Been There Done That

by Smartypants Romance

  That didn’t sit quite right with me.

  “So, my expectation that the people we pay hit the mark makes me, what? A tyrant?” I picked up a discarded ax from the nearby table and assumed the position behind the line.

  Eddie stood beside me, his own ax in hand. “Everyone’s committed to doing their jobs, man. You know that. The problem is that you have impossibly high expectations for yourself. Which then get passed on to everyone else. You’re always charging into the next thing, taking on the next challenge, jumping into the next project, then insisting we all fall in line to accommodate the almost impossible circumstances you drag us in. You’re inexhaustible. Yes, you’ve built this company into an industry leader. We’ve prospered beyond what I ever thought possible. But when is it enough? Would you even recognize when you’ve hit the limit?”

  He scrubbed a hand over his brow.

  I hurled the ax at the board. It clattered off, completely missing the target.

  Eddie and I switched places.

  He lifted the ax, then lowered it, looked over his shoulder at me.

  “I talked to Aunt Nan for a while.”

  Awww, shit.

  “Did you?”

  “Yeah, I did. Just wondered what connection you might have to this little dusty town in Tennessee, the way you just up and disappeared and pushed the team to pilot the app here.”

  “What did she tell you?”

  “What I wish you’d told me. About your growing up here. What happened with your mom. How you had to leave.”

  Thanks, Aunt Nan.

  I looked at him and found him watching me, frowning.

  “Why’d I have to hear all that from Nan? How is it that, in all the years we’ve known each other, you’ve never told me your origin story?”

  “Origin story? Dude, my life is not a comic book.”

  He smirked. “But you’re trying to be a superhero, aren’t you? Trying to avenge all the stuff that went wrong in your life?”

  He threw the ax. It slammed into the board, right into the target.

  He threw up his hands. “Why didn’t that happen when Leigh was still here?”

  I snorted. “In love too, huh?”

  His eyes widened. “Man, I think she might kill me. Like those female praying mantises that bite their man’s head off during sex. But I also think it might be worth it.”

  “Take your chances, then. Just make sure HR has all your next of kin information on file.”

  He snickered. “Seriously, though. You and Zora. She’s amazing. Gorgeous. Smart as hell. You’ve been in love with that girl all your life? I can see why now.”

  “My whole life, man.”

  “That why you never settled down?”

  I took a deep breath, feeling relieved down to my toes. It was a gift to be on the other side now, the other side of all that sadness and longing.

  “I think so. It’s always been her for me.”

  He dug the ax out of the board and returned. “Then don’t fuck it up.”

  “How would I do that?”

  His head tilted. “I don’t know. But this is the happiest and most relaxed I’ve seen you since we met. I’d like to know what it’s like to work with Disney Nick.”

  “Get outta here, I’m still the same guy.”

  “I mean it. Don’t fuck it up. And fix it if you do.”

  I stood behind the line, prepared to throw.

  “And don’t do that controlling, ‘I know what’s best for you’ thing you do.”

  I looked back. “What are you talking about?”

  He studied his shoes, ax dangling in one hand. “That thing you do, where you decide you know what’s best for someone, what they should do. Then push and manipulate to that end.”

  I turned to face him fully. “I don’t do that. I don’t think so. Do I?”

  “Constantly. I used to be confused by it. You’re not a dick generally, not all the time.”

  I flipped him off.

  “But talking to your aunt Nan, I get it now. She thinks you’re compensating for the earlier years in your life when you didn’t have much control.”

  I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth. “It’s nice to know my aunt is putting her profession to use by psychoanalyzing me for others.”

  “Don’t be mad. It gave me great insight into you. It’ll help me have better patience the next time you do it.”

  “I don’t want you to have patience. I like you worrying that I’m steps away from crazy. Fosters a healthy reverence.”

  “I’m serious,” Eddie said, all joking now gone from his face. “I see how much she means to you. Don’t try to manage her life for her. That works for friends and family who can cuss you out, tell you to fuck off. Won’t work in a new relationship with your dream girl.”

  I considered his words, studying the edge of the blade.

  I knew Eddie and knew he wanted the best for me. He had no reason to lie to me.

  And he may have had a point.

  Especially considering what I’d done that very morning.

  “Oh oh.” Eddie shook his head, eyes closed. “What the hell did you do?”

  I set the ax down on the nearby table, too preoccupied to throw it.

  “Well . . .”

  “Well, what?”

  Briefly, I broke down Zora’s funding and tenure dilemma, and Nellie’s dogged pursuit of a donation.

  Truth be told, I’d planned on making a gift anyway. I thought my mother would have gotten a kick out of having a conference room or building named after her. But after last night? After all that happened between Zora and me . . .

  After finally having her back after all these years, seeing in her eyes how much I meant to her too . . .

  I’d just wanted her to win.

  And fuck anybody who stood in the way of that. My woman wasn’t going to navigate this harsh world alone.

  “So, you blackmailed the development lady?”

  “That’s not what I did.”

  “Offering someone something, contingent upon their actions in return. That’s not blackmail?”

  “I don’t think it falls under that, no.”

  “You don’t think dangling that kind of money under that woman’s nose in exchange for Zora’s tenure and secret funding doesn’t fall under that definition?” He ran a hand over his head. “You’re already fucking up.”

  I groaned, leaned back against the wall.

  Had I? Had I fucked up?

  “Tell her.” Eddie’s tone bit into my thoughts. “Now. Immediately. Before she finds out on her own, before it’s worse.”

  I hesitated. “What if she never finds out? She may not have to, right? If it works out, if they want the money bad enough she’ll never have to know. She’ll just know she doesn’t have to worry anymore. Not about tenure, not about saving the jobs of all her employees.”

  But I read the doom on Eddie’s face.

  And I worried.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Zora

  I shivered, caught, floating on the thinnest wisp of consciousness. Breaths from reality, suspended in the indistinct shadows of a dream world.

  Wicked fingers slid, drifted, cupped my breast, plucked at the berried stem of my nipple. I moaned, clenched my legs against the gathering heat below. Heat and warmth curled around me, blanketed me. Moist, hot, spearmint breath collected in my ear. I captured the muscled arm stealthily traversing my hip, snaking through the valley of my waist.

  “You up?” The sleep coarsened voice sent an involuntary finger of delight racing up my spine.

  I took my time answering, luxuriating in the slow exploration of his questing fingers in the soft slick of our previous lovemaking.

  “No. I’m asleep.”

  His laughter, low and wicked, rolled over me. Bearded bramble dragged deliciously along my forehead as he shifted, his hand, fingers working my tightness in earnest. My hips lifted, churned, circled, slave to his spell.

  “Well. What about Celeste?”
r />   “Seems you two are already talking.”

  The groan in his whiskered throat vibrated against my neck. “Baby. You’re so wet. Can I have you? Please?”

  The words, and the clever torment of his fingers, tripped the wire. Ecstasy, blinding and stinging, stiffened all my limbs. Clamped me tight all around his fingers.

  “That’s right.” Wet heat laved my nipple with excruciatingly light strikes. The added sensation seized my jerking hips, pushed a keening, indistinct sound from my throat.

  “Please.”

  The sly licking paused. “You sure you’re not asleep still?”

  “I’m going to kill you.”

  “Promise?” He lifted my leg, adjusted our position until the wide, broad head of his dick nudged my opening.

  I reached back, my fingers gripping his hair, panting. Ready to beg.

  “Please.”

  He surged forward in an aggressive thrust just as his teeth sank into my neck. Our twin moans rose as I clenched around him, my hips desperate for every possible inch of him. He swore, turning and adjusting me until I was in the lewdest position possible, open and exposed to his bright eyes.

  “You’re insatiable,” I accused, grasping for coherent language as his hips commenced a heavy roll that stretched me and stole all conscious thought.

  When it was over, him limp and heavy atop me, me full and wet with him, I reflected I’d never known this quality of happiness existed.

  “Breakfast is ready,” he gasped on what sounded like a dying breath. “I’ll bring it to you when I’m back on this planet.”

  “That’s okay.” I smiled against his cheek, relishing the scrape. Loving that he was mine. “Let’s put on clothes and sit at a table like civilized people. For once.”

  Less than an hour later, I met him in the kitchen. Now freshly showered, I smiled at the slight sting from the abrasive beard burn between my thighs.

  God. There couldn’t be a happier woman on the planet. It wasn’t possible.

  Nick shot me a heavy-lidded glance from across the kitchen table. “What are you over there smiling about?”

  I lowered into my seat, unable to help the grin spreading across my face. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

  He leaned forward, his gaze darting to my cleavage and the punctuation of my nipples beneath the coral silk robe.

  The heat in his gaze, the flare of his nostrils, made me feel powerful.

  “As a matter-of-fact, I would like to know. I can move this food and we can—”

  I laughed, lowering my arms to encircle the plates. “No, sir, you won’t. I’m hungry and Celeste is on a time out. You’ve worn her out. Now, what is this?”

  He eyed me for several beats before responding. “Looks like some kind of quiche. Emilio didn’t label it. Eggs, his favorite sweet potato hash—”

  “Wait, who?”

  “Emilio, my chef. He flew in yesterday, came in, and made a few meals for us while I was out.”

  “So you didn’t make this? Your chef flew in? To make food for you?” I shook my head. “You have a chef?”

  Nick handed the platter of bacon out to me. “Yeah, two. Emilio’s East Coast. I’ve got another guy for when I’m in San—What’s wrong?”

  I stood up, went to the cabinet, and opened the door so he wouldn’t see my expression. God, what was I doing? How had I managed to forget who he was, all he had? What place would I have in his life when all this was over?

  “Zora?”

  “I’m just getting a glass.”

  “There are glasses here, on the table.”

  “Yeah, well. I want another one. Taller. For water.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar.”

  I sighed, clenched the exterior cabinet pull in one hand. “I guess I just forgot.”

  “Forgot what?”

  I pulled a glass down, steeled my nerves before turning.

  And found Nick right behind me, so close I had no choice but to back against the counter.

  His arms came around me, caged me in. “What’s wrong, baby?”

  I huffed. “Why do you call me that now?”

  Dark swaths of hair swept across his forehead and almost obscured the view of those green eyes I loved so much. I reached up, pushed it back.

  “You need a haircut.”

  He caught my arm, pressed a kiss against the sensitive skin right below my wrist. “I call you ‘baby’ because you’re my baby. Mine. A few minutes ago, you held me inside you and told me I was yours. And now you’ve got that scared look in your eyes. So I need to know what’s going on in your head.”

  I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him, couldn’t help but respond to the intimacy of his tone.

  “Tell me.”

  “I forgot.”

  “Forgot what?”

  “That you’re rich. Really rich. Rich, rich.”

  He frowned. “That’s a bad thing?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I just forgot is all. It’s been a while since we were in New York. I’m used to seeing you here. I guess I forgot who you are, what you do, what you have.”

  His forehead lowered to mine. “You want me to give it all away?”

  I let out a short laugh. “No, I—”

  “Zora, I’ve worked for this moment, with you in my arms, for a long time. I’m not giving you up for anything. The money’s not who I am, baby. I think you already know that. Tell me what’s really bothering you.”

  I lifted a shoulder, fought against the fear stirring in my belly. “You have an entire life, a way of being. Full of balls and events and expectations, all the things I’m no good at. You’re in Green Valley for now, but you have to go back to that life.”

  He was quiet, but I wasn’t fooled. I’d known him long enough to know his mind was busy behind the guileless expression.

  “I’ve loved waking up to you every morning and Sir Duke. But—”

  “But what?”

  “My life is a mess right now. I barely know if I’m coming or going. With tenure and funding up in the air—”

  He slid a hand behind my neck, wove his fingers into my thick curls. “There’s only one question and one answer that matters here. Do you want me? Us? What we are?”

  “Yes,” I answered readily, immediately.

  “That’s all that matters. We will figure it out.”

  “But your travel—”

  “I’ll figure it out. I’ve got places all over. Though, maybe this isn’t the time to talk about my international real estate.” He grinned at me, then sobered, his gaze moving over my face. “If it comes through—tenure, funding—would you want to stay here?”

  It was a damn good question.

  Things were far different than they’d been when I’d accepted my position at the university and started conducting research at Knoxville Community Hospital. My mother was out of the woods. She’d be okay; I didn’t have to live in close proximity to be assured of her well-being. I didn’t feel the same inclination, the same pressure, to make a place for myself among my family anymore, to prove anything. I was okay with me, with the choices I’d made to get me to this point.

  I was less certain about the career I’d spent so much time carving out, and my path forward. But suddenly, I felt . . . open to change.

  “I don’t know.” It was the truth. “I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. I think I’m open to exploring something else, for my sake. But I’m also not willing to just walk away from what I’ve built before I know how it all shakes out. Not without seeing it through.”

  He nodded, those bright eyes boring into mine. I didn’t realize I was biting my lower lip until his thumb gently pulled it away from the torture of my teeth. “So, you want to wait? See how it shakes out?”

  I sighed. I was eager to begin the future I hadn’t even known I needed and yet . . . “Yes. I have to. It’s one thing if I decide to change course. It’s another thing if I fail. If I’m pushed out.”

&n
bsp; “But, that’s not—”

  I laid a finger against his lips when he shook his head, silencing his protestations. “No. Listen. It’s true. If I decide to do something different, the way I leave all this matters. Especially then. I’ve got my staff to think about.”

  His gaze moved from mine and settled somewhere beside us. “I can wait with you. You’ll know soon enough. I can easily fly back and forth for a month or two, you know that. And you know my offer to fund your employees still stands—”

  “I know, and I’m grateful you would do that. For me, for them. But you’ve got to let me deal with this, my own way, however it shakes out. I know I’m a mess about it all right now—”

  “You’re not a mess—”

  “But I really am capable of handling it all. I need you to know that. I don’t want you to rush in and rescue me.”

  “Of course not,” he said. Something undecipherable flickered across his face, then disappeared. “But there’s gotta be something I can do. It’s hard for me to just . . . watch while you’re going through this.”

  I reached out and ran my hand along the terrain of his whiskered jaw, wanting to soothe the uneasiness of his expression. “I damn sure could use a hug while I give it my all.” I sent him my best seductive look from under my lashes. “Also, I’ve read that orgasms are incredibly effective for alleviating stress, even—”

  His mouth was on mine and I responded before I really even registered it, my hands winding around his neck, then sliding along the strong planes of his back. His strong hands grasped my waist, planted me on the counter, and slid between my skin and the silk of the robe until my breasts were in his hands, his fingers tweaking my nipples. I cupped him through his pants, hunted for the zipper in the placket of his jeans.

  It was so easy with him. I’d never imagined I could feel so free, so uninhibited, so much myself with a man. This man. My goofy, awkward, pain-in-the-ass self. It was a relief, and terrifying. The closeness, the naked intimacy he demanded left me unnerved, naked. Vulnerable.

  It also left me certain now that I couldn’t go back, didn’t want to live life again without this quality of love that was at once steady, dependable, and exhilarating.