You are no angel

by Emma Quinn

  “God, no. There is no way that I would ever go out with Jake. Not like that. He might be nice now, but no way,” I tried to insist, but I wasn’t sure that my words were really sinking in properly. I might not have been directly looking at Victoria, but I could tell that she was staring at me all suspiciously. “We couldn’t be together.”

  “And why not?” Victoria demanded. “I mean, he is gorgeous so there is no way you can’t fancy him…”

  “I don’t deal in play boys. I don’t want to be a notch on a bed post.” I shrugged, trying not to stammer all weirdly as I did. “Plus, he could have any woman that he wanted, so why would he look at me?”

  “Erm… because you are absolutely beautiful,” my cousin insisted in the way that only a family member could, blindly without really seeing the truth of me. “And I’m pretty sure that Jake has already noticed that about you.”

  “What are you talking about?” I damn near screamed, nearly forgetting that I was in the library for a moment.

  “You should see his face when he talks about you. And when he talks to you as well. Play boy or not, that guy seriously has the hots for you. He might even like you. Like you, if you know what I mean.”

  My heart might as well have been in my throat. I was a God damn mess. He couldn’t like me, not really. I was pretty sure that he was a million times too good for me looks wise, especially since I had embarrassingly fallen asleep on him that time when we were watching a movie so he probably saw me dribbling or something equally humiliating, and that all the best looking girls wanted him, even if it was just for one night. There was no way he liked me.

  “I think he just cares about me because we knew each other before in high school, and that we also live near one another. I think it’s a protective thing. I don’t think he likes me. He doesn’t like anyone, does he? Not really. From what I know of him, he’s just into one-night stands. I’m not like that. I’m never going to be like that.”

  Victoria stared at me for a few moments, like she was trying to work out what the hell I was thinking. I didn’t know myself, so I couldn’t give her anything. I wanted to get back into my books and study instead.

  “I don’t know, Mila,” she finally said. “I don’t think you can see what I can. But you will. You will…”

  I put my head down, refusing to acknowledge her anymore because this wasn’t a conversation that I could have without losing my mind. Jake had already crawled underneath my skin and he had affected me in ways that I wasn’t expecting. I couldn’t help but think that the way he made me feel was even more powerful than the way that I had ever felt for Brandon. Now, to me that seemed like a childish baseless crush, whereas what was creeping through me for Jake was overwhelming. Not that I would ever act on it of course, because he was still a player, so even if he did like me the littlest bit, I couldn’t just share one night with him. No way in hell.

  16

  Jake

  “ O

  h, fancy seeing you here.” I smiled at Mila as I found her with her head bent over a book, studying hard. I might have been acting like I didn’t know she was in here but I had just bumped in to Victoria who told me. It wasn’t much of a surprise anyway considering that was where she spent most of her time when she wasn’t at work. Studying hard, focusing on her future, putting a good career ahead of running around and partying with everyone else.

  “Oh, right.” She blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to life without words swimming around in front of her eyes. “Hey, Jake. How are things with you? You got some studying to do as well?”

  I nodded and took a seat beside her. “Is it okay if I sit here with you? I don’t like studying alone.”

  I hadn't exactly been planning to hang out in the library, at least not until I spotted Victoria, but I always had stuff that I could do. I mean, I never forgot that I needed this qualification to succeed. It was always there in the forefront of my mind, so there was always time for me to study. Especially if I could do it with Mila.

  “Oh yes, I will. I’m just going to grab some books. I will be back here in a moment.”

  “Sure, sure. I will keep your seat here. I wouldn’t mind studying with someone else anyway…”

  I walked backwards, smiling at Mila as I did. I couldn’t seem to drag my eyes away from her yet again. She was my drug, I was completely addicted to her, unable to cope without my fix. People could see it, I was pretty sure that Victoria knew, Mila seemed to be the only person who couldn’t see how I felt. Not that I had out right told her or anything, but even the idea of saying to Mila out loud that I was falling for her was too much.

  Instead, I guess I was going to have to continue looking at her from afar, torturing myself about her at work, and thinking about her in the same apartment building as me while I lay in bed. Dreaming about her as well. I had been dreaming about her a lot, and every morning it crushed me when I didn’t wake up with her beside me.

  My breaths were hot and fast, practically panting as I ran my fingers along the books. I couldn’t even see the titles of the books, never mind anything else, all I could see was her. Mila, the woman who I adored. This was definitely different, there was something new about the way that I felt for Mila. Even though I had dated other people, even someone else at college for a short while, none of them had ever compared to these emotions. She was driving me crazy, absolutely insane, and I honestly didn’t mind. I wouldn’t have given up any time with her just because I was slowly going mad because of her. I guess in a way, I kinda hoped that soon she would feel it too.

  “Hay, Jake, what are you doing here?” My attention was grabbed by one of the girls from my course. I knew her name but I couldn’t quite place it at that moment in time. “You know that it’s Paul’s party tonight, right? Clearly, you aren’t working so you should totally come. I have been wanting to have a night out with you in ages…”

  Oh, of course. Alisha. Now I remembered because of all the flirting, the hints that she wanted to hook up with me. Alisha wasn’t the commitment type which old Jake would have loved because I could have all of the fun with none of the hassle, but these days the idea just felt exhausting. I wanted something much more real. Real, and with Mila.

  “Actually, I have a lot of studying to do.” I shrugged one shoulder apologetically. “But have fun.”

  “No, don’t do that to me.” She raced over to me while making a point of flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulders, presumably to draw my attention to the exposed skin of her throat. It wasn’t doing anything for me though, all I could think about was getting back to Mila and watching her study. That was much more appealing than partying with a sure thing. “Come and have fun. You are always working and we never get the chance…”

  Alisha grabbed on to my arm and gave me the puppy dog eyes but I shook my head in a firm no. “I can’t. Sorry.”

  “But I work with you. I know that we don’t have any urgent work needing to be in right now…”

  “I need to get ahead, Alisha. Like you noticed, I am always working. I have to try and balance things.”

  She wasn’t impressed with my answer, but she wasn’t ever going to be was she? Because I wasn’t giving her what she wanted, but that didn’t matter to me. I knew that I had something more urgent to do.

  “Didn’t you used to be a party guy, Jake?” Alisha cocked her head to one side curiously. “I heard all sorts of wild stories about you. I want to see that side of you. Everyone here does. He sounds like a cool guy.”

  I wasn’t sure who had been spreading old tales about me but it pissed me off no end. “He grew up, okay?”

  “Oh, really?” Alisha gave me an exaggerated eye roll back. “Because we don’t need to grow up yet. This is our time to have fun and let loose before responsibility grabs us and we become joyless adults. Don’t you think?”

  Uh oh, something about her words struck me. Much as I wasn’t that idiot party boy anymore, I didn’t want to regret missing out on having a good time either. I didn’t want
to regret my whole life. Maybe I did need to get out more… but then my eyes drifted over to where I knew that Mila was waiting for me and I knew where I wanted to be. Tonight anyway, anything that would come afterward, I could deal with then. “Sorry, not tonight.”

  Alisha was pissy as she left but I didn’t care. I actually had a smile on my face as I grabbed some books and I took them over to the table to sit beside Mila once more. I guess I was more keen than I noticed because as I slid my books on to the table I accidently managed to knock her pile over, scattering them all over the floor.

  “Oops!” Mila jumped up with a smile, not bothered by my idiocy at all, but I felt like an idiot.

  “Oh, God, I’m so sorry.” I clapped my hand to my forehead. “I have just messed up your order…”

  “No, it’s fine. I will just…” She bent to her knees at the same time I did and we both reached for the same book, almost as if there was a magnetic force pulling us in and there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do about it.

  A bolt of electricity burst through me as our hands grazed together, her eyes lifted up to meet mine and I could see that she experienced it too. She was feeling the same excitement, finally acknowledging that this wasn’t just a one way thing. She did like me, I knew that I wasn’t on my own with these emotions, it was two way…

  “What are you…?” she rasped, her voice thick with confusion and desire.

  “I just…” My voice mimicked hers, we were both in a mess here.

  Neither of us knew what to say, neither of us knew how to drag our eyes away from one another, we were stuck together, swimming in this moment, enjoying and embracing every inch of it. I inched forwards, only slightly, just to see if she would do the same thing and much to my surprise, she did. She inched towards me as well, her lips pursed out to me because she wanted me as well. I couldn’t believe it, my head was spinning, this was all so crazy.

  Any minute now we would be kissing, any minute now…

  And then her lips crashed to mine and everything exploded. Fire works like nothing I had ever felt before erupted inside of me, blowing up every cell and fiber, connecting her with me, confirming the chemistry that I always suspected was there and then some. Wow, this was on another level, this was phenomenal.

  I cupped my hands around her cheeks, keeping her in place as the kiss deepened. I didn’t want to let her go yet, this was the best moment of my life so far and I wasn’t content with it being over.

  Wow, this is it, this is really it…

  My head span with lust, with need, I wanted so much more from this moment. I had just been given a bigger hot of my drug, and even that wasn’t enough. My addiction was growing, increasing by the moment, I couldn’t help myself.

  “Should we get out of here?” Mila pulled back from me just enough to whisper those words, but her forehead rested against mine. “Go back to mine… mine or yours, I don’t know… do you want to go?”

  Shit, she was shaking, feeling this intensity along with me. Of course I was going to nod because if this was what she wanted then I was more than in. God, who would have thought that tonight would bring us here.

  “I have my car in the parking lot.” I nodded eagerly while lacing my fingers through hers. “Let’s get out of here.”

  We dragged the books off the floor and piled them all higgldy piggledy on the table because the order didn’t matter now, nothing did. Only me and her…

  17

  Mila

  T

  he air was thick, the car ride long and much too long. The anticipation was killer, I couldn’t stop my leg from shaking, it was damn near impossible to keep my hands to myself. All I wanted to was reach out and touch him, to hold him, to feel his body. I had been thinking about Jake forever, telling myself that I wouldn’t let myself get tricked in to sleeping with him, but honestly the more time that I spent with him the more I could see that everyone else was right. He was a good guy now and he could even be good for me if I let him. And I was letting him.

  That kiss… wow, that kiss was something else. I hadn't ever felt such power from a kiss before. It was perfect, the sort of meet cute and magical moment from a rom com. Exactly what I had always wanted but never got with Brandon… the thought of Brandon sent a weird shiver down my spine. Know that he wouldn’t like this one bit affected me more than it should have done. I felt all weird about him even though he had to know that I wasn’t going to give him a chance. I guess it was because I always thought that he would be my first…

  But life changed, people changed, and Jake was the one who endlessly proved to me that he was right for me.

  Finally, after what felt like a million years, we pulled up outside of the apartment building, in the same way that we had done a million times before, but it was different this time. Today, we were going to enter a house together. Mine, I presumed since I was the only one out of us that lived by myself, so I was comfortable with that.

  “Are you ready?” I smiled, a nervous, edgy smile. “Shall we go inside?”

  Jake laced his fingers through mine and held on to me as we walked up the stairs. Neither of us worked up the courage to say anything but we didn’t really need to. The unsaid air between us spoke volumes. It wasn’t until we reached the outside of my apartment that Jake took hold of my shoulders and he stole the air from my lungs by pressing me up against the wall and kissing me with those incredible lips of his once more. If this wasn’t such a public place where other tenants in the building could have walked passed us at any moment, I wouldn’t have bothered going inside… but I didn’t want to get caught. I wanted to be with him in a safe space.

  “Let me just get my keys,” I whispered as I fumbled in my bag. “Hold on.”

  But he continued to stroke my hair, to look at me with those incredible loving eyes of his as I tried to search for my keys, he did everything that he could to make me feel special. I was on fire, flames licked all over my skin, I was practically trembling with desire and he hadn't even touched me yet… not really. But soon, soon…

  We crashed through my front door together and he enveloped me in his arms once again. Luckily, Jake was there to take control of the situation because I had no idea what I was doing. As we kissed and he led me through to the apartment to the bedroom, while sliding the straps of my top off as we went, I fell willingly with him. I was happy for him to undress me, to peel my clothing off. I was even surprisingly confident as he ran his eager eyes over my body, eating me up with his eyes. I guess it must have been the way that he was looking at me, like I was beautiful.

  “Lie back,” he whispered to me. The words might have been commanding but his tone wasn’t. He wanted me to do what made me comfortable but luckily that was exactly what I wanted to do as well. I nodded and fell back on to the sheets, shivering because the bed was cool… not that the cold did anything to calm down the flush running through my skin. The flames of desire weren’t about to dampen any time soon.

  I rested my head on the pillow only wearing my under wear and I watched intently as Jake undressed for me. He kept his gaze fixed on me the entire time as he shed his layers, showing me the gorgeous man lying underneath. Watching him, seeing him naked, the first man in my entire life, had my heart hammering like crazy against my rib cage, my breaths short and ragged, my spine tingling with need and desire. The wet heat between my thighs increased by the moment, if I didn’t have him soon I was going to explode like a pressure cooker meeting its limit.

  “You are so beautiful,” Jake purred as he climbed across the bed to meet me, like a predator coming for his prey. I pushed up a little to meet him, to hungrily kiss him because I couldn’t get enough. “So beautiful.”

  What happened next was a flurry of lips, teeth, and tongue. He seemed to be tasting me all over, taking parts of me between his lips and using my body to send me on a journey of pleasure. I was riding the wave of bliss and it was incredible, phenomenal, I never wanted to get off. My bra went first, my panties not long after, I was naked, ra
w, and exposed for Jake and it felt wonderful. This was the happiest, most explosive moment of my life. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t even keep track of where Jake was taking his mouth yet because everywhere he went felt incredible.

  “Oh shit,” I murmured, my eyes sliding closed as he slipped down my body, over my nipples, nibbling my stomach. “Jake, that feels… oh wow…” The top of my thigh. Dangerously close. “That feels so… so…”

  Holy hell. I wasn’t expecting him to take me in his mouth, to feel the sensation of his hot rough tongue plunging in to me. I couldn’t help myself. My hips flipped off the bed, a guttural cry exploded from me. I had no control of myself anymore. He had it all. All of it and I was more than willing to let him take it all.

  “Oh… G, God… Oh God…” He slipped his tongue along my soaking wet slit until he had my clit within his power. He circled, he traced patterns, he did whatever he could at the exact speed I needed until the pressure cooker couldn’t take it any longer. I exploded in heat, I swam in desire, the orgasm ripped through my body and absolutely tore me to shreds. Every bone, every organ, every cell was affected by him and I loved it. I thrashed and writhed, but Jake kept hold of my ass to fix me in place to ensure that I experienced the full force of the bliss…

  “Oh wow…” I gasped, desperately needing air to fill my lungs. “Wow, Jake, that was…”

  But he wasn’t done with me yet. At the speed of light he slid up my body until his lips were all over mine once more, devouring me, consuming me with bliss. I could feel his tip teasing my entrance, begging for entrance, and all I wanted to do was let him. I couldn’t think about anything other than feeling him deep inside of me.

  “I want you,” I begged, rolling my hips to let him know. “I want you, Jake. I need you.”