railroaded them into leaving without anything but our name and our desire for privacy,” I answered. “Well…there’s a little more than that. They know we’re werecats. They know we’re cousins of a sense to werewolves and about the full moon problems that entails. They had that from the video. Two plus two equals four, right? I just gave them something to call me, really. They know what I want—protections for our kind, privacy for most of our population, me being the exception. They know I am in charge of werecats in the United States. They didn’t believe that last part.”

  “They need to,” he said stiffly. “Do you have a plan for that?”

  “Yeah. I sent them to the werewolves. They were already planning to talk to them. They know I’ve had a lot of interaction with the werewolves. I sent Heath a message, passing along what needs to be the public story. Hopefully, everyone listens and gets the message in time that the BSA only knows about me. Not you, Hasan, Zuri…or anyone else.”

  “Good, that works. Father spoke to Callahan and Corissa. You impressed Corissa last year, and she heard his plea. It’s going to cost him some political power, but they’re willing to let us hide under the guise of being werewolves in a sense to the public. It’s tricky, but since you’re the only public werecat, I’m certain you can pull it off. You have Heath to help.” That last sentence felt like a condemnation.

  After working so fucking hard to be a part of this family, I’m back in the fucking doghouse.

  “Is anyone going to join the call?” I asked softly.

  “Father might,” he answered. He seemed uncomfortable with something.

  I waited a moment for more. It probably took me a whole two minutes to realize Jabari wasn’t going to continue.

  Father might?

  I took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. Is there anything else you want to talk about with me?”

  He leaned forward and lowered his chin onto his hands, propped up on his elbows, studying me as though I was something he needed to fix.

  “When is this going to stop?” he asked softly.

  “Dirk, can you step out?” I asked softly, turning away from Jabari’s intense stare. Dirk was gone without needing any sort of push, casting me a sympathetic glance, a look that told me he would be right outside the door. Once he disappeared from view, I heard no footsteps. He was really going to stick right there in case I needed him.

  Niko, you raised a damn good young man.

  I looked back at my monitor and sighed.

  “I tried,” I whispered. “I tried, Jabari. I’m doing my best right now and don’t need to be treated like a criminal. I haven’t disagreed with a single thing you or anyone else has said since this started, so please don’t ask me when this is going to stop. I tried. I kept my head down for months. I got my business running again and focused on that. I’ll remind you that my business was burned down because your old enemies thought I would be the easy target, the example they could make. And what was it I did that started all this? I protected a little girl. Then I helped you in Washington. Russia is the only time I ever did anything that truly went against what this family was about. The only time!” I snapped. “So, don’t you fucking ask me when this is going to end. Don’t you dare play this up like I’m the fucking problem child when all I’m trying to do is make everyone proud of me! To keep them safe!” I was out of my chair.

  “All I’ve ever tried to do is what I had to, so I could fucking sleep at night! And yeah, it started because I broke the Law and did everything in my power to save a child.” I shook my head and exhaled. “I can’t believe this.” I started to laugh as someone else joined the call. I didn’t look up to see who it was, sinking back into my chair and laughing until I cried. Then another person joined the call…and another.

  “Are you okay?” Mischa asked softly, visibly upset. “Do you need someone to talk to? I knew this was going to go wrong. I fucking told all of you.”

  “Give her a moment. I would never intentionally hurt Jacky. I didn’t mean for it to go this way. I told all of you she would be handling this,” Jabari growled. “And I don’t need to hear the ‘I told you so,’ Mischa. You know who needs to hear that.”

  And there’s the protective brother, back again. That’s the curse and magic of this family—too many big personalities.

  It was eight strong personalities, always going against each other, always snapping at each other, but also willing to kill for each other. I was one of them. I knew that. I hated Davor, but if he had been the one taken by Lani’s friends, I would have been with them, trying to get him back.

  Now, he saw me break, and Jabari knew to back off once that happened.

  “I’m fine,” I declared once I could breathe again. I looked up to see everyone on the call except Hasan. “Jabari, you give the update.”

  They all looked at each other, and Niko was the one who spoke up.

  “We were listening in,” he said softly. “Davor hid us from your view.”

  Oh. Oh, so they all heard that outburst.

  I was so distracted by that thought, by the embarrassment, I didn’t take much time to consider Niko’s tone.

  “I told you this wouldn’t shake Jacky enough to change her,” Jabari said, a small smile forming, but I didn’t know who he was talking to. “You wanted to see how she was taking this, but I told you, nothing rattles Jacky enough to stop her from getting the job done. You need to have a little more faith in her.”

  “That was a fucking test?” I asked, raising my eyebrows, furious at the implication. I glared at Jabari. “When I see you again, I’m going to gut you, old man. Do you hear me? I’m going to cut you open and spread your entrails all over the fucking room. That was cruel. I’m not here for family mind games. I have a bit of shit on my plate if you haven’t fucking noticed!” I was screaming again.

  Jabari lowered his head. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “Some of us were worried you were going to crumble under this sort of pressure, and I didn’t know another way to show you were still going strong. I wasn’t one of them, and I didn’t mean to push too hard.”

  Jabari just kept his head down, refusing to look up at me or anyone else. He wasn’t the only one. Davor was looking away as well, and he had been the one to hide everyone.

  How this happened was suddenly clear, or at least the source was. ‘Some of us’ was probably only one of them. Mischa, Jabari, and Hisao? They all knew I could handle situations under pressure. Niko was quiet,
and he wasn’t mean. He trusted me, or so it seemed on most days. Zuri wasn’t in contact with anyone.

  It could only be Davor.

  Did you get what you want, Davor? Have you embarrassed me enough to be happy yet? I can forgive all of them for being strong personalities because I’m the same way, but you are a monster, cruel piece of shit who can’t get over himself. I’m fucking done with you.

  I glared at the camera, hoping Davor realized I knew it was him.

  Thank the gods for Mischa, though, because the silence was unbearable. She finally spoke up, looking upset.

  “I’m not one of them. I know you can handle this. We’ve spent the last few days supporting you by handling some of the public relations issues. We reached out to all the werecats in your region to tell them you were exposed but handling the situation as quietly as possible. They’ve all wished you well and good luck. Some wanted to extend their encouragement behind your idea to keep them secret and you becoming the public face for werecats with the humans in America. You stepping up meant a great deal to them.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to them, but…” I shook my head. I didn’t talk to the werecats in my region often, but Everett proved they could and would call me when they needed me. Sometimes, I checked in with them, but I wasn’t friends with any of them, especially after Lani’s betrayal.

  “We started the moment the last call ended. It was Jabari who recovered the fastest and realized you would be too busy handling things in your territory to really do anything outside of it. Niko was the one who suggested we reach out in your stead. We’ve known all the werecats in your region longer than you have, so we have a relationship with them.”

  “Thank you,” I said softly, rubbing my face. “I’m tired, so—”

  It was that moment Hasan decided to get on, looking the tiniest bit flustered. He was still sitting down when his camera came on.

  “What do I need to know?” he asked. Before anyone could answer, he growled softly, and his face grew hard. “Something upset several of you. I can see it on your faces. I am tired of these little dramas. We have better things to do than fight with each other. You were all better behaved during the war. This is not the time to start crumbling internally and falling prey to infighting. Whoever needs to make an apology had better do it quickly, preferably when I’m not here. Am I clear, children?”

  Three of Hasan’s children were thousands of years old, but at that moment, we were all younger than him, which was all that mattered.

  If we’re going to fight like children, he’s going to treat us like children.

  In near-perfect unison, all six of us said the same thing.

  “Yes, Father.”

  “Now, tell me what I’ve missed,” he ordered.

  Everyone else filled him in on the important details, and when they were done, he nodded, looking down at a notepad on his desk.

  “I just spoke to the Tribunal as a whole. We need to convene if a species was outed, especially when it’s one of our own. While they were surprised this was happening out of my control, they weren’t particularly surprised it was happening in general. Every year, humans learn our tricks and grow better at identifying them.”

  “I told her Callahan and Corissa are on our side,” Jabari said quickly.

  “Yes, and that’s important. I spoke to the fae king and queen about how they handle these sorts of situations. Oisin, the fae king, says their policy is to leave people out in the cold. They know they’re not secret, but if they let a fae or two die every so often, it’s not their problem if a fae wasn’t smart enough to fool humans. They expect ‘better’ of their kind. We can’t do that, obviously. I wouldn’t do that to the worst of the werecats. The vampires obviously had no advice, but the witches were an interesting talk.”

  “It’s different for them. They are human, so many governments turn a blind eye, as long as the witches don’t involve themselves in something they shouldn’t, like human politics or wars. An ironic twist, considering humans used to burn anyone they thought was a witch. Some countries still do, but they’re growing rarer by the year and are places no supernatural wants to live. Chasing away supernaturals is bad policy, thanks to the economic boom of the werewolves and their long-term enterprises. That’s why many nations allow them to stay, even if it’s covered in thinly veiled disgust.” Jabari talking about long-term economics wasn’t something I’d expected out of today’s conversation.

  “I do believe they are trying to reconcile the evils they have to deal with,” Hisao said softly. “They have bigger beasts to hunt, and witches could be their allies one day in the future, sharing that humanity with them. We’ve been watching this unfold for decades.”

  “I wouldn’t put it past human governments to try to conscript witches into their service,” Hasan agreed. “But that’s not the point, and I believe we’re a long way from that becoming an issue. The witches had some advice. Johann thinks we continue to push for privacy from the public eye because it works for them. Witches, when their covens and schools are found, though it's rare, protect the privacy of lower members and students. That is for any country that isn’t hostile to witches without recourse, where the rules of secrecy are stricter. There’s only been a handful of cases, but that knowledge of how witches in the United States deal might help you bargain with them.”

  “This is all well and good, but what do we do if the people Jacky’s dealing with don’t cooperate with her demands for privacy and maintaining our secrecy?” Davor asked, his voice rougher than I had ever heard it.

  “We adjust as the need arises,” Hasan said simply. “I’m trying to reach Zuri and Subira again, just to talk this out with them. They’re off doing whatever it is they do.”

  Strangely, Hasan didn’t seem okay with that. I knew he loved his mate, and Zuri was the daughter the rest of us wanted to be, the most helpful and balanced of the entire family. Something was making him uncomfortable with the long-term visit Zuri was having with the mother I had never met.

  “When was the last time you saw Mother?” Mischa asked, smirking. “Or are you jealous of Zuri, too? Father—”

  “She visited me after Niko and I arrived home from the hospital during his recovery,” Hasan answered a little stiffly. I could see Niko’s face turning pink.

  “Oh!” Mischa started laughing. “Niko, was it your first time being there while they brought the fucking house down?”

  I sputtered, not needing to hear that. No wonder Hasan and Niko never mentioned her visits.

  That’s awkward as hell.

  No child, adult or not, wanted to hear their parents, supernatural or otherwise, having sex through the walls.

  Hasan recovered quickly. “Jacky, just continue with what you’re working on. Keep your head down, don’t draw attention to yourself. If I can, I’ll get Zuri in contact with you, even if we can’t make it a family call.”

  “I thought you said we couldn’t go looking for them.” Jabari narrowed his eyes.

  “I was hoping Zuri would check in again and see something happening. I don’t like dragging her away from her time with Subira.” Hasan, at that moment, was more of a father than a ruler. He was trying to honor the needs of one of his daughters and regretted having to put his foot down, had avoided it even.

  “Father, I’ll do my best if she’s unavailable. I promise.” I felt like a kid, hoping for her father’s attention, love, and pride.

  He sighed. “You always do your best, which is what scares me sometimes. You don’t know how to do something halfway, and subtlety, my lovely daughter, is lost on you more often than not. It’s okay, though. I’m behind you, ready to help every step of the way. We’re going to see you and the werecats through this.” Hasan and I stared at each other, unable to break eye contact. His next words surprised me. “She told me you were going to be a bigger change than I was expecting for this family, and that I underestimated how different you would be from your siblings.”

  “Zuri?” I looked u
p again, frowning.

  He shook his head, then disconnected. Everyone was silent for a moment, then quickly said goodbyes, hanging up as well.

  Dirk walked back in, and I looked over my shoulder at him.

  “Subira,” he answered. “Comments like that are always Subira.”

  15

  Chapter Fifteen

  I tried to get back to normal. The next day, Kick Shot opened, and I sat in my office, watching Heath and Dirk once again talk things out with different contractors. The next day was the same.

  And the next.

  And the next.

  By day six, I wanted to scream. No word. My life, and potentially the lives of werecats everywhere, was stuck in some sort of strange limbo. I didn’t even get to see Carey. We decided to tell her about the BSA finding out about me because it was safer if we didn’t see each other. She had deserved the explanation, but it left me in not only limbo but a boring, lonely hell.

  I sat at my desk, listening to the music below and the contractors wielding their chainsaws. For a driveway and a gate to go in, some trees had to be taken down. It wasn’t enough to distract me from the stuck feeling.

  I had Special Agent Collins’ card, but I didn’t call. If I made the first move, I was giving them power in the negotiations for no reason. They would know I was worried and scared and would use that against me. Every time I had the urge to pick up that card and call, I envisioned Zuri—ancient, patient, and deadly. She knew how to handle these situations. She was key in gathering allies during the War about eight hundred years ago and key in keeping me from politically destroying the family every time I walked out of my territory.

  So, I put the card away again and watched as people cut down my trees, waiting for any word or warning of what was coming next. Someone walking up the back steps made me turn away from the window. As the person drew closer, I heard someone else jogging up the back and down the hall, seemingly trying to catch up.

  Landon opened my office door without knocking. The door didn’t open the entire way, hitting a small pile of dirty laundry I was now keeping in my office.