Lily's War

by Shirley Mann

  One evening, as Lily was coming out of the control tower after a gruelling shift, Glad was waiting for her. She looked very important.

  ‘I just wanted to warn yous, you’ll be called in to the gaffer any minute now. Just keep yourself calm. Can’t say any more – must go.’ And like a spy, she scurried off towards the office block, winking at Lily as she turned to go.

  Lily shook her head. She had given up questioning anything.

  A shout came across the yard.

  ‘Mullins, report to the CO, NOW!’

  Lily acknowledged the Corporal’s demand and went at a brisk trot to the CO’s. She knocked hesitantly at the door.

  ‘Enter.’

  The CO was sitting at his desk, his fingers rifling through a pile of papers. Standing at the side of the desk was a Wing Commander.

  ‘LACW, this is Wing Commander Hill, he has very kindly intervened on your behalf and found out some information from one of the office clerks that means you are no longer under suspicion.’

  Lily stopped mid-salute and looked inquiringly at the tall, imposing man in front of her, completely bemused.

  ‘The revelations were corroborated by my niece, with whom I believe you are acquainted and she confirmed details of Sergeant Horrocks’s unfair treatment of you so I decided to take it on myself to investigate,’ the man said.

  Lily’s brain took a moment to function. His niece? She realised he was talking about Marion and reeled. It was like spilling a hot coffee on her chest. She panicked for a moment, wondering what Marion had in store for her now.

  He continued, completely unaware of her but obviously impressed with his own efforts.

  ‘We took some time to discover the cause of her enmity but then tracked down a nurse who bears an uncanny resemblance to you—’ at this, he stopped and for the first time, looked at her properly, peering down at her from his great height.

  ‘Well, yes, I can see that. This nurse apparently had some dealings with Sergeant Horrocks’s fiancé three years ago which caused the relationship between the young man and the sergeant to founder and, in fact, Nurse Betty Holmes has now married him. The similarity between you and the nurse meant Sergeant Horrocks mounted a hate campaign against you, made worse by your skills in mimicking her, I believe.’

  Lily thought back to the scene at the lamp-post in Blackpool. She narrowed her eyes trying to remember whether the sergeant could have witnessed it. She shook her head. She had no idea but it was all starting to make sense.

  ‘My own niece,’ he went on with some pride, ‘has reassured me of your integrity and the difficult time you had with the unfortunate sergeant. We’ve since discovered Sergeant Horrocks even went so far as to destroy a letter asking for your application to the Air Transport Auxiliary.’

  Lily, who had been staring straight in front of her to attention, reeled at this information. She had actually been considered for the ATA? And Sergeant Horrocks had ruined her chances?

  The wing commander was continuing.

  ‘It seems obvious to me, and to your estimable officer here, that you were innocent of any involvement in her suicide, but that she had suffered a mental breakdown, exacerbated by an increasing intake of alcohol and pills that she managed to obtain by having a separate key made to the Medical Centre. This state of mind has been corroborated by the medical officer at her last posting and by a stock-taking of pills from the centre both there and here. I suspect the Coroner will come to the same conclusion.’

  He ended triumphantly just as Lily’s unreliable knees finally gave way and she grabbed for the corner of a chair.

  He looked down at her as she stumbled and added with disdain, ‘I think you had better leave now and regain some composure.’

  Her CO nodded and said, more kindly, ‘Yes, dismissed LACW Mullins, there will be no blemish on your record. You are now free to leave camp whenever you are off-duty. We have just heard that Hitler has committed suicide so we are hopeful that this war will soon be at an end. Go and enjoy yourself.’

  Lily closed the door behind her and tried to breathe. She practised putting one foot in front of the other as she made her way down the corridor and back to her hut. So much was going through her mind, firstly the relief that she was exonerated of any crime and secondly, that, even though it was now too late, she had been considered as a potential pilot. The thought sent a shiver down her spine. She could never forgive the sergeant for ruining that chance for her but never again would she be Silly Lily, the class clown, she would be someone who could have been a pilot. She almost cursed the end of the war but then with a pragmatic shrug, she opened the door to the hut.

  She was greeted by a huge cheer and caps being thrown in the air and looked up to see a crowd of girls jumping up and down on their bunks.

  At the front was Glad who was holding court regally.

  ‘Y’see, people who know people who know about filing cabinets can do wonders.’

  Lily moved forward slowly to hug her and then glimpsed the white, fluffy dressing gown of Marion who was pretending to read a magazine propped up on her white lace pillowcase. She went over to her and put her arms around her.

  ‘Thank you, Marion, thank you.’

  Marion shrugged her off.

  ‘I most certainly was not going to be known as someone who was acquainted with a criminal,’ she said huffily. Lily just caught a glimpse of the corner of her mouth tilting into a smile.

  ‘So which pub are we going to?’ Lily said to them all, clasping her hands together in delight. ‘I believe we have a tyrant’s death to celebrate.’

  Chapter 54

  It was a very different group who caught the train up to London in time for the VE celebrations. Lily had attended an early thanksgiving mass to be able to get one of the first trains and rushed to join Hilda, Marion and Glad, who were waiting excitedly to cycle to the railway station to be part of the crowds waiting on the platform. A slight relaxing of rules meant there were strands of hair escaping from caps, buttons were ever so slightly dull and there was not much sign of the strict deportment that had been imposed on them since they joined up. There was singing on the train and some servicemen even tried to lead Glad and Hilda in a waltz down the corridor. Spirits were high and when they piled off the train in London, Lily led the way to Trafalgar Square, laughing loudly.

  ‘There’s no need to be hysterical, Lily,’ Marion said. ‘There are still people being killed in the Far East.’

  ‘I know, but it’s been such a long haul to get to this,’ Lily replied, determinedly linking arms with her.

  Marion gave her haughty sniff and unhooked her arm, brushing off her uniform where Lily’s arm had lain.

  Lily shrugged and went over to Glad who immediately started to sing ‘Roll Out the Barrel’, swaying from side to side.

  They got the bus to Trafalgar Square and shared a moment of pride when the bus conductor refused to take fares from anyone in uniform. It was as if they were the heroes of the hour and the whole country had come to London to share in the joy of VE Day. Everywhere there were people, sitting on walls, perched on pavements, or seated on steps. Looking round at the excited scene, Lily thought lovingly of her country. It had been saved from invasion, it was going to stay British and even the blue skies above her had lost their dark clouds after the thunderstorm that morning that had, for a fleeting moment, made the familiar pounding return in every Londoner’s breast. She loved everyone and it seemed, everyone loved her.

  By the time they got to the square, there was hardly a spare inch to be had. People were climbing on lamp-posts, others clambered on the lions, patting them as if these noble creatures had personally defended their country. The pubs were closed but there seemed to be an endless bottle that was passed around and, in every direction, groups of people were singing and dancing. Amidst all the dull uniforms that had lost their lustre over the years, there were office girls in bright prints and Hilda darted off to buy them all red, white and blue favours to wave as enthusiastically as
everyone else. The morning papers had suggested that only the young would be resilient enough to stand the crowds and the wait for Churchill’s speech to be relayed over loudspeakers at three o’clock but there were babes in arms, elderly couples beaming beatifically and dogs in Union Jack bows. Rosettes fluttered in the breeze and every static structure was strewn with colour. The whole scene was like a village fete, awash with red, white and blue, with sashes, hair ribbons and even flags tied around ankles and wrists. The crowd were behaving like close friends at a drunken party, and they all swore eternal love for each other. Some faces were dazed and gaunt but even they were carried along by the crowd. Many looked nervously up at the skies but they were reassuringly empty. The church bells rang out a glorious sound, after so many years of silence. Cars, using up valuable petrol coupons with gay abandon, tooted their horns as they crawled around the packed crowds, boats on the Thames could be heard hooting too. It was an orchestra of joyful sound suddenly overridden by the imperious call, ‘We want the king.’

  The little group of girls decided to make their way towards Parliament in the hope of catching a glimpse of Winston Churchill, but it was slow progress as they got roped into conga dances and were offered drinks and embraces. It was as the fourth serviceman grabbed Lily to kiss her very firmly on the mouth that she spotted Betty. Out of nursing uniform, she looked even more like the reflection that stared back at Lily from her bedroom mirror at home.

  ‘Betty, Betty,’ she yelled above the noise, pushing the serviceman away. He shrugged and moved on to the next pretty girl. Betty turned around with a quizzical look on her face then she saw Lily.

  She was arm-in-arm with a small man in an RAF uniform. He was bespectacled and already had a receding hairline.

  ‘Lily, I can’t believe it’s you! Fred, this is the girl I told you about. The one who . . .’ she trailed off, unable to stop the grin spreading across her face.

  The man looked disbelievingly from one to the other and stroked his chin.

  ‘It’s uncanny, I’ve never seen anything like it.’

  He stood back as the two girls hugged. Lily looked sideways at him and felt a moment’s astonishment as she examined this very ordinary man who had prompted so much rivalry between two women and so much enmity from Sergeant Horrocks.

  ‘Betty, you vanished from the hospital. I couldn’t track you down. I was trying to find out more about . . . Did you hear . . .’ Lily trailed off.

  ‘About Agatha Horrocks? Yes, I did. I would like to say I’m sorry but I can’t.’ Betty shook her head and then leaned in to whisper so her husband could not hear.

  ‘That woman was like poison. Everything she touched went sour. So many people have died in this war, that was one death I couldn’t mourn.’

  Lily nodded and gave her a hug.

  At that moment, two old Cockneys who had spent the morning in the pub, shouted ‘That’s ‘im. That’s ‘is lovely bald head.’

  The two girls strained their necks to glimpse Winston Churchill walking at the head of a procession of Members of Parliament back to the Commons after a service at St Margaret’s. Betty cheered loudly but Lily just drank in the scene to make sure she would remember it in detail when she got back to Slade Lane. She got a thrill of excitement that she was witnessing this scene and would be able to tell it to her grandchildren – if she ever had any, she thought with a turn of her stomach.

  ‘Oh Danny,’ she beseeched the skies, ‘will we ever make it?’

  She turned back to the crowd behind her but Betty had disappeared in the throng.

  The rest of the day was almost an anti-climax and a general listlessness fell over the city as the crowds melted away. Once the excitement abated, it was as if everyone needed to go home to lick their wounds, remembering that they were exhausted and emotionally drained.

  Lily’s little band of girls also turned for home, or at least the base they had come to think of as home for so long. They were all subdued until Marion voiced what they were all thinking.

  ‘So, that’s it then, we all go back to our normal lives, do we?’

  Normality was a distant memory but little by little, it had been seeping through their uniforms like drizzle. Lily realised all the little mental boxes she had kept closed-up throughout the past four years were slowly opening up. She had been allowing herself to think of home, Liners and living with her parents and she was not sure how she felt about it all.

  ‘I’d forgotten how quiet my mam and dad’s place is,’ Hilda said. ‘I’ve been wanting to go back for so long, but now it’s really going to happen.’

  They all nodded in agreement and quietly got on the train back to Upper Heyford, deep in their own thoughts.

  *

  The day job took over and became a blur of unnecessary paperwork, with endless demands that Lily should deliver this chitty and that chitty here and there. She walked miles up and down corridors, but the click had gone out of her heels. There was no urgency anymore and she felt exhausted and strangely flat. The shift patterns were the same but without the tense waits for crews and the threat of raids, the atmosphere was very subdued.

  When the news about the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki came through, there was an almost guilty silence in the camp. It had been so easy to forget that this had been a world war and that terrifyingly huge numbers of people were still losing their lives. Lily could hardly admit to herself that she was torn between being grateful for the nuclear bomb and being completely horrified by its power and effect.

  Once VJ Day was declared, the boredom increased and all the service people were desperate to get home and back to normal, but demob seemed to last forever, with married people given priority. There was more time off and the conversations in the pubs, NAAFI and mess were all about what people were going to do when they got home. The bubble they had all created of a separate world for themselves had burst.

  At last, Lily got her demob papers and she packed her bag for the last time, patting her rough blanket into a neat pile on the top of her bunk. She could not believe she was crying but looked round to find Hilda doing the same. They hugged each other with the intensity of two sisters being parted forever. She took one last walk down between the beds, a flood of memories overwhelming her and turned to wave at Hilda who had tears streaming down her face.

  The trip from the station was a quiet affair with wan smiles across the train carriage to her fellow passengers. Everyone was uncharacteristically subdued and the headlines on the newspaper of the man opposite her reminded Lily that she would be going back to a very different Manchester from the one she had left. Lily craned her neck to read the front page. The country was almost bankrupt, stocks and supplies had to be built up again. The columnists were starting to talk about how the returning men were already feeling threatened by the womenfolk who had been doing their jobs with skill and aptitude. Lily absentmindedly noticed the cows in fields that would never now be trampled over by German soldiers. Gazing out of the train window, she saw a reflection of herself and had a glimpse of the girl she had been four years earlier with that ridiculous red lipstick.

  Chapter 55

  ‘Lily, where’s my school cap, you said you’d put it away.’ Don’s voice was muffled from under all the coats in the hallway.

  Settling in at home was a strange process. It was familiar but it was Lily who was different. She found herself biting her lip on many occasions, especially at moments like this one when her brother tried to treat her as his personal slave or when her mother fussed over her. She reluctantly unearthed the cap from under the cushion next to her, resignedly holding it out. Her brother raced in, his tie to one side and one arm out of his blazer and snatched it from her. He glared at the clock.

  ‘I’m so late, and it’s your fault,’ he grumbled at Lily. She pulled a face at him and reached out to ruffle his hair, which he hated.

  ‘Stop it,’ his new deep voice said. I’m a prefect now, you can’t treat me like that.’

  She we
nt to get out of the chair to dive at him but he dodged out of the way.

  ‘When you’re big enough, you’ll be too old,’ he threw back over his shoulder as he grabbed a piece of toast off the table and flew out of the door.

  Lily closed her eyes for a moment and counted to ten. She had looked forward to the end of the war and coming home so much but it was a strange transition. She was back at Liners and, initially, had been given more responsibility, but once the men started to come back, she had to move desks regularly, ending up in the corner of the room. She found herself being expected to make the tea again. The initial excitement had been replaced by a routine that she found nothing short of tedious. But today was different.

  Lily had just enough time for a second cup of tea before leaving for the bus. She had taken a day off work to meet Alice, who was making a special trip to Manchester to see her. Her father had already gone up to bed and Ginny Mullins was in the other armchair, indulging in the peace and quiet of the gently ticking clock and the normality that for so long had seemed like a dream never to be repeated. She yawned slowly and stretched her arms above her head, then seeming to realise how unladylike that was, brought them down, saying, ‘You’d better get off, Lily, you don’t want to be late. I’ve left your coat by the back door.’

  Lily forced herself to smile. Her mother still treated her like the nineteen-year-old who had left so many years before . . . a lifetime ago, really, but to her mother, she was still that same young girl. She slowly got up out of the chair, automatically filled up her mother’s teacup and went to get her coat.

  Lily scanned the Kardomah café for her friend and gave a whimper of joy as she spotted the solid frame of Alice sitting with her hands clasped around a cup of tea.

  Alice jumped up and the tea went flying all over the floor, prompting a disdainful look from the waitress who was serving the next table. The two girls bumped heads as they tried to mop up the mess with their cotton hankies and then they both burst out laughing and reached out to each other.