In the Midst

by Beth Martin

  5

  FOR THE FIRST time ever, Roemell was glad to be interrupted by a crying baby. He was pretty sure it was Archy who had begun wailing.

  “Just ignore him,” Tammy said in a husky voice. After only a few minutes of making out, the tent had gotten intensely stuffy and sweat clung to the sides of her face. “I’m sure he’ll go right back to sleep,” she whispered in his ear before kissing his neck and pulling his body into her. She slipped a hand down, reaching below his pants and teasing him with her fingertips.

  Instead of calming down, the crying child was joined by another screaming infant. She made a disappointed groan as he pulled her roving hand away and said, “We should check on them.”

  Letting out a long sigh, she got up from the bed, wrapped a sheet around herself, and checked on Archy. As soon as she lifted him out of the crib, he stopped crying and instead babbled, “Mama-ma-ma.” She lowered him to the floor, holding his hand as he took a few unsteady steps.

  Roemell grabbed Georgy and was immediately assaulted by a putrid smell. “Oh my God!” He held the child at arm’s length and turned his head away.

  Tammy chuckled. “Haven’t dealt with too many dirty diapers, have you?”

  “Surely it’s not supposed to smell that bad.” He carefully lowered the screaming baby back into the crib.

  “Why don’t you go to the fire pit and get some boiled water while I take care of cleaning up Georgy.”

  Roemell bit his lip and took a step back. “You’re the only person who knows I’m here. I was hoping no one else would learn about my visit.”

  “Of course,” she said in an accusatory tone. “You only needed to check on your precious nephew who you just dumped here with me, then continue to string me along—maybe even get some action out of it. Heaven forbid you do anything to help me. You never even apologized for all the shit you’ve put me through!”

  He stood there, stunned for a moment. “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Then get the water.”

  He slipped his shirt back on then left the tent, closing up the fabric door behind him. He hadn’t completely thought through how his sudden departures had affected her, and now felt like the biggest scumbag ever.

  The sun was now high in the sky, and the smell of bacon and sausage came from the gathering area which held the bonfire. He walked slowly in that direction, heading along the pathway between the two lines of tents. The majority of the settlement members were gathered eating breakfast.

  Cole, one of the founders of the settlement, noticed him first. “Well, if it ain’t Rommy boy! Where have you been? Where’s your hoity-toity little friend?” A salacious smile spread across the older man’s face.

  “I’m just passing through,” Roemell said, trying to keep all traces of emotion out of his voice. “I’m fetching some boiled water for Tammy.”

  “You didn’t answer my question. Where’s that delicious lady who followed you here? I never got a chance to show her how I feel.”

  A tall man with dark skin shoved Cole’s shoulder. “Shut up, Cole, you’re disgusting. Don’t you have something more important to do?” Cole huffed, but ultimately wandered off and sat down with the other elders. “Hey, Roemell. It’s good to see you.”

  “Thanks, Bennet,” Roemell said. “You’re the only one who’s glad I’m here.”

  Bennet grabbed a large water skin and slowly transferred hot water from the pot into the skin using a ladle. “Yeah, Tammy was pretty torn up after you left, especially since you clearly left to protect Leona.”

  Roemell shook his head. “I had no idea she still had feelings for me.”

  “Then you’re the only one.” Bennet held out the water skin, and Roemell took it and quickly slipped away from the meeting area. Before he let himself back into Tammy’s tent, he realized he hadn’t seen Alisa, the matriarch of the settlement, at breakfast. Although, she probably wouldn’t be happy to see him either.

  • • •

  Leona’s arms trembled as she tried to keep the bicycle on the road. Even though Benobot was right beside her, she was still acutely aware that she was all alone.

  Suddenly, the front wheel jerked underneath her and she flew over the handlebars. Before her body could slam into the pavement, the android caught her around her waist and pulled her upright. Her arms and legs shook as she stood at the side of the road. After scanning her for serious injuries, Benobot examined the fallen bike. “There is a puncture in the front tire. It needs to be patched to make the bicycle functional. I am afraid we must walk the rest of the way.”

  Robots didn’t feel fear—Benobot wasn’t afraid of anything. It was just programmed to sound polite. She looked at the bot as it lifted the bicycle under one of its arms. It took her a moment to find her voice. “How much farther?”

  “Zero point six miles. At a leisurely pace, you will arrive within 12 minutes.”

  Trying to calm down the shaking in her limbs, she said, “Let’s go.” The android lifted the bicycle easily under its arm and started walking. She took a few unsure steps, but was still rattled by the sudden fall off her bike. “Benobot, could I hold your hand?”

  It turned its head to face her while continuing to stride forward. “Yes, of course.” It raised an arm, and she grasped the bot’s hand. Although she tried to tell herself she just needed an anchor to keep balanced, the truth was that she was acutely lonely. She had thought that the physical touch, even from a machine, would be comforting, but the cold plastic fingers pressed against her palm just reinforced how much she wanted to see Roemell.

  “Is everything all right, Miss Leona?”

  She quickly wiped the fresh tears from her face. “I’m fine. I just have allergies.”

  The walk back felt like much more than twelve minutes, the plentiful sunlight a stark contrast to her mood. When she and the robot arrived at the remains of her house, her body and mind were exhausted. She needed to lay down. Wanting to block out everything that had happened and the world outside of herself, she descended into the clubroom and reclined on a cushioned booth. As she lay there, morbid thoughts swirled through her head: the details of how Roger was abusing Ava, the possibility that Tina’s trail would be dismissed, how Roemell might react when he learned that she had already given all their supplies to Ava.

  Suddenly, the thought that Roemell wouldn’t return at all permeated her brain. He could have an accident, or he might decide to stay at the settlement and never come back for her. Tammy and Roemell had been lovers once. Tammy was incredibly beautiful, whereas Leona carried scars from the fire that burnt down her house, her once smooth legs were now a patchwork of mismatched skin grafts. Tammy had graciously hosted Leona and Roemell while they were at the settlement and currently cared for Ivan, and her optimistic outlook and calming personality—both traits that Leona did not possess—made her a pleasure to spend time with.

  The hard truth was that Roemell would be better off staying with Tammy than coming back to find the mess she had made. She found herself actually hoping he wouldn’t return. He was currently the only person in the world who cared for her, yet she knew he was better off without her.

  Tears flowed from her eyes as she continued to dwell in her misery, and she stayed huddled on her booth feeling sorry for herself for the rest of the day.

  • • •

  By noon, Roemell had already changed three diapers and prepared two bottles. Going through the motions in taking care of babies with Tammy felt surreal. His gut told him this was what he should have done—raise a family with Tammy—instead of being a coward and running away. Helping her gave him a glimpse of not only what could have been, but also what to expect if he stayed. It was incredibly beautiful outside, a perfect day to hang out on the sandy beach. He suspected the children might enjoy the surf and sun.

  “Do you ever leave this tent?” he asked.

  Tammy was sitting on the bed, nursing Ivan for the third time that morning. “Occasionally—to get things for the babies. Othe
rwise, I tend to stay here. Bennet brings me meals, and Julia comes by to gather old diapers and bring freshly laundered ones.” She glanced up from Ivan to see the look of concern on Roemell’s face. “I know it sounds awful, but it won’t be for long. Ivan is already getting bigger and stronger, and soon I’ll be able to get all three boys out of the tent.”

  “Taking care of three babies is a ton of work,” he said, not convinced Tammy was doing as well as she said. None of the children were biologically her own, and they would serve as a constant reminder of the daughter she lost. “Is this really what you want to do with your life?” If he stayed, he’d be able to help lessen the burden for her.

  She sighed. “This is my job now—taking care of the children. The settlement, in turn, takes care of me. They make my food, sweep the tent, wash my clothes. I can’t do everything by myself, but I can at least handle these three.”

  Roemell plopped down on the bed next to her. “Remember when we used to talk about traveling to the East Coast? Visit a city—any city—just to see what they’re like.”

  “Watch the leaves change color and have a snowball fight,” she added with a smile. “We liked to dream big.”

  He brushed her hair back away from her face and kissed her cheek. “I don’t want you to give up on your dreams.”

  “Maybe when Ivan is older and able to walk, the three of us can.”

  Although her tone sounded sincere, he knew it would never happen. Tammy was endlessly optimistic, but in the end, she was a dreamer and not one to take action. She had waited too long to tell Roemell about her pregnancy. Instead of pursuing her passion of cooking, she had accepted the child-rearing occupation which had fallen in her lap.

  In his mind, he could see Leona’s face when she had shouted at him, telling him they needed to do something to stop the terrorist. And they had. She would keep going, fighting for justice. While he was hiding out in the settlement, playing house with his ex-girlfriend, she was securing land to start up the commune before flying cross-country to meet with a federal prosecutor.

  As much as he wanted to rekindle the passion he had once shared with Tammy, he needed Leona. Her determination and dedication were inspiring. Even though their relationship was still new, she was the woman he wanted to be with.

  He stood up abruptly. “I need to go.”

  Tammy extended her arm and grasped his hand. “But you just got here.”

  He shook his head. “Tammy, you’re doing important work and I care about you, but my place isn’t here. As soon as I’ve gotten this commune off the ground, I promise I’ll come back for Ivan—and for you. Right now, though, I’m needed elsewhere.”

  She squeezed his hand tighter, pulling him closer to her. “You’re such a bastard.”

  Placing his free hand on her cheek, he looked into her eyes. “I’m so sorry I never said goodbye the last time I left. You deserve better. Of course I still care for you, but we both need to move on.”

  Her eyes started to water and she bit her lip. In a quiet voice, she said, “Just get out.”

  He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. Then he knelt down even farther and kissed his nephew’s head before leaving the tent. He took a couple deep breaths to steady himself before walking through the settlement and continuing south toward the Poole Estate. Hopefully, Leona had already found someone willing to give away some land for them to build the commune. He couldn’t wait to get started.

  As he walked along the dilapidated road, he felt optimistic. He was glad he had made a choice and was confident that he’d made the right one.

  • • •

  The sun was setting on what had been a beautiful day. Roemell whistled a tune, even though he was approaching the foreboding, charred remains of what used to be a grand mansion. At the front door, he was greeted by the communication bot the VanStraten woman had left with them.

  “Good evening, Mr. Roemell,” the bot said as Roemell passed through the entrance.

  He still wasn’t comfortable having a robot around and chose not to respond. The house was completely silent aside from the chirps of a solitary bird which had gotten trapped in the hall. He poked around the house looking for Leona. After searching the bedroom wing and the old study, he went all the way down to the basement to check there.

  Pulling out the flashlight from his pocket, he clicked it on and surveyed the room. There were dead robots, manufactured for no other purpose than to play the part of party goers, collapsed on the floor and some of the chairs, giving the space a decidedly creepy feel.

  He quickly found Leona laying down on the cushioned seat for one of the booths. Although he probably should have let her nap, he knew she’d be excited about his early return. One of her feet extended past the edge of her cushion, so he placed his hand on it and gave her a gentle nudge while softly saying her name.

  She jerked up, slamming her head into the side of the table. After shrieking in pain, she sat up and held her hands against the part of her forehead which had hit the hard surface. “I thought… you were… Roger…” she said between gasps of breath.

  He had no idea who Roger was, but he tilted his flashlight to illuminate his face so she could see it was just him. “I’m sorry, I should have let you sleep.”

  She squinted at him as her eyes adjusted to the brightness from the flashlight. “Well, I’m awake now.”

  “There’s a beautiful sunset out there. You want to watch it with me?”

  Her eyes wandered, and she looked nervous. “Um, okay.”

  He held her hand and helped her get up from the booth, then grabbed the cushion that had been under her. The bench in the courtyard had gotten rusty, parts of the seat beginning to crumble away, and he wanted something a little more comfortable to sit on.

  Leona led the way out of the club room, up to the entrance hall, then through the doorless threshold leading to the courtyard. When they got outside, he paused and admired the sky. Without a cloud in sight, the expanse above was a smooth gradient from yellow, to red, then to deep blue. He walked out beyond the courtyard to the lawn where little green shoots of grass were just peeking out. After laying down the large cushion, he gestured for Leona to take a seat.

  She sat down facing the sun, but her body was rigid. As he sat down next to her, he focused on her instead of the breathtaking scenery. He gently tucked her short curly hair behind her ear before kissing her on the base of her neck. She didn’t move, staring intently at the horizon, so he placed a hand on the side of her face, guiding her closer to him, bringing her lips to his.

  “You’re so tense,” he whispered. She looked back at the setting sun and gave a timid nod. “I can help you relax if you’d like.”

  “Uh… okay.”

  He scooted to the side and said, “Here, lay down.” She carefully turned and laid back, extending her legs onto the long cushion. He kneeled next to her and gave her another kiss. “You’re so beautiful.” Shifting down, he kissed her neck, “Talented,” then her collarbone, “determined,” and the upper curve of her breast, “and caring.”

  She continued to lie still, looking to the side as the last bit of warmth left the sky. Grasping the waistband of her slacks, he asked, “May I?” When she nodded, he unbuttoned her pants and slowly pulled them along with her panties down until they were both completely off, exposing the extensive skin grafts covering both of her legs. She was self-conscious about her scars, but he thought they only made her more beautiful. Then he kissed her at her hip, then a bit lower at her pubic mound, then lower still. He gently pushed her knees farther apart to give him better access.

  Her body was so beautiful, all he could think of was exploring every inch. He kissed her delicate folds, then started to explore slowly with his tongue. Her breath quickened, a sign he had found just the right spot. As he continued to tease and rub her, her breathing became faster and more labored. “I can’t…” she said. “I can’t… I can’t…”

  He stopped for a moment and asked, “Do you want me to slow do
wn?”

  She pressed a hand over her breast as her chest heaved. “I can’t breathe.”

  Her breaths were so fast and short, he realized what he had mistaken as excitement was her hyperventilating. He quickly got up and moved behind her head, then lifted her up to a sitting position. Taking a seat, he wrapped his arms around her waist and let her lean back against him.

  “Everything’s all right,” he whispered. “Just nice deep breaths. In… and out… and in…” He continued guiding her until her respiration reached a steady pace and her muscles relaxed a little. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I should have double checked that you were ready.” His apology seemed to upset her, and she started sobbing in his arms. He kissed the back of her head and hugged her tightly. “Is everything all right?”

  She continued to cry, unable to speak. After a few minutes, she finally choked out a few words between whimpers. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anything. I should have died in the fire that burned down this place.” She started sobbing again.

  He continued to hold her, even after the sun was long gone and the stars came out. He wasn’t sure if what he did had upset her, or if she had already been at her breaking point. The past few weeks had been hard on them both, so he couldn’t blame her for being a little emotional. He shouldn’t have left her alone, and he felt guilty for even considering leaving her forever.

  6

  AFTER SOBBING IN Roemell’s arms for a while, Leona calmed down a little. She slid away from him and hugged her knees to her chest. She was intensely embarrassed by what had happened and needed some space. When he had shown up, all she could think about was how upset he would be that she’d left their supplies with Ava. She had already been a ball of nerves as he had tried to be intimate with her, and then everything had just spiraled out of her control.

  Even though she was twenty-two, she had never been in a romantic relationship. She had remained under the constant supervision of Bellabot, so even when men visited her family’s estate with the intentions of courting her, the companion robot had recorded sound and video, ready to report any untoward activities to her father. Ava had found ways to get around robot surveillance for her own illicit affairs, but Leona had never been that bold. When she had requested a lover bot, one was immediately manufactured for her. However, the android was so uncanny she’d never actually used it.