Simply Irresistible

by P. G. Van

  She never expected to have such an effect from being away from Yash when she had known him for only a few months. She was angry, and she would probably slap him if he were to show up, but more than the anger, it was hurtful. His words were spears of pain as he shot them her way. She wasn't proud of what she said to him, but she had no way to contain her emotions.

  She looked at her phone and realized she was scheduled to see Sona and Gaurav at the clinic later that day. She wasn't sure if Sona knew what happened over the weekend between Yash and her. She chose not to address it even if his sister were to bring it up. She looked at the ceiling tempted to call in sick as her body refused to move.

  “No,” she said out loud like she needed to hear her words. “Do not let a prick interfere with your work.”

  She showered at rocket speed and left the apartment like she was in a big hurry. She stopped at a coffee shop to clear her head a little and sipped her coffee watching the morning commuters come in and out of the coffee shop.

  Her back stiffened when her phone beeped. She didn't want to look at it. She wouldn't know what to do if it were Yash, and she knew she would be a mess if it weren't him. The past couple of days a random message would hit her phone, and she was a total mess.

  What did she expect him to do? Apologize?

  With trembling fingers, she pulled out her phone and had mixed feelings when she saw it was her sister.

  Sloka: I haven’t heard from you in days… you busy?

  Sloka: I have been busy. :)

  Mantra smiled feeling happy for her sister.

  Mantra: I'm glad you are busy.

  Sloka: I love you for doing this. I'm sure it was weird for you.

  Mantra: Not too weird.

  Sloka: My husband is a different person now.

  Mantra's eyes burned as she fought tears.

  Why was she so miserable? He is just another asshole.

  Sloka: How’s your boyfriend?

  Mantra: Not my boyfriend.

  Sloka: Hey… everything all right?

  Mantra: No.

  Mantra typed on instinct and cursed under her breath. She had no intention of sharing her state of daze with anyone.

  Sloka: Where are you? At work?

  Mantra: No… on my way. Stopped to get coffee.

  Sloka: Send me your location and stay put.

  Mantra: Sloka, I am about to leave.

  Sloka's name flashed on the phone, and Mantra rolled her eyes and answered it. “Sloka, I'm almost out of the door.

  “I kid you not… if you don’t have your butt plastered in that coffee shop, you are dead meat.”

  Mantra let out a sigh. “Fine, I'll be here. I'm in the coffee shop on Embarcadero and California.”

  “I'll be there in five. Stay put.”

  “Fine.”

  “Order a large mocha for me,” her sister ordered making her smile. It was her sister's way of keeping Mantra occupied.

  “You got it.”

  She texted the receptionist and the doctor at the clinic to let them know she was running late. Mantra ordered her sister's drink and started reading the responses to the questionnaire that was sent to Sona. She was reading through the questions when she heard someone enter loudly. She didn’t have to look up to know it was her sister.

  “Mantra, what is wrong?”

  “Sloka… I was just feeling a bit sick this morning.”

  “Stop lying through your teeth. Rajeev told me Yash looked like he was hung over when they went to the site visit the other day. I just assumed you guys had a fun night. What happened?”

  “We… we had an argument.”

  “Oh my God… did you guys break up?” Sloka looked devastated.

  Mantra's heart sank when she heard her sister's words. She was angry with Yash. He said mean things to her, but was she ready to walk away from what they had? The answer was no. The process of arriving at the answer surprisingly gave her relief.

  ““No, we did not break up… just angry with each other.”

  “And you were hiding this from me? Did you think I was going to get all the help from you and not bet there for you when you need me?” Sloka put an arm around Mantra, and that triggered the floodgates to burst open. Mantra clung to her sister as the tears dampened her sister's top.

  “Mantra, stop it… you are not allowed to cry. I am the designated crybaby of the family.” Her sister laughed wiping off Mantra's cheeks.

  “He is an asshole, and I hate him, but I still want him,” Mantra grumbled.

  “Aww… my baby sister is in love,” Sloka cooed.

  “Sloka,” Mantra growled under her breath.

  “What else do you think this is? Do you remember how you were the moment you broke up with your ex?”

  “Don’t talk about him. He is a moron.”

  “You just said Yash is an asshole, but you still want him,” Sloka said playfully.

  “I do… I still want that asshole.” Mantra ran her fingers through her hair.

  “Not a therapist like my sister, but all I can say is give him some space and then go get him back,” Sloka said wiping the moisture from her baby sister’s cheek. “He is equally miserable from what Rajeev tells me.”

  Chapter 29

  Mantra made it to work almost an hour later than her usual time. She had a few clients to meet that morning, and her entire afternoon was blocked for her to talk to Sona and Gaurav.

  Mantra spent time looking at their online profiles and made notes about each of them. She marked the milestones in their lives and took note of everything she found of significance from the questionnaire and also from the web about their jobs and families.

  She was in her office when the doctor’s medical assistant came in to let her know that Sona and Gaurav were waiting for her.

  “Thank you.” Mantra smiled at the woman and walked to the lobby to meet them. Her morning was busy, and she hadn’t thought of Yash, but as soon as she saw Sona, she saw the similar eyes and her heart wrenched in her chest.

  “Sona, Gaurav… good to see you. This way please.” She tried not to look into Sona’s eyes.

  “Mantra, we are very nervous.” Sona held her husband’s hand as they sat next to each other.

  “There is nothing to feel nervous about… just talk to me. I’ll start with a series of questions, and I want you to give me your most honest answer.” Mantra looked down at her notes as she talked.

  “Mantra, are you okay?” Sona inquired.

  Was she so transparent?

  “I’m fine… just a little tired,” Mantra managed to say.

  “What have you and Yash been up to? He showed up yesterday and said he wanted to have lunch with me, and oh my God, he looked pathetic.”

  Mantra took a deep breath. “Sona, no distractions.”

  “Sorry, I’ll focus.”

  Mantra walked them through the series of questions and finally started talking about past relationships they had. They both had bad breakups in college and stayed away from commitments for a long time before they met each other, and everything seemed normal.

  “Sona and Gaurav, you two are perfect for each other, so perfect you figured out a way to work through the biggest challenge in your marriage,” Mantra stated looking through the notes.

  “What does that mean?” Sona looked horrified.

  “It just means, I need more than the information I was able to gather about you so far.”

  “What more information do you need?”

  “I need to talk you two individually… not this afternoon, but we need to set up more time,” Mantra stated calmly.

  “What does that mean… won’t we be able to be a normal couple?” Sona started to panic.

  “Sona… easy.” Gaurav stroked her back as she hid her face in her hands.

  “Sona…” Mantra called out, an idea sparking in her head.

  Sona looked up at Mantra, her eyes brimming with tears.

  “When was the last time you kissed… not the peck on the che
ek or the brush of the lips. A real kiss.” Mantra’s voice was steady as she looked at the couple.

  “We kiss all the time,” Sona shrugged, but Gaurav shook his head.

  “Sona… she is talking about an intimate moment, not a casual kiss.” Gaurav sounded solemn.

  “It’s okay, that’s why we are here. There are no cameras, so it’s safe.” Mantra stood up and cleared out the pillows from the lounge on one side of the room.

  Sona gasped. “What are we doing now?”

  Mantra laughed realizing why Sona was horrified. “Not what you think… you two are going to kiss. I am going to coach you.”

  “Seriously?’

  “Yes, I’m a therapist… come stand here, Sona.” Mantra directed Gaurav and Sona to stand a few inches away from each other with their fingers interlaced.

  “Now… don’t let your hands go, keep your hands together and kiss.”

  “What?” Sona looked confused.

  “Sona… let’s try it, baby,” Gaurav encouraged.

  “Okay…” Sona sounded weak as she held her husband’s hands and closed her eyes.

  “Gaurav.” Mantra gestured for him to go ahead. “Forget I’m here.”

  “Sweetheart, it’s just us… there is no one else here,” Gaurav said softly as he leaned closer to her. Mantra took a step back to reach for her notepad. She watched as Gaurav tentatively rubbed his cheek to her cheek.

  Mantra wrote notes as the man who was madly in love with his wife tried to get her to feel comfortable about kissing in front of a therapist.

  “Mantra is here to help us, baby, relax,” Gaurav whispered and very slowly moved his lips to brush over his wife’s lips.

  Mantra shifted her attention to Sona and could see something was off. It wasn’t just the embarrassment of being watched by someone but something else. She saw a sliver of fear and a lot of uneasiness in her stance.

  “Gaurav… hang on.” Mantra knew Sona was under duress and pain, and she was enduring it.

  Gaurav took a step back and looked at Mantra, confused.

  “We need a new…” Her voice trailed off when Gaurav’s phone started to go off.

  He cursed and excused himself. Mantra watched him step out of the room in the lobby before looking at Sona.

  “Sona, this is a safe zone. Does Gaurav hurt you in any way?”

  “No… he doesn’t.” She sounded offended.

  “What are you scared of then?”

  “Scared? What do you mean?” Sona shook her head.

  “We will find out as we have more sessions, but for now, I have some homework for you… because you are the one sucking at being a good partner when it comes to intimacy.”

  “You are nothing like the marriage counselor we saw last year.”

  Mantra laughed. “Yes, that’s because I’m only halfway there to being a licensed therapist.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t do well today, hopefully… I’ll do better next time.”

  “Sona, you and Gaurav walking into this clinic was a huge step. Molly at the front desk will help set up your next appointment.”

  Sona hugged her making it overwhelm Mantra. Given where she was with Yash, it felt very odd that she was building a relationship with Sona.

  “What? Done already?” Gaurav teased.

  “Sending her home with some homework,” Mantra retorted.

  “Seriously?”

  “Next time you both will get homework.” Mantra smiled following them to the lobby.

  *****

  Later that day, she debated if she should go to The Red Room or skip it like she had the past few days. She couldn’t bear looking at Yash, at least not yet.

  Mantra sat at her desk documenting the appointment and her comments for the doctor when she heard the overly familiar roar of an engine. It was more of a rumble that started a drumming in her heart.

  She cursed under her breath when she realized something as small as a sports car sound was making her miserable. How was she going to deal with the situation? It felt like all her lectures, studies, and thesis didn’t apply to her nor would they help her.

  Mantra continued to type until she heard the door open, and Sona stood in the doorway, her eyes puffy and red.

  “Sona, what’s wrong?” Mantra got up from her chair and walked over to where Sona stood frozen.

  It wasn’t until Sona opened the door wider did Mantra notice Yash standing behind her, his face held anger. She took in his expression for a moment longer and then shifted her attention to Sona.

  “I know what happened.” Sona wept.

  “What happened?” Mantra demanded, and when Sona wouldn’t stop weeping, she looked at Yash. “What happened to her?”

  Yash looked at Mantra like her tone surprised him. “She was fine ten minutes ago, and then she wanted me to drive her here.”

  “Call Gaurav. We need him here,” Mantra said calmly.

  “No, he can’t know… he will be…” Sona pleaded.

  “Sona, look at me,” Mantra asked softly kneeling next to the sofa.

  Sona lifted her tear-filled eyes and looked at Mantra. “I know why, and I don’t know how to fix this.”

  “Talk to me, Sona. You know you can tell me anything.”

  Sona shook her head.

  Mantra looked at Yash. “Can you please wait outside for Gaurav?”

  Yash looked shocked, but he didn’t object.

  “No, Yash. Don’t call Gaurav until I talk to Mantra.” Sona cried.

  “Why did you ask me about… Nathan?” Sona stuttered.

  “Your ex? It’s part of the standard questionnaire.”

  “I… I can’t be intimate with Gaurav anymore because Gaurav reminds me of Nathan.”

  “Oh, I thought it was me, but the chin, the cleft, very similar,” Mantra observed remembering the picture she saw online of the man during her research.

  Sona nodded but did not say anything.

  “You had a pretty clean break up. I don’t see how he would make this difficult unless…”

  Sona did not let her finish. “He molested me. He raped me in college.”

  “What?” Mantra almost dropped to the floor.

  “I still remember how he sweet-talked me into it. He took me to an isolated cottage and told me I had to do it. It was painful… he held my hands down. I was so convinced it was okay that I stayed in the relationship with him for a few years after that.” Sona sobbed.

  Mantra put her arms around Sona. “You have a loving husband, and just because he has a few similar features, it doesn’t mean he is going to hurt you.”

  “I know… but…”

  “What changed two years ago?” Mantra gave Sona the box of tissues.

  “Gaurav always sported either a full beard or a stubble from the time we met, and he did until two years ago and… I just could not believe his shaving his beard started all this.”

  “Sona, This is very good progress. I’m so happy we were able to talk.” Mantra smiled.

  “Thank you.”

  “I want you to collect yourself while I go get you something to drink.” Mantra walked away from Sona, her heart thudding. She was going to face Yash.

  He was standing in the lobby, his back to her looking out of the large window. He turned even before she could say his name.

  “What is she doing here?” he asked walking toward Mantra.

  “I am not allowed to discuss it. You will need to talk to Sona.”

  “She is my sister. I have every right to know.” He held her by her arm.

  Mantra looked down at her arm with his fingers digging into her flesh and looked back at him. As if that was a sign, he let her go and took a step back.

  “Yash, take her home. Do not ask her questions. Listen to her if she wants to talk and do not leave her alone at home. Make sure Gaurav is with her before you leave,” Mantra instructed and saw the lines of worry creep up on his face. She filled a cup with water and turned to look at him.

  “She’ll be fine, but
she needs support,” Mantra stated softly.

  “What is going on? Why is she here?” Yash repeated.

  “Mr. Birla, like I said, I’m not at the liberty to discuss why she is here.” Mantra maintained a calm tone. He gave her a stare down before walking into her office for Sona.

  She felt her heart rip to pieces.

  Chapter 30

  Mantra was miserable and had spent a week feeling that way. She was angry with Yash for talking to her the way he did, but she finally decided to talk to him to understand his behavior and explain hers to him. It didn’t take her long to realize something about his parents triggered Yash’s anger.

  It was Saturday morning, and it was pouring outside. The clock on the nightstand showed a few minutes after four. She had spent all night tossing unable to sleep just like the past few nights.

  She rolled out of bed and took a shower, and when that didn’t help clear her head, she pulled out her running shoes and her rain jacket.

  Mantra was about to step out of the apartment when Samar walked in fully drenched.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Samar said.

  “I need to go for a run. I’m going nuts.”

  “You know it’s not your fault. Why are you fretting about it?”

  “I want him, Samar, and I don’t care who was at fault. I can’t walk away from him.”

  “Seriously?” Samar shook her head.

  “I am going to go talk to him later today… but before that, I need to shake this miserable feeling I have…”

  “You are so messed up.”

  “I love him, Samar, and I’m not letting this fall apart over a silly argument.”

  Samar smiled and put her arms around her. “You’ve lost it.”

  “I know, thank you!”

  Mantra pulled her hood over her head and went to her car. She needed to go to her favorite running spot that morning—any other location wouldn’t cut it.

  The rain was coming down in torrents as she drove up the small hill to the running trail. She knew the track would be in bad condition, but she needed to get away.

  The soil was soft and mushy when she stepped out of the car. She pulled her hood closer and decided against running. She took a deep breath and walked down the trail.