Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1)

by Douglas, Tracie

  “How would this work?” I run my hand through my hair. “She has to be protected, especially now that he knows who I am.”

  “Someone catch me up please,” Missy asks her eyes now concern filled. King briefly explains leaving out the parts about the danger my life will be in and I’m grateful he spared her the extra worry.

  “Between the five of us,” Dizzy interjects. “We’ve got your girl covered. We’ll have a man on her at all times. We’ll take shifts, twelve hours. No one leaves until the next man or woman on is briefed. Is that cool with you Hudson?”

  It wasn’t but what other choice did I have. She wasn’t going to like it either.

  “Night shifts sleep on the couch in the living room,” I stare down at the table, trying to stifle the burning in my gut. Everyone here knew Alice was special to me but the only King and Missy knew to what extent. I trusted my brothers though, they wouldn’t betray me. “Someone is always with her, no matter what. She isn’t going to like it but she’ll deal.”

  “We can do that,” King speaks and I look at him, allowing him to see the worry and fear I’m battling. He nods, taking it in. “She’ll be safe, so you can be safe.”

  I nod.

  Fuck if something didn’t sit right.

  It was going to take everything in me to leave her.

  Chapter 22

  Hudson

  Tonight, my own demons haunted my dreams. I sit up breathing heavily, trying to calm my racing heart. I thought I was past them but with everything spinning out of control the last few days, I should’ve expected this. I had serious reservations leaving Alice and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I had to go.

  Hoping I hadn’t woken her, I get up and walk down the hallway, straining my ears to hear anything from her. Her nightmares had gotten better since she opened up to me, a relief for both of us. She’s taken to leaving the door open since my accident with it.

  I peek in on her. The moonlight pours in from the window and down onto the bed. Her small form was lying center of the massive bed, spread out. A pair of shorts and one of my shirts cover her body. The blankets are twisted around her legs and the pillows are strewn around her, some on the floor. I can see her moving erratically, kicking and turning. She emits a small yelp and I know she’s dreaming. Worried she might hurt herself, I step into the room and cross to the bed. She whimpers again and mumbles something but I can’t make it out.

  Careful not to wake her, I kneel onto the bed and lay beside her. I have to dodge a few kicks and swings of her arms but I manage to pull her into my arms without jostling her. Her back is pressed against my chest and she tenses, crying out. My heart clenches, hating the nightmare she was reliving. I tighten my hold on her making sure she’s flush against me and throw my leg over to keep her from kicking my shins. I wrap my arms around her, bringing her arms gently to her sides, my lips against her hair, murmuring soft words to her, hoping they calm her. She begins to relax.

  “Alice, precious, you’re safe. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

  She mumbles inaudibly again, much calmer now, the fight and tension leaves her body. She leans into me, her breathing evens out and her whimpers turn into soft mews. I bury my nose into the crook of her neck, inhaling her. Damn, she smells fucking fantastic. Like sugary vanilla. Must be the new shampoo she bought with Missy the other day, I remembered seeing it in the shower, brown sugar vanilla.

  “Hudson,” her voice is husky and filled with confusion. I freeze, my nose still buried in her neck, afraid to move. “Are you alright?”

  I pull my face out of her hair and rest my lips on her temple.

  “You were having another nightmare,” I murmur, trying to shut down the warmth spreading through my body. Feeling her close to me, her legs tangled with mine, her ass pressing into my crotch, suddenly it was too much. I couldn’t move away though and that was the problem, well, one of them. The other problem wasn’t too far from revealing itself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “I’m glad you did,” she shifts, pulling away only to turn and face me. She hikes a leg over my hip, her shorts riding up to flash a ridiculous amount of leg. I reach out and caress it, knowing I shouldn’t but unable to stop myself. So fucking soft.

  She touches my face and leans toward me. For a moment, I think she might kiss me. She places her forehead against mine and closes her eyes, breathing in deeply. Does she feel it too?

  “I should go back into the other room, now that you’re alright,” I bury my lips in her hair. It’s what I should do but I can’t bring myself to move. Silently, I beg her to let me to stay, to let me hold her until she falls asleep again but deep down I wanted something more from her. I wanted to feel her legs wrapped around me, hear her moans in my ear as I make her come apart at the seams, only allowing myself the same release after she was thoroughly exhausted and sated. These were dangerous thoughts. Dangerous wants. Dangerous needs.

  I didn’t want to rush her, especially after today’s revelations. I knew she believed the things she told me about her life would turn me away but they didn’t. They pushed me in closer because I finally understood and I wanted more than anything to make it right for her. But I had to do the right thing. Taking a deep breath, I loosen my hold on her. She opens her eyes, a flash of worry crosses her face but it disappears as soon as I stop moving. She pulls me back to her, her eyes on mine and I can see she isn’t holding anything back. I see it all, the same need and want I feel. I swallow hard knowing now she feels it too.

  “Don’t go,” her words were soft, reminding me of the moment I first heard her speak. She moves closer, pressing her torso to mine. She moans when she feels my need digging into her belly. “Stay with me Hudson.”

  I groan, the power of her words weakening my resolve. I wanted to stay but knew if I did, too much would change too fast and we weren’t ready for it. No matter how much I wanted this woman, we needed to be ready.

  “I shouldn’t. It’s not smart.”

  “Who said anything about smart?” she grabs the front of my shirt, rolls onto her back, taking me with her. Holy fuck, did this woman look good underneath me.

  She pulls my head down, our lips grazing one another, teasing the both of us. Her tongue darts out and traces my lower lip. My control snaps and I kiss her hard, unforgiving, nothing like our earlier kiss.

  She tastes better than I remembered and she meets every demand I make. I grind my cock down onto her heat. She wraps her legs around me and thrusts her hips up to meet mine. Her hands under my shirt send bolts of electricity through me. The friction, the heat, is unlike anything I’ve ever known.

  I reach for the hem of her shirt and hesitate.

  “Hudson,” she moans into my mouth, her tongue exploring eagerly, urging me to push further.

  I can’t.

  I push off and away from her, instantly missing the heat of her body. I shake my head, trying to clear it and look down at her.

  *****

  Alice

  His face twists and I know he’s trying to fight the boiling need between us. I don’t want him to. I want him to surrender to it. I want to surrender to it.

  “Don’t stop,” I whisper, licking my lips. I reach for him, intent on pulling him down to me but he dodges my hands and lifts completely off the bed. “Where are you going?”

  I lift up onto my elbows, watching as he begins pace the floor.

  “We can’t do this Alice,” he stops and turns to me but he doesn’t look at me. Doubt seeps into my body and I struggle to push it aside. I know what I felt and it was long, thick and rock solid against me.

  “I don’t understand,” I sit up further on the bed and frown. “You want me, Hudson. I want you too. I don’t see what the problem is. Why can’t we do this?”

  “I’m not like them,” he throws his hands into his hair, pulling at it a bit, a signature move when he’s worried about something. I’m beginning to understand a little more.

  Them. The men who used me.


  “No, you’re not,” I agree, reaching for his hand but he dodges me again. “What do they have to do with us?”

  His shoulders sag and he starts pacing again.

  “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep this up,” I tease and pat the bed next to me. “Come sit, talk to me.”

  He eyes the bed wearily. I know what he is thinking and I giggle. He’s worried about his self control but it wasn’t his self control that he needs to worry about. I’ve never felt the things he makes me feel and I wasn’t about to let him off the hook for it either. Kissing him was like coming awake for the first time ever and I was addicted. I wanted him to show me what else I’d been missing out on, what other feelings I could experience. I swallow hard unexpectedly nervous.

  “Sit,” I shift making more room for him to be comfortable. He does but he looks like he might jump out of his skin if I make one wrong move. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “We can’t do this...”

  “Hudson, breathe,” I interrupt him. His nostrils flare and he takes a deep breath, slowly releases it. He finally looks at me. There is a wildness in his eyes, almost like...I gasp as it dawns on me. “You’re nervous.”

  He looks away quickly, almost shamefully. I’m shocked and a bit speechless. What did he have to be nervous about?

  “No, I’m not,” he tries to deny it but it’s finally clear to me. This isn’t about them. This is about what us and what taking this step means. He doesn’t want me to feel pressure, to rush into something I’m not ready for. I pause for a moment, grateful he cares enough about me to consider everything my life has been about.

  Reaching for his hand, I urge him to look at me. I need him to see it written in my eyes. I was sure and I didn’t want this with anyone else. I wanted it with him. Everything I knew about sex was tainted with my history and I wanted him to change it. I couldn’t be any surer of this moment or of him.

  “I know, with you, it’s going to be different. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I’m ready for it. I want you to make me feel the way it’s supposed to feel.”

  “Alice…”

  “He wasn’t gentle. He wasn’t kind. He took his and when he was done, rolled over and passed out,” I feel embarrassed telling him this. “I never got to experience sex the way it’s supposed to be.”

  He considers my words with curiosity in his eyes. My past wasn’t a secret to him anymore. I’ve had a lot of sex but I’ve never enjoyed it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone either. I wanted to feel him pressed against me, his warm skin touching mine. I wanted to feel his mouth on my body, all over my body. I needed to hear him groan in my ear as he comes, my name on his lips.

  “Are you saying you’ve never had a...?”

  “No, I’ve never had an orgasm.”

  “Seriously,” a small spark flickers in his eyes, he leans toward me. I breathe him in, resisting the urge to latch onto him. “That’s just...wrong.”

  “What are you going to do about it?” the words leave my mouth before I can stop them but I don’t care. My breath comes quicker. His eyes darken with need, making a warm feeling pool in my belly. I resist the urge to moan as it travels south to my center. He leans in closer, pushing me onto my back but I can still see a flicker of hesitation cross his face.

  “Don’t stop,” I reach up, wrapping my arms around him neck. He allows me to pull him down on top of me, his body once again pressed firmly against mine, reigniting the fire deep in my belly. His hips swivel, pressing his need into me. “I want this. I want you...don’t make me beg.”

  The air around us changes, like an electric charge growing stronger with each passing second. He shifts, bringing a hand to my face. It’s gentle against my cheek as he caresses down to cup my neck. It rests there, his thumb moving in tiny circles. His eyes watch me, all his hesitation fading away and he finally closes the distance between our lips.

  I didn’t think the moment could be any better but then he deepened the kiss, coaxing my mouth open with the brush of his tongue. I surrender to him, my hands exploring the tight cords of his back through his shirt. It wasn’t enough, I needed more of him. Pulling up his shirt I brush his warm skin my fingertips.

  He pulls away, his shirt disappears over head and he comes back just as quick. His lips touch mine again and he groans into my mouth as I lay my hands flat on his back, relishing the feeling of skin. I reach for the hem of my shirt, needing to feel my skin against his. He leans back, breaking our kiss so I can pull it over head. His hands find my naked breasts and cup them. My nipples morph into tight pebbles underneath the gentle brush of his thumbs. I moan arching against him, pressing my core against his rock hard cock.

  “Hudson,” his name on my lips is a plea and he yields kissing along my jaw line and down my neck. Shockwaves of pleasure radiate under each brush of his lips. “Please…”

  His hot mouth licks and nibbles across the fleshy softness of my breast, searching for the taunt pebble. He takes it into his mouth, sucking hard. I nearly come undone, the fire burning brighter in me than ever.

  “Fuck baby, you’re so sensitive, I bet I can make you come just like this,” he groans. I’m just as surprised by my reaction as he is. Nipple play has never felt this good before, in most cases it was downright painful. With him it was heavenly.

  My thoughts are jumbled. All I can do is feel him touching me, kissing me, licking me but I need more. I hitch my leg around him and arching my back, whimpering with need.

  “Patience little one,” his lips whisper against my hot skin. “We’ll get you there.”

  Chapter 23

  Alice

  “Make love to me Hudson,” I gasp. My body is alive and electric.

  “Precious, I’m going to do more than love you,” his lips move down my torso, stopping at my white cotton panties. “I’m going to worship you. I’m going to make you feel things you never thought possible, leave you writhing and begging for more. Then when you think you can’t take anymore, I’m going to fill you and watch you come apart all over my cock.”

  Holy shit.

  *****

  Hudson

  White cotton panties, hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

  And they were drenched.

  Fuck!

  My hands roam the length of her legs, as I press soft kisses to her belly. Each quiver and shudder of her body adds to the moistness pooling in between her legs.

  “Fuck, precious, I can smell you,” I inhale her, licking under the elastic of her panties, sending a new wave of shudders through her. She was so sensitive to every touch, I couldn’t get enough. “I want to taste you.”

  “Please…” she moans breathlessly, pushing her hips toward me. She didn’t have to ask me twice. Hooking my thumbs under her panties, I pull them slowly off her hips and down her legs. Her sweet scent is stronger now, all Alice. She looks down at me timidly, unsure of what to do.

  “Relax, we won’t do anything you don’t want to,” I reassure her. I shift my body lower, pushing her legs open. Her eyes lock with my mine. I rub my hand across her belly and slowly moving it lower until I touch her wet slit. Her eyes roll back and she groans. I look down, taking in the sight of her. She’s well groomed and her sweet honey is dripping. I touch her lightly, watching her pleasure grow with each caress. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.”

  My thumb brushes her sensitive nub, pressing lightly and she yelps as her entire body lifts off the bed. She’s close. I place my thumb firmly on it and rub in a circular motion. I groan with her, as the pleasure of my touching her washes over both of us. Leaning forward, I press a kiss to her core, lapping at her wetness. She tasted better than I imagined. “Tastiest fucking pussy I’ve ever had.”

  It doesn’t take much before she tenses. Her eyes flutter open and she tries to push me away, the intensity too much for her. I grab her hips, holding her still. “Relax precious, it’s all right.”

  “I’m scared,” she whispers, her eyes turn
glassy.

  “Don’t be, I got you,” I move my hands away, leaning back. Her eyes connect with mine and I know she’s calming. “Do you want to stop?”

  She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. “I’ve never felt these things before, it’s a bit overwhelming.”

  “You’re beautiful baby, do you know that?” I kiss the insides of her thighs, trying to relax her. My hands touch the sensitive skin at the crease of her legs, lightly caressing her there. “Alice, baby, you are fucking perfect. This pussy, fuck, I can’t get enough. I never will. I could eat you all fucking day.”

  She moans, my fingers now teasing her folds. “That’s it Alice, open to me.”

  She spreads her legs wider, giving me better access to her. I delve deeper into her, finding a rhythm as she begins to ride my fingers. I lap at her core, sucking her nub. She tenses again as her body prepares for the explosion. This time she relaxes just enough, giving into it and the waves of pleasure consume her. She groans and it’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard.

  “Alice, give me your eyes,” she looks down at me, the waves crashing harder around her, my name on her lips. She rides my fingers eagerly, milking them with fervor. Fuck, she looked glorious. “Yes, baby, ride my fingers. So fucking hot.”

  Her rhythm slows as her body comes down from the high. She takes a deep breath trying to catch it. Her body is flush from her pleasure. Fucking gorgeous. I smile, proud and honored to be the one to show her exactly what she’s been missing out on.

  “That was amazing,” she returns my smile and shifts to hide her face behind her hands.

  “No, don’t hide,” I move, pulling myself up the length of her body, kissing her nose and then her lips. “You were wonderful.”

  “I didn’t do anything,” she laughs, her smile so fucking big.

  She reaches up and kisses me, full on, tasting herself on my lips. I readied myself to pull away. Very few women like to kiss after I’ve gone down on them but she doesn’t push me away. She devours me.