Into the Deep

by Samantha Young

  Reading the decision in my wounded eyes, Alex yanked me toward him and curled me into his side. “Come on. Your mom was taking a pecan pie out of the oven when I stopped by, and I am not leaving town until I have myself some of that goodness.”

  “It’s great to see you,” I snuggled into his side.

  “You too.”

  “How are your mom and dad?”

  Alex snorted. “Annoyed I dropped politics.”

  “You told them?” Damn, now I was the only coward between us. The Rosters had pushed politics on Alex since the moment he got into Purdue. He’d taken it as a double major with law to appease them but never had any intention of going into politics. I couldn’t believe he’d gathered the courage to tell them when I still hadn’t talked to Mom and Dad about applying to the police academy.

  My friend scowled down at me. “Please don’t tell me you’re still considering the whole police thing?”

  Unfortunately, Alex being Alex, overbearing but caring, like my parents he’d never wanted me to pursue a career as a cop. It was one of the many reasons I’d uncomplicated things between us.

  “Don’t tell them,” I told him sharply. “I’m still working toward that.”

  He shook his head. “Sweetheart, your head must be a whole bunch of mess right now.”

  I made a pathetic face and nodded.

  Alex huffed in sympathy, hugging me closer to his side as we made our way back to my parents’ house.

  Pots, pans, trays, cutlery, foil, and scraps littered the kitchen. Smack bang in the middle of it was Rick and I. Since Mom and Andie had cooked Christmas dinner, Rick and I were stuck with cleanup duty. My parents and Andie were lying almost passed out in the sitting room watching a comedy while I was elbow-deep in dishwater and Rick was attempting to keep up with the drying so we didn’t have a pileup situation on our hands. Looking at the dishes, I couldn’t believe five people could eat so much.

  “Are you surviving another Christmas with the Redfords, then?” I teased Rick.

  His lip curled at the corner. “You know it.”

  “My sister loved her gift.” And wasn’t that an understatement.

  The two of them had been house hunting for months. Andie found a house in Beverly that she loved, but it was a little over their budget. Rick did okay as a detective but he wasn’t exactly a high flier, and Andie may one day make good money as a psychiatrist but they weren’t there yet. She’d been really disappointed when Rick refused to stretch the budget because she was a goner for the house and the area.

  This morning she’d opened an envelope with documents showing he’d put a down payment on the house.

  My reserved sister elbowed me in the face launching herself at him.

  He smiled, his blue eyes warm with tenderness. “I got that.”

  “Do you like the house too?”

  “It’s a great house to raise a family in. Good neighborhood. I wouldn’t have put a down payment on it if I didn’t like it.”

  “Still, it’s like a half-hour drive into the city.”

  “Longer during rush hour.”

  “Aren’t you going to miss it? You’ve lived in the city for years.”

  He shrugged, still smiling. “Beverly is still the city—it’s just got more of a suburban feel to it. And I’ve got to grow up sometime. We make sacrifices, we compromise. That’s the way it works. You know that better than anyone, Miss Pre-law.”

  Grimacing, I hunched my shoulders at the reminder. “Don’t.”

  “Charley, you need to talk to them again. Aren’t you supposed to be applying to law school soon?”

  “I’m supposed to register to take the LSATs in June after I get home from Edinburgh. If I do well, I start the application process in the fall.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  My expression was a little sheepish, my voice low as I replied, “What do you think, Rick? I’ve made a nice attempt at pretending to compromise with them because I love them and I don’t want to upset them, but this is me. I never do anything I don’t want to do. That is exactly why I keep putting off telling my parents that when I graduate, I’ll be applying to the Chicago Police Academy.”

  My sister’s fiancé’s grin was contagious and I felt a warm glow in my chest at the pleased glimmer in his eyes. “Good for you, sweetheart.”

  I nodded, and even though I was nervous about telling my folks, I felt a sense of peace rest around me at having finally admitted it out loud to a member of my family.

  “So, something I’ve never asked you before because I was trying to keep my nose clean of the issue so I didn’t upset Jim and Delia … but, why a cop?”

  “Why are you a cop?”

  Rick didn’t hesitate. “Because I was too wild. I barely got through a bachelor’s degree. I was partying too hard, and mostly just wasting my time. I was angry and I needed some discipline. It was this or the army, but being a cop kept me closer to home so I could watch over my mom.”

  “I don’t even think I have an exact answer for why I want to be a cop. I know people will say it’s a thankless job and that it involves long hours and the pay isn’t what it should be … and who knows, maybe I’ll get into it and that’s all I’ll see. But I don’t think so. I’ve just always wanted to do this.” Rick grunted and I narrowed my eyes. “What?”

  “Charley, you want to be a police officer because you have a hero complex. Why do you think the nickname Supergirl stuck?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t have a hero complex.”

  “Third grade you masterminded a plan to contain some kid in his locker at recess because he kept stealing the weaker kids’ lunch and lunch money.”

  “Henry Ames,” I nodded in disgust. “His family moved to Lanton in third grade and left in fourth. He was such a little prick.” I frowned. “Did my sister tell you that?”

  He laughed softly. “Yeah. She also told me in sixth grade you led a town search for your friend’s missing tortoise.”

  “Lacey’s tortoise, Micky D. He disappeared out of her pond. She was devastated. Turns out Jackson Emery ‘borrowed’ him and freaked out when I organized the search party. He waited three hours before confessing and his parents ended up buying the entire search party ice cream and lemonade. It cost them a small fortune. Jackson was grounded for a month.” I smirked.

  Rick continued to grin. “Freshman year, you knocked your sister out of the way of a moving vehicle.” His smile disappeared. “Junior year, you tried to save a boy’s life, and then almost took a beating trying to protect another.”

  Glowering now, I turned fully to him. “Is my sister doing a paper on me? Because I will mess her up so bad …”

  He shook his head, chuckling softly. “Sweetheart, she just talks about you. She’s proud of you. She admires you. She thinks you’d make one hell of a cop.”

  I felt a surge of happiness from my sister’s belief in me. “And what do you think?”

  He shrugged. “I think you’ll have obstacles to overcome. Sad but true, but looking the way you do, you’ll not have an easy time of it from some of the male officers. You’ll have to work harder to prove yourself, especially if you’re chasing a promotion. It’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be but it’s still there.” Before my shoulders could slump in deflation, he continued, “But I think if anyone can do it, it’s you, and I’m looking forward to witnessing it.”

  I smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you.”

  “No problem.” He eyed me carefully. “I’ve got something else to say and then I’ll take my advice elsewhere.”

  “Okay.”

  “This kid, this guy who’s messing with your head …”

  I sighed wearily. “Please, don’t, Rick—”

  He held up a hand. “Hear me out.”

  Ready to be lectured on what an idiot I was for even thinking about letting Jake back into my life, what my sister’s fiancé actually told me came as a surprise. And one that confused me even more. “Your sister told me everyth
ing about Jake. And I already know how your dad feels about him, believe me. And I get it. Had I been in Jim’s shoes and watched my kid’s heart get broken, I’d probably want to swing for the guy too. But …” His eyes filled with sympathy and understanding as he said, “I remember being a confused seventeen-year-old guy, Charley. Never mind confused. I remember being seventeen. We seem to expect and yet at the same time, hate, how fast kids grow up today, but no matter how fast we think they’re growing up, emotionally they’re still just kids. Jake was, what, barely seventeen? He’d been hassled for months, targeted unfairly, and then a kid died during a fight with him. That’s not an easy thing to get through, and if you’re the kind of person who would feel to blame for that … well, that kind of blame when you’re just a kid … could he have handled it better? Hell yes. But just because he didn’t doesn’t make him a bad guy, Charley. It made him a fallible kid who’s probably walking around with a whole lot of regret.”

  I was frozen, taking in Rick’s empathetic point of view, and knowing that everything he was saying was what had made me forgive Jake enough to let him back into my life as a friend.

  “I say this because I did a few things I regretted when I was Jake’s age. I hurt someone. I can’t take that back. Neither can Jake. But if he’s trying, then maybe you should at least give him the time to prove he means it. He’ll either prove himself right or wrong, but in the end, you won’t regret not giving him that shot.”

  I nodded. “I appreciate that. I do. However … it’s not really about giving him a shot. I’ve done that. I just … it’s too hard to now.”

  Understanding lit up Rick’s eyes and his voice dropped. “You still …”

  I nodded again.

  Before he could reply, my cell buzzed in my jeans. Since I hadn’t heard from Claudia after I’d texted her that morning, I knew it was probably her. Quickly, thankful to escape our conversation, I dried my hands on Rick’s dish towel and yanked my phone out of my ass pocket.

  “Merry Christmas, Claud.”

  A lot of background noise hit my ears first and then Claudia’s quiet voice. “Merry Christmas.”

  I didn’t recognize her tone and I didn’t like it. “Honey, where are you?” I frowned. “What’s going on?”

  “My dad and I got into a fight,” her voice shook on the words. “He was drunk. He … he’s not my dad, Charley. He told me he’s not my real father.”

  Shock winded me for a minute. “Wha …”

  “My oversharing assholes for parents told me they had an open relationship when they first got married. My mom was seeing an artist. When I was five, Dad didn’t think I looked like him because neither of my parents has green eyes and that art guy did. My dad got a paternity test. They’ve known I’m not his for fifteen years.”

  “Oh God, Claudia.” I closed my eyes, hating the pain in her voice and wishing I could just slam her self-absorbed parents’ heads against the wall.

  She laughed softly, the sound breaking on a sob. “Dad was so callous, you know, like what he just told me didn’t matter. I guess it makes sense why he’s been an indifferent asshole toward me my whole life. And Mom. Mom’s walking around with these big guilty puppy dog eyes and I just couldn’t be there anymore.” She sniffled. “I’m at San Diego International. My flight leaves in half an hour.”

  I nodded. “What’s your flight number? I’ll pick you up.”

  “I’m sorry, Charley, I know it’ll be late.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I waved off her apology. “I’ll be there.”

  She shot off the flight number and I hung up, a weight pressing on my chest for her. My solemn eyes hit Rick’s questioning ones. “Claudia just had the Christmas from hell.”

  By the time Claud’s flight got into O’Hare, it was almost two in the morning. I was jacked up on caffeine so I’d stay awake for the drive. Rick wanted to come with me, but I thought it was better that I collect Claudia myself. She didn’t sound like she was in good shape and having someone around she didn’t know that well might not be helpful.

  Mom and Dad wanted me to stay at a hotel with her in Chicago but I just wanted to get her home to somewhere she felt loved and wanted.

  When I saw her just inside the doors of the airport, I put my arms around her and she started to cry. I held onto her for a long time until she finally pulled back and gave me a wobbly smile. “Have I ever told you you’re the bestest best friend ever?”

  “You’re my family,” I told her quietly, pulling on her hand and leading her out to my car. “Nothing is more important, least of all sleep,” I teased.

  She laughed softly and got in the car while I loaded her suitcase into the trunk.

  As we drove out of Chicago and back toward Indiana, she told me everything from start to finish. Before I’d thought her dad was an ass—now I thought he was scum. The guy really didn’t seem to care that he’d completely destroyed his daughter. He thought it no big deal that finding out the man you thought was your father really wasn’t.

  He hadn’t even called Claudia and she’d been missing for over six hours.

  Scum.

  After a while Claudia lapsed into silence and I glanced down to see her tearing at a piece of paper, her fingers working frantically, nervously. “It’s going to be okay,” I assured her.

  She nodded but didn’t answer.

  How long would it take me to drive to California? I wondered if Rick could help me commit the perfect murder.

  Claudia’s phone ringing made us both jump. We held our breaths as she pulled it out of her bag. Her expression fell a little as she said, “It’s Beck. I texted him while I was waiting for you, but I thought he’d be asleep.”

  “Answer it.”

  She did. “Hey. Did you have a nice Christmas?” she waited and then frowned. “What? No, I’ll explain it later. I’m fine now, though, okay … no, I’m fine … Look, it was a pretty big blowout with my parents but I’m dealing … I’m here, actually. Charley picked me up at O’Hare. We’re driving back to her parents’ house … Well, because I didn’t want to disturb you … Beck, no, I’m fine … it’s nothing … Okay, I promise … yeah, I promise I’ll call you next time … I’ll tell you about it later … Yeah, my girl’s got me … I’m sure … Oh? What happened? … You’re kidding me?” I felt her wide eyes on me. “Yeah. I’ll let her know … We’ll talk later? … Yeah … You too.”

  My heart was pounding as she hung up, knowing that whatever Beck had said, it had something to do with me. Claudia exhaled heavily, her long dark hair falling in front of her face. She tucked it behind her ear and I felt her eyes on me. “He’s pissed I didn’t call him to come get me.”

  “Of course he is,” I muttered, beginning to lose patience with Beck’s behavior when it came to my best friend. All the caffeine, tiredness, Claudia’s shock, and the fact that I knew something had happened probably didn’t help my irritability much.

  “Also … Jake broke up with Melissa the day you guys arrived back in Chicago.”

  As though she’d stood on my chest instead of delivering news, I fought to breathe for a moment, my hands tightening around the steering wheel. I couldn’t speak.

  “Apparently he’s been trying to contact you?”

  Swallowing hard, I nodded.

  “So …?”

  I glanced at her expectant face and shook my head, doing my best to shove the news of Jake’s breakup and all the consequent questions to the back of my mind. “Now is not the time. You’re more important. We’re going to go home and drown your sorrows in chocolate pie. Okay?”

  She continued to stare at me for a moment, her concern palpable, which was crazy considering what she’d just been through. Finally, my best friend let it drop. She nodded and settled more comfortably in the passenger seat. “Sounds good to me.”

  The overbearing nosiness, teasing, and coddling of my family helped Claudia get through the rest of the winter vacation with me in Indiana, but the hurt and confusion in the back of her beautiful eyes
never quite disappeared. When she finally told Beck what happened, the guy jumped on a bus to Indiana and spent the night on my parents’ couch. To my surprise, my parents loved Beck. I’d thought he’d scare them off with his tats and his devotion to a guitar pick, but it turned out Beck was a lot like Jake. He could turn on the respectful charm in an instant.

  After Beck took her for a walk around town to talk, Claudia came back with a glimmer behind her eyes. Whatever he’d said to her had her calling her parents as soon she returned. Dad was at work and Rick and Andie had gone back to Chicago, so Beck, Mom, and I sat in the sitting room pretending to ignore Claudia’s raised voice as she yelled into the phone in the kitchen.

  Twenty minutes later she stepped into the sitting room with a tight smile on her face. “Well, he didn’t exactly apologize.” She shrugged but I could see the hurt she was trying to conceal. I knew by the way Beck’s fingers curled into fists that he could see that too. “But he upped my credit card allowance and offered to book me and my friends on a vacation before we return for classes.”

  My mom looked horrified. “That’s … nice?”

  Claudia rolled her eyes. “It’s whatever …but …” She grinned at me. “I was thinking we’ve got four days before classes begin when we get back to Edinburgh. Why don’t we all take a trip to the Highlands? I mean, we’re in Scotland and we’ve barely stepped outside Edinburgh.”

  “All of us?”

  I still hadn’t answered Jake’s attempts to contact me. Although I was dying to know why he broke it off with Melissa on the first day of Christmas vacation, I was also terrified to discover what he wanted from me. Confused as I was, I wasn’t sure I could handle it if he still wanted to be “just friends.” And yet I knew I wasn’t sure I could handle being anything more. The original reason for me backing off was apparently no longer an issue, but still … I was afraid to be around Jake. Me. Afraid? How crap was that?

  Thus, I didn’t really want to be stuck on a minivacation with him.

  Claudia nodded and hurried over to where she’d dumped her laptop. “Like a cabin or a lodge somewhere.”