Coming Undone

by Lauren Dane

  He took her face in his hands. “You don’t have to be anything but who you are right now. Let go of what was. I don’t want you to be who you were before. I want you to be who you are.”

  She simply crawled into his lap and curled into him. He kissed her shoulder and they sat, enjoying the moment.

  Deep inside, Brody processed all the things she’d just told him. Loved her for her strength, loved her for her guilt, even as he made up his mind to make it stop. He liked normal too, when it included this woman.

  23

  “You’re going to have to repeat that.” Elise wondered if she’d heard Bill correctly when he recounted the allegations being made about her by the Sorensons.

  “You heard me.” Bill shook his head. “These people remind me why there are days I hate doing family law.”

  “Just be glad there’s a whole country separating them from the rest of us. I am dating someone. Brody Brown. He lives across the street from me, and yes, Rennie is exposed to him. But he and I have been together for a year, this thing between us is stable. He’s a good guy. He plays catch with her, he goes to the zoo and the aquarium with us. Everyone in our circle is a good person. They might have tattoos or they’re musicians. They’re all good people. That’s not unfit!”

  “Elise, I know you’re not unfit. I know Brody through my son and I agree with your assessment of his character. I’ve looked over all the paperwork, I’ve read the reports, I’ve spoken with her teachers who tell me Irene is a great kid, happy, smart. They did say that once a month she’s easily upset for a few days. Around the fifteenth.”

  “It’s them. They call her and she’s a mess for a few days after. They tell her she’s going to come and see them, to ask me to see them. They promise to take her to Europe and to let her ride horses. They give her nightmares. She’s afraid they’ll take her. I’ve never said anything negative about them to her, but they are a cancer in her life.”

  “Are you saying you want to move to end their contact with Irene?”

  “I’ve given it a lot of thought. Yes. They’re not a positive influence on her at all. I try to put a positive spin on it, but it’s been nearly a year since we moved out here and it’s only getting worse. They’ve begun to ask her questions about me all the time, to encourage her to ask me to let them do things they’re not allowed to do. I sent a letter through Frank asking them to stop it. But they’ve now taken to calling my parents and threatening them; they call me too.”

  Bill sighed. “I tend to agree with your assessment about the negative effects of contact with them. The question is, do you want me to push for a dismissal and leaving status as is, or do you want me to answer this change in circumstance with our own? Petition the court to cease all contact with her. It’ll be more costly, and we’ll most likely need some expert intervention here. Interviews, assessments, that sort of thing. But you’d have them out of your life and out of Rennie’s life. If you choose to go this way, I’m fairly certain we can move the case here.”

  “Can I have a few hours to think on it? It’s the fifteenth and I’ve got to get home to be ready for the call. Rennie’s with Brody this afternoon. He took her and her friend Nina to the park. He loves my kid and she loves him. He’s good for her. It’s good for her to see men like him and my father. Steadfast men who don’t hurt women or walk away from them.”

  “Look, I don’t usually . . . If it were me, I’d think getting these people away from you once and for all, totally away, would be worth pursuing. And you’d have the added plus of using this attack on you to do it. Frank agrees, by the way.”

  She stood. “Thank you, Bill. I appreciate it. I’ll leave a message on your voice mail later tonight which way I want you to go.”

  Brody hugged her when she got to the park. She looked around, wondering if someone with a camera was lurking. “Your mom and dad are at your place right now. They went to the deli, said they were making dinner. They said to tell you they were staying for dinner and then they’d go to the lecture. They want to be there when the Sorensons call.”

  “They worry, especially on the fifteenth. How’s Rennie?” “She’s burst into tears twice, but mainly she’s fine. My god, Shorty, these people are making her physically sick.” He looked so concerned it sliced right to her heart. Made her love him even more, if such a thing were possible.

  “I know. I’d hoped it would get better. I try to be upbeat. I have a picture of them in her room; I encourage her to send them things, pictures she draws, that sort of thing. But she took the picture down before Christmas and she won’t send them anything.”

  “Hey girls, time to go!” he called out and they came running.

  “Thank you for being here for her. For me.”

  “Nowhere else I’d rather be and that’s a fact. I always sleep like a rock after hanging out with Rennie for any amount of time.”

  Rennie ran into her mother’s arms and began chattering about her day, about Brody picking them up, how he’d scored them corn dogs and chips and had let them go really high on the swings.

  They dropped Nina home and walked back to Elise’s house. Rennie stayed between the two of them, holding on to their hands tightly. Brody looked worried but kept a smile on his face. Elise’s parents had prepared a nice dinner and they all ate. Or Elise pretended to eat, but nausea killed her appetite. Rennie threw a tantrum over the lack of pickles and then cried more, worried she’d made her pops sad.

  “It’s nearly six, your other grandparents will be calling soon. Where do you want to take the call?” Elise asked as she pulled the cell from her bag.

  “Pops, can I sit in your lap, please? That way if I feel lonely or sad, you’re right there to hold on to.”

  Paul met his daughter’s eyes first and then managed a big smile for Rennie. “I’m not going to turn down any excuse I get to snuggle with you. Come on into the front room then, so you can hear better.” He took the phone from Elise and squeezed her hand briefly before taking Rennie into the other room.

  Elise put her head down for a moment.

  “It’ll be over in ten minutes, Elise. Tell us what the lawyer said today.” Her mother patted her hand.

  So she did and watched both Brody and her mother get angry.

  Brody shook his head. “I’m what makes you unfit? That’s total crap. I’d never do anything to hurt you. Either one of you.”

  She took his hand, pressing it to her cheek. “Of course not. They had a stack of photographs, but Bill pointed out none of them were bad. They’ve been using investigators again, but it was shots of us playing at the park, working in the yard, out for dinner, all totally normal. Rennie was in almost every shot looking perky and happy, and well loved. Someone is always touching her or kissing her. The kid isn’t wanting for attention, I’ll say that.” And then she told them what she’d decided.

  Her mother nodded. “Okay. For what it’s worth, I think it’s the best choice. It’s the big-picture choice. Each time she deals with them, it hurts her. Daddy and I have money set aside for her; if you need help with the legal fees, it’s yours.”

  She smiled at her mother. “Thank you, but I don’t want you to do that. She’ll need the money for college and all that stuff. The studio is doing well. I have some savings too. I’m fine. It’s your emotional support I need and appreciate so much. Rennie too.” It was tearing her up, knowing Rennie was upset right then, knowing she couldn’t stop it. But she was going to. She was going to stop the Sorensons from harming her kid once and for all.

  Brody accepted the hug from Rennie and settled in to wait for Elise to come back downstairs. Her parents had left for the lecture, prompting another meltdown from Rennie. It was tearing Elise apart, watching this insanity and not being able to stop it. Seeing them both in such emotional turmoil tore at Brody. He loved them both and he wanted to make everything all right.

  Still, despite all the insanity and uncertainty, Elise continued to grow and thrive, and so did Rennie. Elise came to him each day more satisfie
d with herself and her position. Her business was booming and she’d begun to turn a real profit.

  And each day, Brody fell deeper in love with her. He couldn’t be happier unless they were already living in the same house. But now that the Sorensons were alleging this crap about her being unfit and his presence being negative, he knew he’d been wise to hold back a bit. Elise needed to focus on this court crap, and then the way would be clear for both of them to move forward. He didn’t want her to feel as if she had to choose.

  It was a challenge to hold back and not take over. He wanted to make everything all right for them both. Wanted to fly back to New York and beat the ever-loving hell out of those two fuckheads and stop them from hurting his girls. He wanted to pay Elise’s legal bills, wanted to yank the phone from Paul’s hands and tell the Sorensons they would not be torturing Rennie anymore. He wanted Elise safe and happy. He wanted to take away the fear of losing Rennie. God knew he spent more than a few hours a day concerned that something would happen and they’d lose Rennie forever. He knew that would kill Elise.

  So he’d continue to be supportive, continue to show them both how special they were, continue to listen and love them because they were his to cherish and they needed it as much as he needed to do it.

  “How does this look?” Elise asked Erin, who sat on her bed and watched as Elise tried on a few different outfits for the court date the following day.

  “You look fine. Pretty. Youthful. Responsible. The kind of woman who loves her kid. All the things you’ve tried on have been lovely.

  “Momma?” Rennie wandered into the room and got up on the bed with Erin, who immediately hugged her.

  “What’s up, Noodle?”

  “I like those shoes, but not with that skirt. Wear them with that blue skirt and the shirt in your hand.” Rennie yawned. It was getting near her bedtime, but she’d been downstairs with Ben, Todd and Brody, playing on the Wii.

  “You’re right. That’s what I’ll wear. Thank you. Now go brush your teeth and wash your face before getting into pajamas.” She bent to kiss Rennie’s head.

  “What’s a cunt?”

  Erin and Elise both froze a moment.

  “What did you just say?”

  “What’s a cunt?”

  “Where did you hear that word?” Elise’s heart sped; if she’d heard them having sex or if one of the visitors to the house had said it, she worried what a judge might think.

  “Mrs. Sorenson said you were one. It’s on the voice mail.”

  “What? On the cell phone? You heard this?” Her hands shook with anger, but she tried to keep her voice calm.

  “No, on the phone here. I checked to see if Nina called while we were at the grocery store, but it was her, Mrs. Sorenson, and she said that word.”

  “The way she used it is a bad word. I don’t want to hear you repeat it. It’s a bad word people use about women. It’s also what some people call your vagina, which sometimes can be all right, but you’re nowhere near the age for that.”

  “She’s mad all the time, Momma. If they don’t like me and you, why do they make me talk to them every month? I don’t want to. I told the judge that already and no one listens to me.”

  Elise had only a fingernail’s hold on her emotions. She sat on the bed and Rennie crawled into her lap, curling into her body. “I’m trying, honey. I’m trying my hardest. But until the court says otherwise, they have a right to talk to you every month. I’m sorry you had to hear that voice mail. From now on, we’ll just have Momma check it, okay?” She hugged Rennie tight. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too.”

  “I don’t want you to worry, okay? When the attorneys talk to you, or the court people, I want you to tell them the truth. It’s fine if you want to talk to the Sorensons, or know them. If that’s what you feel, that’s what you say. I love you no matter what. You can love more than one person, it doesn’t meant you love me less.”

  “Like how you love Brody and me too?”

  She looked at Erin, whose eyes were filled with unspent tears. And then back to Rennie. “Yes. And like how I love Pops and Gran. And Erin too. Your life can be full of people you love. It’s okay with me if you love lots of people.”

  “I love the people who love me. Like you and Pops and Gran. Nina is my bestest friend and I love Miss Maggie and Auntie Erin too. Ben and Todd are nice, Uncle Adrian too. But Brody is my favorite after you, Pops and Gran.”

  Elise had to close her eyes a moment, and Erin broke in, tears in her voice but a smile on her face. “I love you too, Rennie, and so do all my guys. We’re family. Sometimes family is made up of people you’re related to like your mom and your grandparents, and sometimes it’s made up of people you choose to make your family, like Brody and me.”

  “Can I wear my princess dress to bed?”

  “Nicely done on the sympathy pull, Irene. But how about you sleep in pajamas? That dress isn’t for sleeping in. Go on now. I’ll be in to read you a story in a few.”

  “Adrian is reading me a story. He already called dibs on it.”

  “Okay then. But you still need to wash your face and brush your teeth.”

  Rennie ran off in the wake of kisses and hugs, and Elise headed out to the kitchen for the phone.

  Brody sidled up to her and kissed her cheek. “What’s going on? Rennie listened to the voice mail and ran back toward your room.”

  “Dunno. I need to listen to something.”

  Listen she did. Listen as her former mother-in-law called her a whore and a cunt. Listened as they threatened to end her, to take everything she’d ever loved. Her hands shook as she made sure to save before hanging up.

  Brody, seeing her distress and not bothering to ask, picked the phone up and dialed back in, listening to the message. He’d checked her voice mail often enough he knew the code. Part of her liked that, even as his face darkened while he listened and then hung up.

  “You need to send that to your lawyer. Now.”

  “Yes. I want to get Rennie to bed first and then I will. I can’t fall apart right now. She can never see how much they affect me. I won’t allow it.”

  “I’m sorry. I wish . . . I wish I could just poof them out of existence. She’s wrong, you know. Vile and hateful and totally wrong. You’re none of the things she said. Why would she be so stupid as to say all that? I don’t understand it.”

  “They never seem to get that they’ll be held responsible for the things they do and say. She knows I’m not only going to fight back, but that they opened the door with their petition and that must burn her buttons. They can’t argue against a significant change in circumstances when they’re the ones who brought it up. So now the door is open and she can’t handle not being in control.”

  He sighed and held her for a moment. “Just hold on. You’re going to win here.”

  “I hope so. It’s a huge gamble. But she threw up after the last call. I can’t have that.”

  “Nope. And you don’t need to be called a rasher of names on your own voice mail.”

  “The awesome thing was that they were insisting they didn’t know my home phone number. They complained about not having it in case of emergency, saying I held it back. Which I did of course, for this very reason. But this proves they have the number, so pffft to them.”

  She waited until Adrian finished the story before tucking Rennie in and turning out her light. Then she forwarded the voice mail to both her attorneys. She wouldn’t allow them to break her. She needed to be whole for Rennie. Needed to be whole to run her business and live her life. They wouldn’t steal it from her any longer.

  The hearing the following day would be a preliminary one, but an important one. She visited with everyone for a while longer, but they all left by ten, including Brody. He wanted to stay, but she needed the time to get herself together, needed the space. And he’d been grumpy about it, but he’d gone after a kiss and a promise to see her the next afternoon.

  As she lay in bed, listening to
the sounds the house made as it settled, she realized Brody had been incredibly accommodating. He’d worked hard not to be pushy, and although he still was, he was trying. She appreciated that. Appreciated how much energy he put into being with her. He’d called her his girlfriend the month before, and it was true. She’d come a long way in the last year since she’d arrived in Seattle, and he was part of it.

  If luck would just hold out a bit more and keep Rennie where she belonged.

  24

  “Hey, Brody.” Raven plopped herself into his lap and put her arms around his neck.

  He raised his brows at her. “Raven, what brings you to my lap?”

  “I like it here. It’s just the right size for me. You haven’t played with me for a long time. I feel neglected.”

  “We just all went out to play pool last Friday. We played then.”

  “Not that kind of play. Anyway, you brought her and never took your eyes from her all night long. Like I wasn’t even there.”

  “What’s up with you, Raven? I mean, come on, I’ve been with Elise for a year now. Even before that, there was no romance between you and me for at least two years.”

  “Pfft romance. See, that’s what I mean. Before she came along we didn’t need romance. We had fucking. Do you remember fucking?”

  He sighed and moved her so he could stand. “Cut the shit. You don’t want me. Why the hell are you pulling this crap? We’re friends and you’re endangering that. We’ve been friends for longer than we were lovers. I have a lot of shit on my plate just now. Elise is dealing with some personal stuff and I need to be present for her and Rennie.”

  “Isn’t it just like Little Miss Helpless to heap her crap on you, the big man who will fix her life for her. The Brody I knew would have steered clear of a woman like that. Is her pussy magic? What is so appealing about her? She’s got a kid. You can’t go out very often because she’s got a kid! You don’t go to shows anymore. You’ve turned into an old married man and your wife is like a freaking PTA president or something. Don’t you miss exciting women?”