ODD NUMBERS

by M. Grace Bernardin

  Peggy ended her song and everyone applauded, shaking her and Frank out of their private reverie.

  “You see what this old music does for people,” Peggy said and Allison realized she was talking about them. Loud applause erupted, along with a few hoots, hollers, and whistles. These older couples seemed to be enjoying the amorous attentions of the two nearly as much as they did.

  “Uh, oh! Busted!” Frank said and they both blushed and laughed with embarrassment.

  “This next song is for you two young love birds out there,” Peggy said. She sang “Hello Young Lovers” from The King and I.

  Unfortunately Frank had bucket seats in his car so Allison wasn’t able to snuggle close to him, but they did hold hands and kiss at stop lights.

  “What exactly happened tonight?” Allison asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “On the dance floor. Between us.”

  “I don’t know but whatever it was I like it,” said Frank.

  “I haven’t made out in public since high school,” said Allison. “Oddly enough it was also at a dance. I remember it was in the gym and some song by Bread was playing, Baby-I’m-A-Want-You, I think it was.”

  “And you were slow dancing?”

  “No, I was on the bleachers actually. Kent wasn’t much of a dancer. But it’s funny how you remember things. It felt the same as it did tonight.”

  “Except the onlookers were a little older this time around,” said Frank and they laughed. “Oh, well, they probably got a much bigger thrill out of it. Actually I don’t think I’ve ever made out in public. This is a first for me.”

  “Well, of course, Frank. You’re far too distinguished to succumb to such a vulgar and public display. So what made you do it?”

  “It was Peggy’s voice. It cast some kind of spell over me.”

  “Seriously, what’s happening between us?”

  Without a word Frank pulled into the darkened parking lot of a strip mall, stopped the car, and turned off the engine.

  “What’s this, we’re parking? I haven’t done this since high school either,” said Allison.

  “We’re going to talk,” said Frank turning toward her.

  “Really?” said Allison, surprised by this unexpected candor.

  “Sure. I can be a sensitive 80’s kind of guy when the situation calls for it. I know that women need to talk about things, to dialogue, to…oh, what’s the new buzz word you women use?” He snapped his fingers in an attempt to jar his brain into remembering.

  “Process?” said Allison.

  “Process, yes that’s it.”

  “You women!?”

  “What’s that?”

  “You referred to my gender as ‘you women’.”

  “Well, what should I say? You chicks? I don’t think that would go over very well.”

  “You men need to try processing things for a change.”

  “We do. We just don’t do it out loud. But for your sake, I’ll try.”

  “How big of you to condescend to my weak womanly level.”

  “Why do we always bicker, Allison?”

  “We’re not bickering, we’re processing.”

  “Okay, okay. Enough processing this subject. Let’s move on to the next item on the agenda. You start,” Frank said.

  “The agenda?” Allison said half teasingly, but also half seriously for she got the impression that Frank was viewing this whole thing sort of like a board meeting. Each person was to report and hopefully some kind of consensus would be reached. “Okay, so where exactly do I start?” asked Allison, somewhat discombobulated.

  “You compared this whole thing between us tonight to the time back in high school with Kent on the bleachers when you made out to Bread. You said, and I quote, ‘it felt the same as it did tonight.’ What exactly did you mean by that?” asked Frank.

  “Okay, here goes,” said Allison with a sigh. “I meant I was falling in love for the first time back there in high school and I haven’t felt that way since. Until tonight with you on the dance floor. I was suddenly this foolish seventeen year-old again and I didn’t care who knew how I felt. And now I’m just a little afraid that I’ve said too much because maybe you don’t feel the same way and it was all just Peggy’s voice and the music and the dim lights, and what I saw in your eyes was nothing really, just my own imagination, just my own wishful thinking.”

  “Take off your seat belt.” Frank was unfastening his seat belt as he spoke.

  “What?”

  “I know we’ve got a gear shift in between us to maneuver around, but if we’re going to talk seriously about this then you’ve just got to be in my arms.” At last she understood his meaning and in one gigantic flurry of awkward movements, the two had scooted next to one another until they were embracing. The discomfort of having only half their backsides seated and the other half suspended somewhere in mid-air, not to mention the problem of the obtrusive gear shift which seemed to be lodged against Frank’s tailbone, seemed only a trifle for a pair of lovers who simply had to be close to one another. Frank kissed her.

  “Look in my eyes again,” he said and Allison did. “What you see there is not your imagination. You want to know something? I was prepared to be completely cavalier about this whole thing tonight because I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.”

  “And what is it you feel, Frank. Is it real or are you simply on the rebound from Vicky? Are you just latching onto me in a desperate attempt to forget her? See, I manipulated this whole thing, the ballroom dance classes I mean, just to get close to you.”

  “I know,” he said with a smile. “And I went along willingly.”

  “I’m afraid I pushed it. I’m afraid it’s too soon.”

  “You’re just afraid Allison. And so am I. We don’t know what the future holds. I know it’s sudden, but don’t you see, we’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for. This is the way it should have been right from the start. I loved you the first time I saw you but what could I do? You were engaged to another man. If I had any idea you didn’t love him anymore I would’ve been at your door night and day, but I had no way of knowing that. I had to forget you, to force you out of my mind. Then Vicky came along…”

  “But you did love her. You said so yourself.”

  “Well, sure I did, but that was different.”

  “How so?”

  “I knew deep down it had no real chance of working out though I tried to convince myself differently. But this–this could work.”

  “Do you still love her?”

  “I don’t know,” Frank said seeming confused and frustrated. “I suppose if I saw her again I would still have some feelings. What about you and Kent? I could ask the same thing about you two.”

  “I already told you. I fell out of love with him a long time ago.”

  “Then there’s no problem the way I see it.”

  “You really think it could work?” Allison said, thinking it all too good to be true.

  “I don’t see why not. I mean look at the way we bicker. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone you’ve got to be able to bicker with them.”

  “We don’t bicker, we process.”

  “Process. Exactly.”

  “And we dance together,” Allison said.

  “There you go,” said Frank. “Resolved.”

  “Resolved,” Allison agreed. “Shall we shake on it?” They shook hands then kissed.

  “Can we move back into our seats now?” Allison asked.

  “I’m not sure I can,” said Frank. “I think the gear shift may have done permanent nerve damage,” he said lifting his legs back around with a groan as he awkwardly scooted back into the driver’s seat.

  It wasn’t until they pulled into the parking lot of Camelot that Allison realized what Frank had actually said… ‘If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone you have to be able to bicker with them.’ The rest of your life, she thought. The rest of my life. The rest of our lives. />
  The two lovers were silent, their arms around each other as they walked slowly, dreamily into building 3300. Allison realized that she was comfortable with the silence. Whenever there was silence between her and Kent it was because there was nothing to share. But this was different. This was a silence that didn’t need words because there was so much to share and no hurry to share it. They would have time. They had the rest of their lives.

  They entered the apartment building and passed by the first two doors. The door on their left, Tim’s apartment, was dark and quiet since it was Saturday night and still too early for him to be in. To their right was Vicky’s old apartment, vacant, still and lifeless. It had been occupied for a short time since Vicky moved out less than six month ago by a pharmaceutical rep; one of those modern American professionals, busy with work, traveling his territory, always on the go, and seldom at home. He moved out very suddenly after just a couple of months. That particular corner of the building seemed to be cursed or haunted and Allison wondered what ghosts might’ve driven out the previous tenant. Allison and Frank simultaneously picked up their pace as they passed by and looked straight ahead, just as if this were some uneven spot on the ground that one stumbles over every day until the self is finally trained to step over it; the unconscious mind always prepared for its coming while the feet and the will automatically take over.

  They passed Sally’s door and it too was strangely silent, dark, and locked up tight as she was presently away, floating through the Caribbean on yet another singles’ cruise. Sally’s absence made one stop and wonder if perhaps a light were burnt out in the hallway. The corner by the stairs seemed so dim, owing to the absence of light from her living room which typically flooded the hall through her almost always ajar door.

  “Hey Sally, wake up,” said Frank pausing to bang on her door. “You’re missing out on some good gossip here.”

  “That’s right. Sally’s out of town,” said Allison with a chuckle. “No wonder this place is so quiet.”

  They kissed right there by the stairs in front of Sally’s door.

  “That’s something I never thought I’d do,” said Allison after the kiss.

  “It’s been a night for firsts,” said Frank and together, arms wrapped around each other, they resumed their walk upstairs.

  They arrived in the small space of hallway between their two doors with its dim light overhead and gazed down the darkened hall to Barb’s apartment. No sign of life there either.

  “It’s so quiet here tonight,” said Allison in a whisper. “We’re the only ones in the building.”

  “Why are we whispering?” said Frank in a whisper.

  “I don’t know,” said Allison, still whispering. “I suppose we could yell if we wanted to. Why don’t we?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Make some noise. Like this…wahoo!” Allison hollered in her best cheerleader form. “C’mon Frank, give it a try. It’s very therapeutic. Oh, c’mon, don’t be a stick in the mud. Give us your best rebel yell.”

  “All right, here goes.” Frank smacked his lips together, stretched out his arms to give his knuckles a good crack, and took a deep breath as if this was an exercise that required the utmost concentration. With a look of great intensity he let out an enormous rebel yell. “Yeehaw!” he shouted and together they giggled as if they were doing something terribly naughty.

  “That was strangely satisfying,” said Frank resuming a whisper.

  “I don’t know,” said Allison looking around. “I’m just afraid someone we haven’t accounted for is going to poke their head out of a door and start yelling at us.

  “You know, it feels so strange, the two of us being together here like this. It’s like we’re an old married couple and we’re back home from an evening out. The sitter’s left and the kids are asleep. I’m sorry, was that a presumptuous thing to say?” Frank shook his head with a tender smile that put Allison’s insecurities at ease. He drew her again into his arms and kissed her.

  “Now what do we do?” Frank said. What to do, indeed. It was as if they didn’t dare budge from this spot in the center of the hallway. It was their sanctuary. This small space of floor right here in the hallway between their two apartments seemed suddenly sacred, consecrated, as if they were suspended in time right there on that spot as they clung to one another.

  “I think we both turn around and go into our respective apartments. I know I don’t want to. I’m afraid once I step out of this spot the spell will be broken. But we have to break it. We have to go back to our own worlds and think about things.”

  “I’ll tell you what; this will be our spot,” Frank said. “Right here in the hallway. Let me see what time it is,” he said looking at his wrist watch. Allison looked at her watch too. It was two minutes until twelve o’clock.

  “It’s almost midnight,” Allison said.

  “I have seven ‘till,” said Frank and they held their wrists out together, comparing times.

  “My watch always runs fast,” said Allison.

  “Of course, that’s because it’s attached to your wrist,” Frank said. “We’ll just say midnight. Close enough. Let’s meet back here tomorrow night at midnight.”

  “Right here?”

  “Yes, in this exact spot. Our spot.”

  “And then what?” asked Allison still puzzled by his suggestion.

  “I don’t know,” said Frank, and then looking her in the eyes he said. “Let’s turn around, step into our dwellings, close our doors behind us and think about things as you so aptly put it.”

  “Then meet back here tomorrow at midnight?” Frank nodded with that tender smile of his. They kissed, turned around, and approached their doors with the sound of keys jangling, knobs turning, and the finality of doors closing behind them.

  *****

  At 12:00 A.M. the following night they opened their doors at the exact same moment and stepped into their hallowed space.

  “I thought I would get here first,” Allison whispered.

  “I knew you’d think that so I arrived five minutes early.”

  “You’re not early; you’re right on time,” said Allison looking at her watch.

  “I beg to differ,” said Frank. “I am on the correct time. If you keep living your life five minutes fast you’ll soon be into tomorrow and you’ll miss out on today.”

  “Are we processing again?” said Allison. Frank crossed his arms and teasingly smirked. Allison noticed he was wearing his plaid flannel robe and tan leather slippers, and the effect of him standing there with that expression on his face in a robe that should belong to a much older man made her laugh out loud.

  “Shhh,” Frank said trying to stifle his own laughter.

  “That’s right. We’re not the only ones in the building tonight.”

  “Correct. No rebel yelling and no cheering,” whispered Frank. A moment of silence followed in which they stood in their sacred space simply gazing at one another. It was only a moment and they were in each others’ arms, kissing with an urgency that surprised Allison and seemed to surprise Frank as well.

  “I feel like cheering and yelling,” Allison whispered directly into Frank’s ear.

  “Me too,” said Frank, rocking her back and forth in his arms.

  “Now what do we do?” said Allison. Frank let go of her and stepped back. He reached in the pocket of his robe and pulled out a small box. Allison recognized it as a jewelry box. She quickly put her hand to her mouth in an attempt to cover the gasp of surprise which escaped from her lips. Frank opened the box and dropped to one knee. “He’s going to ask me to marry him,” she knew at once.

  “Will you marry me, Allison? I know this is sudden and you don’t have to answer right away, but I just had to ask you tonight. Too much time has slipped away from us already. I don’t want to waste anymore time because we don’t know how much time we have. Anyway, just tell me you’ll at least think about it.”

  Allison stood in stunned silence staring at the diamond rin
g. How did he get a ring so quickly she wondered? Did he go out and buy it today? Of course it was always possible, but then another thought occurred to her.

  “Forgive me, Frank but I just have to ask you this. Did you buy that ring for Vicky?”

  Frank rose to his feet and his face blanched. He popped the lid to the box shut and stuck it back in his robe pocket. “Yes, I did,” he said hanging his head. “How did you know?”

  “I just had a hunch.”

  “She never wore it, Allison. She never even saw it. I originally bought it with the intention of giving it to her for Christmas. She never knew anything about it. Please believe me.”

  “I do, but what do you expect me to say, Frank? These things mean something to a woman. I look at that ring and I just can’t help thinking I’m your second pick.”

  “I guess that was a pretty thoughtless thing for me to do, huh? Offer you a ring of engagement intended for another woman. But you’ve got to believe me, I’m over her. See, I really believe this ring,” he said patting his hip pocket where the bulge from the jewelry box could be seen, “was intended for you all along. I just didn’t know it at the time.” He dropped again to one knee and looked up at her. “Please forgive this stupid fool of a man who would never consider you anything but his first choice.”

  “I do forgive you, Frank,” she said and her eyes blurred with tears. How could she possibly say no? “And I don’t need any time to consider your offer. My answer is yes. Yes, Frank, I will marry you.” Allison’s face felt as if it would split open with glee. She thought this is what a marriage proposal should be like. Never had she experienced this kind of exuberance with Kent. How could she say no?