Irrelevant Jack 5

by Prax Venter

  “My best advice is to keep focusing on short term, immediate use ideas, such as skipping Class restrictions by strapping shields to someone’s body or even the hot air balloon construct- which Doveport’s raw silk may come in handy for, by the way.”

  Jack rubbed his chin. “Hmm, immediate use ideas.”

  But the more he tried to focus on inventing mind-blowing game-breaking abuses, the more his imagination turned to mist. What he needed was inspiration. Lex’s shackle and chain affecting system stats, discovering infinite fire…

  “Jack,” Alt said, “do you see that white crust on the edges of your experiment?”

  “It’s gotta be the residue,” he said, bending forward but the last thing both he and the AI tethered to his brain expected to see was a black lacquer information panel pop up from Mother Sana.

  South Sea Ivory Salt - [Ingredient | Tier 2 | Alchemy, Cooking | x1]

  “What?” Jack asked no one as he willed the system-spawned item into his inventory. Most of the residue crusting the edges of the bubbling seawater faded away, but he could tell more continued gathering along the rim.

  “Of course…” Alt gasped, and he felt the AI begin spinning with excitement within his skull. “Why would any real-world physics exist as part of the simulation without having a purpose?”

  “Are you saying the crap we’re doing outside the system, like Haylee’s books, is really still inside the system- Mmm, yeah. Now that I’m saying this out loud, everything I can see, touch, smell… everything is 100% the system. Inescapable. I’m kinda getting immune to mind-blows here, Alt. Not sure what this changes.”

  “Jack,” Alt said, “we’ll have to speak with some knowledgeable NPCs, but it’s possible this technique is a technological gap of sorts. A barrier to advancement. This use of a non-system process could be a refinement that’s been lost for an exceedingly long time- if it were ever discovered at all. I have never scanned an item with a tier before, and I can confirm its file structure is relatively dense with data.”

  “Ahhh…” Jack said, sitting back onto his junk throne at the edge of the virtual world. “This whole existence was intended to piss off the Corruption. These higher levels of system interaction have been here the whole time.”

  Jack collected five more units of the potentially rare crafting substance as he ran further experiments. Nothing happened to the raw system fish he tossed into his non-system boiler, nor did anything happen when he tried to boil a pair of cloth gloves from the Tower. Sand and rocks added to the helm prevented any residue from forming at all, but he wasn’t too surprised.

  With darkness closing in around him and his lonely position lit up literally like a bonfire, Jack decided he’d had enough science for one day and closed his floating notepad.

  He left two torches burning inside the armor/stove and one more outside near the opening before stepping away from his creation and toward the lights of Angelshade. It was trickier going back. He needed to get close enough not to land on a Baezlik snout while also not being seen by anyone inside Town. Not spilling the beans about his abilities seemed like the way to go until he was ready to ask Angelshade to join him.

  The virtual world leapt forward under his boots, and Jack found himself under the looming green canopy of a particularly mammoth mangrove near the gate. After a quick look around, Jack patted the smooth bark and hopped down from its roots to the sandy bar below.

  The six-legged alligators appeared far less active after sundown, and none bothered him as he strolled straight back into Town via the stairs. Someone had put out candles next to the ruddy pumpkins, and Jack frowned when he saw the obvious missed opportunity there.

  Once he hopped up the last step, he noticed the quiet Town was empty again. The south sea wind whistled through the logs of the Wall and despite its shelter, Jack felt a sharp cold biting at the tip of his nose.

  He walked straight for the large Inn hoping it was late enough for most Townsfolk to be done with dinner, but this was a close-knit Town and Jack’s entrance into the warm common room drew the eyes of a whole table.

  “Am I intruding on anything?” Jack said, his hand still on the door.

  The Mayor and his two brothers were there, the dragon mask Hero with his girlfriend, and a few others.

  “Nonsense!” said a thin young man with a white apron as he popped up from the group. “Get in here and warm up by the fire, traveler. I’m Nakker the Innkeeper and I’ll be over with a mug of something spicy and take your order. Good?”

  “Good.” Jack nodded as he phased out his sword and switched into his more casual black and gray cloth attire. As they were all still watching him, Jack sent a nod over to the Mayor’s group before he turned and sat as far away as he could.

  The Inn was similar to the simple layout of The Eye, but the walls were a salt and pepper black and white bricks and it smelled as if he were inside a warm pumpkin pie.

  He looked into the “Well Constructed Fire” as he struggled with the decision to show the innkeeper the tier 2 salt he’d just processed. This NPC was probably the best person to know anything about it- given Jack’s experience with innkeepers and their surrounding ingredient knowledge. He settled on holding his cards close to his chest for now as the man named Nakker came back.

  “Peppered Cream. On the house,” the Innkeeper said as he shuffled up behind Jack and placed a frothy mug on the table.

  “Hey thanks. I’m Jack and I’ll be looking for food now, and then a Rest Bonus room and breakfast. Do you have open beds?”

  “It’ll be just you, then, your highness?”

  “Ah, call me Jack. And yes, it will be just me.”

  “Well, there’s no fancy room for ya. Even worse, the third-floor loft is all that’s left. Most don’t like it with the howling outside and the chill inside. It, and an extra blanket, is all I can offer so far as rooms go.”

  “That’ll be fine,” Jack said, sitting down as he imagined building a simple space heater. “I’ll take it.”

  “Very good. I’ll charge ya in the morning after yer bonus breakfast. Now, can I interest you in our Charred Tail Kebab? Eel pie? Gourd soup? What do ya crave?”

  “Nakker, I would like you to bring me whatever you are proudest to make. What does Angelshade taste like? Go wild. If you have the ingredients to spare, I have the coin.”

  The other man pulled back and beheld Jack through slitted eyes as he stroked his bare chin.

  “Alright, I take your meaning- I do indeed- and I shall return with a feast. Three courses!”

  The young Innkeeper nodded deeply and then vanished behind the curtain with a swiftness.

  Peppered Cream was a white chocolate mocha laden with whisky and the froth on top tasted like spicy cream soda. The group of others in the far corner resumed their banter behind him, and Jack swiftly felt the warmth of strong drink spreading through his gut. Then Nakker came back with the first dish.

  “Red Rind Bisque with roasted Elder Seed,” he announced as he placed a steaming bowl of what looked like pink oatmeal with red flecks throughout. The savory scent made Jack’s mouth immediately produce an excess of saliva and he thanked the man before diving in.

  The flavor was nutty, salty and sweet, and Jack was scraping the bowl with his spoon when the Innkeeper returned with a new dish and another full mug of Peppered Cream.

  “Braised Baezlik Rib with Chime Root reduction.”

  It looked like stew on a plate and Jack easily tore into the soft lizard meat. As the strange, rich flavors melted in his mouth, he noticed the buzz of inebriation press on the edges of his mind and consciously decided to switch to water from here on out.

  “And finally,” Nakker began with an excited smile behind his beard. “Baked Sour Swamp Sticks beneath Skyberry glaze.”

  “This is insane!” Jack said. Sitting before him were long white cookies made from thin rolled dough twisted into spirals all swimming in deep blue sauce that screamed sweetness.

  “You are pleased with the taste of A
ngelshade so far?” Nakker asked and Jack turned to face him.

  “Dude, I considered myself lucky to have such a talented Innkeeper back in Blackmoor Cove, but I’ve learned today that she has solid competition on the other side of the world. You have a true gift.”

  “It’s rare I’m asked to show off my sizzling!” The other man paused to rub his chin and study the rafters above. “Hmm, Blackmoor- that still The Eye o’ the Storm?”

  Jack’s face lit up. “It is! You’ve heard of it? Demi the Innkeeper is a good friend of mine. You should see what she does with fish.” Homesickness and the absence of Lex flared up within him for a moment, but Nakker answered and easily pulled him back into the moment.

  “Oh, aye. I heard of it when I was a boy from my father. He was a man inspired, and that Inn’s fame was no small part of his drive to make the Wind Bent Bough as widely known. Ah well, I’m glad to hear the place hasn’t yet succumbed to the Corruption.” The joy from feasting royalty faded from the Innkeeper’s green eyes as he dipped his head once more. “Please enjoy this final flavor of our receding world, King Jack.”

  With a sigh, Jack turned to look at the confection through a different lens and felt his stomach twist under the weight of his situation. He’d been able to forget for a little while.

  “We’ll save Angelshade,” Alt whispered. “My modeling shows there has never been such sweeping change coming to this virtual world. Just keep doing what comes naturally, Jack.”

  He thanked the research vessel AI and called for another spicy mug of Peppered Cream as his focus turned once again toward abusing some of the tricks he’d recently learned.

  Halfway into the drink’s warm depths, the Mayor of Angelshade appeared in his periphery. Jack looked over and saw three others with him. His unmet brother, the dragon mask man, and the mousy woman who’d embraced him. Everyone else had left.

  “Do you mind if we have that talk, Jack?” the Mayor asked. “I heard from our tanner that you’ll be leaving in the morning.”

  “Absolutely,” Jack said, standing up to greet them properly and he Inspected them as they were each introduced.

  Roth - Townsfolk: Mayor | 98% Proficiency

  [Health: 5/5]

  Relationship -

  [Disposition: Hesitant]

  His brother.

  Hagos - Hero: Guardian | Level 67

  Captain of the Guard (Makeshift) | 93% Proficiency

  [Health: 3,602/3,602 | Mana: 3,050/3,050]

  Relationship -

  [Disposition: Skeptical]

  The hero with the dragon mask.

  Sevik - Hero: Lancer | Level 56

  [Health: 660/660 | Mana: 300/300]

  Relationship -

  [Disposition: Hopeful]

  The young woman with rust-colored hair.

  Asarah - Townsfolk: Wildlife Warden | 59% Proficiency

  [Health: 5/5]

  Relationship -

  [Disposition: Reserved]

  “Asarah is my daughter,” Mayor Roth said as Jack shook her small hand.

  “I will once again express my sorrow for your family’s loss,” the King of Blackmoor said sitting with all four of them filling the bench on the other side of the table. “None of us planned on being where we are now. But here we are.”

  The woman started talking immediately, her coppery eyes locked on his.

  “My mother passes to Proxy and an Irrelevant King with a chained Queen pop from the bog to pay their respects at her service, then climb the Tower- just the two of you, with no Rest Bonus. Then, the same Queen proceeds to die inside while you pop out and deny her loss while gleefully indulging celebratory feasts. If I am free to ask a question, it will be what the Demon’s bile is going on here? And if you rule your distant lands with honor, you’ll answer me true.”

  Jack sat back on his bench as the young woman leaned forward. Was he going to lie to these people? Should he? All four of them waited for an answer.

  “Okay,” he said with a sigh. “A lot is at stake here. If I tell you the truth, I need to know if I can trust you too. So, how about we get right into it. Would any of you try and stop me if I plan on taking back the closest fallen Tower?”

  After they shared glances of confusion, Mayor Roth answered.

  “Recapture a Dark Tower? Such a deadly feat is impos-”

  Jack held up his hand for a stop. “Sorry, no. I don’t care if you think I can or can’t. Answer the question. Would you try to stop me from taking the fight to the Corruption?”

  “I would not,” the Lancer said, and Jack shifted his eyes to the dark-haired Hero with gray in his temples. It was a good sign, but King Jack tried not to show any emotion until he was sure of the others.

  “Why would we stand in the path of a madman?” said the ancient Guardian.

  “Good answer,” Jack said with a firm nod. “The Supreme Mayor of Ivyset Crag seems to believe it’s blasphemy to antagonize the Corruption. Now why would someone think that?”

  “You fled from the Crag…” Mayor Roth mumbled, his focus shifting to the white wooden table as he thought for a moment and then lifted his eyes to Jack’s. “I cannot say whether or not you can trust us, for we still do not fully know your goals or methods to reach them. However, I will say that we are no friends of the glittering pebble to the west. If you are worried about someone from Angelshade running to tell Ivyset Crag your secrets, you can leave the worry behind you.”

  Jack nodded. “May I please ask for you to elaborate on your relationship with your neighbor, the highest-level Town in the land?”

  Asarah spoke up again. “The last time a representative crossed the Corruption to visit, I was merely a babe and new to the world, but I shall never forget overhearing the sour complaints to my father that Angelshade had endured existence beyond their estimates. They have forsaken us to our fate.”

  “Many here have accepted the inevitable,” Sevik said. “The world is fading.”

  “I see,” Jack said, coming to a decision. “Well, I’m going to tell you that my kingdom fights to take our world back.”

  The Mayor’s brother, Hagos, crossed his arms. “Your people will only die sooner.”

  “Wrong,” Jack said, initiating a system invitation with Roth.

  Kingdom Membership Offered - King Jack of Blackmoor

  Capital Town: [Blackmoor Cove]

  Connected Towns:

  [Emberstone]

  [Doveport]

  [Pinefall]

  Offer invalid - Inroad not found

  Cancel

  Jack continued as the intelligent leader of this ancient Town scanned his side of the interface.

  “Your Mayor is now looking at a list of Towns that make up the Kingdom of Blackmoor. The Heroes and Townsfolk to the North have taken back two Dark Towers and we are only getting started. I spawned with several unique advantages, but I don’t expect you to believe that so I will choose to trust you and prove it.” He paused and turned to Hagos. “Of all the equipable gear that drops in the Tower, name one type.”

  His white eyebrows came down. “What?”

  “Cloth boots? Two-handed staves? Maces? Plate gloves? Just pick a type.”

  They all looked at each other again and the makeshift Captain of the Guard sighed and said, “Shields.”

  “Shields it is,” Jack said then summoned the first low-level piece of equipment he had in his inventory and placed it to the far-left on his side of the table. Then, he summoned another and another. He continued talking as he layered the unique Tower-drops like playing cards. “The Queen of Blackmoor was shackled by the twisted Orchid Oracle of the Crag because of the threat we pose to the Corruption, and we barely escaped that vile creature. Lex is now chain-free and seeing to affairs at our castle on the other side of the world because I possess the ability to change where in Subroutine Sana my party Exits. For this ability to gain new destinations, I need to first Exit normally- which is why I stayed behind. Once we stumbled into your Town, we decided that we want to come ba
ck here and rescue Angelshade and all of the many Proxies that have done their duty to stand against the fading world.”

  Jack finished talking as he laid out the 20th shield and then canceled the Kingdom offer.

  “That’s more than 16 items,” Asarah said, her vivid eyes wide.

  “Yup, and I have 490 more shields in my nearly infinite Inventory space. Now, are we about to become friends and seize the fires of change, or are you all going to waste more of that precious ticking time doubting me?”

  He looked over to see unchecked tears streaming from the Mayor’s red-rimmed, blue eyes as he stared into empty space where the Kingdom offer interface must have been. For a moment, Jack regretted using the words of his newly dead wife’s eulogy against him, but the ruler of Angelshade started nodding.

  “We are with you, King Jack.”

  - 12 -

  The group talked and planned within the Wind Bent Bough’s common room right up until all climbing Heroes were in danger of losing their Rest Bonus, and despite his Tower nap and the strange lodgings, Jack slept straight through until breakfast.

  Most of the other Townsfolk and Heroes coming to eat shot him odd looks, but he easily forgot about everyone when Asarah escorted the three Heroes over that they had agreed to send into the Tower as per the plan they’d established the night before.

  Sevik the Lancer, whom Jack knew. And Yatts the Level 59 Light Mage and Belda the Level 59 Fighter, an older couple that he’d never met.

  “You’ll do fine,” Sevik said before he kissed the Mayor’s daughter goodbye. “She taught you everything you’ll need to dominate the wild bezys.”

  Asarah drank in his love and then opened her eyes to focus on Jack.

  “If Sevik does not come back from the far edge of the world in 15 days, I will sprout wings and hunt you down, King Jack.”

  Jack put his hand over his heart. “His safe return is my top priority.”

  She nodded once and then left them to eat, and he couldn’t help grinning over how well she and Lex were going to get along.

  Nakker was an award-winning chef, but still only had access to limited ingredients. With no dodge or movement speed choices, the seared lizard tail wrapped in bog roots filled in well enough. None of the Heroes at his table spoke beyond cordial pleasantries as they shoveled food in their mouths, but Jack knew they’d been instructed to save the interesting questions until entering the Tower.