My Valentine

by Jaimie Roberts

  When the glasses get nearer and nearer to where I’m standing, I finally flee. For the first time, I’m scared shitless at the thought of being in my own bar.

  Grabbing my coat and car keys, I race out the back exit, still hearing the crashes of glass behind me. I don’t look back as I race towards my car. I left my personal phone upstairs, but I always keep a spare work’s mobile in the glove compartment of my car just in case. Locking myself in, I start the car and haul arse out of the car park, driving just a few minutes towards a desolate area where I can lay my head.

  When I park up and switch my engine off, all I can see is black outside. It looks sinister, but I’d take this over going back to that fucking bar again any day. With a shaking hand, I grab my phone and frantically start looking for Dr Mercy’s number. I light the phone up, noticing it’s almost four in the morning, but I don’t care. I press the CALL button and wait, biting my thumbnail as I hear it ringing.

  On the sixth ring, she answers with a groggily hello. “Dr Mercy, she’s after me! She’s making me suffer. I can’t take this anymore! I thought these pills were meant to make me better?!”

  “Reece, Reece, calm down. You’re getting way ahead of yourself here. Take a couple of deep breaths and start from the beginning.”

  So, I do. I tell her everything apart from my drinking. I can’t get away with hiding anything from her, though.

  “Did you carry on drinking after I left?” When I don’t answer straight away, she says, “Reece, come on now. Tell me the truth.”

  “Okay,” I say with frustration. “I had a couple more after you left.”

  “What have I told you about drinking while on those tablets?”

  “I know,” I answer, banging my fist against the dash board. “I don’t like taking them, though. They make me groggy.”

  “Yes, but they also help. Remember, I had to bail you out last night, putting the responsibility of your welfare all on my shoulders.”

  I swallow, immediately feeling guilty. “I’m sorry.”

  I hear her sigh. “Do you want me to meet you?”

  A massive part of me wants to say yes, but I also don’t want to waste her time. The selfish part, however, wins out. “Yes.”

  “Tell me where you are.”

  I give her the instructions of where I am before hanging up. She asked me to give her an hour, so I use that time to try and calm myself. Putting the radio on, I slink back in my chair and close my eyes as Ciara’s “Paint it Black” softly plays in the background. Little by little, my heart rate slows down, and little by little, I feel myself slipping back into unconsciousness.

  When I suddenly wake with a start, it’s light outside. I blink, rubbing my eyes and stretching my limbs. I check the time on the dashboard and see that it’s well after nine. Shit, where has the time gone?

  I think back to last night, and it’s then I remember that I called Dr Mercy, but she never came. I get out of the car, stretching, and when I walk towards some bushes to have a slash, I notice another car nearby. Dr Mercy’s car.

  Abandoning my toilet needs, I walk up to her car and notice her fast asleep in her seat. I smile.

  She came for me. It is at this point I think of her name. She is no longer just my doctor. She has done more for me than any other would have. In fact, ironically, she has shown me mercy when no one else would have. So, that is who she will be to me from now on. My Mercy.

  Still smiling, I knock on her window, making her jump. I place my hands out calmingly. “It’s only me.”

  She pulls her jacket down from over her before opening her car door. She looks a little dishevelled, and her eyes look red and sore. “Reece,” she says with a croak in her voice.

  “How long have you been here?” I ask.

  “Since around five. I saw you were fast asleep and didn’t want to disturb you. I didn’t want to leave you either, so I decided to wait in my car until you woke up. I think I waited so long that I ended up falling asleep myself.”

  My dead heart swells at the news. “I’m really sorry about all this. You’re going above and beyond. I know I keep saying it, but I don’t how I can thank you.”

  I watch as she digs deep into her jeans pocket and pulls out a small tub of tablets. “You can start by keeping with the tablets, laying off the alcohol completely, and,” she says, handing me the pills, “start taking these.”

  “What are they?”

  “They’re a natural herbal remedy to help you feel calm. Perfectly safe.”

  I study the small white pill box but there’s nothing on them to say what they are. She is the doctor after all, so I trust whatever it is will be safe. I pocket them, nodding my head. “It’s a done deal,” I say, smiling.

  “Good.” She sighs, and then looks around the baron dirt track we’ve been on for the last few hours. “Fancy some breakfast?” she asks. “I’m starving.”

  I chuckle. “Come on. Let’s get back to my bar. I’ll get you some breakfast there.”

  She looks a little serious when she says, “Maybe that would be a good idea. You said glasses were falling off the shelves. We need to check on that.”

  Feeling nervous, I nod. I know I need to go back there and look for myself, but I’m scared to. I was kind of hoping to bypass going in the bar and just take Mercy up to my room. I guess I have to face it sometime. Why not now? The fact that she’ll be with me makes me feel better about it anyway.

  “Okay. Let’s go.”

  Scarlet

  I follow Reid back to his bar with a smile on my face the entire time. The fucker was scared shitless last night. I could hear it in his voice. Now that he has a marijuana based pill to take alongside his antipsychotic drug, he’ll be in the funny farm in no time.

  I feel a deep pang in my stomach when I think of David and James waiting for me. In the last few weeks, David’s been getting us all ready for our forthcoming journey to the United States. He’s there now with James, and I miss them terribly. It never surprises me that I miss James, but it always surprises me when I also miss David. I have to laugh at times as David—out of anyone I’ve ever been with—is the last person I would have considered ending up with. If someone told me over a year ago that this is where I’d be now, I would have laughed in his or her face.

  As we both pull into the car park, I snap myself out of my daydream and concentrate on the task at hand. Operation Make Reid Crazy is now in full effect.

  I park up beside Reid and follow him to the back exit of the bar. He lets us in, closing the door behind him, and when we get into the bar area, Akilah’s there, cleaning the counter as Demi Lovato’s “Sorry Not Sorry” plays faintly in the background. I have to smile at that. I’m definitely not sorry for what I’m doing to Reid.

  As if sensing there’s someone there, Akilah looks up, smiling brightly before saying, “Hey, Brother, Dr Mercy. What are you doing up so early?”

  Reid frowns, approaches the bar, and looks around. Everything is exactly as it was when I left last night, only cleaner. No glass on the floor, but then I knew there wouldn’t be.

  “Did you clean up all the glass?” Reid asks, pointing to the floor.

  “What glass?” Akilah responds. It takes everything inside of me not to laugh.

  “The glass that was all over the fucking floor last night. Didn’t you see it?”

  Akilah shakes his head. “No, brother. It was just how I left it last night.”

  When it seems to dawn on Reid, he turns to me, arms flying in the air. “I told you I’m going fucking crazy.” Immediately, he slumps on his stool like a sulky school boy.

  Walking up to him, I place my hand on his shoulder. “Reece, stop this now. You’re not going crazy, okay? I told you the risk of drinking alcohol with these tablets, and you went and did it anyway. I bet it was just that.” I sit down next to him and watch as he runs his hands over his face. He always did that when he got anxious about something.

  “You’re right,” he sighs. “As always.” He finally looks a
t me, offering a light smile. “I promise I won’t drink anymore. Okay?”

  I nod, smiling. “Okay,” I reply, knowing full well he won’t need alcohol to get the effect I’m after. He just needs to take the marijuana tablets. That alone will make him worse. Add that to what I have planned for him, and he’ll be on his way to the psyche ward in Malaga in no time.

  Just a few more days.

  As much as I’m enjoying watching Reid squirm, I miss home—home in the arms of David and home with James in my arms.

  “Where are my manners?” Reid says, rising from his stool. When he spots my frown, he says, “Breakfast.”

  “Ah, yes. I am hungry.”

  “So you said earlier.” He smirks, moving out back to head for the kitchen, leaving Akilah and I alone in the bar.

  “Is he okay?” Akilah asks, hunching over the bar a little.

  “Reece is fine,” I smile back reassuringly before giving him a wink. Akilah eyes me before looking over his shoulder. It’s like he wants to say something to me, but when I shake my head, he keeps quiet, and goes back to his cleaning. Every now and then, he eyes me, but I just smile politely, waiting for Reid to come back.

  Five minutes later, Reid emerges with toast at hand. “Akilah, can you make us some coffee?”

  “Sure, brother,” he replies, immediately springing into action.

  “Thanks for this.” I look up from my toast and butter, offering Reid a sweet smile.

  “It’s the very least I can do after everything you’ve done for me. Not all therapists would go the extra mile like you have.”

  Picking up my knife to spread the little knobs of butter on the toast, I shrug. “Some people would say I care too much. I suppose it’s in my nature. My father was the same.” Liar. “My mother’s the same too.” Liar, liar, pants on fire.

  “You’ve never mentioned your mum before. Is she back in Scotland?”

  I nod, watching Reid spread the butter on his toast. “Yes. That’s the only reason why I go back every now and then.”

  I see the guilt on his face. “I know there have been a couple of times I’ve called at the weekend, and you’ve been back in the UK.”

  “You don’t have to look so guilty. If I really didn’t want to answer, then I would have turned my work’s mobile off.”

  “But you haven’t,” he replies, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

  “No. As I said. Care too much.”

  “Here’s your coffee,” Akilah says, placing the mugs in front of us. We both say thanks, and for a little while, we’re silent as we eat our toast.

  After a beat, Reid digs his hand into his pocket and retrieves the tablets. He looks down at them again for a moment and says, “I’ve just taken my other tablets you prescribed me. Do you really think these will help on top?”

  I can feel Akilah watching me, so I turn to face him before replying. “Yes, of course. They will work wonders for you. Trust me.” I smile, but again, I want to laugh. Trusting me right now is like asking a starving lion not to eat you.

  “You know as well as I do that I don’t like taking any hard drugs. Marijuana’s fine, but—”

  I place my hand on his arm, interrupting him. “These aren’t hard drugs. This is a natural remedy.”

  “I know that. I’m talking about the other tablets.”

  I squeeze his arm a little. “Reece, you’re not your mother.” He snaps his head to mine and fixes me with his brown eyes. We had talked about his mother on a couple of occasions in his therapy sessions. It was about the one and only time I actually felt sorry for him. He was only a child then. All children are innocent.

  But now, he’s an adult, making adult decisions. Decisions that have deadly consequences.

  “I know I’m not,” he finally says, breathing out some air. “I refuse to be.”

  I shuffle in my seat a little to get more comfortable and lean over so that Akilah can’t hear. “Listen. I know it took a lot of courage on your part to admit that you needed help, but it’s actually one of the first stages to getting better.”

  His eyes look a little more hopeful. “It is?” I nod. “I fucking hope so.” He laughs a little, making me chuckle back.

  “You’ll be fine,” I say, tapping his arm before retrieving it completely.

  “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “It won’t always be like this.”

  No, it’ll be a lot worse!

  We get back to eating our toast and drinking our coffee, only offering small chit-chat as we do. You wouldn’t think by talking to Reid like I am that he would be this murdering rapist. Normal conversations always did bore Reid and me, but here we are, conversing about shitty things like the weather and what car would be best to buy next time, considering the government’s getting rid of diesel.

  “I best go,” I finally say after eating and finishing off my coffee. “I appreciate the breakfast, but I would like to get a shower now.”

  Reid has the guilty face back again. “I keep taking you away from your normal life.” He pauses a moment before saying, “This complication of yours ... is he waiting for you back home?”

  “In Glasgow he is. Not here. I omitted that fact. It’s not just my mother I visit.”

  “Does he not want to live with you out here?”

  I shrug. “He’s a lawyer back home, so his life is there. I can’t blame him for wanting to stay. Asking him to uproot his whole life and practice law in a new country just because of me would be a lot for me to ask.”

  “Why doesn’t he practice law in Gibraltar? I’m pretty sure they take on the laws of the UK over there.”

  I smile, wondering why Reid is even bothering to ask. “It’s something we’ve discussed, and it’s something he’s thinking about.”

  “Tell him not to think too long.” I nod, but decide to move and get going. I’m bored of this conversation now. We’re not even talking about a real person.

  “Thanks again for the toast.”

  “No sweat. I’m going to hit the shower too. I must smell.”

  Waving my hand in front of my nose, I make a face. “Actually, you do smell a bit.”

  Subconsciously, he moves away from me, making me laugh. “Just for that, you can see yourself out.” I start laughing and watch as he walks around the bar. “See you next week, Dr Mercy.”

  “Yes. See you next week.”

  As Reid disappears, Akilah says, “I’ll see you out.”

  I smile. “That’s very kind of you. Thanks.”

  I walk around the bar, following Akilah as we reach the back exit. Once we walk through, Akilah follows me to my car. I turn as I reach my door.

  “How much longer now?” he asks as I pull the handle.

  “After the pills I just gave him? Not long.” Laying my hand on his arm, I smile. “I can’t begin to tell you just how appreciative I am for everything you’ve done.”

  Akilah leans down, kissing me on the cheek. “It hasn’t been easy, but it’s certainly been fun.”

  Grabbing his hand, I give him a little squeeze. “I’ll be in touch. In the meantime, keep an eye on Reid for me.”

  He raises my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. “Consider it done.”

  “Take care, Akilah.”

  “You too, Scarlet.”

  I give Akilah a warm smile as I slide into my car. Once in, Akilah winks, closing the door behind me. I wave as I drive away, thinking to myself how lucky I am to have so many people in my life who are on my side.

  Akilah is David’s contact. It is true that he fled the Congo, but this was after he watched his family being slaughtered. Beforehand, he was made to watch his mother and sisters being raped. He hates murderers, but even more so, he hates rapists. This is the reason why Akilah’s been more than keen to help with my revenge against Reid. He was the one who was at the barber’s that time when he picked a sample of his hair off the floor. He was the one who introduced himself long before, setting things in motion for him to run Reid’s bar.
He was the one who planted the newspaper article where it said my body had been found, and he is the one who has helped set up all the incidences in the bars all those times Reid thought he was going crazy. Without Akilah, I don’t know how we would have pulled this off.

  I smile as I drive home to my little apartment. I’m desperate to call David, but I know it’s after one in LA at the moment. I know he keeps his phone on silent, so, with my hands free, I try his number. Luckily, he answers after the first ring.

  “Scarlet. Just the person I wanted to hear.”

  “You’re up late.”

  “Well,” he says, and I notice the smile in his tone, “a little man, who is currently sound asleep on my chest right now, was hungry.”

  I feel the pang in my chest, but I will it down. With a sultry voice, I reply, “I wish I was the one lying on your chest right now.”

  I hear him groan. “How much longer do you think you’ll be? Did he take the bait?”

  I smile brightly. “He did. It’ll only be a few more days now. I can feel it.”

  I hear him breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank fuck,” he whispers. “You have two boys here who miss the hell out of you.”

  That pang reappears again. “I miss you both, too.”

  I hear him sigh again. “I’m going to get my head down for a little while. I’ll call you again once I’m up.”

  Biting my lip, I will the pain in my stomach to subside when I say, “Give James a kiss on the head for me.”

  “I will. Love you, Scarlet, and we’ll speak soon.”

  I’m shocked when I almost open my mouth to say the words back. Instead, I suck up those words, keeping them lodged in my mouth before swallowing them down. “Yes, speak soon,” is all I say before hanging up and feeling guilty. Why I’m feeling guilty I have no idea. A part of me welcomes these new feelings as they’re nice. They remind me of happier times when I was an innocent child pre-Richard and of when I started noticing boys for the first time. Those flutters in my stomach are just as alien to me now as they were back then.

  But a part of me—the dark part—refuses to allow my heart to feel. People you love only end up letting you down anyway.