Shades of Hate (Jacky Leon Book 5)

by K. N. Banet

  “Which makes it all the more important I make sure you know you can still trust me with anything. That I trust you and respect you.”

  “Really?” she snapped. “Trust? You’ve been lying to me!” She put her feet up on the dashboard. I knew that wasn’t going to play out well. Heath didn’t take his eyes off the road, just reached out without even glancing in her direction, grabbed one ankle, pulled the foot off the dash, and pushed it down back to where it was supposed to be. He didn’t have to do the second; she put that one down on her own.

  “Can we please be civil?” Heath asked desperately. “Be mad but be civil. I can take the anger, but that doesn’t mean you get to act out and break the rules.” At her huff, he growled, low and soft. “We’re not trying to invalidate your feelings. We’re trying to apologize.”

  Carey looked down. We spent the drive in complete silence. I was frustrated and hurt, but I knew she was justified to feel the way she did. Heath was right. We didn’t want to invalidate her feelings. We wanted to apologize and get to the root of them. Heath said this was pretty extreme, and he was right. It was one thing to be upset, but this was fury, something neither of us expected. Even when we had talked about telling her, we hadn’t expected this level of anger at us.

  Heath drove us not to something active but to the movies.

  “We can catch something early, and no one will have to talk to anyone. I’ll get the tickets,” he declared, parking. He got out, ignoring both of us, his frustration clearer than the sun. Carey grabbed my arm, a clear sign for me to stay where I was.

  “We can do something else. I just wanted to spend some time with you before work and—”

  “My entire life, there were women from the pack who wanted to be my friend to get to my dad,” she whispered. “They would help me with my homework and offer to babysit me. They would tell my brothers to go off and have fun, that they would watch me. They would be really nice to start, but then it always happened the same way. My dad wouldn’t give them the time of day, wouldn’t let them stay for dinner, told them no when they offered to join us on family trips, and there were a couple he threw out of the house. Finally, he asked me to tell him when any of the women were being too nice to me. He didn’t want to see me used by them to get to him. I didn’t think you would be one of them.”

  “Carey…” Oh, shit. “I’m not like that. I know you probably don’t believe me, but what I have with your dad doesn’t change what I have with you. It wasn’t even supposed to happen this way. I didn’t think your dad and I would get close, much less become friends.”

  She sighed, heavy and beyond her years. It was easy to forget Carey wasn’t a normal thirteen-year-old about to turn fourteen. This was the daughter of a werewolf Alpha who had lived for a couple hundred years, who had complicated brothers and a family that needed her to help protect it. This was the girl who ran away from home to get away from the pack coup, found her way to my bar like her dad had planned, and knew what to say, even though she was tired and terrified. Even though she didn’t know who I was.

  “I don’t think you are, either,” she admitted softly. “I think my dad used me to get to you or something. I think…” She threw her hands up. “I don’t even know who to be mad at. You both lied to me. You’ve been using me to be together. I want my dad happy, and I want you happy, but I’m mad. I’m mad because you didn’t tell me. It reminds me of those women who never told me they were nice to me because they wanted to get my dad. Because he’s the Alpha, he’s important, because they thought he would buy them nice things and give them something special or whatever.”

  “We didn’t use you. Feel free to be angry with us for lying to you, but neither of us intentionally used you to get to each other. We did a lot of traveling together. We nearly died a couple of times, and when everything got bad, he was the one person I knew could handle me leaning on him. But using you never crossed my mind or his.”

  “Really? I mean…I guess you did go to Russia together, and he helped save you from those bad werecats…and you helped him save me….and the vampires…” She trailed off and nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

  “Maybe you should tell your dad all of this, too, so he understands.”

  “He’s not easy to talk to, sometimes,” she mumbled. “And like, I knew something had to be going on. He’s seemed happier. And he goes to you for advice about me, which I don’t like, but it’s whatever. He’s a guy, and I’m a girl. I hear other girls get embarrassed by their dads, too. Apparently, that’s a normal thing. I was really happy you took me to the store and not him, and neither of you gave me ‘the talk’ about you know what.” She shrugged. “Maybe I just don’t like how you lied. Were you going to tell me before you got married, or was that going to be a surprise, too?”

  “We were going to tell you…eventually,” I said, unable to really answer. “I can tell you that your dad and I have never talked about marriage. Right now, we’re just trying to find a way to be together without getting in trouble.” I took off my seatbelt and sighed. “Ready to follow him? He probably has the tickets now.”

  “Yeah…” She undid her seatbelt next.

  I opened the door and stepped out, stretching my arms over my head, feeling much better about everything.

  I got out of the truck and felt the gunshot before I heard it. It sent me back into the door, and I purposefully threw myself back to fall into the truck. Carey started screaming as she grabbed my shirt. I knew I was bleeding, but I did my best to stay down and push her away.

  “Pretend I’m dead,” I fought to say through the pain. “Pretend I’m dead.” I looked down, knowing the windows were too dark for anyone to see inside. They hit me in the side. I tried to breathe and thanked my lucky stars that nothing sounded like it was in my lungs. It hit my abdomen in the side, which hopefully meant my lung was safe.

  Heath appeared at my feet, his face sheet white. In the background, tires squealing got his attention for a second.

  “Gone?” I asked softly. There was so much I needed to say. “Don’t tell my family. Get Carey home. Keep Dirk safe.”

  “They’re gone. Let’s get you to the hospital—”

  “I can help,” someone said, running up. I saw Collins come into view next to him. “I’ve been doing a stakeout on you but didn’t notice anyone else watching you until it was too late.” He was looking down at me, at the injury, but his words were clear and precise. He didn’t let the injury shock him.

  “That sounds incredibly suspicious, Daniel,” Heath snarled.

  “I got the license plate of the truck that just drove off, Heath,” Collins snapped back. “And I can get her airlifted.”

  Heath looked at me, and I nodded.

  “S-Silver,” I groaned, clutching my side. The burn was beginning to set in. A bad gut shot was fatal upward to twenty minutes if the bleeding wasn’t too bad. That meant the silver had time to settle into my bloodstream and cause problems.

  “Shit.” Heath pointed to the back of his truck. “There’s a first aid kit in the back. Get it, Daniel. Jacky, we don’t have time to send you to Mygi. I’m going to ask for them to take you to Dallas, okay? If you can make it, I want you at Dallas.”

  I tried to nod. Carey was crying over me.

  I’ve been here before. She’s seen me die before. I can’t…I can’t do this to her again.

  “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” Heath asked.

  I tried. I tried so hard. Collins was gone from my sight, and all I had to do was stare at Heath and his blue-grey eyes. That was all I had to do.

  I failed.

  23

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I woke up to beeping machines. I tried to sit up, but there were so many tubes, and my throat burned thanks to one. There were also straps on my wrists. I fought against them, trying to scream. The beeping grew faster, and people rushed into the room. They worked around me, and the world went black again.

  The second time I woke up, the situation was similar. />
  “You know you need to dose her more often!” Heath’s roar broke through everything. “Give her something that will actually put her out!”

  The third time, there was no tube in my throat, and I was able to gasp for breath. I tried to sit up, and this time, there were no straps. I tried to look around, but the world was hazy.

  What I did see was Heath, coming quickly to my bedside.

  “Can’t even keep you out for twenty-four hours,” he said, sighing heavily. “They got the bullet out, and you got fucking lucky. It could have punctured a lung or torn up your liver. As it stands, it caused internal and external bleeding, but your organs made it out, unscathed, mostly. Your liver was nicked. They also treated you for silver poisoning. It should nullify the effects and let you Change, so you can speed up the healing.”

  “No broken bones that need to be set?” I asked.

  “Nope,” he answered, snappy with me.

  “You seem mad,” I commented as I moved slowly, letting my legs fall over the side of the bed. “I’m sorry Carey was there to see it.”

  “She told me you ordered her to…pretend like you died.” He rushed to my side to help me up. “You Change, and I’ll explain why I’m angry.”

  “Okay,” I murmured. I undid the tie of the hospital gown and started pushing through the Change.

  “I’m mad because once they got you into surgery, someone called the pack to tell them I had come by with a woman. They violated your doctor-patient confidentiality, and I had to square off with my old pack. That’s not your fault. I told you I was bringing you here and should have expected the staff would rat me out. I didn’t expect them to rat you out.”

  I was nearly a werecat by the time he was done talking. With nothing out of place, the Change was just fucking painful, but Heath was right about the silver.

  I didn’t spend long in my werecat form, going back to my human form as he continued to talk.

  “Dirk, Landon, and Carey are at my house. Special Agent Collins was able to explain exactly what he was doing, and I’ll vouch for him. He wasn’t lying to me. He was following you to see if another attack would happen. He’d picked us up as we left Carey’s school. He stopped across the street from the movie theater, just to keep an eye on us. It wasn’t malicious or him trying to get your secrets. He was focused on making sure we wouldn’t be attacked, and if we were, hopefully catching the men who did it.”

  “Well, he failed,” I growled, my mouth still a little too inhuman to soften my words. I finished the Change and stretched before crumpling over in pain. “Stupid of me. Damn it. My insides hurt.”

  “Your liver wasn’t directly hit, but it was nicked, remember?” Heath helped me sit down. “And there’s the problem of having been shot. How can you forget about that?”

  “Sorry, it’s been a while,” I snapped, but I wasn’t angry at him. I was mad at me. As I sat back down on the edge of the bed, I knew I should take a week to properly heal, at least.

  I didn’t have a week. These guys wanted me dead.

  “I don’t care about the Dallas pack,” I said, feeling overwhelming sadness hit me. “I told Carey to pretend I was dead, so the guys didn’t come closer and try to take another shot. If I stopped moving and she kept screaming, they would leave. Collins showing up probably helped chase them off as well.”

  “Quick thinking.” He sat next to me and took my hand. “But it terrified me. I was waiting in the theater. When I got out of the truck, I knew you two were going to talk, and I didn’t want to interfere. She told me everything over the phone while I waited for you to get out of surgery. I saw you go down, then heard her scream, and I thought…” He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it so gently. “I thought you were dead, and she had to watch you die.”

  “It’s happened before,” I whispered. “Last time, she screamed as I hit the pavement. Apparently, that time I flatlined and that fae and his wife brought me back. They were able to stop the bleeding, pull the silver out, and save my life.”

  “That fae…” He brushed my hair out of my face. “Have you ever gone looking for him to thank him?”

  “I didn’t look particularly hard, no,” I answered. “Brin isn’t the discussion, though.”

  “Brin?” Heath frowned. “Is that his name?”

  I put a hand over his mouth. “Please, forget I said that. We have more important things to work on. I know I was shot, but we need to find these guys and put an end to their bullshit, so I can work with the BSA and resolve that situation. Hopefully, we’ll figure out who the leak is.” I dropped my hand. “Tell me what…Daniel said.” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, we used to be on a first-name basis, just to bug each other. I started it, and he fired back. He explained his partner, Miller, while he was tailing me, was working on finding out if there was any movement among the extremist groups the United States is tracking. I haven’t heard back yet, but hopefully, they find something.”

  “Miller used to be CIA. They don’t know I know that. I heard one of them mention it outside of Kick Shot.”

  “What do you think is your next move? At this point, I’ll back you up, no matter what. I’m not fond of watching you get shot.”

  “I’m going to work with those two,” I said, rubbing my hands together as I thought about it. “I’ll tell them everything. They helped me. I still think one of their superiors is the leak. Hell, maybe it’s Miller, but if I’m working with them, I can keep a close eye on them. I’ll keep Dirk with me—”

  “Landon and I aren’t going to let you do this alone, so go ahead and put us in your plans, please.” Heath’s face was unmoving and unreadable, but his scent told me how angry and scared he had been. He would fight to help me now, and I knew I needed the backup.

  “I wasn’t going to leave you out,” I promised. “They shot me in front of Carey. What if they had hit her?”

  “I’ve already thought about that,” he growled. “They need a reminder that supernaturals don’t care what they think. They’ll die if they hurt one of ours.”

  “Just what I was thinking. Let’s get me out of this damn hospital and back to Jacksonville. I don’t know how good I’m going to be in a fight, but maybe…maybe I can be the bait.”

  “Stupid but effective. I hate it, but I don’t really see us finding them another way unless someone gets back to us on who these humans might be.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m actually agreeing with this.”

  “Yeah, it happens sometimes. If we find another way, I’m more than willing to go for it, just as long as I get to talk to these people before anyone else. I want to know exactly who told them about me from their own lips. Can you help me make sure that happens?”

  “I’ll make sure, even if I have to tie those agents down for you to interrogate.”

  “Thank you.”

  He grabbed his bag from the recliner and dropped it on the bed.

  “A change of clothes. Keep the bandaging on, please. You still have a hole in you that’s trying to close.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said, smiling. Opening his bag, I found a comfortable pair of sweats and a t-shirt, nothing that could pinch or squeeze where I had been hit. “I can’t believe those guys took a shot at me with a rifle.”

  “They can’t be professionals,” Heath said, sighing as he shook his head. “Thugs who may have never killed someone before or just idiots that own rifles. This is Texas. There are a lot of hunters.”

  “They had…” I frowned, trying to think of the best way to describe the guns they used when they ran me off the road. “Assault rifles. Like you see in movies.”

  “You need an education on that, don’t you?” He chuckled. “Selective-fire rifles. If you don’t know the type they had, that’s fine. That doesn’t really narrow down what we’re looking for. Everyone and their grandmother own a needlessly powerful gun in this country.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t take you as someone who would find that a bad thing.” I raised an eyebrow.
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  “I come from the era of muskets and cannons. We couldn’t fire nearly 950 rounds in a minute. It took up to thirty seconds for us to reload our single shot. I find it excessive, that’s all. It’s not the people I don’t like but the weapons themselves.” He shrugged. “I don’t like nuclear weapons, either. Or tanks. Modern war is not my scope of practice, and I find the ability to kill thousands of people so quickly to be…cheap, almost inhumane, but you’ll never catch me saying that in front of anyone else. No human wants to hear a werewolf call them inhumane.”

  “Well, that’s all really interesting to know. Can we get out of here? I’m beginning to really hate hospitals. Sad, because I used to really want to work in them, but…waking up with a tube down my throat isn’t a pleasant experience. Intubation, not fun.”

  “No, I bet it’s not,” he agreed. He walked with me to the door, carrying the bag he brought. He held the door open for me and let me walk out first.

  I could smell Ranger before I saw him, turning to nod in his direction.

  “We’ll get out of your hair now,” I said, smiling pleasantly. “Have a nice day, Ranger.”

  “No explanation why you were shot and brought here?” He stood and crossed his arms.

  “Ask your Alpha. I’m sure he’s heard something about me recently that might shed light on this situation.”

  Ranger shifted uncomfortably. “That’s why I’m here. He hasn’t heard anything.”

  Heath stood behind me, and I could smell him but not his emotions. With another werewolf around, he had locked down his emotional scent.

  “Really?” Heath asked, and I could hear that confused frown. “They never brought him into the loop?”

  Ranger crossed his arms. “I can’t say anything about that.”

  “Then we won’t say anything about this,” I said, shrugging. “Hospitals are fair game, just like airports. I don’t know if it’s me or Heath pissing off your pack, but it has to stop. I don’t want to have to tell anyone important that the Dallas pack is giving me problems for passing through or using amenities I don’t have in my region. We’re going to leave now, Ranger. Tell your Alpha I’m tired of this conversation. This is the last time I’m going to have it without getting anyone else involved.”