She slides the pad of paper towards me, “Say it.”
I lift up the pen, reluctantly, and begin to write.
He doesn’t want me that way.
“Not true,” her voice is calm and her words intense. She crosses the room to the bag, lifts it up and sets it down on the counter in front of me. “He’s just not ready to admit it yet and neither are you.”
She turns and walks out of the room, calling out to me as she goes, “Check the pocket, he wrote you a note.”
I swallow the last of my coffee in a hurry, grateful it has cooled enough to keep from burning my throat. He left me a note? My stomach feels hollow and my nerves are firing on all counts. Reaching into the side pocket of the bag and I feel a folded piece of paper that wasn’t there yesterday. It was his note. I want to pull it out, scour every word of it a hundred times but I don’t. I can’t, not yet. So I sit with my hand in the pocket, touching the letter for what seems like hours.
Maybe Hudson would blow my mind but he’d be wasting it on me. It wouldn’t be fair if I let anyone believe I was worthy of his attention. I don’t know why Missy insists we have feelings for each other. We don’t. We can’t.
I’m a stranger to him and he is to me.
And yet…he left me note. Why would he do that?
Finally feeling brave enough, I pull the sheet of paper out of the pocket. I can see the dark scrawls of his handwriting, the page folded neatly in half. I can tell he has nice handwriting for a man, legible but not overtly male. I stare down at it, waiting for it to strike me like a snake. It doesn’t. I take a deep breath, unfold the page and begin reading.
Alice,
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not appreciating you. I’m sorry for thinking out loud and I’m sorry for what those thoughts were. Mostly I’m sorry I chased you away.
The truth is, you unhinge me and I don’t know how to react to it. It frightens me how much I crave your presence, even if you’re only ever silent. You make me feel like I can do anything, overcome anything and I haven’t felt this way in a long time.
Please, give me the chance to explain in person and apologize. Have dinner with me tonight. I’ll wait for your answer.
Hudson
I read the letter again before putting it down. Tears fall freely from my eyes, plopping down onto the page, running the letters together. My heart aches over his words, it aches for him. This is wrong on so many levels. I didn’t like how he felt he needed to apologize to me. He didn’t. He was only doing what eventually needed to be done, creating space between us.
But damn it I want a dinner with him.
I could have dinner with him if I made it perfectly clear it was a dinner meant for friends, couldn’t I? Then I could explain to him why he didn’t need to go through all of this for me. Yes, if he understood where I stood, then surely we could work something out.
I stand up, the letter in hand, determination in my heart and walk down the hallway searching for Missy.
I didn’t know what to do next but I did know I had nothing to wear. Something told me Missy could help in that department. I just hoped she understood this was not a date.
Yeah, right Alice, keep telling yourself that.
*****
Missy insisted on a stop at the salon when I showed her the letter and told her I was going to have dinner with Hudson. Thankfully the drive is short because I began to regret my decision the moment Missy squealed like a teenage girl. I’m going on a date with her brother. Only it wasn’t a date and no matter how many times I tried to explain it to her she didn’t believe me.
We pulled up to a charming building built in the late fifties. It had a mid-century modern feel to it, painted the bright pastels of the time period. The sign above the door declared it to be the salon we called earlier for an appointment, Eleanor’s Beauty Bucket. A doorbell jingles overhead as we enter the posh location. It’s a small shop but busy no less.
“Missy,” A dark haired woman, with hot pink streaks greets us at the counter. She waves enthusiastically, a huge smile on her face. Her eyes meet mine and she gasps making me flinch. “Is this her?”
Missy turns to me and flips my brassy blonde locks, “Pinkie, this is Alice.”
“You weren’t exaggerating,” Pinkie, who is petite and pixie like, eyeballs my hair, her face no longer as bright. I cross my arms, suddenly very insecure. “Alice, we’re going to fix this right up for you, I promise. You’ll leave here feeling more beautiful than you’ve ever felt in your life.”
Missy touches my shoulder and I smile nervously at her. She pulls me in for a sideways hug, squeezing gently. I relax, accepting her gift of a makeover. All I want is to borrow a dress but she has other things in mind.
“I think Marjory would be perfect for this project, what do you think Missy?” Pinkie’s eyes are alight again, her smile even bigger than the first one.
“I think you’re right, is she available?”
“You’re in luck, she just had a cancellation,” she looks down at the appointment book in front of her. “She can work some magic in about an hour.”
“Perfect,” Missy bounces a bit on her toes, smiling as big as Pinkie. “While we wait, are there any open slots for mani-pedis?”
I look around, taking in the scene before us. The place is busy, filled with woman of all ages, chattering the latest gossip in between the sound of blow dryers and running water. There are at least ten stations, four manicure tables and three pedi-spas, all busy with customers. Pinkie stands from her chair at the desk, pulling my attention back to her. “We always have an opening for you. I’ll let Bobbi know you’re here.”
She walks toward the back of the salon and disappears briefly around the corner, leaving us at the desk waiting. When she reappears, a gorgeous woman with bright red hair, red lips and figure that curved for days follows close behind. She also has a smile plastered to her face.
“Missy,” her voice was large and over the top, a slight southern twang to it. She engulfs Missy into a hug. “It’s been too long. You haven’t been to see trashy Tammy, have you?”
“As if I ever betray you, one of my oldest friends,” Missy laughs and takes the woman’s hand in her own, squeezing it affectionately. “Tell me, how is Ms. Eleanor feeling?”
“You know her, just as ornery as ever,” Bobbi’s laugh is throaty and lush. She gazes over at me and smiles deeply. Her copper eyes are warm and filled with kindness. “Pinkie tells me you girls are in need of some pampering.”
“Yes, we are,” Missy releases Bobbi’s hand and pulls me closer to her. “This is Alice, a good friend of mine and Hudson’s.”
Bobbi’s eyes widen and I see a twinkle in their depths as she regards me. She reaches for my hand and pulls me closer. Her hand gently touches my chin, lifting it higher and she studies me carefully.
“I see,” her voice is soft. “Missy this one here is perfect for our boy. Nothing like that trailer trash Crystal he married.”
My eyes cut towards Missy, panic ensuing. I expect her to correct Bobbi, explain I’m not for her brother. That we’re just friends. He’s helping me out until I figure out what I’m going to do next. She doesn’t though. She doesn’t even look my way.
“Isn’t she?” Missy’s voice is light and airy, her smile soft. When she finally looks over at me, the panic I felt is gone, replaced with understanding. I know she thinks I’m good for her brother. That’s what this was all about, the spa day, the shopping, making sure I went to this dinner with Hudson. She’s trying to play matchmaker. I’m flattered but I’m not right for him. If she knew the truth about me, I know she would agree.
Yes, I’m attracted to Hudson. I know he’s a good man inside and he’s fighting his own way out of the darkness. I’m not going to lie and say the thought hasn’t occurred to me but it’d be wrong. He deserves someone the opposite of me and he made it clear last night I’m not who he wants. Regardless of the note and his apology, I’m not going to let him fool himse
lf.
Bobbi gasps, her eyes go wide again and she brings her hands to her mouth, utterly perplexed. “You must think I’m completely rude, going on about you like your aren’t here. Please forgive me.”
I give her a weak smile because truthfully I didn’t find her behavior rude. I’m used to people talking about me like I’m not there. I experienced it my entire life, more so during my captivity. She didn’t know that of course, how could she? I glance over to Missy, hoping she reads my thoughts and pulls Bobbi’s attention away from me.
“How about those pedicures?” Missy clears her throat.
Bobbi’s gaze flicks between us before shaking off the awkwardness, “Of course, Carla and Beth are just finishing up. You ladies pick out something fabulous for those toes and I’ll let them know you’re waiting.”
Missy nods and points me in the direction of what can only be described as a rainbow wall. There are shelves of nail polish all neatly lined up, ready for someone to come along and be inspired. I feel a sudden rush of excitement, the idea of having my toes painted is something I love. Pampering myself was something I enjoyed doing after I moved out of my parents home, before things went south with Erik. Missy giggles as she picks up a cherry red bottle and hands it to me.
“Hudson’s favorite,” she whispers before stepping away from the wall, pulling me in tow.
My hand closes over the small bottle and its cool glass warms under my touch.
Dare I?
*****
I sit staring at the reflection before me, unbelieving.
Is the woman staring back really me?
“Alice,” Missy whispers as she stares at me in awe. “You look beautiful.”
I blush and look away from the reflection staring back at me. Gone are the long locks of brassy blonde, replacing it is a short dark bob, styled perfectly to be casual yet complimentary to my creamy skin and small features.
“Honey, you’re the prettiest brunette I’ve ever seen and I’m one myself,” Marjory says as she steps back studying her creation in the mirror. She really is an artist at her craft. Even I have to admit I look amazing. I barely recognize the woman staring back at me.
“Marge, you outdid yourself but clients like her make our job so much easier. Natural beauty,” Bobbi walks up behind me and places both hands on my shoulders, squeezes gently. She looks down at my hands and notices the nervous twitch of my fingers. She gives me a friendly smile. “Cherry red? Very lovely, fits you perfectly.”
She looks up. Her eyes meet Missy’s in the mirror. Something passes between them. My guess is Bobbi knows what Hudson’s favorite color is and she guessing Missy chose it for me.
“What are you girls doing later?” Marjory asks, her smile is a dazzling white against her caramel skin. “I was thinking about hitting the town and having a drink or two.”
“Actually, Alice has a date,” Missy glances at me, our eyes connect in the mirror. She winks at me. “With Hudson.”
“Are you kidding me?” the woman seated in the chair behind me yelps. Batting away her hairdresser, she manages to turn her chair and face us. She scowls heavily and purses her lips, giving me a once over. “Tell me you’re not the reason that hot piece of sex on a stick stood me up last night.”
“Holly,” Bobbi’s voice is sharp. I cringe a little and keep my head down. The woman, called Holly, is a knock out, despite a head full of foil and the shapeless smock covering her body. Her piercing blue eyes burn a hole right through me.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” she hops out of her chair and I notice her banana yellow platform stilettos. “Or are you just stupid?”
Missy moves quickly, placing herself between Holly and me. She step into Holly’s personal space.
“Sit down,” Missy’s voice is dead cold, sending shivers down my spine. The entire salon has grown quiet from the commotion. I look up suddenly aware of the eyes on us.
“Get out of my face Missy,” Holly spits but Missy doesn’t move. “What are you her bodyguard?”
“From bitches like you I am.”
“How dare you—”
“How dare I?”
“Missy, calm,” Bobbi advises remaining relatively calm herself, which freaks me out a bit. I can feel the tension rolling off her but she keeps it in check, under control. Missy is more than ready to throw down with the bleach blonde but I have a feeling Bobbi’s about to prove what it means to fuck with a true southern woman. “Take a breath and walk away.”
“Yeah, Missy,” Holly sneers, emphasizing Missy’s name with contempt. “Listen to your girl before you get your ass beat.”
“Keep that mouth of yours shut if you know what’s good for you,” Missy smiles menacingly. I could tell by her stance she was ready and she knew what she was doing.
“You could try,” Holly snorts, her eyes roam the room. Missy steps forward again but Bobbi moves just as quickly, squeezing in between them. Both women step back, making room for her.
“She isn’t worth it Missy,” Bobbi pleads and Holly gasps, the insult hitting the intended target. “Your brother has some sense, standing her up.”
“You southern fried bitch,” Holly sneers, her venom eyes are pinned to the shop owner. A collective gasp echoes through the salon, all eyes on the scene before them. The black smock covering Holly’s body sticks out at odd angles were her arms are placed on her hips. She looks like a broke down medusa. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking about?”
“Oh honey, you don’t want to play the insult game with me,” the buxom redhead turns, her copper eyes on what I assume is now a dead woman walking. I don’t know Bobbi well but I get the sense she is not a woman to mess with. “Kelly, remove this woman’s smock and show her the door.”
Kelly, the woman who had been attending to Holly’s hair, snaps to attention, ripping away the smock. She then reaches for Holly’s arm but she pulls back, refusing to budge.
“Oh hell no,” Holly hisses, her eyes flying wildly around her. “Can you believe this? I’ve been a loyal customer for the last decade and this is how I’m treated?”
“Loyal?” Bobbi crosses her arms and scoffs at her. “You’re about as loyal as a bitch in heat. I know how loyal you are honey. Do you ask Tammy for the same deep pocket discount you ask my girls for each visit? If it wasn’t for your daddy and all that he’s done for this town, I would’ve refused service to you years ago. You think you’re hot shit in this town but you got it all wrong. You’re nothing but a white trash whore whose mama wasn’t smart enough to swallow or spit.”
The color drains from Holly’s face as each word hits her like a punch to the gut. She looks away and stumbles backward to her chair, reaching for her purse. Without a sound, she crosses to the door, stopping only as she reaches it. She pauses for a moment and finally turns toward Bobbi.
“Mark my word, Bobbi Lee, you will regret this,” Holly’s words lack fire but her eyes rage war.
“Get gone girl,” Missy cuts in.
“Fuck you Missy and your brother,” Holly hurls the words at her, hatred burning across her face. “I hope he chokes on it.”
She flings open the door and slams it closed behind her. The force of it shakes the building. Everyone sits dazed for a moment, watching the glare of the sun bounce off Holly’s tin foil head as she stomps away. As soon as Holly drives away in her red sports car, all eyes land on Bobbi, who is now staring at the smock in Kelly hands like it’s the plague.
“Kelly, get yourself a new smock from the back and burn that one,” Bobbi mutters, breaking the silence and the tension. A few nervous snickers sound off around the room. She looks over at me and smiles before addressing the salon. “Shows over ladies, time to get back to making the world a beautiful place.”
The room once again fills with noise, a soft buzz compared to earlier but there was hair to be cut, color to be rinsed and toes to be painted. The confrontation with Holly wasn’t a big deal to these women, which has me wondering about her. While I was sure she in fact is t
he world’s biggest bitch, I felt a little sorry for her.
“Don’t feel bad for her Alice,” Missy places a hand on my shoulder, interrupting me from my thoughts. I look up at her, careful to mask my thoughts. “Holly’s done a lot of fucked up shit to a lot of people in this town, my brother being one of them.”
I nod, but it still didn’t sit well with me. Shaking my head I attempt to clear away the thoughts, I wasn’t going to be here forever so it didn’t matter what her story was. Still, she is the one Hudson was in a hurry to meet up with. What did that even mean? Were they a couple or something? Holly said he stood her up and I can’t help wondering why? He left the house last night. His truck was gone when I left for my walk. Where did he go if not to meet her? Was there another woman somewhere?
Meeting Holly only led me to stand firm in my belief that Missy is crazy to believe Hudson has feelings for me. I’m nothing like Holly. She is gorgeous, big breasted, styled and obviously worldly. I’m small, frumpy and I wore clothing three sizes too big for me. She might’ve been a bitch but there is no way I could compete with someone who looks like her.
Chapter 13
Alice
I’m wearing dress number eight, when I hear Missy gasp. I just stepped out of the dressing room and swung my head to see what has her attention. She’s looking at me, her eyes slowly moving up and down my body.
“That’s the one,” she whispers. “You look stunning. Buy it.”
I smile and turn towards the mirror, stopping short of the woman staring back at me. This is the second time today I question the person looking back. I’m almost ready to pound on the glass for the old version of me to come back. I lift my arm, waving to the new version, she waves back. The transformation is difficult for me to swallow.
“The color is perfect Alice,” Missy says but I barely hear her words, the thump of my heart is so loud, I’m surprised she can’t hear it too. “Hudson’s going to love it.”
The pressure of tonight, the new haircut, the nails and now the dress, suddenly it was too much. My heart feels overwhelmed. Today wasn’t supposed to be like this. I just wanted a simple dress, not an entire makeover. Hudson and I were friends, nothing more, all of this made it feel like it was something more. As much as I wanted it to be something else, I couldn’t be dishonest with him or myself. Missy’s eyes catch mine in the mirror and her voice calms me almost instantly.
Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1) Page 11
