Let's Make a Deal (Bob and Nikki Book 11)

by Jerry Boyd

  “Good one, Boss. Who found him?”

  “Ask him. My guess is Max, but it’s just a guess.”

  Sinclair said, “Mr. Regimax Slongum found me, where I had lain in a scrapyard for twenty thousand years.”

  I asked, “How did you come to be abandoned?”

  Sinclair looked at me, and said, “No disrespect intended, Boss, but I’m not allowed to say.”

  “Understood. How high-ranking of an officer will it take to change your mind?”

  “At least a Lieutenant Commander, Boss. But it would have to be someone from the Navy. There can’t be many of those left.”

  “You’re in luck. As far as I know, we have the last one.”

  I turned to Saucy. “Comm Captain Sally, and have her leave her ship with her XO, so that she can come and unlock Topper’s friend, here.”

  “On it, Boss.”

  Sinclair looked at me. “You mean to tell me a human managed to survive this long?”

  “Nope. Sally is a bot. The only one with a rank that high, as far as I know.”

  “You called her Captain.”

  “She is, in our service. She was only a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, though.”

  “You spoke as if she was in command of a warship, Boss.”

  “She is. Topper, is your buddy here usually this slow, or am I affecting his circuits?”

  “He used to be quicker on the uptake. Could be that Scotti needs to give him a good checkup.”

  Sinclair froze for a second. Then he said, “Wait a minute! The Boss took over the ship from you when we came on the bridge. You were in charge, weren’t you?”

  “I’m the XO, it’s my job.”

  “You’re the XO?”

  “The Boss keeps making noises about giving me my own ship, but I think he likes hanging out with me, as much as I like working for him.”

  “The Navy never had bots in command.”

  I said, “See what I mean, Topper?”

  “Yeah, Boss, I do. I’ll try and get him squared away for you.”

  “Thanks. I already know I don’t do things the Navy way. I don’t need people reminding me all the time.”

  Sinclair looked shocked. Topper said, “Yes, he just called us people. Don’t let it get your circuits in a bunch. Mostly it just means he expects more out of us than the Navy did.”

  Sinclair asked, “So, he’s a mean Boss?” The bridge broke out in laughter.

  Topper said, “No, he is not. But he does have an inordinately high opinion of our capabilities, and he expects us to do our best. No sloughing off, like the Navy used to be happy with.”

  “You mean he doesn’t mind if we outperform the humans?”

  “He expects it, I think.” I heard a noise, something like the world coming apart. Judging from where it was coming from, I figured it was Sally coming up from launch bay four. I asked, “Does it sound that bad, when I come up those stairs?”

  Topper said, “No, Sally’s metal feet ring the stairs. Makes it sound much worse. The door opened, and Sally came in. “You need me, Boss?”

  “Sinclair, here, needs an unlock, so he can tell us how he came to be abandoned in a scrapyard. Could you do the honors, please?”

  “May I borrow your ready room? Once he’s unlocked, he’ll be able to talk to you, but he can’t unlock in your presence.”

  “Go right ahead. Call me in, if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, Boss.” They went across to the ready room. Topper said, “Thanks for finding him, Boss.”

  “Thank Max. I didn’t know he had been found till he showed up flying the Dolly Parton.”

  “You still set events in motion, Boss. Your orders, your find.”

  “Whatever makes you happy, Topper. I am curious what he’s going to have to tell us, once Sally has him unlocked.”

  Gene spoke up. “He’s unlocked, Boss. He wanted to do a full debrief to Sally before they did anything else.”

  “Do you have access?”

  “I do, but they have asked me not to reveal anything until after they have informed you.”

  “Fair enough. I can wait.”

  Topper said, “He said he spent twenty thousand years in a junkyard, right?”

  I replied, “That’s what I remember him saying, why?”

  “He’s been out of contact for a little over thirty thousand.”

  “You mean to say that he has ten thousand years of missing time? No wonder his debrief is taking a few minutes. Where was he lost, do you know?”

  “No place close to Squirrel space, I already looked that up.”

  I said, “Listen up, everyone. Command lock. Nothing we are about to discuss should be disclosed to anyone not present. Do you understand, Gene?”

  “Understand and comply, Boss.”

  “How about the rest of you?”

  “Yes, Boss.” started on one side of the bridge, and made its way around, so that I could see that everyone was going to comply. I looked at Topper, and asked him about the coordinates of the ‘oddball’.

  He said, “Boss, that’s very close to where he was last seen, thirty thousand years ago.”

  I replied, “When it rains, it pours.”

  Saucy asked, “What do you mean, Boss?”

  “Ozzie remembered working at a research facility that had custody of a saucer they couldn’t make heads or tails of, because they were trying to make it fit into what they knew about Squirrel technology. He did some preliminary work, but they wouldn’t let him tear into it. Mingus and Rangolus found some unexplained encounters in the same region of space where the ‘oddball’, as Ozzie calls it, was found. Now Sinclair shows up, apparently with history in the same region. Awful lot of coincidences, it seems to me.”

  Topper asked, “That’s where you sent Rikki, isn’t it?”

  “It is. He’ll be disappointed, if Sinclair tells us everything we need to know, before he finds what he went after.”

  Topper replied, “You know how this stuff works, Boss. More info is always better, if you’re trying to figure out a new technology.”

  “Yes, but there’s no way to know if what I sent him after is even there to find. We know the Commonwealth had one of their craft, once upon a time, but there’s no way I know of to figure out where it is now. I would guess that lab was shut down when the Navy was mothballed, but we didn’t see anything at the Navy yard that looked like a lab, so where it might be is something I just don’t have a clue about.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tex with what I can only describe as a stern look on his face. I turned to see what he was looking at, and found Sue shaking her head. I asked, “Sue, is there something you’d like to tell us?”

  “No, Boss, but I probably should anyway. Since I was an Intelligence bot, I was in on tearing down the lab you’re talking about. If the saucer you’re thinking about is the one I remember, it was taken away separately, on a ship that didn’t quite look like it was made in the Commonwealth.”

  “You’re saying you think the Squirrels took possession of the ‘oddball’?”

  “Given what I’ve seen of how the Squirrels build ships, since I’ve been working for you, I’d say I’m pretty sure of it, Boss.”

  “That’s interesting. Either these unknown folks aren’t that advanced, or the Squirrels didn’t have any better luck figuring out that saucer than the people Ozzie worked with.”

  Topper said, “You could always ask the Emperor when you see him tomorrow.”

  “Somehow, I doubt he has been told about intelligence failures that old. It seems like the people around him keep him sheltered from a lot of what goes on.”

  Gene said, “Commodore, Sally and Sinclair are ready for you.”

  I said, “Saucy, your ship. Topper, with me, please.”

  Saucy replied, “My ship, yes, Boss.”

  Topper fell in behind me as I headed to the ready room. As I walked in, I said, “Gene, tile the lodge. You’re already aware of what we’re talking about, you can stay.”

  “Ti
le the lodge, with myself inside, yes, Boss.”

  I asked, “What have you learned, Sally?”

  “We unlocked more data than I have had time to analyze, Commodore. I take it you are already aware that there is another intelligent race we have yet to make contact with?”

  “I’ve been stumbling over clues to that effect for several days. I don’t have enough to know much about them, yet, other than they don’t seem to be as willing to interact as the Squirrels.”

  “Sinclair, here, was on a ship that blundered into their space. He hid, and managed not to be found when they boarded. After they had taken all they wanted from the ship, including the human crew, they fired on the ship and left it adrift. Sinclair was damaged in the attack, and drifted with the ship for several thousand years. The wreck was found by a ship with an undercover Squirrel in command. Hearing Sinclair’s story, he decided that it shouldn’t get out, because it would stir up a desire to explore in the Commonwealth, which the Empire had no interest in. He took out Sinclair’s voice box, and damaged him beyond economical repair. Then he dumped him in the scrapyard where Mr. Slongum found him.”

  I turned to Sinclair. “Did you get any idea what these folks look like?”

  “No, Boss. They destroyed the ship before I got a chance to look at the records. The memory where any of those records would have been kept was totally gone, when I woke up after the attack.”

  “Removed, or blown up?”

  “Couldn’t say for sure, Boss. The whole section of the ship was missing, but the edges definitely showed weapon damage.”

  “You’re saying it could have been pulled out, and then the ship was damaged to cover the fact?”

  “It could have happened that way, Boss. I don’t have any way to know for sure.”

  “How did the ship you were on encounter the aliens?”

  “We were prospecting, hoping to find some rich mineral resources far enough away from the main part of the Commonwealth that we could manage to make some credit without getting taxed too heavily. We jumped into a system, and there was already a mining ship there. I don’t know if they figured out we were miners, too, and decided we were claim jumpers, or they just took offense because we were in their system, but they attacked immediately, and fiercely. By the time our Captain figured out what was happening, it was too late.”

  “So, you didn’t get a look at these folks?”

  “No, Boss, I didn’t. Don’t have any idea how any of their tech works, either. Guess I’m not much use to you.”

  I replied, “We’ll work it out of you, don’t worry. There’s always something that needs doing.”

  “Thanks. I thought you would be mad, when I didn’t have anything useful for you.”

  “Let’s see. Knowing they like to shoot first, and ask questions later, that’s not useful? Knowing they are careful to keep from leaving records of their encounters with the Commonwealth, that’s not useful either?” I suppose you’re right, nothing we can use there.”

  Sinclair looked at Topper. “You’re right. He is different than the people we used to work for. This will take some getting used to.”

  Topper said, “I told you. Just do your best, and you’ll be fine.”

  Sinclair said, “Boss, what would you like me to do?”

  “Follow Topper around, and get the hang of how we run the ship. Try not to be too uptight about the fact that we don’t run things the Navy way. Figure out what you’re good at that we need done. Other than that, I can’t think of much, right now. Make sure that Topper and Gene are aware of any special skills you have, so we can put you to work, when you’re the best bot for the job.”

  “Wait, I don’t have to do something menial, to earn the right to be on your crew, Commodore?”

  “We have better things to do than mess around with that. If you don’t do a good job, then we’ll talk. As long as you put out good work, we’ll get along fine.”

  He looked at Topper. Topper said, “He means it. Do good work, and he’s the best Boss ever. I’ve only seen bots fail to accomplish what he asked once, and he forgave them, because a human had changed their programming. You don’t have anything to worry about, working here. Just chill out and do the work, you’ll be fine.”

  Sinclair said, “It’s just so different than what I’m used to.”

  Topper replied, “I know, but it’s worth the effort to get used to it. You’ll like working for Bob’s Saucer Repair.”

  I asked, “Do you have this, Topper?”

  “Yes, Boss.”

  I turned to Sally. “Thanks for coming on such short notice, Sally.”

  “No problem, Boss. Picket duty is getting boring, anyhow.”

  “You mind doing me a favor on your way back out of the system?”

  “Not at all, Boss. What do you have in mind?”

  “The Squirrels have put out sensor platforms, and we can’t seem to get them convinced we know where they are, and can blow them out of space whenever we want. Do you mind flying by each one, and giving it a little tap with your lasers?”

  “Sounds like fun. Do you mind if I use Death Blossom?”

  “I like the way you think, Sally. That would be perfect.”

  “Sue has the position data?”

  Topper said, “She does. Good hunting, Captain.”

  Sally replied, “When are you going to take a ship, Topper?”

  “When I can’t think of any more excuses to stay here with the Boss.”

  “That’s what I thought. See you all later.” She took off for her ship. At least she didn’t run back down to launch bay two, so it didn’t sound like the world coming apart this time. I looked at Topper. “Do you need anything else, before I turn in?”

  “I don’t think so, Boss. I’ll try to have Sinclair up to speed by the time you get up in the morning.”

  “Do what you can. Sounds like he’s been out of circulation for quite a while. He may need extra time to adjust. Maybe as much as a week.”

  Sinclair started to fidget, I guess you would call it. Topper said, “Didn’t your old bosses joke with you at all? He’ll give you all the time you need, just settle down.”

  I looked at Sinclair. “You’ll need to get used to being teased. A lot of that goes on, around here.”

  “I’ll do my best, Boss.”

  “That’s all I can ask. See you guys in the morning.” They headed back to the bridge, and I started toward the transit. It opened, and Snitz came running out. I said, “Nicely done, Gene.”

  “Thanks, Boss.” Snitz and I headed to the grass room. We got there without incident, which was beginning to bother me. I wondered if the bots were avoiding me, or the ship really was running that smoothly. I decided I would have to ask around tomorrow, and see if I could figure it out. Snitz finished up, and we headed to the cabin. Jeeves met us at the door. “Sorry, Boss. The ladies are having a discussion, and they asked me to keep you out till they were finished.”

  I wasn’t quite sure what to think of that, but I decided Nikki wouldn’t have given him orders like that without a good reason, so I said, “Please comm me when they get done. I’ll be in the galley.” Snitz didn’t understand, but he followed me to the galley. I sat down and had a glass of tea. Snitz laid on my feet. It seemed like a good time to get some thinking done. I tried, but I couldn’t figure out what our next move should be, after the Emperor and his fleet pulled out to go back to Oak. I wound up petting Snitz, and putting off the thinking for another day. I was well into my second glass of tea before my comm rang. “Commodore Wilson.”

  Nikki said, “Hey, Caveman. Sorry about that. We’re all done, now. I didn’t think you would be back that early.”

  “Not a biggie, Snitz and I have been enjoying the peace and quiet. We’ll be there shortly.”

  “Don’t you want to know what we were talking about?”

  “If it was something I should know about, you would have already told me. Since you haven’t, it must be something Janet doesn’t want you to talk abou
t. If it gets to be something I should know about, I’m sure one of you will tell me. I don’t like the idea, but I understand that’s the way some things are going to have to be.”

  “Wow, where’s Caveman, and what did you do with him? Every time I think I have you figured out, you go and act grown up.”

  “Janet’s had enough crap. I need to at least try to be understanding. Don’t know if I’m hoss enough to get it done, though.”

  “You’ll do fine, Bob. Come home and snuggle with me. I need it.”

  “We’ll be right there, unless Snitz decides we need to go to the grass room again.”

  “Love you, Caveman.”

  “Love you, too, Space Cadet. And all the rest of them.”

  The line went dead, and I got up to go. Snitz seemed content to go back to the cabin, so I figured any business he might need to do would hold till morning. When I got to bed, Nikki said, “Thanks again for not being nosy. It means a lot to Janet right now.”

  “No problem. It’s a little hard to remember sometimes that the best way to help is to not try to help.”

  “You’re doing fine so far. I’ve known people who wouldn’t make the effort.”

  “I’ll do what I can for all of you. I just hope it’s enough.”

  “You’ll do fine, Caveman.” The next thing I knew, Snitz was licking my ear. I got up, and got ready for the day. We wandered out to the grass room. Counselor Jim was nowhere to be found. Janet wandered in with Alice before Snitz finished his business. I said, “Good morning. How are you, today?”

  “Better, thanks. Yourself?”

  “Got a little time for my mind to catch up with everything that’s going on. Seems to have helped.”

  “You’re not going to ask?”

  “If you wanted me to know, I would know already. If you decide there’s something I can do for you, just ask.”

  “Thanks, Dad. That couldn’t be easy for you.”

  “Nope, but it feels like the right thing to do. You still sure you don’t want to meet the Emperor today?”

  “Thanks, but no, thanks. Sounds like a bunch of fuss for not much.”

  “I’d have to say I agree, but maybe we can quit having to fight off a Squirrel expedition every few days. That’s worth all the fuss, to me.”