A Greater World: A woman's journey

by Clare Flynn

  'That's very creditable.'

  'He won't have to worry about money soon. Pa'll see him right when he marries our Hat.'

  Elizabeth almost choked on her cup of tea.

  'Didn't you know that's the plan? Pa wants them to get hitched and then move in here and you and he and Mikey's going to move back out to Wilton's Creek.'

  'What?' She put the cup down, spilling a large quantity into the saucer.

  'Hasn't he told you?'

  'No he hasn't. And what do Hattie and Mr Winterbourne think of this plan? I presume I'm the only one not party to all these arrangements?'

  'I don't think Hattie knows either. Michael wasn't too happy at first, her being such a moody cow, but I think he's going along with it now. She seems to be on her best behaviour with him. All smiles and sweetness.

  'I'll be made up to have him as a brother-in-law. I want to go back to Wilton's Creek with you and Pa and Mikey though. Could you ask Pa for me? He's more likely to listen to you. He says the mine is good experience for me, but I don't know what for? He'll never put me in charge – and I couldn't handle it if he did. Ask him will you, Lizbeth?'

  She nodded distractedly. 'So Michael, er Mr Winterbourne, has agreed to marry Harriet?'

  'He hasn't asked her yet but he's going to soon. Pa wants it sorted soon as possible. He wants to get out of town.'

  'Does he?'

  'Won't be much fun for you out there in the bush with just Pa and Mikey. If I could come too it would be bonzer.'

  She thought about the prospect of Michael Winterbourne becoming a close relative. Her son-in-law for heaven's sake. Isolation in a shack in the bush would be preferable to living at Kinross House with Michael and Harriet under the same roof.

  She waited until they were in bed. Kidd had just climbed in beside her and was stretching a hand out to lift her nightgown, when Elizabeth drew away from him. 'We need to talk.'

  'Talk away.' He yawned and rolled towards her, again making to lift the hem of her nightgown.

  Elizabeth pulled herself upright and drew her knees up in front of her. 'I understand you're planning for Harriet to marry your foreman.'

  'That's right.'

  'I don't think it's a suitable match. Harriet's had a good education and can do better than a mining foreman. I think she...'

  He interrupted her. 'I don't care what you think. She's my daughter and I've made up my mind. She'll wed Mick Winterbourne.'

  'What does Harriet think of this plan? Or haven't you seen fit to share it with her?'

  'We'll bide our time till the lad asks her. They've not long been courting.'

  'And is Mr Winterbourne aware that you expect him to marry your daughter?'

  'He is.'

  'He agrees?'

  'He does.'

  'It's preposterous!'

  'You and your long words.'

  'He's come from nowhere. We know nothing of him and his family. How can you marry off Harriet to him like this?'

  'This is Australia. We don't fret too much about people's family history. Now are you finished with your damn questions?'

  'And we're to live in Wilton's Creek?'

  'Who's told you that? You afraid of scrubbing floors again?"

  'I'm not afraid of hard work. I'm just not relishing the prospect of being stuck in the middle of nowhere. I don't want Mikey growing up like a savage. He'll be lonely out there. Miles away from town.'

  'We'll just have to make sure he has a brother or sister won't we? That'll be company and occupation for both of you. It isn't going to happen if you sit there like a bloody statue with your legs crossed. It's time you gave me a child of my own.' He put his hands on her hips and pulled her back down the bed.

  Elizabeth stood at the bedroom window, a cup of tea in her hand, looking at the garden below. Will and Michael Winterbourne were kicking a flabby leather ball, while Mikey wobbled unsteadily between them, trying to intercept it, but failing, then toppling over and landing on his bottom. Each time, before the tears could start, either one picked the child up and set him back on his chubby legs, causing the incipient tears to turn to laughter, until another tumble set the cycle off again.

  She watched, entranced. Neither Will nor Michael showed any sign of impatience: they teased and encouraged the little boy by turns. Mikey for his part was overjoyed at being the centre of attention and threw himself exuberantly into the game.

  Michael feinted as Mikey ran towards him at speed, falling as though mortally wounded. He lay on his back motionless. Will gave a theatrical cry. Mikey looked bewildered, then teetered unsteadily over to the motionless body of the man, his face puzzled. As he arrived, Michael burst back to life and grappled the little boy, tumbling him into his arms and lifting him into the air. The child chortled, his momentary fear transformed into joy: a privileged participant in an exciting grown-up game.

  This was a side of Michael Winterbourne that Elizabeth had never seen before: exuberant and playful. The two men now slumped together, breathless, against the garden wall while Mikey tried to pull them back into the game. She thought how things might have been different and she might have been watching Michael Winterbourne play with their own child.

  She turned away from the window and slipped her wedding ring off her finger, dropping it into the empty porcelain dish on her dressing table. She pulled open the top drawer and took out a small box covered in faded black velvet. Inside was another ring, her mother's. She slipped it onto her finger and went back to the window. The three were still on the lawn: now Will was carrying Mikey on his back, horseback style, while Michael pretended to lead them: holding a thin belt, the other end of which was wound loosely round Will's neck.

  As she watched the horseplay, she reflected that this was now her family. A boy, once a stranger, now her stepson; a small child she had never wanted to conceive and had thought to abort but whose very bones she loved; a man she had fallen hopelessly in love with, now to be her son-in-law. And the family she had once had were all gone: parents dead, her sister as good as, and her nieces lost to her for ever. She stood watching until the dinner gong, then she slid her mother's wedding ring off her finger and replaced it with her own, returning her mother's ring to its case and locking the drawer behind it. Taking a deep breath she went down to dinner.

  Harriet was slumped in the only armchair in Verity Radley's tiny drawing room. Verity was seated at the small table where she marked her school papers and took her meals. She smiled at Harriet, thinking how pretty the girl looked, despite the heavy frown that marked her brow and broke the smoothness of her marble skin. It was so nice to have her company again: she was lonely without the company of Harriet and somehow diminished by no longer having someone to be responsible for.

  'Sit up, Harriet. It's not ladylike to slouch like that.'

  The girl sighed. She pulled herself upright and smoothed the front of her dress down where it had started to ride up above her knees.

  'I can't take it much longer. I hate her. I don't know how you can bear to talk to her. I hate that you go to visit her rather than me.'

  'For goodness sake! I go to visit you both. It saddens me greatly that you won't even enter the room if your stepmother is present.'

  'Don't call her that. Not unless you insert the word wicked in front.'

  'Harriet!'

  'You know I loathe her. I wish she'd take her brat and go back to Sydney or England or whatever place she came from, and stay out of our lives.'

  'I don't understand. Elizabeth has been kind to you. She made an effort to befriend you and she has your interests at heart. Why do you dislike her? It pains me that you behave like this towards her.'

  'I've told you – she's a fortune hunter. She trapped Pa into marriage and she wants to take the place of my mother. Ma worked hard and never had a penny to her name. Pa was poor when she was alive. Now this woman gets to enjoy his money. She struts around in fancy clothes and does nothing all day except scrape away at the violin and play with her horrible baby. My m
other had to take in washing to get by. She should have lived to enjoy Pa's wealth.'

  Verity had listened to this diatribe many times before and knew that nothing she could say would make the girl view Elizabeth any differently. 'Don't speak like this behind her back. I won't listen, Harriet. Elizabeth cares about you. She wants the best for you. And she never struts.'

  The girl curled her lip and sank back into the depths of the chair.

  'Anyway I don't want to talk about her any more either. There's something else I need to tell you. Michael Winterbourne asked me to marry him yesterday.'

  'Goodness me, that's wonderful news! Mr Winterbourne has always seemed to me an exceptionally nice man.'

  'I've decided to accept his proposal.'

  'So you love him!' The teacher clasped her hands together in delight.

  'Don't be ridiculous! He's a good-looking man and I do enjoy the fact that half the town is in love with him. But I'm certainly not in love with him myself.'

  'Why do you want to marry him?' the older woman spoke nervously.

  'He's my ticket out of this town and away from that woman.' She paused and looked away. 'And because she doesn't want me to.'

  'She doesn't want you to?'

  'She spoke to me yesterday. Said I was too young to be marrying. Told me if I didn't want to go through with it she'd speak to Pa on my behalf. The cheek of the woman. As if I can't speak to my own father!'

  'Mr Kidd can be a difficult man.'

  'That's nothing to do with it. I know she doesn't want me to marry him. So that's exactly what I'm going to do.'

  'Harriet really! That's no basis to accept a marriage proposal. If you don't have feelings for Mr Winterbourne then you mustn't marry him.'

  'Of course I can and I will. Besides Pa says I'll get Kinross House and that woman will have to move out with her horrid little child. Pa has promised to settle some money on me, so at last I can do as I like. My problems solved in one stroke! I intend to spend most of my time in Sydney. And the rest of the time I'll be mistress of my own house – the largest house in McDonald Falls. I have such plans!'

  'Harriet! Please! And Mr Winterbourne? What does he have to say about living in Sydney? His work is here.'

  'He doesn't know yet – but he won't care. He's at the mine most of the time. He'll let me do as I please. I'll stay in the city and he can stay up here. Perfect! He never says much anyway. When he's at the house he talks to Will not me. But then that's like Pa, so it's no change.'

  'Does he have feelings for you? It seems cruel to enter into a marriage if you don't share his affections.'

  'I don't suppose he cares any more for me than I do for him. I'm sure he thinks I'm pretty and I suppose he reckons he's got a good deal. Pa's promoting him to Mine Manager and giving him a big pay rise. He won't have to live in a nasty little lodging house any more. Not bad for a man no one had even heard of a couple of years ago and didn't have a penny to his name.'

  'Harriet I'm shocked at how calculating you sound! It pains me greatly to hear you speak like this. It also saddens me to think of you entering into matrimony for reasons other than true feelings of affection. When I think of how happy I was when my darling Bernard proposed to me...'

  'I don't believe in all that romantic tosh. It never lasts. Look at you!'

  Verity blushed.

  'I don't mean to be cruel, but romance is for fairy tales and the flicks. I'd rather have money and freedom.'

  'Does Mr Winterbourne know you feel this way?'

  'I haven't a clue. I told him I need time to consider his proposal. I don't want him to think I'm swooning at his feet like all the others.' The girl paused, then spoke: 'Has that woman ever told you she knew Michael Winterbourne? You know, before either of them came here?'

  The schoolteacher looked taken aback. 'No. What on earth makes you ask that?'

  'She behaves oddly around him. And so does he with her. They avoid each other. I noticed it that day outside the school when he sucked the snake poison out of that little boy. She was there. You didn't know her then and you'd already gone inside. They spoke to each other and I got the distinct impression they knew each other. The first time he came to Kinross House I could tell he was surprised to see her and they went out of their way to avoid talking to each other. Something's gone on there. The fact that she doesn't want me to marry him makes me all the more certain – and all the more determined to do so!'

  'Your imagination is running away with you, dear. If Elizabeth knew Mr Winterbourne before she would have mentioned it.'

  'Think what you like and so will I. It won't change my view and it won't stop me marrying him. And there's not a thing she can do to prevent me.'

  Michael was halfway back to his lodgings from Kinross House when he heard someone running behind him. He stopped, thinking it was the young Irish maid or possibly Harriet herself. But it was Elizabeth.

  She caught her breath, then spoke in a rush. 'Don't do it. Don't marry her. You know it's wrong.'

  'What are you talking about?'

  'Harriet doesn't care for you. She's very young. She's only marrying you to please her father.'

  'What's it to you?' His eyes were cold.

  'I don't want you to make a terrible mistake. Either of you.'

  'The terrible mistake was made by me on Sydney harbour. Fresh off the boat and soft in the head.'

  'It wasn't like that.'

  'I'm not interested, Mrs Kidd. It's plain and simple. I don't see the problem. You married the father now I'm going to marry the daughter.'

  Elizabeth choked back her tears. 'So this is about me? You're trying to punish me?'

  'Don't flatter yerself.'

  'Then why are you doing it? You don't care for Harriet. You'll make each other miserable and ruin any chance of happiness either of you might have in the future.'

  'What do you know or care about me future happiness? You know nothing about me or about the girl. Just mind yer business. The matter's settled and I reckon if either Harriet or her father knew you were here talking to me like this they'd not be pleased.'

  'Michael, I beg you. Harriet doesn't know her own mind. She's only doing this to please her father and probably to get away from me. As for my husband, I think he believes this is the best way to protect his financial interests and keep you at the mine.'

  'Mebbe his financial interests and mine have a lot in common.'

  'That's why you're marrying her?'

  'Mebbe it's the same reason you married her father? Perhaps we're both after the main chance?'

  'You know that's not true. Of either of us.'

  'I'm not sure I know what the truth is any more. And I'm not sure I care.'

  He walked away from her, anger rising. As the blood rushed into his face, he increased his pace, but as he reached the turnoff to the street where he lived, he kept walking, wanting to burn off his temper before he returned home and faced Mrs Abbott and the supper she'd have waiting for him. But as he walked, his heart was thumping a drum tattoo inside his chest and it wasn't from anger so much as desire. He had wanted to sweep her into his arms and promise he would never marry Harriet and beg her to run away with him. He knew he was a damned fool still to be beguiled by her. But he couldn't help it. He tried to hate her, but knew that he wanted her and always would.

  As he pounded the deserted streets of McDonald Falls he told himself that Elizabeth's betrayal was a punishment for what he had done to his own family. Why be angry with her when he had no right to expect the happiness he so desired?

  He made his mind up. He would marry Harriet. The consequent improvement in his finances would help his parents and that was the only consideration. Yet, despite the rational voice in his brain telling him that Elizabeth had toyed with him, his heart would not believe it. Her eyes when she looked at him were full of pain and longing.

  Elizabeth walked home, eyes stinging from the tears she was trying to hold back. She had wanted to tell him everything, to explain all the messy details of ho
w she had come to be married to Kidd, but she couldn't have done that without disclosing the true parentage of her little boy. That was not a risk she was prepared to take for anyone, even the man she loved so much. She also felt a debt of gratitude to Kidd for taking her in and acknowledging her son as his own. And it was too late anyway to undo any of this sorry mess, so what was the point of raking it all up? Her life had not turned out as she wanted, but it could have been much worse if Kidd had not married her: destitute and abandoned in a strange country with a child and no means of supporting herself.

  One thing was clear. She could not live under the same roof as Michael and Harriet. Exile to Wilton's Creek was a far better alternative.

  Chapter Seventeen – Another Wedding

  Michael had pre-nuptial nerves. No matter how often he told himself to forget Elizabeth, he couldn't stop thinking about her. As soon as the date for marrying Harriet was set, he started panicking. Marrying her was wrong, very wrong. He tried to be cynical – he'd be a wealthy man and could afford to bring his parents out to Australia. He tried to be pragmatic – Harriet was an attractive woman and he had no desire to stay a bachelor. He tried to be angry – it would be sweet revenge for Elizabeth's betrayal. But none of it worked. He knew in his heart it wasn't right that he marry a woman he felt nothing for. And doing it in circumstances that would tie him forever to Elizabeth was worse.

  The night before the nuptials was his last chance to pull out. He'd tried to refuse a buck's night, but the men at the colliery and Will were immoveable on the subject. Jack Kidd offered to stand them all drinks in the Lawson Arms so there was no chance they would let Michael slip off for a last quiet evening alone at his lodging house.

  Kidd left early, after one drink, but everyone else was in a party mood. Michael endured the ribbing and ribaldry and nursed his pint with a growing sense of melancholy, escaping the crowd at the bar as soon as they were drunk enough not to notice. He sat down at a table beside Will.