by Amber Heart
He sighed, closing his eyes to think for a second, weighing up the pros and cons, ‘Come in.’ He opened the door further to let her in and then walked to his mother’s chair. ‘If you start shouting, you can get out.’
‘Understood.’ She said, staying stood up near him. ‘The Captain still has your badge and gun.’
‘Why? I don’t need them anymore. I’m moving back to England.’
‘Cut the crap, no you’re not.’ She scoffed.
‘Why shouldn’t I? There’s nothing here for me anymore.’ He shrugged, playing with a loose thread on the chair, avoiding her gaze.
‘Yes, you do. You have a good job, good friends.’
‘I have that in England too. The only difference is that I used to have a mother and a girlfriend here. Now I don’t, nothing’s keeping me here.’ He was acting stubborn and she knew he was doing it to piss her off.
‘Stop being a dick. The precinct wants you to stay, you’d be a big loss.’
‘What about you?’ He asked, standing up.
‘What about me?’
‘Do you want me to stay?’ He pushed.
‘Like I said, the precinct-’
‘No.’ He closed the space between them, standing inches away from her. ‘Do you want me to stay? Not the precinct, just you, Olivia Hardy, do you want me to stay?’ She couldn’t find any words. Of course she wanted him to stay, she wanted him as a partner, as a friend, but standing so close to him was making her heart race. ‘I guess that’s a no.’ He sighed, stepping back a little, disappointed. ‘Have a nice life.’
‘No! Stop it! Just fucking stop it! Stop being a pathetic child.’ She shouted. ‘You have no reason to leave. You’re just being dramatic because we’re not close anymore. People grow apart, Damien. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.’
‘And which is this?’ He asked, pointing between them.
‘It’s both.’ She sighed and he stepped close again. ‘I don’t want you to leave.’
‘Why?’
‘Why do you need to know?’ She stressed.
‘Do you still love me?’ He asked, lowering his voice. ‘Please, I need to know.’
‘You know I still love you.’ She sighed. The next thing she knew, she was being kissed, his hands gripping her waist hard. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing herself as close as she could to him. Their kisses were hungry, desperate and their hands scrambled for each other’s clothes, trying to get rid of them as quickly as possible. She pushed them towards his bedroom door, kicking it shut behind them with her foot.
‘Stay.’ She whispered against his lips before they tumbled onto the bed, her hands tangled in his hair. ‘Just stay.’
Olivia could feel every muscle in her body when she woke up. It was early, barely even light. Damien was asleep on the other side of the bed, she could see the scratches and bruises she had left all over his neck and shoulders. She was sure she had a few of her own too. She wanted to pull him close, tell him that everything would be okay and that they could work things out… but she couldn’t.
She crept out of bed, collecting her clothes. She didn’t want to face him. She left the apartment as quickly as possible, heading home for a long shower.
Chapter Seven
‘You left this at my apartment.’ A file dropped in front of her and she looked up to see Damien, with a box in his hands.
‘You came back?’ She smiled a little, feeling both smug and guilty at once.
‘I guess my heart is in New York.’ He shrugged, sitting down at his desk. ‘Even if it doesn’t stay the night.’ He gave her a disapproving look.
‘I guess you’ll just have to give it time.’ She said. ‘But you’ll be my partner?’
‘Yeah.’ He smiled.
The case wasn't anything too challenging, just a series of car thefts in the area, but it was enough to make them work together. They decided to go on a stakeout that night and, towards the end of the shift, they both started packing their bags.
‘You ready, Hardy?’ He asked, looking across the desk and seeing she looked uneasy. ‘You okay?’
‘Yeah, it’s just… this is hard, you know? Being around you again.’ She sighed, logging off her computer. ‘I hate pretending like nothing ever happened.’
‘We just have to keep work and everything else separate.’ He reasoned.
‘You almost weren’t working here after your performance yesterday.’ She smiled, starting to walk down to the parking lot, leaving him to follow.
‘I bet you’ll bring that up a few times.’ He chuckled. ‘Look, I just want to be partners like we used to be, we were good together.’
‘I think maybe the best way to do this would be if we forget this ever happened.’ She suggested, getting in the car, and setting off.
‘I don’t know, the bruises from last night are still quite fresh.’ He chuckled. ‘But, all jokes aside.’ He paused. ‘I don’t think I could ever forget about us.’
‘Dame.’
‘No, I can’t. It’s going to take me a while to get over you. I can’t lie.’ He admitted
‘I know. It’s been hard trying to get over you too, and last night didn’t help us.’
‘One last time, eh?’ He joked.
‘Maybe not the-’ She paused. ‘Dame, he’s there.’ Why did perps always get in the way? Olivia was already out the car, running for the guy. She pulled her gun and he stopped, putting his hands up. The arrest was easy.
‘Captain!’ Damien called as the pair of them walked back into the office. ‘Hardy and I are partners again. We’ve made up.’
‘Yes. I can see that by the state of your necks.’ He smirked and the whole squad heard him.
‘Are you back together?’ Jason and Becca asked in unison.
‘No.’
‘So, you’re seeing other people?’ Asked the sergeant.
‘No. This was just… We’re not back together.’ She struggled to explain. ‘It just happened.’
They had to deal with a few more questions but they were eventually left alone.
Three weeks later, the precinct was nearly back to normal. Olivia and Damien soon started joking with each other again but their flirting remained to a minimum. They were both still a little sore about the subject. The captain started assigning them bigger cases together, trusting they were back to normal again.
Damien was finding it hard to be around Olivia as just her partner and everyone else in the precinct could tell. He wanted her back more and more with every day that passed but he couldn’t tell if she felt the same. He knew that if they kept doing cases together, he’d do something he’d regret.
‘Captain, may I have a word?’ Damien asked, walking into the office and shutting the door behind him.
‘Macken! I was just about to come find you. I’ve got a triple homicide case for you and Hardy.’ The captain smiled at him, reaching for a file from his drawer.
‘With all due respect, sir. I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘Why not?’ He asked.
He looked over his shoulder into the office, making sure no-one was coming into the office. ‘I’m... struggling with my feelings for her at the moment, sir.’ He stuttered to explain. ‘I know we work well together but I think I need some time... apart.’
‘Alright. I’ll sort something else out.’
‘Thank you, sir.’
‘Dismissed.’ He nodded.
Damien was in the locker room getting ready to go home. He turned to put something in his bag and his locker slammed shut behind him.
‘What the hell, Macken!’
‘Olivia?’
‘I just got kicked off the homicide case.’ She scoffed, hands on her hips.
‘What?’
‘Yeah, because you don’t want to work with me anymore!’
‘Liv.’ He stuttered. ‘I swear, I didn’t mean for - I told the captain-’
‘What’s wrong with you?’ She asked, clearly annoyed. ‘Who am I
&n
bsp; supposed to work with now?’
‘No, come on, you’re just-’
‘Not the partner you wanted, huh?’
‘Of course you are!’ He was struggling to find the right words. ‘I’m just struggling at the moment. I can’t be around you right now!’
‘This sounds fucking familiar.’ She pointed a finger at him. ‘One chance, Macken. Why’d you get me get kicked off?’
‘I didn’t mean to.’ He stressed. ‘I told the captain I needed some space. He offered us the homicide case and I meant he needed to find you a different partner, not the other way around.’ He explained quickly and she seemed to calm down.
‘I’m trying really hard to trust you and you’re making it so difficult.’ She sighed.
‘You can trust me. I swear, I’ll sort this out with the captain.’
‘You better. I need a case like this.’ He remembered a conversation they’d had over dinner once, where she’d told him she wanted to go for sergeant one day. She needed some big cases under her belt if she was to ever even stand a chance.
‘I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve been clearer. I’ll speak to the captain tomorrow.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘Okay, I’ll go talk to him now.’
‘Thank you.’ She sighed and turned to leave.
‘Liv.’ She turned back.
‘Yeah?’
‘Do you want to go for a drink?’ He knew it was a long shot.
‘First round’s on you.’ She called over her shoulder and he smiled to himself.
Olivia was waiting at the bar for him, a bottle of beer open in front of her. She was looking down at her phone and didn’t notice him till he sat down next to her.
‘Good news. You’re back on the case.’ He smiled, ordering himself a drink too.
‘So we’re on it together?’ She asked, hoping he would have changed his mind.
‘No, I’ve got a very interesting drug case coming my way.’
‘Oh.’
‘I wasn’t trying to be a dick when I said I needed time away from you.’ He sighed, taking a drink. ‘It’s really hard to be so close to you and know nothing’s ever going to happen again. You have it all figured out.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You just don’t give a shit about me anymore.’ He shrugged and she turned a little on her stool to look at him.
‘You really think I don’t give a shit?’ She seemed confused, as opposed to upset.
‘You come into work like nothing ever happened between us.’
‘Because I’m trying to be professional and get on with my job. I didn’t decide to just stop caring for you.’ She said, bumping his elbow with hers playfully. ‘Do you think I’m that cold-hearted?’
‘I can’t read you anymore.’ He shook his head.
‘I do care about you, Damien, more than I do about most.’ She admitted. ‘I know it’s hard and I’m sorry it looks like I don’t care, but I want a partner I can trust on this case.’
‘You want me on the case with you?’
‘I trust you with my life. Please, you don’t have to work with me ever again if it’s that hard but I need a guy who knows what he’s doing for this case.’ Her eyes were pleading with him.
‘It might take some convincing, but I’ll ask the captain.’ He smiled.
‘Cheers.’ She smiled back at him.
‘Cheers.’ He said, clinking their bottles together.
It took them five weeks to solve the homicide case, five weeks of being in each other’s company, day and night, working a lot of overtime. They worked in the office most of the time but occasionally ended up in one of their apartments, talking into the early hours of the morning. The rest of the squad kept an eye on them; everyone could see how close they were again, how easily they were getting on, but they also knew the consequences of the fall out. Half-way through the case, Damien was close to ruining what they had.
Damien was waiting for the right moment to finally ask her out again now that the case was done. They were celebrating at the bar together after filing the report at the office. They’d invited everyone at the office but no-one took them up on the offer, leaving them alone to drink away the hours.
‘We did it.’ Olivia beamed. ‘I love it when a big case gets closed.’
‘Me to.’ He agreed. We’re still a good team, it felt like old times.’ He smiled, tilting his glass her way.
‘Like old times.’ She clinked them together. ‘It was easier back then.’ She was a little tipsy.
‘How long ago are we talking?’
‘A few months ago, when your mom was alive and we were together.’ She sighed.
‘You miss those days?’
‘Of course I do. It was so easy being with you. The hardest part of my day was deciding what we were going to eat, or what movie we were going to watch - not that it mattered anyway because you’d be begging for it twenty minutes in.’
‘I never begged.’ He laughed.
‘You may as well have.’
They continued talking about anything and everything and it just felt right to be so open with each other. She was finally comfortable with him again. He’d really missed it. Missed her.
‘Look, I want to ask you something.’ He said, the mood turning more serious than it had been.
‘What is it?’ She asked, her head turning in confusion.
‘There’s going to be no easy way to say this.’ He sighed. ‘And I don’t know how you’re going to react... but things have been great between us. Don’t you think?’ She nodded. ‘So, I was wondering, if you’d consider going on a date. With me.’
She sat back, a little shocked at his question and she seemed to sober up instantly.
‘Damien.’ She sighed and he could feel that he was losing her.
‘I hurt you, believe me I know I hurt you, but I was hurting too. I never should have broken up with you. I was an idiot but I’m me again, Liv. It would work this time.’ He was desperate for her to say yes. He put his hand on hers and she didn’t pull away.
‘I’ve missed you, I really have.’ She smiled. ‘And there’s been times when I’ve held my phone in my hand for hours, wondering if I should call you, wondering if you want to call me and it hurts, it really does... but nothing hurt more than that day in your apartment. I can’t do that again, Dame.’
‘I was a mess, my mother had just died and I didn’t know what to do-’
‘And I had to deal with it for days without you. And even when you found out, you acted like you were the only one who cared about her.’ She argued. ‘It really hurt.’
‘But nothing like that will ever happen again.’
‘You can’t say that. We have dangerous jobs, Dame. Anyone we know could get hurt or killed, we could get hurt, and I don’t know how you’d react.’ She was struggling a little. ‘I want to be with you, I really do, but I can’t take that risk. I’m sorry.’ She stood up.
‘Where are you going?’
‘I need to go home.’ She leaned down to hug him, hiding the regret on her face.
‘What about your drink?’
‘I’ll see you at work, Dame.’ She kissed his cheek and left.
That night, Olivia tossed and turned in bed for hours. She could hardly sleep, and when she did, Damien plagued her dreams. She woke up reaching for him but he wasn't there. She couldn’t get him out of her head, couldn’t forget how hurt he looked when she said no to him. Surely, one date couldn’t have done them any harm, just one more would stop her from missing him. She felt so alone these days. No Amanda, no Damien, Becca was getting busier and busier, her family were so far away. She broke down in tears, alone in bed. She grabbed her phone to call him but thought better of it. She couldn’t just use him when she needed him.
She was glad she wasn't working the next day, she didn’t know what she would say to him, but the feeling of regret didn’t leave her all day. She half expected to see him walk through her door; they’d seen each other every day for the last five we
eks. Maybe, if she’d said yes, he would’ve been waking up beside her, like she wanted.
A week later, it seemed as though they’d forgotten about him asking her out. They’d got through far worse things than that so it didn’t affect their work. They weren’t joking about as much but they chatted happily, waiting for more cases.
The Captain gave them an undercover case for the weekend, they had to keep an eye on a particular motel where they expected a big drug deal to go down. Backup would always be nearby but they were expected to blend in with the other guests.
‘I hate motels.’ Damien sighed, putting his suitcase in one of the undercover cars. ‘They’re so dirty and-’ He pretended to gag.
‘They’re not that bad.’ She laughed, dropping her case next to his.
‘True, it's like an upgrade for you.’ He joked.
‘Will you ever stop teasing me for being messy?’ She asked.
‘Not since you just left two black banana peels on your desk. No.’
‘Hey, at least they’re bananas and not crisps or chocolate. I learned a few good habits off you.’ She smiled.
‘Hmm. Come on, I’ll drive.’
When they arrived at the motel, they reminded each other of their covers, making sure they both knew the same things. They were supposed to be a new married couple, heading to Florida for their honeymoon, taking a break at the motel for the weekend before going.
‘Well, hello. How can I help?’ Asked the woman at reception.
‘Hi, I booked a room for a Mr and Mrs Brady.’ Damien smiled. Olivia was smiling brightly next to him, her arm linked around his.
‘Oh, the newlyweds?’
‘That’s us.’ She smiled, reaching up to kiss his cheek.
‘Right this way.’ The woman led them to their room and handed over the keys, leaving then alone rather quickly. They opened the door and Damien sighed. The room smelled damp and everything looked old and overused, especially the bed.
‘Jesus, this is going to be two days of hell.’ He muttered. Olivia pushed him into the room and rolled her eyes. It was already late in the evening and they both wanted to get some sleep. They needed all the sleep they could get since they were planning on doing the bust the next night.
