Piece by Piece

by Tucker, RH

  “Earth to Sasha.” Ian waves his hand in front of me, before taking a sip of his water.

  I scan the area, looking for an order ticket. “Sorry, we get an order finally?”

  “Nope, still dead as a doornail.”

  His use of the word dead takes me back to Taylor, and I frown in thought again.

  “Hey, you okay? You’ve been out of it all night.”

  “Yeah.” I nod and turn over to the sink. “I just got this stuff going on with …” I glance over at him, unsure if I should continue.

  As much as Rita, Manny, Ian, and I all joke around, I only really get into personal things with Rita. And even then, it’s never been something so personal that I’d want it to stay private. And Ian himself never really talks about his own life with me. I don’t know if he does with Manny or not.

  “Never mind.”

  “It’s cool,” he says, standing next to me and grabbing the pan I was cleaning to place it on the rack. “But I’m a pretty good listener if you ever need someone to talk to.”

  “Thanks, Ian.” I give him a smile. “It’s about Taylor though, so I’m not sure if you’d be okay with that.”

  “Oh.” He bites his bottom lip, looking away for a moment. “Well, yeah, that might be awkward.”

  I let out a chuckle. “I know. Guys apparently don’t like to talk about their feelings much.”

  “Oh, no. Not because of that.” Looking over at him to ask him what he means, his gaze meets mine, and a quietness falls around us. His eyes float down to my lips before reconnecting with mine, and I see a shy smirk on him. Before I can try to decipher any of the quiet that’s fallen over us, the door opens, and Manny barks at us.

  “Yo, Romeo! You get dish duty, and your girl is off early, seeing as how we’re losing money with both of you guys here and not a soul in the lobby. You’re out of here, Sasha.”

  I’m used to Manny’s barbs and jokes, but this time it feels different. And as I let out a small laugh, making light of the situation and comment, I see a crimson color splash across Ian’s neck and up his face.

  “Yeah, that’s fine with me,” I call back, and start to unbutton my black chef jacket, heading to the locker.

  Before I can walk past Ian, he grabs my arm. “Sasha, seriously, if you want to talk, you got my number. Feel free, okay? Even if it is about some guy. I’ll be more than happy to tell you how much better off you are without some idiot who doesn’t know how great you are.”

  Biting his lip, his face is still flushed. The compliment is endearing, but I feel like he’s trying to say more and I’m not exactly sure how to respond. So, I laugh it off, and lightly punch his shoulder.

  “Thanks, Ian. You could use a little work, but I won’t tell anyone.”

  He smiles back. “Thanks.”

  Changing out of my jacket, I get in my car, hit a fast food drive-thru for a large chocolate shake and a large order of fries, and proceed to Netflix the rest of the night, still simmering over everything that happened. My only solace is the salty-sweet yumminess of dipping my French fries in my frozen chocolate treat.

  Chapter 24

  Taylor

  I follow Ethan into the second bedroom of his apartment, where he sets down the cardboard box he’s carrying. Setting mine down, I take a seat on the small twin bed, that no doubt my feet are going to hang off of, and shake my head at myself and the prideful attitude I have when one of my only friends is graciously giving me a place to live.

  “E, seriously, I’m totally fine with sleeping on the couch. I can’t take Ashley’s room.”

  “Shut up already,” he says with a laugh. “She stays here a few nights a week, it’ll be fine. She crawls into my bed in the morning all of the time anyway.”

  I nod with a chuckle. “Okay. Thanks again, man. This is a nice place, how are you staying okay not at the gym anymore?”

  “Well, I’m still pulling shifts at the pub down on forty-second. Plus, I started doing the Uber thing.”

  I shake my head, cracking a knuckle. “Damn, what the hell is Calvin’s issue?”

  “Calm down.”

  “How can you say that? You’ve got a kid, dude. If I were you, I’d be freaking out even more than I am now.”

  “Speaking of Cal, he wants to go out tonight.”

  I get off the bed. “Seriously? He wants to just hang out after everything? What the hell?”

  “Relax. You’ve seemed on edge all day long. What’s going on?”

  Lightly kicking at one of the boxes, I pull out my phone, checking for any text messages. She hasn’t messaged me since I told her off and kicked her out. Why would she? She has no reason to, and as a matter of fact, I gave her a really huge reason not to. But I still want her to.

  “Oh, yeah.” He slaps my shoulder, laughing. “We’re going out tonight. You need to let off some steam. Come on,” he calls, walking out of the room, toward his kitchen. “I’ve got some cold pizza in the fridge.”

  Taking a bottle of water, I lean against his counter. “So, bartending at the pub, Uber, and you’re working with your clients, too?” He nods. “That’s crazy.”

  He takes a bite of his pizza. “The Uber thing is just when I’ve got free time, but it’s nice to have it. The bar is part-time, and it’s usually late, so that’s not that big of a deal. I got some gift certificates from the manager yesterday, so that’s where we’re headed.”

  “All right. Cool.” Taking another drink of the cold water, I let out a long breath.

  “Okay, seriously, man. What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing. I’m all good.”

  I know he doesn’t believe me by the side-eye he gives me, taking another bite of his pizza, but I’m thankful that he doesn’t call me on it again. Maybe tonight is what I need. Just let loose, forget about dropping my classes, and try to rinse Sasha out of my system. The thing is, I don’t want to rinse her out.

  * * *

  I’m not all good.

  I unpacked the few boxes I have, leaving a lot of my larger things in storage. Heading to the pub, I follow behind Ethan on my bike and pull into the parking lot. I haven’t been to Chevy’s in a while, and since that was usually mine and Micah’s hangout, I haven’t really wanted to. Neil’s Pub is kind of like Chevy’s, but a little smaller—only one pool table, and a karaoke stage in the corner.

  Calvin is already sitting at a table when we get there and waves us over. That’s when I see Becky.

  “Hey, you didn’t say Becky was going to be here.” I tap Ethan’s shoulder as we walk over to them.

  “I didn’t know. Cal said he was bringing some girls, but he didn’t say who.”

  Becky lights up when I see her, and I immediately think of Micah and Ethan’s past words. She does like me. This is not good.

  “Taylor, I’ve missed you.” She gets up from her chair, hugging me. “The gym isn’t the same without you.”

  “Aw, you’ll find someone to replace me soon enough,” I reply, trying to match her smile.

  “That’s not true,” she responds with a giggle. “I think I like you too much now.”

  This really isn’t good.

  The night goes by as we shoot a couple of games of billiards. Trying to keep our own conversations, Becky’s been nothing but patient and genuine, and I can definitely see a difference from the times we’ve gone out in the past.

  When we hooked up before I was dealing with Party Girl Becky. Tonight, it’s Relationship Becky. And it’s not even that she’s trying hard to impress me, it’s just a subtle difference. She’s attentive. Flirty without being overboard. And worst of all, she seems genuinely interested in me and getting to know me. It makes me feel horrible.

  Becky isn’t only sweet enough, but she’s gorgeous. Blonde hair, light brown eyes, and even though she’s always at the gym, she’s not all muscles. She’s in shape, don’t get me wrong, but it’s like she’s just on the cusp of showing muscles with still a softness to her.

  If I was a bystander looking o
n, she’s doing everything right. But I feel like an ass because the more the night has gone on, the more I realize I’d rather be with Sasha. Then I reprimand myself again, knowing I shouldn’t think that because how am I supposed to keep Reese in my life if I want to be with Sasha?

  Damn, Taylor, you are one screwed up individual.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Becky asks, interrupting my thoughts.

  I can’t do this. Not to her and not to Sasha. And above all, I can’t do any of this to Reese.

  I’m about to answer her when a new voice comes from behind. “Oh, he’s fine.”

  I turn around to find Felicia standing there with an annoyed, curling lip, rolling her eyes at me. “But he’s a dog, just FYI. And by his own admission an asshole, so you should think twice, girl.”

  Without waiting, she swivels on her heels and leaves.

  “Who was that?” Becky asks.

  “Damn it,” I hiss out and watch Felicia head toward the exit. Turning to Becky, I see she’s waiting with an honest, concerned face. “Becky, I’m sorry. I can’t do this. She’s right, I’m an asshole.” Glancing back over my shoulder, I see Felicia walk out of the building. “Sorry, I gotta go,” I tell Becky, not waiting for a response, and go after Felicia.

  “Hey, hold up.”

  “Get the hell away from me,” she calls back. “And don’t talk to my sister anymore, dirtbag.”

  “Felicia, I wasn’t even doing anything.”

  Stopping, she spins around, and I almost crash into her before regaining my balance. “I don’t care if you were or you weren’t. She likes you, asshole. Like, really likes you, and not only did you yell at her and tell her to get the hell out of your apartment, now you’re out with some other girl.”

  “She told you about that?”

  “Of course!” Throwing her hands into the air, she scoffs. “I don’t know what kind of dirty little secrets you’re trying to keep to yourself, but she just wants to be there for you. And stupid me, I’m one of the ones that egged her on in the first place, telling her friends with benefits might just be the thing she needs. So, yeah, I’m partially to blame for this, but you’re a piece of trash. She’s falling for you, and you treat her like just another girl.”

  “She’s not just another girl!” I yell at her. “But I don’t know how to be what she wants anymore. Hell, I don’t know how to be what I want.”

  She shakes her head at me, her hair brushing the tops of her shoulders. “What does that even mean? Taylor, if you like her, it’s not some great mystery. Be with her. She’s not asking for a ring, she just wants someone she can trust. And I don’t know why, but she wants that to be you.”

  There’s nothing I can respond with. I want to be with someone I can trust, too. Unfortunately, I messed everything up last time. And even if I could figure out how to be that person again, that means I’d be with Sasha. I’d have to give up Reese. I don’t know if I can do that.

  I watch Felicia get in her black Ford Explorer and drive away.

  “Catch and release?”

  Turning around, I see Calvin looking in Felicia’s direction. “What?”

  “You guys hit a quickie or you about to follow her right now?”

  My jaw drops and my fists clench. “Screw you, dickhead!”

  “What?” He jerks his head back.

  “Hey, what are you guys doing out here?” Ethan sticks his head out from behind the door.

  Ignoring him, I step to Calvin, putting a finger in his face. “I was just about to leave. I’m about to be sick.”

  “Whoa, are you serious?” Calvin shouts back. “Yeah, because I’m so far off.”

  “You think you know me because I’ve gone out with you a couple of times? You don’t know shit, Calvin, so don’t act like you do.”

  “Oh, yeah, Mr. Mysterious? You ain’t that hard to figure out. You like to hit it and quit it, and you’re just like me.”

  “I’m nothing like you. I don’t lie to my friends.”

  “First, you have friends? I thought you punked out Micah’s ass when he moved?”

  “Shut up!”

  “And secondly, you’re exactly like me when I was your age. Just in it for the ass and a paycheck. Don’t try to play a player, Taylor.”

  Ethan gets between us, putting a hand against my chest. “Hey, calm down, guys.”

  “Yeah, when you were my age, right?” I yell back at him, struggling against Ethan. “And what the hell are you doing now, Calvin? Still living at your parents’, taking handouts, having your mommy do your laundry. And your gym is never going to open.”

  “Kiss my ass!” he yells back. “My gym will open! Just because I’m not working on your timeline doesn’t—”

  “I quit my job, asshole! What the hell am I supposed to do?”

  “Don’t put that shit on me. You quit because you got your panties in a bunch because of some stupid day you couldn’t get off.”

  I snap and push Ethan out of the way, lunging at Calvin, and we both tumble to the ground. I throw a quick punch, nailing him in the ribs. He rolls to the side and throws his elbow at me, catching me in the lip. Ethan grabs at my arm, trying to pull me away, and Calvin throws a kick, connecting with the side of my leg.

  Scurrying to his feet, Calvin stares daggers at me, while I seethe behind Ethan.

  “Screw this, I’m out of here.” Calvin turns around and heads into the parking lot. “And don’t bother hitting me up for a job, jackass,” he calls over his shoulder.

  “Dude, what in the hell?” Ethan yells at me, holding me at a distance.

  “Forget it.”

  Moving past him, I head back to my bike and take off down the road.

  I don’t have a destination in mind, but I end up driving past the apartment complex where Sasha and Felicia live. Letting out an annoyed grunt at myself, I speed by, and my subconscious retakes control, as I find myself driving into the neighborhood where Micah’s parents live. Slowing down in front of his house, I see his truck parked out front, but again, I don’t stop. Finally heading back to my new home, I approach the apartment only to find the door locked. Ethan hasn’t made me a key yet. Thoroughly embarrassed over everything now, I knock at the door.

  “Hey,” he says, opening the door. I give him a quick head nod and walk past him, fine with heading to my room, but evidently, he has other plans. “Hold on.”

  “Seriously, man. I’m not in the mood.”

  “Well, are you in the mood to move out?” His words stop me in my tracks, and I turn to stare at him. “Relax, I’m not kicking you out. Yet.”

  “Thanks?”

  Leaning against the wall, he folds his arms, staring at me. I’m not sure what this is. A big brother kind of talk? He’s a dad, so even though he’s only a couple of years older than me, maybe he’s trying to pull the dad card. Or perhaps he’s more serious than he’s letting on and is really thinking about kicking me out.

  “I haven’t known you that long, Taylor, but you’ve always seemed pretty cool. Easy going and just like to have fun.” I nod, focusing on the white-tiled floor. “So tell me, what’s changed?”

  “Nothing’s changed. It’s like you said, you haven’t known me that long. This is just how I am.”

  “I hit up Micah, asked him if he wanted to meet up tonight, too.” I roll my eyes at his comment, knowing the direction this is going. “He said he was busy. Then he asked if you were okay. Not how you were, or to tell you ‘what’s up,’ but if you were okay.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “So, he’s your best friend. Or, at least, he was. Why’s he asking if you’re okay?”

  “Because Micah’s a good friend.” I take a deep breath, wanting to just disappear into my new room, blocking everything out. “Ethan, if you don’t want me here, just give me a couple of days. I didn’t want to, but I’ll call my parents and go back home. It looks like my employment opportunity just went to hell anyway.”

  “Taylor, it’s not that. You can stay here as long as you need.
I just don’t know if you’re a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode because of some crazy stuff going on in your life. And not to sound like an overprotective father, but that’s kind of what I am now.”

  “I get it. I do,” I say, finally meeting his eyes. “And I appreciate your help. Seriously. I’ve just …” Taking another long breath, I scan the tiles of the floor, hoping to find answers for questions I’ve lived with for years now. “I feel like I keep messing everything up. For years now, and I try to play it off, but it seems to catch up.”

  “How so?”

  “How so …” I repeat, letting out an annoyed chuckle at myself. “Sucker punching Micah. Telling Sasha to get the hell out of my life. I push people away and make them feel like it’s their fault when I know it’s my own.” I take another deep breath. “And this is all happening so close to when my life shattered into a million pieces back in high school and … and …”

  “Hey.” He reaches over and grabs my shoulder. “I get it.”

  “No, man. You seriously don’t. I screwed everything up, and I just keep screwing everything up.”

  A long pause rests between us. I stare aimlessly at the counter in front of me, feeling lost, and yet a little at ease. This is the first time in I don’t know how long that I’ve talked to someone honestly. I haven’t told him everything, but it’s enough that I wish I’d say more. But I don’t.

  “We all have our own mountains to climb. I don’t know what you went through, Taylor, but I know what I went through. It’s difficult trying to learn to be a dad one month after graduating high school. And I wasn’t going to be anything like the father I had, which was nonexistent, so I made it happen. But I had and still have people in my life I can count on. People I can trust. I don’t know what you’re dealing with, but if you need to talk, feel free to reach out to me. Go make amends with Micah. Reach out to Sasha. Do something, man, because bottling it up like you’re doing is only going to lead to you hating yourself and hating people around you. You don’t want to live like that.”