Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1)

by Douglas, Tracie

Edwards’ eyes meet mine and he nods, “Sure.”

  “Now?” she asks her voice stronger.

  “I know you’re going to want to get home as soon as possible, so yes, if you can,” he waves the officer off. “You can follow me over.”

  *****

  We followed Edwards to the station. Alice sat in the small room with her hand clasped in mine and answered every question they gave her. She confessed to stabbing Erik and she also told them she felt no remorse for her actions. Erik’s security camera recorded everything, his confession and her bravery. Even if he had lived, the police had enough on him he wouldn’t have seen the outside of a jail cell for the rest of his natural born life.

  Turns out they placed a tracking device in some Erik’s personal belongings to track him after he was released and Veronica, his new girl, was an undercover agent placed by Edwards to lure Erik in. The undercover operation kept Edwards away from LA for a time, which is why I hadn’t heard back from him. I was only able to get a hold of Edwards before I boarded my flight to Arizona because of his informant, Veronica, reported Erik missing. The tracking device they had on him had somehow malfunctioned and when Veronica hadn’t been able to get him to visit, they knew something was up. It wasn’t until I called everything fell into place.

  His confession to the other girls had turned out to be a string of cold cases, young runaways who’d left with their boyfriend or fiancé never to be heard from again. That is until today. Their families were being notified and an investigation was being launched to search for any remains. It was Edwards who’d given me Erik’s real name. While nothing came up in the system for his prints or DNA the first time, Edwards’ team was alerted to a few hits later linking his prints to a few other cold cases. The man was a monster.

  My phone chirps in the middle of the interview but I silence the call. Alice turns to me, her eyes clear and vivid, “Hudson, we both know it’s Missy. Please don’t leave her hanging.”

  I nod and leave the room, calling my sister back. I keep it brief and simple, anxious to get back to Alice but when I walked in she was standing in the pit with Edwards with Bear close by, waiting to go. There’s a smile on her face when her eyes meet mine. I want to walk across the room and kiss her senseless but I refrain, needing to get her out of this building and on a plane home. I could kiss her senselessly when she’s safely tucked in next to me in our bed.

  Shit, I swear to myself remembering who’s waiting for her. Telling her about her mother was something I didn’t know how to do but it needed to be done one way or another. I cross the pit to her, slipping my arm around her waist, glaring at the detective. Edwards’ smile vanishes and he shifts uncomfortably.

  “Hudson,” Alice sighs and my dick twitches at the sound. “Is Missy alright?”

  “She’s better,” I nod, meeting her eyes. Fact is my sister was a mess until I assured Alice was in one piece and we’d be home in a few hours. I turn back to the man standing across from us. “We done here?”

  “Far as I’m concerned, self-defense,” he nods, narrowing his eyes on me. “Can we talk a second?”

  “Precious, wait for me with Bear?” she nods and I shoot Bear a glance. He tenses a second before stepping towards us. I didn’t understand his aversion to Alice but I owed him after tonight, without his contact and lead we’d still be in Oregon. I just wish I could’ve gotten here sooner and been the one to kill the son of a bitch myself. I hated that it was Alice who would have to carry his death with her for the rest of her life.

  “Detective, thank you for everything,” Alice moves and hugs him at his waist. His eyes meet mine and he tenses, worried I might throttle him for touching her but she lets go before either of us can react. She turns and leaves the room, Bear follows close behind.

  Edwards places his hand in his hips and smirks, “You’ve got yourself a strong woman there Hudson.”

  “Tell me about it,” I shake my head. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  “I’m concerned how easy it was to find out everything on Erik, we found nothing before today. Whoever was protecting him stopped,” he reaches behind him and hands me a manila folder. I open it, reading the first page. It’s an order to issue Alice a new life under a new alias. “Everything she’ll need to start over is right there, if she wants.”

  “You think this will blow back on her?”

  “Until we can find out who was protecting him, I’m not sure. It’s unclear what Alice knew of his operation. Chances are she knows something and it may not be today or even a year from now, but with that kind of information they might come looking.”

  “How long does she have to make this choice?”

  “The sooner the better,” he offers his hand and I take it, tucking the folder under my arm. “If I can do anything else for her, don’t hesitate to call.”

  “Sure,” I nod and shake his hand. Taking a deep breath, I add this to my growing list of things to tell Alice. I decided no matter what she chose I would be right by her side. Even if it meant walking away from the only life I’ve ever known. She meant that much to me.

  Walking out of the police station I shake off the remaining effects of today. It had been too close a call and I almost lost her. I tried to push the thoughts aside, refusing to obsess over them. I had more important things to worry about. Like taking care of her when everything finally sinks in and she realizes she took a man’s life. I couldn’t tell if she was in shock or if she really was alright, only time would tell. All I could do was wait and hope I was there to soften the blow.

  Chapter 35

  Alice

  I slept the entire flight home. After realizing how tired I was after Hudson gave me a tour of the jet, I laid down on the huge king size bed and passed out cold, only to wake when Hudson carried me to his truck.

  We were down the street from his house when he pulls over to the side of the road. I turn to look at him, confused. He fidgets in his seat, his face pale. I reach over and take his hand, noticing how clammy it is.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask cautiously. Was he having thoughts about bringing me back now that it was over? I didn’t need his protection anymore.

  “I’ve got to talk to you about something,” his voice is concerning but he eyes are on me, drinking me in like he hasn’t seen me in ages. He reaches behind us and pulls out a folder from his bag, handing it to me. “Edwards gave this to me after you left. It’s a new life, a new start. Erik’s associates are well hidden but if they ever feel like you might know something…”

  “I’m done hiding,” I hand the folder back to him without looking at it. “I don’t know anything about them. The only face I ever saw was Erik’s. The others always had a mask on or I was blindfolded.”

  “I’ll tell him,” he tossing the folder into the back and I can’t help feeling proud for making this stand, for taking me back. He still looks worried though with his brow furrowed. “There’s something else I have to tell you.”

  “Okay, what is it?” my voice is calm even though my body feels great unease.

  “I lied to you last night about where I was,” he swallows and tightens his hold on my hand. “I wasn’t in Detroit. I was in Chicago.”

  “What were you doing in Chicago?” my brow crinkles in confusion.

  “I went for you, to see your family,” he explains and I’m stunned for the moment. His eyes search mine for a reaction.

  “I didn’t go home to them because I knew he’d look for me there first,” I whisper softly. He relaxes when my anger doesn’t come. “I didn’t want to put them in danger.”

  “He can’t hurt you or your family anymore,” his voice is filled with understanding. I know he’s right but I’ve lived so long looking over my shoulder, waiting for Erik’s next move. His death hasn’t sunk in yet.

  “I know,” my voice is soft, reflective of my thoughts. I missed my family but the idea of them frightens me. I’m no longer the perfect girl they raised and as much as I wanted to see them, I don’t know how
they would react to the person I am now.

  “Are they here?”

  “You’re mother is,” he says and I nod feeling nervous.

  If my mom was here, that means…

  I feel as though I’m being choked, the weight of the last twenty-four hours bearing down on me. He says something to me but I can’t hear him, it’s as though someone pushed the mute button silencing the world around me. My skin grows warm and my vision blurry. I feel as if my heart’s going to burst out of my chest, it’s pounding so hard. The smell of blood fills my nose, gagging me. I close my eyes and see Erik’s lifeless ones staring back at me, his arm extended towards me, the knife sticking out of his neck. I don’t know how but I’m suddenly in Hudson’s lap, his steely arms wrapped around me, his words murmuring against my hair. The steering wheel is pressed into my hip.

  “Am I a murderer?” my voice is weak, much like the way my body feels.

  “No,” his response is quick and curt.

  “But I killed him.”

  “And if you hadn’t, he would have done the same to you.”

  “I know,” I relax into him, resting my head in the crook of his neck. “When I close my eyes, I see him. I’ve been trying to ignore it, move on, but it’s hard.”

  “It just happened,” he laces his fingers with mine. “You haven’t had the time to process any of this. I can tell you there’s nothing wrong with your feelings and as time goes it will get easier. You have a conscience, something he didn’t have. You had to do it Alice, remember that.”

  “Maybe so, but if I had stalled him for just a few minutes more, you would have made it in time,” I argue and he frowns. Yes, he thought the same thing too.

  “True but there was no guarantee,” he points out. He’s right. There wasn’t a guarantee. Erik was about to strike and I knew I couldn’t let it happen, so I struck first. “It could’ve gone any way if he was desperate enough.”

  “Does my mother know what happened?”

  “She only knows what I’ve told Missy.”

  “Did you tell…”

  “No, I only told her we made it in time and you were safe,” he presses his lips to my hair and breathes deeply. “Would you like to see her?”

  I nod, slipping off his lap back to my spot next to him. He starts the truck and pulls back out on the road. I silently hoped I didn’t let my mother down. I’ve been through so much the last few years and because of Hudson, I’ve been able to push through it to become more than the sheltered girl of my childhood and Erik’s plaything. I wanted my family but I wasn’t sure if they’d want me.

  We pull into the driveway just as my mother steps out of the house. She was waiting for us. Her eyes search the truck but I’m in motion before she sees me, opening the truck door and jumping out of the vehicle. I bound up the stairs to her. Her arms are open wide, waiting for me but I hesitate. The woman standing in front of me might’ve looked like my mom, smiled like my mom but she didn’t act like my mom. My mom didn’t show emotion. Ever.

  “Mom?” I reach up and rub my eyes, unable to trust them completely. My mother, a much older version than I remember, has tears running down her face unchecked and relief in her dark brown eyes. I’ve never seen her like this.

  “Ali,” she breathes, reaching for me. I shake off my stupor and take the last step towards her, throwing myself into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Her arms circle me tightly. We cry, murmuring words of love and disbelief, words I never thought my mother had in her vocabulary. “My dear sweet girl, my baby, my darling...Are you alright?”

  “I’m okay,” I breathe trying to find the words to comfort her. The reality of the moment was so overwhelming but also comforting at the same time. Being in my mother’s arms helps me to briefly forget Erik and his lifeless eyes.

  After what seems like an eternity, I pull back, taking in her face. Growing up, my mother was the exact picture of what my father deemed the perfect woman. Always dressed to the nines in a pencil skirt, button up blouse and four-inch heels. Her hair was always in a slick back bun, and she never left the house without a perfectly made up face. Her signature scent of lavender finished off my father’s illusion.

  This woman, with her arms around me was nothing like the woman I knew. She looked like the mother I always dreamt of having. Her long brown hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail. Her face was free of makeup, a good thing after all the tears we’ve shed. She wore a pair of jeans that complimented her long legs, a plain white shirt that hugged her in the right places and a light blue cardigan for modesty. A pair of white Keds covered her feet. She looked casual and relaxed which was the complete opposite of the mother I knew.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” I gasp for air, she giggles and nods excitedly. “You look so different.”

  “As do you, sweet girl,” she breathes, pulling me in for another tight hug. “You are more beautiful than I remember.”

  I choke back my tears, it was the first compliment given to me by my mother in, well, ever. I felt the genuine emotion behind it and knew without a doubt, my worry of acceptance was all for nothing.

  “Where’s Daddy?” I ask sobering up, my tear streaked face looking around for any sign of him. My mother tenses, her eyes fill with sadness. My mouth feels dry and it’s hard to swallow. He wasn’t here. “How did it happen?”

  “His heart,” her voice is thick and sad. “He tried to hang on for as long as he could but his heart just wasn’t strong enough.”

  “How long?”

  “Three years, last month.”

  My father and I never saw eye to eye, which is why going away to Juilliard had been such a fight. It wasn’t that my parents believed me immature for my age, but rather my father wasn’t ready to let me out from underneath his thumb. He was a man who liked to be in control. Nothing like my grandfather, who I absolutely adored since the day I was born. My father was who he was and while I’m sad I didn’t get to say goodbye to him or even hug him one last time, I felt relief at the knowledge of his passing. Maybe that’s why my mother looked so casual different.

  “Grandfather?” I’m almost afraid to ask but I need to know.

  “He’s better,” she nods, her eyebrows high with concern. “We had to put him in a special care facility though.”

  My stomach drops, “What happened?”

  “After your father’s first heart attack, we found your grandfather on the floor of his bathroom,” she takes a shaky breath and continues. “It was a stroke.”

  “I’m sorry,” the apology was like word vomit because I all of a sudden felt guilty. Was it my fault the two strongest men in my family crumbled? I couldn’t help thinking if I hadn’t run off with Erik all those years ago, maybe my father wouldn’t have had a heart attack in the first place and just maybe my grandfather wouldn’t have had a stroke.

  “Sorry for what?” my mother asks, her brow furrowed.

  “It’s my fault,” I shrug casting my eyes down.

  “Oh, sweet girl, no it isn’t,” she pulls me in for another tight hug.

  “If I hadn’t run off with Erik...”

  “Stop it,” she cuts me off, her voice stern. “Your father didn’t take care of himself Alice. He never did. He always put the music first. I didn’t know at the time but he was sick and he had been for a long time.”

  “He knew he was sick?”

  “Yes,” she leans back and cups my cheek. “None of this is your fault. Even if you hadn’t gone off on your own, your father would have had the attack. It was too late to do anything about it because there was too much damage done. Short of a heart transplant, which he refused, he would’ve died anyways.”

  “And grandfather, was he sick too?”

  “No, but you weren’t the cause of that either,” she lets go of me and steps back. She takes my hand and pulls me to the porch swing. We sit. “We can discuss this another day, right now I just want to be here with you.”

  I sit, watching her, seeing the real her for the first time in my
life. She was beautiful and strong, much stronger than I ever knew before. Her words have frozen me though. I wanted to be here with her too and it scared me.

  “I know I was a piece of shit mother Alice,” she says the words so easily, like she had practiced them a hundred times but they were honest. “I made a lot of mistakes in my life but you have to know you are my greatest achievement. I should have told you this long ago and I’m sorry I never did. We never stopped looking for you, Alice. Even after your father’s death. Every extra dime we had went towards our search.”

  I gasp, feeling for the first time in my life loved by my parents. My disappearance obviously changed them and while there were bad times in our lives, this moment now was groundbreaking. I felt peace in my heart.

  “Do you think we can try again?” my mother’s question pulls me out of my thoughts.

  “Try what?”

  “Being a family, the right way,” her eyes burned hopefully and I could see the desperation to make up for lost time. She really wanted this, wanted me. My heart ached a bit reminding me of the pain she put me through all those years ago. I push it aside and I think about the life lessons I’ve experienced, reminding myself of the vow I made many years ago. I wanted this chance too.

  “I’m not the same girl anymore but I think you know that,” I smile and reach over to pull her into a hug. “I’d like to try again.”

  She sobbed as the emotion pour over us. Yes, today was groundbreaking and I had one man in particular to thank for it. I’d also decided to forgive for his little lie because it did something good. It brought me back to my mother.

  “Let’s go inside and get some coffee,” I chuckle. “I’m sure Hudson is having a bitch of a time keeping Missy inside.”

  The front door opens and Missy comes out, a smile on her face, as if she was waiting for her cue. “Damn straight he is, now get your little butt in here so you can put these wannabe badasses at ease. I’m not the only one Hudson’s been trying to hold back.”

  “Sweetheart, ain’t nothing wannabe about me, it’s just what I am,” King laughs standing at the door. Missy smacks his chest as she walks by.