“The way that you treated Mia today is disgusting. In fact, I’m embarrassed to even be associated with you right now, let alone, related to you. No fucking wonder you’re single. Here I thought it was some deep inner angst over losing Kat, but nah. That’s not it. It’s because you. Are. An. Asshole.” She pushes her finger into my chest with every word. “You degraded her. Humiliated her. And I am ashamed for you, since obviously, you have no shame.”
My eyes widen. She’s mad, at me? Mia slapped me, and hard at that. If I were a little bitch, I would complain that my cheek still stings, but I’m not, so I push it out of my mind. But for real, Mia is the one at fault here. Dammit, how can my own sister not see that?
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. She left me, Anna. I’m the victim here, it’s not the other way around.”
“Victim, my ass.” She doesn’t stick around to listen to my side, which frankly, pisses me off a whole lot. So, when she turns on one heel and begins heading up towards the guest bedroom that has basically become her room in my house, I just about lose my shit.
“You know that you’re my sister, right? Why can’t you ever take my side in anything? You don’t even know Mia. You don’t even know…”
“I don’t need to know her, to know that what you said to her was cruel.” She doesn’t even pause to look back at me. She just yells her words over her shoulder and continues on about her way. “And you know that I will defend you when you’re right, Adrian, but that shit you pulled today?” She pauses just long enough to shoot me a death glare. “That was fucking dirty and you know it.”
“Maybe she broke my heart!” My sister pauses, gripping the banister with her hand, and tilting her head just enough to hear me. “Did you ever stop to think about that?”
“Nah.” She flips her hair and moves down the hallway. “That’s not love. If you loved her, you wouldn’t have talked to her like that. You might have feelings for her, but after what you said to her today?” She opens the door to the guest bedroom but stands in the doorway just long enough to spit a few more words at me. “I’m not sure you’re even capable of feeling it. anymore.”
Being a prisoner in my own house is something that I’m not used to. Usually, I like being here, holed up in my own space, surrounded by my own things, without having to worry about being on at a moment’s notice for fans or the cameras.
But today, it’s different. Being alone here leaves me with too much time on my hands. Way too much for that matter, because all that I can do is sit here and think about Mia. Anna’s words circle me, making my mind spin, and making me question my own feelings. She’s right, I shouldn’t have said what I did to Mia, but dammit, she was just there, going on about her day as if she didn’t miss me at all. I heard her in the kitchen, laughing and going on about a bunch of irrelevant shit with her friend, as though she didn’t have a care in the world. As if she didn’t even miss me. As if losing me was nothing to her.
That’s what made me snap. I’m not sure exactly what I wanted from her, but it was more than what I got. Maybe I wanted a longing look. Or to see some sadness in those green eyes of hers. Instead, I saw that not only is she happy, she’s fucking thriving.
Oh, yeah. And now she’s a blond, which by the way, is a really damn good look on her.
I’ll never admit that, though. I’ll never admit that I wanted to walk right up to her, pull her off of that stool and push her against the wall, caging her in until she admitted that she loved me. Which let’s be honest-would have probably never happened. That’s because Mia has moved on. She’s obviously happy.
And she’s happy without me. That part really fucking hurts.
“Hey.” Anna’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. She’s standing against the wall in the foyer, with her arms crossed and an indifferent expression on her face. “I think that we should talk.”
I shrug as though I don’t care, but deep down, I do. I really hate when my little sister is pissed at me, and I know that she has every right to be. Earlier, I was being a major dick head.
I ruined a day that was supposed to be special. The day that I’ve been working towards for so long it seems. And as much as I want to blame it on Mia, the fault lies with me. I should have just kept my big mouth shut.
Anna sinks down onto the loveseat across from me, curling her legs underneath her and staring across the room at me. I know that she wants me to make the first move here.
“Look, sis. I’m sorry for the way that I acted earlier.” She barely blinks, waiting for me to go on. “I acted like a real dick and…”
“Yeah, yeah. I know that part. I was there.” She interrupts, and then sighs. “Adrian, look. I’m not going to beat around the bush here, because, why?” Her entire demeanor changes, and the angry look that she’s been wearing since the blow out fades, and in its place is something else. Curiosity, perhaps. Concern, maybe. I can’t really be sure. “Do you really love her?”
She doesn’t give me time to answer.
“And I mean, love her, love her. Love her, like you want to spend forever with her. Love her, like you want to take care of her when she’s sick. Love her, like you can’t imagine a single day without her. Love her, like you want to give her your last name. Do you love her like that?”
I fall silent. I never gave those types of things a thought. Marriage? I mean, damn. Yeah, I want that someday, and trying to imagine doing it with someone who isn’t Mia doesn’t fit. Of course, I’d love her if she was sick. I’d fight until my death if it meant I could heal her. I can imagine a day without her, but the day blows, you know? Because everything is better when she’s with me. Every day becomes the best day ever, even if it means that all I’m doing is laying on the couch with her in my arms. She’s changed me, fixed me, without even trying. She doesn’t care about who I am or how much money I make. She laughs at my jokes which usually, kind of suck. She makes me feel so good, even beyond the bedroom. So yeah, if that’s what Anna is asking, then yes. Hell yes. I love her exactly like that.
Anna sighs, and stands. “That’s what I thought. Which means you owe that girl an apology.”
I stand too, squaring my stance with my sister. “I don’t think about Kat anymore.” Anna stills. “Like, not hardly ever. I don’t envision her face before I throw a football anymore. I only see Mia. My most favorite days are the ones that I spend with her, doing absolutely nothing other than holding her. She makes me laugh, she makes me feel alive, and when I’m with her, everything seems right in the world. To answer your question, gun to my head, yes. I would give her my last name today, if that’s what it took to get her back. But she doesn’t love me, Anna. That’s the part that you don’t understand. What we had was never real, at least, not really. She was using me to get her ex back. I was using her to boost my sales. We had a set of rules, and we followed them. Nothing that we had was ever real.”
“Was there a rule about sleeping together?”
I throw my hands up. “I mean, yeah, but…”
“Was there a rule about falling in love with each other?”
I don’t really see her point, here. Did she not just listen to what I said?
“That’s what I thought.” She smirks. “Sounds like you already broke most of the rules. What’s your next excuse?”
“It’s not an excuse. She doesn’t love me. She got back together with her ex. They just attended her high school reunion together for fucks sake. He’s the one that she wants, Anna. He’s the one that she loves. It’s him, not me. So, all of this, it’s just a waste of words, really. She’s moved on, exactly as planned.”
“Mia’s single.” Anna pulls her phone out of her back pocket and begins scrolling away. “She went to her reunion with her friend Sophia. Do you not ever check Facebook?”
“What?” I snatch her phone out of her hand and stare down at a picture of Mia. She looks beautiful, with her now blond hair, long and wavy, hanging over her shoulders as she smiles wide for the camera. She’s surrounded by a few other women
, who are all smiling wide, and as I look down at the caption on the photo, I see that someone else posted it and tagged Mia in it. The caption reads ‘Showing up single’.
“They must have got back together after the reunion, then.” I shrug. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
“No, they didn’t.” Anna grabs her phone back and scrolls again. “See? Look. This is her ex, right?”
I stare at a picture of captain douche himself, surprised when I see that it was just posted yesterday. He’s got his arm around a blond, but that blond isn’t Mia. And in the picture, the blond in his arms is holding out her ring finger, with a huge rock on the most important one.
“Her ex is engaged, bud, and it’s not to Mia.”
“How in the hell do you know these things?” I swear, my sister never fails to surprise me.
“Social media is a gold mine.” She rolls her eyes. “You should try it sometime. I Facebook stalked Mia before you guys even got to Moms. I went through a bunch of her pictures, found him tagged in some, and then stalked the shit out of him. Welcome to the two thousand’s, Adrian. It’s so nice of you to finally join us.”
I sink back down onto the couch, completely stunned. Am I seriously this damn stupid? Because if she’s been single this whole time, that means, she lied to me, when she told me that she and Brett were getting back together. The only question is, why?
“She doesn’t love me, though.” I say, more to myself than my sister. “She never said…”
“You are so dense.” She rolls her eyes. “She didn’t need to say it. It was so obvious. She looked at you like you hung the damn moon. She stared at you, smiled at you, and hung on your every word. Maybe she didn’t say it, Adrian, but damn. That girl did everything else.”
A lump forms in my throat, and my heart begins to race, as realization sets in. How could I have been so fucking stupid?
She lied to me, after she fled Wisconsin. After I told her about Kat. After I led her to think that I could never love anyone else the way that I loved her. It all makes perfect sense to me now. Things were going so well, and then, she just went cold.
She left me, before I could leave her. Except, little does she know, that I could have never left her. I loved her. And I still fucking do.
“What do I do?” My voice is hoarse, and I’m dizzy as panic shoots through me. I really fucked up this time, and it’s going to take a miracle for me to make this right. I need help. Fuck me, I need a woman’s help.
Anna nibbles on her lower lip, casting her eyes towards the ceiling as she tries to figure out a way to salvage what I have wrecked. After a few minutes, she smiles, and then nods towards my phone.
“This whole thing got started over social media, right?”
Well, sort of. It started over Mia’s lie, but yeah, it actually became a thing when I in turn needed her, too.
“Go Live.” Anna points to my phone.
“Go what?” I’m a social media nightmare, apparently. It’s totally out of my comfort zone.
“If you want to get her back, you need to grovel. You need to apologize. It’s go big or go home, Adrian, and Mia seems like a go big kind of lady.”
I smile at the memory of Mia saying exactly that about herself, many times. So, I take my sisters advice, fumbling around my phone with my fat thumbs, hoping and praying that I don’t humiliate myself in vain.
22
Mia
Ice cream.
You know a fun fact about ice cream? It never breaks your heart. It’s never mean to you, and it never calls you names. It never casts you off as if you don’t matter, and it is always there for you. Maybe the only two men that I’ve ever needed in my life are Ben and Jerry, because they’ve always been there for me, ready to try to make me feel better when my entire world is crashing down around me.
I’m on my second pint of the night, hoping like hell that it eases this ache that’s been in my chest all day. Adrian’s a jerk, that much I know. But my stupid heart apparently didn’t get the memo. It’s still very much in love with the man. I scroll through Pinterest, reading sad quotes about lost love that bring tears to my eyes. I immediately switch to some empowering women quotes, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t feel very empowered today.
I just feel sad. Really, fucking, sad.
Sophia stuck around most of the day, but since she’s headed home, I’m left alone with my thoughts. I’ve run through all of the moments that Adrian and I had, wondering over and over again how I could have ever been so stupid. He warned me not to fall for him. He specifically told me that he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy.
I went ahead and did it anyways, and now, I’m stuck here with a broken heart.
I flip through the channels, unable to focus on anything that’s on television. I debate drinking away my sorrows, but even I know that it won’t help. Nothing’s going to help right now. I just have to let myself hurt. Just to add insult to injury, I open up my Instagram, scrolling, of course, right to Adrian’s profile. I stare at the picture that he posted last night, the one of him and a new woman. I immediately feel bad for her. She’s got a one way ticket to heartbreak.
I quickly scroll past the picture, landing on pictures of us. I stare hard at my face, at the look of happiness in my eyes in every single photo. I wonder if I will ever get that back. The next thing you know, I’m on Facebook, yet again stalking the man, and staring at my once happy face. An alert pops up on my screen, telling me that Adrian is now live.
I can’t watch it. Dear God, I can’t hear his voice right now or see his face. And I sure as hell am not going to let him see that I am watching it- no thank you. I’d rather he not know just how badly he broke my heart. So instead, I click my phone off, vowing that nothing good is going to come from seeing his video, and then I drag my sorry ass to bed, where I cry myself to sleep.
My eyes are still puffy, and my head throbs a bit as I make my way down the sidewalk, towards my salon. I don’t have my usual Monday morning pep in my step. Instead, I’m moving like a slug, gripping my cup of coffee with three extra shots of energy in it, praying that it gives me the energy that I need to get through my day. I slept like total shit last night, thanks of course, to you know who. I decided this morning that I’m not going to even speak his name anymore, silently, or out loud. I’m all done with the idea of him, and I’m all done with his memory. I’m just going to pretend that he never even existed.
So, consider me surprised when I turn the corner to my salon, finding another batch of reporters standing in front of the front door to my salon, blocking my path. Just as I’m about to turn around and get the hell out of here, the female reporter that I met almost at the start of this whole fiasco spots me, and then, comes rushing towards me as fast as her heel clad feet can carry her. I’m sure I look like a deer caught in the headlights, as I turn and try to get the hell out of here. But just as I do, I smack into a wall of man so damn hard, that I bounce backwards. My coffee cup flies out of my hands, and into the street, splattering into a puddle of wasted deliciousness. Two strong arms wrap around me, catching me before I land on my ass, and then pulling me to my feet, and pulling me against his body.
“You didn’t respond to me.” His words are low, and he’s speaking only to me, staring so hard into my eyes that I swear, he can read every thought circling me right now.
I must look confused, and I try to look annoyed, as I reach out, and push hard against his chest, trying to put some distance in between us.
“Adrian, what is this, anyways? What are you doing here?” I can’t even look at him. It hurts too much to see his beautiful features. Hell, it even hurts just to have his scent invading my nostrils, right now. It’s all just way too much for my tender heart.
“I used social media, babe.” He presses his finger underneath my chin, tilting my face up and forcing me to look at him. “I did it, just like you showed me. Except this time, I used it for the truth, and not a bunch of bullshit lies.”
He has my full att
ention.
“I have one question for you, Mia.” He leans closer to me, causing my heart to thump loudly in my chest, as he braces his big body against mine.
“Truth or dare.”
I’m not sure where we’re going with this, but I know which one I need to choose.
“Truth.”
“Good girl.” His fingers trail lightly against my cheek, before resting at my hair line, where he strokes a lock of my hair as if it were gold, making my already weak knees shake like Jell-O.
“Do you love me?”
His question takes me by surprise. Silence falls around us, even though all of the reporters have now moved behind Adrian, desperate to catch us in this very personal moment. I’m not a big fan of the camera, and I’m definitely not a fan of having my business broadcasted, but I’m pretty sure that it has already happened. I’m curious as to what he decided to go live with last night, but I’m not going to ask him right now. At least, not with the cameras catching our every move.
“Yes.”
His eyes close, and then, a huge smile explodes on his face.
“Truth or dare.” My voice is low when I’m finally able to force my words out. Adrian beams.
“Truth.”
“Do you love me, too?”
“Yes.” He answers immediately. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved another person on this entire planet. I’ve loved you since before I even made the stupid rules, Mia. It just took me too long to realize it.”
“But you hurt me.” He stills as I find my words. “And you’ve said things to me that weren’t very kind. I may be in love with you Adrian, but that doesn’t excuse the way that you treated me.”
“I know.” His entire face falls, and he hangs his head. “I was a complete asshole, Mia. But in my defense, you left me, and when you did, you broke my heart. I said all of that shit out of anger, because I didn’t realize at the time that you had lied to me.” His eyes lock with mine. “You told me that you were going back to him, and you ended what we had. I was so fucking hurt, that I said those things out of anger. I didn’t mean them at all.”
Rule Play (Saints of Love Book 1) Page 17
