He Loves Lucy

by Ann Yost

  Jake leaned back in his desk chair and brushed his fingers through his hair.

  History had repeated itself. Once again he’d fallen for the wrong woman. The difference was that the last time he’d married her and this time she didn’t want to marry him.

  The last time had been rough but this was much worse. He wanted Lucy to be the mother of his children, present and future. He wanted her in his life every single day. He wanted her in his bed every single night.

  Did he have the right to tell her? She was a tenderhearted creature. If she knew about his love she’d agree to a real engagement and marriage. She’d give him what he wanted. She’d give up the plans she’d made for herself. Could he stand to do that to her?

  Could he stand not to?

  Jake knew one thing for certain. He couldn’t continue like this.

  He was, as Moonbeam would say, a hot mess.

  After supper he sat at the kitchen table watching Lucy work on the finishing touches to Lillie’s Martha Washington costume. He stared at the mass of short curls on her bent head and watched her small, pink tongue as it emerged from her mouth during moments of concentration. This was the time to tell her how he felt but lust was making him tongue-tied. He was grateful that the table blocked any view of his lower body even as he wondered how much more of this he could survive.

  “I get the feeling there’s something on your mind,” she said, looking up from the sewing.

  More like something in his pants. He kept the ignoble thought to himself.

  “I think we need to talk about this engagement.”

  She put down the needle in her hand and stared at him. Her blue eyes were huge in her heart-shaped face but he couldn’t seem to read them.

  “Saturday night’s the party,” he went on. “Everyone’s taking this seriously.”

  “I know.” Her voice was subdued. “I feel terrible about letting Hallie and Maxine go to all this trouble. I guess I didn’t think it through. An engagement involves more than just the two people involved.”

  “In our case, the four people involved.”

  She scrunched up her face as if she were in pain.

  “What do you want to do,” she asked.

  “What do you want to do,” he countered.

  She picked up the sewing and pierced the heavy cotton with the needle. He couldn’t see her eyes.

  “There’s only one thing we can do,” she said, evenly. “We have to call it off.”

  He knew he should have been prepared for that response but the words caught him in the gut. For a moment he couldn’t breathe.

  “Couples break up all the time,” she said. “People will understand.”

  “Sam? Lillie? Maxine?”

  She looked up then, her eyes dark with distress.

  “We announced the engagement to placate Maxine,” he said, carefully. “If we break up, I’ll be back in the same leaky boat, with Maxine trying to scuttle me so she can get custody of my kids.”

  “I think you’re wrong about that,” Lucy said, seriously. “Maxine isn’t a gorgon. She’s just a grandma who wants the right to spend time with her grandchildren. That bit about getting a second wife, that was a smokescreen.”

  “The children need a mother, Lucy.”

  “I know.”

  “Are you telling me you don’t want to be that mother?”

  She lifted her eyes. They were even more beautiful filled with tears. He cursed himself for being a coward, for trying to manipulate her.

  “Because I’d like you to be,” he said, knowing it was too little, too late. “I’d like to make the engagement real. And the wedding, too.”

  She went very still. For a moment he thought she wasn’t going to answer him at all. He was wrong.

  “Why?”

  Jake knew what she was asking. He knew, too, that she had a right to know.

  “I’ll admit I’ve had reservations about you and me. I’m thirteen years older than you. I’ve already married one woman who was too young, too unready for marriage. You have a bright future and you’ve barely tasted life outside Eden. It isn’t fair to tie you down at such an early age. But the fact remains that I need you, Lucy. The kids need you. And they love you.” He paused and plunged ahead.

  “I love you, too.”

  The tears overflowed and streamed down her beautiful, heart-shaped face.

  ****

  He’d said it quietly, without passion or emphasis. But he had said it. She wondered if he had any idea at all of what it meant to her.

  And then she started second guessing. Oh, she knew he wasn’t lying. Not precisely. But did he love her the way he’d loved the unfortunate Ariel? The way he’d loved Hallie? Was it a deep and abiding love or a love that would crash and burn if she screwed something up? Did his love include respect? Would he occasionally defer to her opinion on how to spend money? On the murder investigation? On the children?

  Did he love her enough to have a child with her?

  The questions were probably unanswerable. He probably didn’t know yet how much he loved her, or how little. Love wasn’t static, after all. He might love her a little today and a lot in five years. Or it could be the reverse.

  She was aware of his eyes on her. They were very green.

  He’d said he loved her.

  That had to be enough for now.

  She set down the Martha Washington dress, got up from her chair, walked over to him and settled into his lap. He seemed a little surprised and a lot welcoming.

  “I love you, too.”

  Suddenly his fingers were in her hair and one huge hand supported her back. Her arms came around his neck and she felt his lips, firm and warm against hers and she heard his breathing, hot and tight. His thighs shifted underneath her and she felt the hard, pulsing evidence of his desire against her bottom. Everything inside her melted, including her brain.

  “Take me to bed,” she murmured.

  His grip tightened in her hair and his tongue was in her mouth and she sucked on it, hard, trying to get closer. She felt the groan in Jake’s chest. She wriggled against him.

  “Daddy?”

  He ripped his lips away from hers and muttered one heartfelt syllable.

  “Fuck.”

  Lillie stared at them for a long, long minute before she spoke.

  “Can one of you read me another Fancy Nancy?”

  “No,” he barked. “Go back to bed.”

  Lucy stiffened in his arms.

  “But, Daddy…”

  He cut her off with a curse.

  “Back to bed, Lillie. Or no Martha Washington.”

  Lucy stifled her horrified gasp.

  A tear trickled down Lillie’s small face and Lucy bounded off her perch.

  “Come on, sweetheart. I’ll tuck you in.”

  “Will you read me a Fancy Nancy?”

  “If you say yes,” Jake said, his voice low and full of menace, “the engagement is off.”

  For a moment Lucy couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She could however deduce. At least she knew now what kind of love Jake was talking about.

  The kind that didn’t include respect.

  She was tempted to head straight for her own room after she tucked the child in bed but she fought the impulse. Running away wouldn’t solve anything. She returned to her seat at the kitchen table.

  “I didn’t think you’d come back,” he said.

  She shrugged. “I haven’t finished the costume.”

  “Oh.” He moved close to her, put his hands on her shoulders. “Look, I know I hurt your feelings and I’m sorry. I was just, well, frustrated.”

  “I understand. I was frustrated, too.”

  “Really? Do you forgive me?”

  She gazed at him.

  “Is this what’s going to happen every time you’re frustrated or tired or we disagree about something?”

  “No, no.” He jammed his hands into his pockets and paced across the kitchen. “No. Of course not. It’s just that I’ve be
en a single parent for a long time. There’s been nobody to contradict me.”

  “I get it.”

  He looked at her. “Do you?”

  She found a grin for him. “I don’t like it but I get it.”

  His lips twisted into a half-smile.

  “Let me ask you a question.” She tried to keep any anger out of her voice. “Do you expect to share the discipline if we have a child of our own?”

  “Certainly. But that’s different. Sam and Lillie are my children.”

  “I don’t think it’s different, Jake. I don’t think we can have two sets of protocol in the same household. I don’t think it will work for me to be an assistant parent with Sam and Lillie.”

  He frowned. “You have a point. I’ll try to be less possessive, okay? Can you give me another chance?”

  “Of course.”

  His grin widened. He stepped in front of her, took her face in his big hands and brushed her lips with his. Her insides somersaulted.

  Shoot-a-mile. She’d give him a million chances.

  ****

  The following afternoon Lucy stared out the window of the Excelsior’s office. It had been another perfect spring morning but the fluffy white clouds had stretched and darkened like milk spilled on the ground. She knew she should be feeling pleased with her efforts to integrate the Slocums into the household. She knew she should be pleased that she and Jake were not lying to everyone in Eden. She knew she should feel happy that she was actually going to marry the man she loved. And that he’d said he loved her.

  The problem was, knowing wasn’t feeling. She’d agreed to give Jake another chance to treat her as an equal but she was afraid that wasn’t something he could control any more than his gut instinct that she was too young.

  Was the whole thing unrealistic?

  At best it was a risk.

  And then there was the investigation. She’d made up a few charts with the headings MEANS, MOTIVE and OPPORTUNITY. Bits of flotsam and jetsam were starting to coalesce in her mind. She had a favorite horse in the race for prime suspect but there was no proof. Ideally, she should be able to discuss her idea with Jake but she couldn’t see her way clear to do it and she knew why.

  Sex. The issue of sex, or, more accurately, lack thereof, was gumming up the works.

  If she and Jake were going to make this engagement work, they were going to have to blow out the cobwebs. So to speak.

  Lucy clicked off her computer and pushed herself to her feet. Ed looked up from the New York Times crossword puzzle.

  “If you don’t need me for anything I’m going out to the rez to pick up some crafts from Molly Whitecloud’s mother and the other ladies.”

  Ed gave her a long look.

  “You don’t sound like a bride-to-be.”

  “How does a bride-to-be sound?”

  “Excited. Giddy. You know, turned on.”

  Exactly.

  “Getting cold feet?”

  “More like brain freeze. Everything seems kinda topsy turvey.”

  Ed shrugged. “Things have flip-flopped in your life pretty fast. Two weeks ago you told me you wanted to be a war correspondent. Instead, you’re about to be an instant mama.”

  “It isn’t that. I love Sam and Lillie. And I can still work for you. Right?”

  Ed grunted. He looked over the top of his granny glasses at her.

  “Learn to trust your gut, Luce. I’ve learned to trust mine. It invariably leads me to pizza and beer.”

  ****

  Jake couldn’t concentrate on the investigation. Big surprise. He’d made a monumental error last night. A giant goof. He’d kissed his legitimate fiancée good night and retired to spend the night battling his frustration. He was an idiot.

  And there was no excuse. He was thirty-five years old and he knew what he wanted. He wanted Lucy. And she’d been right down the hall. Idiot. He jumped up from his desk, grabbed his hat and headed for the Blazer only to find Lucy wasn’t at the Excelsior, that she’d headed out to the rez.

  Jake’s lips curved into a slow, sensuous smile that he was careful not to let Ed see.

  ****

  Lucy loaded the baskets, balsa-wood whittled animals, beaded bracelets and dreamcatchers into the Jeep. The items would constitute some of the first merchandise for the Maine Attraction, a crafts co-op sponsored by the Eden Chamber of Commerce. It was scheduled to open soon in the space vacated by the long defunct White’s Department Store.

  Cam was chairman of project that would become a link with the Blackbird Reservation. As Lucy watched Molly loading more crafts into the vehicle, she wondered why she hadn’t noticed Cam’s ties to the reservation before.

  Probably because she’d been focused on her own problems.

  Thunder echoed across the woods and fields of the rez.

  “Seems like it’s always getting ready to storm when I’m out here,” she said to the midwife. Molly laughed.

  “At least this time there won’t be any snow.”

  Lucy headed down the lane but, instead of turning left at the main rez road, she turned right. Several miles later she headed north toward the casino site.

  She wasn’t sure why she’d come until she got out of the Jeep and felt the brisk wind against her face and realized she felt calm for the first time since she’d agreed to the fake engagement. It was almost as if the spirits of those who had lived here before had gathered around with bits of wisdom like “don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff.”

  Lucy chuckled as she remembered one of her dad’s favorite phrases. He’d been a good man and she missed him. Jesse Outlaw, though, would never have sat on the floor and played Old Maid with Lillie or Chutes ‘n Ladders with Sam. He’d never have taken Lucy and her brother to a Saturday matinee. Veterinarians worked on Saturdays. At least her dad did.

  Jake Langley was a good man and a good father. Didn’t it follow then that he’d make a good husband? What was she worried about? She stretched out her arms and twirled around like a leaf in the wind. Everything was going to work out. She was sure of it.

  A thunderbolt exploded above her head and the sense of peace was shattered. An instant later a shiver ran up her spine but she knew it had nothing to do with the threatening storm.

  She also knew she’d expected him. Lucy watched as the Blazer tore across the empty field and she was able to smell the scent of strawberry shortcake shampoo even before he got out of the vehicle. She admired the wide shoulders and the long legs, the easy stride. His eyes were the color of new leaves shot with gold flecks. Lucy shivered again. When he got close enough she lifted her arms and he held her tightly and plunged his tongue into her mouth.

  Everything was Jake.

  Lightning cracked and split the sky.

  “We need cover,” she murmured.

  “I need you.”

  He grabbed her hand and they sprinted for the construction trailer as fat drops of rain splashed off their bodies.

  “I’m sorry you got wet,” he said.

  She put a hand on his chest and felt his heart thump hard.

  “Now my outsides match my insides. They’re both wet.”

  “Oh, baby, I need you.”

  “Back at ya.”

  She attacked the buttons on his uniform shirt.

  His big hands closed around her rib cage. They felt warm and strong and when his thumbs brushed the undersides of her breasts she shuddered with pleasure. Jake groaned and recaptured her mouth. Every jab of his tongue made her jerk with pleasure. She abandoned the effort of removing his shirt and slid one hand inside his waistband. His hand spread across her buttocks and pulled her hard against him. She loved it that he wanted her so badly. That he needed her. She melted against him, absorbing his hard thrust.

  “Sofa,” he gasped.

  They fell onto the cheap sofa in the late developer’s office. Was it wrong to make love here? Lucy couldn’t bring herself to care. Every nerve-ending, every ganglion was focused on the man ripping away their wet
clothing. She twisted her hips and arched toward him. She couldn’t wait to hold him. Inside.

  ****

  He’d lost every vestige of finesse but, hell, that was nothing new with Lucy. It was hard to think when every ounce of blood in his brain had surged south. Just knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her—if that was even possible—made him desperate.

  He jerked down his zipper and came up over her, ready to pound into her until they were both mindless but first he had to remove her jeans. Her wet, skintight jeans.

  He cursed and she laughed and together they wrestled the soaked denim off her long, shapely legs. He prayed for enough control to wait until she was ready. His fingers trembled as they slipped in between her soft thighs. Good God. And then her fingers found him, circled him and squeezed.

  “Don’t do that, Lucy.”

  She let go immediately and he cursed himself. Dammit, she was practically a virgin. She didn’t understand. He found her fingers and placed them back on his body.

  “I don’t want it to be over before it begins,” he gasped. “When you touch me like that, when you squeeze, it makes me come. I want to be inside you when that happens.”

  “Now,” she said, urgently. “I want you inside me now.”

  A long, tortured groan ripped out of his chest and his fingers shook as he made a place for himself and thrust. She flinched and he stopped dead.

  “I’ll try to go slower.”

  “No,” she murmured. She wrapped her legs around his waist. “I want it hard. And fast.” She captured his mouth and slid her tongue inside.

  Jake’s hips were like a jackhammer. He plunged and surged again and again, faster and deeper. He needed to come but he wanted to wait for her, needed to wait for her. If he could.

  Using every ounce of his fragmented control, he held himself in check until he heard her breathing hitch and felt her fingernails bite into his shoulders. He heard her shriek his name and he was suddenly overcome with a sense of possessiveness so strong it nearly extinguished his physical desire. Jake held her against her heart.

  “Omigod,” she whispered, when she’d recovered her breath. “That was amazing.”

  “I’m glad you liked it.”

  “Jake?” She must have noticed something amiss. Maybe it was the harsh rasp of his breath or maybe it was the fact that he was still deeply buried inside her. She tightened her legs around him again and slid her fingers into his hair. “Your turn.”