by Ryan Michele
“Now.” The intensity in his words makes my body move on its own accord. I can never turn my body’s reaction to him off and part of me craves him. I move close and he reaches out, his good arm pulling me even closer to his body. My head rests on his arm as I lay on my side, hand on his rock hard chest and my legs next to his. I itch to move them over his, but keep them where they are. His arm holds me tight against his body as I wiggle to get comfortable and it doesn’t take much.
I sink into the comfort that he is providing me. I’ll only lay here for a little bit, I tell myself. But his warmth is too much and my eyes begin to get heavy.
The creak of the door as it opens rouses me from the most peaceful sleep I’ve had in months. Opening my eyes slowly, my Angel is draped over my body, her arm close to her as if she knew instinctively not to touch my wounds. Her legs entwine with mine and her chest slowly rises and falls telling me she is in a deep sleep. Casey’s beautiful face rests on my arm. Her blonde and now black hair sweeps across the bed in a huge curtain. Cherries. Damn woman always smells like damn cherries, and I fucking love it.
My eyes jet to the noise at the door and see Doc standing there, waiting.
“I heard she was back.” Doc says quietly staring at my girl. I want to gouge his fucking eyes out for even looking at her¸ string him up and beat the ever-loving shit out of him.
“What do you need?” I growl wanting him to leave, shut the door and allow me to forget the outside fucking world.
“Ma called. Said you passed out. Now I can see why.” He smiles reaching into his bag.
“Stop fucking looking at her.” I warn his eyes shooting to mine.
“Down there, big boy. I don’t want your girl. Just nice to see you a bit more alert.” He places the stethoscope in his ears and begins to place it on my body listening to me.
“Don’t wake her up.” I glare in his eyes.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He says smiling only causing my anger to turn red hot. Who the fuck does he think he is?
He checks my bandages and dressings thoroughly and I watch my beautiful Angel sleep peacefully in my arms without even a stir as Doc works. Her porcelain skin is so light against my tan and the little bit of freckles across the bridge of her nose is the only color gracing her face. I love those fucking things; it’s where I came up with Angel for her. Her freckles are Angel kisses and she is my Angel.
Casey’s tiny frame is pressed up against mine and I relish in the soft curves of her body. Never have I wanted a woman to lay with me like this. Never. Casey is the only one. Ever. And dammit if I didn’t want to stay like this forever. Damn sap.
“No infection. Keep taking the antibiotics. You need to rest.” Doc says pulling my eyes to his. He looks down at Angel and I glare. “I mean it. If you just rest a day, I guarantee, you’ll feel a shit ton better and will be able to get up and move without passing out. Your blood’s trying to replenish itself. You need to stay still to accomplish this.”
“Fine. You can go now. Thanks.” I grunt needing him out of my fucking room and away from my girl.
“Maybe she can keep you in line.” Before I can fire off a retort, Angel’s body moves slightly as she begins to wake. I grip her body tight, expecting she will want to bolt especially if she knows someone is in the room and I’m not letting her go.
“Hey Angel.” Her eyes slowly flutter open and widen as she looks at me. Her green eyes utterly pull me under and she doesn’t even know it.
“Hey. How ya feeling?” She says trying to pull out of my grasp.
“Don’t. Move.” I demand feeling her body tense then relax into me. She’s always been so in tune to my commands, her body instantly following them and I’m banking on that shit now.
“I was just telling your man here that he needs to stay in bed and rest.” Casey gasps turning her head quickly to the man standing at the door. She tries again to get out of my grasp, but I hold tight.
“I told you not to move.” I say again to her, my arms flexing around her. She lays her head on my chest, but the stiffness in her body doesn’t leave this time. Every muscle in her body is on high alert. Thanks a-fucking-lot Doc.
Casey’s soft voice questions the man causing her tension. “Doc. Is he okay?” Concern pours from her voice as my arm pulls her as tight to me as possible. I bend giving her a kiss on top of her head feeling her soft hair on my lips. As soon as my lips touch her head, her body freezes and I’d give anything to wipe away what I’ve done to this woman.
“He will be if he rests. He’s gotta stay in this bed for twenty-four hours so his body can get his blood supply back up to where it needs to be. He needs to take his antibiotics, pain meds and rub this salve on his wounds so they don’t get infected. Princess has been doing that for him thank God.”
“What happens after the twenty-four hours?” Her words come out muffled from lying on my chest.
“Reevaluate. See where he is. Right now, his wounds are healing wonderfully. The salve I gave him is some ancient Native American stuff I got while working with a colleague of mine. It works wonders, if the patient rests.”
“He will. I’ll make sure of it.” The confidence swarms her voice.
“You will… Will you? How you gonna do that Angel?” I ask looking down at her as her eyes lift to mine.
“I have my ways.” Her smile is as bright as the sun shining as she bites her bottom lip making my dick rise to the occasion. She must have felt it as her leg slowly moves away from my growing dick. I need her to stay with me and not run. I know if I push that’d be the first thing she’ll do as soon as she can. Bolt and she has every right to.
“Make you a deal, Angel. You stay with me, in this room, for the next twenty-four hours and I’ll stay put. Promise.” I grin, waiting for her response, but she surprises the shit out of me at how quick she gives in.
“Done. See Doc. I have my ways.” She smirks laying her head back down on my chest.
“Princess has everything. Talk to her. And Casey?”
“Yeah?” She answers Doc.
“Good luck.” He turns finally leaving my fucking room, closing the door behind him. I need to lock it, but fuck I am not moving an inch with this hot body next to me.
“So, you’re gonna take care of me huh?”
“Yep. Now let me get up so I can get to work.” She tries for the third time to pull away.
I retighten my arm. “No. You stay right here.”
“Come on. I can’t take care of you when I’m lying down.” There are so many things she can do for me lying down. My thoughts race to her riding my dick, sucking it, her pussy in my face, but I keep it all to myself. I am not scaring her off this time.
I’ve hurt her, bad. I watched at that moment as the entire spark left her beautiful eyes and I kick myself every damn day for doing it. I keep telling myself it was for the best, that she deserved better.
And she does. But I’m a selfish fucking prick and almost dying has put a few things in perspective. I don’t deserve her, but I need her. I need her like air. And this time, I am not fucking up. I can’t.
“You’re keeping me in bed. That’s all you’ve gotta do right now.” I need to feel her and her warmth, just having her here with me is already making every bit of pain evaporate. Whatever voodoo spell she has going on is sucking me in like a vise and I do not want to get the fuck out of it.
“You wanna watch TV?” She asks making me wonder why.
“Nope.”
“Okay.” She sighs.
“What’s wrong, Angel?” My hand rubs her boney hip absently. Her shorts are so damn short that my finger grazes her skin and even though she doesn’t say a word about it, the shudder of her body each time tells me she feels it too. The once plush body Casey had is now replaced with skin and bones. I’m almost afraid to squeeze too hard, afraid I may just break her. She is a shell of what she was the last time I saw her. But I just got her in my arms I’ll keep my mouth shut, for now.
“You scared me.” She m
utters quietly.
“I’m good, Angel.”
She turns her head and rests her chin on my chest. Her eyes gaze up at me full of worry and concern. “I thought you died with Diamond. When Low told me what happened, there was a moment when I thought it was you. That you were gone.” Pain etches in her eyes and it kills me. I want to wipe it away and never see her hurt again.
“I’m here, Angel.” My arm glides up her back, hooking her arm, pulling her face to face with me. Lifting my head from the pillow, my lips connect with her soft cherry ones. Thinking she will hesitate, I’m surprised that she meets me move for move. My hand entangles in her hair, gripping it as I deepen the kiss. If I could crawl inside of her at this moment, I would. And I’d stay there, live there forever. Our kiss is passionate but lazy and I take my time. The intensity is there, but behind it is so much more. I pour everything I can into it, telling her without words how I feel for her and she meets me at every turn.
Her hand presses against the side of my face, while the other threads through my hair. I love her hands pulling me exactly where she wants me. Our tongues do some sort of rhythmic dance and I savor every second of it.
“Well, that didn’t take long.” Princess scoffs as she pushes the door open. Casey flies off the bed covering her mouth with her hand so fast I can’t catch her. The panic that spreads in her eyes is painful to watch. But I did that shit to her. I’m the one who created it. Now it is time to fix it.
“Don’t you know how to fucking knock?” I snarl at my sister.
“Nope. Time for your meds, brat.” She hands me a small cup as I sit up taking the pills and swallowing quickly. “Good to see you’re playing nice.”
“Mind your own fucking business.” I growl loudly making Angel jump. Instinctively I want to comfort her, but just sitting up causes my head to spin a bit. I wouldn’t make it over to her without falling.
“I have to go.” Casey says grabbing her bag.
“Where the hell are you going? You made a deal!” I bark out, thoroughly irritated with her.
“To my room. I have to get a few things.” She says hurriedly.
“When you come back, bring all your shit so you don’t have to leave again.” I demand.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” She breezes past Princess not looking her in the face. Fuck.
“What was that about?” Princess asks coming to the bed.
“What the fuck, Princess?” I growl.
“Down big guy.”
“Don’t you down me. You need to think before you do shit!” I yell.
“I just came to give you your meds. How the hell would I know you were lip locked with her?” She shrugs.
“You realize that I’m gonna flatten you out in the ring right?”
“Hard to do with one arm.” She smarts back radiating confidence.
“Fuck you.”
“No thanks.”
“Look, you need to tell me what the fuck is going on. I can’t take this shit anymore G.T. You’ve gotta talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Bullshit. We fought. You remember that shit and then you still don’t talk to me. Explain that shit to me ‘cause I don’t get it.”
The night that Princess challenged me to fight, I couldn’t back down. I had to meet her inside the ring. I had mixed emotions about it. I needed to let off steam, but I really didn’t want to do it with my sister. But with each blow that she and I landed on each other, I felt a bit of relief. In no way did it help me forget Casey, but for those few minutes, I had something else to focus on.
“I was pissed at myself. Still am. Sorry, alright.” Looking away from her, I do not want her to see inside me. I hate that shit and she’s always been able to see inside of me, knowing there is more to it than I let on.
“Why are you pissed at yourself?”
“I’m not talking about it.” I stare at her determined to not answer.
“You know she loves you right.” My eyes shoot to Princess.
“What?”
“Casey. She loves you. She’s loved you since we were kids. Now this shit’s in your corner. If you fuck this up this time, she’ll never be yours.”
I hurt her before, allowing the club momma to kiss me. Fuck. Closing my eyes, I let the words seep into my body and down to my soul. I cut her deep. Deeper than I even thought I had the power to do. Shit.
“She never told me what happened between you two. I’m guessing you fucked around on her, by what little she did say.”
Growling I jump jerking my body towards her, “I didn’t fucking cheat on her.” I pause as Princess waited. “I just let her think I did.”
“Why the fuck would you do that?” Princess’ anger lets loose, her face turning bright red.
Rubbing my one good hand across my face, “It’s what needed to be done.”
“For who? Casey? Because I know, that’s a bunch of shit.”
“She deserves better.” She deserves so much better than my fucked up shit.
Princess got in my face. “You really are a fucking idiot.” Her words cut deep, but my anger took over, all-consuming rage burrowed through me.
“I’m not a fucking idiot!” I yell as Princess jumps back eyeing me warily. She didn’t say a word for the longest time just standing there staring.
“So that’s the reason. You don’t think you’re good enough for her because you don’t have some fancy degree, bullshit. Let me tell you something. Casey doesn’t give two shits about your education or lack thereof. She doesn’t care that you don’t sit in some office with a fucking suit on making millions of dollars. You know what she fucking wants. Loyalty. Honesty. Trust. She wants a man who only sees her and not the other millions of women in the world. She wants a man who treats her with respect and one she trusts to go out and not sleep with the entire female population. She wants you G.T. Now it’s up to you, to pull your head out of your ass and make it happen. Because I know. She’s the only one you want.”
“You fucking tell anyone about this conversation and I’ll pound your ass into the ground.”
Princess laughs. “Aww… Big bad biker doesn’t want anyone knowing he has a heart.”
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” I snarl. Princess’ laughter overtaking the room. I need her to fucking leave. Now.
“Decide what you want brother and figure it out. What’s this deal you made?”
“She has to stay with me for twenty-four hours and I promised to rest.”
“Good. Then use the time to your advantage.” Princess gave me a slight wave and leaves the room.
Use it to my advantage. The words ring in my ears and penetrated my head. I’d never had to seduce a woman or charm them. But with Casey, I’d be doing a lot of that. How? I have no fucking clue.
Rummaging through all of my things, I need a distraction and escape from the guilt that is consuming me and eating me alive. Not even a day home with him and I’m kissing him like some hormonal teenager. I need to tell him, but shit, he can’t even freaking stand without passing out. How the hell is he going to react to having a child that I lost?
My stomach hurts the ache inside rising.
It’s only a kiss, right? Who am I fucking kidding? Not only was it a kiss, I want so much more out of it. As soon as his lips touched mine, fire seeped in my body, setting it ablaze. Everything with him feels so intense and knocks me on my ass every damn time. Shit.
I turn to the door as a loud knock comes upon it. Opening the door, a smiling Harlow stands there and I want to rip her damn eyes out. Not that I could, but I want to… badly. She knows too much.
“You love him. It’s what’s meant to happen.”
“I can’t be with him, Harlow. I knew coming home would be a mistake.” I shake my head, tired of repeating myself over and over again.
Harlow slams the door shut as she sits on the bed. I join her and wring my hands together. Looking down at my hands, I want to disappear. I want to tell her, I need to tell her. “Com
ing home was what was supposed to happen. Needed to happen. Fucking sucks it had to be like this, but we can’t change that. You and G.T. need to work this shit out.”
“What’s to work out, Harlow? He wants a variety of women and I can’t deal with that. It’s all or none with me.” And once I tell him about Mia, it will all be over.
Harlow grabs my leg steadying it when I don’t realize it is bouncing uncontrollably. “You need to talk to G.T., you may be surprised. Second, he’s going to kiss you again. You know this and next time, I may not be there to interrupt.” I nod. “I know my brother’s an ass, but you gotta know Casey, he loves you. He won’t admit it because he’s stubborn, but he does.”
“If a man loves you, he won’t want anyone else but you.”
“You need to talk to him about that, Casey.”
“What do you know?” I question, raising my brow.
“Not my place. Talk to him while you’re in there. None of this other petty bullshit. Fucking talk. And get this shit sorted out.”
“He told you?” She nods. “What was I thinking?” I say shaking my head frustrated with myself. This is such a bad idea, being locked in a room with him.
“Oh, I can only imagine. Doc said something about him staying put and he grabbed you, pulling you in.” She laughs. “He’s a smart man. Knew you would help him.”
I give her a small knowing smile because she is right and I went for it hook-line-and-sinker.
“I know that coming back to all this is a lot, but are you okay?” I look down at my hands. This is the time. My opening. I shake my head no.
“What’s wrong Casey? School not working out for ya?” I can’t hold it in any longer. The tears I’ve been doing such a good job of holding back fall from my face and splash onto my hands, my shoulders begin to shake. Everything in my body hurts and aches and my stomach twists in knots.
“Shit. Casey. What’s wrong?” The words will not leave my mouth, it’s like they’re lodged in my throat and I so desperately need them to come out. She wraps her arms around me and that’s when I really lose it. I’ve craved her since I found out about Mia. And now she’s here.
