Just a Little Hope

by Amy J. Norris

  “You know how much I care about your father.”

  She grasped his hands with her own and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I do, Clint. And I know it means the world to him. He loves you like a son.”

  His cheeks reddened at her comment, and he looked away. She tightened her hold on his hands one more time and then released them.

  “How’re you feeling, Will?”

  Her dad’s smile grew when he saw Clint approach.

  “Pretty good. The headache is not as bad. I guess the pain meds help.”

  “Yep. They’ll keep it at bay.” Clint rolled the stool over and sat down next the bed. “You ready to hear what the deal is?”

  Tori sat down on the edge of the bed and held her dad’s hand.

  “Basically, what Dr. Jones and I believe is you have something called a GBM. It’s a tumor in the shape of the hand. The main mass of it is like the palm, but there are tentacles reaching out like fingers. Dr. Jones will remove the mass that’s like the palm, but unfortunately the tentacle-like parts cannot be removed.”

  Tori’s heart stopped. This was worse than she could imagine, and yet she somehow knew it was only the tip of the iceberg.

  Her mother’s voice broke through her thoughts. “Clint, what are his chances of beating this?”

  “Honestly? The survival rate of up to three years is around nine percent. Five years is around five percent, and ten years is less than two percent.”

  “So, are you telling me I might not make it to my sixty-eighth birthday?”

  Tori’s heart crumbled. Her dad was going to be sixty-seven in just a couple of months. The idea he might not make it to his next birthday didn’t seem real.

  “I can’t say that for sure, Will. I’m going to look into some trials and find a good one we can get you in. There are thousands of these clinical trials going on; I’ve just got to find the right one.”

  “Is this something Tori needs to be tested for? Could it be genetic?”

  Clint crossed one leg over the other and shook his head. “No. As far as we know it’s not anything that can be inherited.”

  “Well, that’s good to know. I don’t want to have to worry about Tori or any future children she might have.”

  “Nope. No worries there.” Clint stood up and leaned over her dad. “Now get some rest. The techs will be by in a little while to take you down to the lab for some other tests. And then we’ll have you all ready for surgery in the morning. Okay?”

  “All right.”

  He lightly patted her dad’s arm. “Would you like me to say a prayer before I go?”

  “Please.”

  Lord, we come before you now on behalf of Will and Janie and Tori. Please give them the strength they need to deal with this sudden and unpleasant news. And be with me, God, as I try and research the best possible trial for Will. Be with Dr. Jones as he performs the surgery tomorrow. Guide his hands. And in all things may Your will be. We ask these blessings and favors in your Son’s precious name. Amen.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  When Tori woke the next morning, she felt far from refreshed. Sleep had eluded her most of the night -- partly because she knew she needed to be at the hospital by six in the morning to see her dad before surgery but mostly because she still couldn’t fathom the idea her dad actually had a brain tumor. Would she ever sleep through the night again?

  Reaching for her phone on the bedside table, she checked for any messages or emails. Even though she hadn’t heard from Carter, she sent him a quick text anyway letting him know the surgery was scheduled for seven o’clock that morning. She couldn’t hide her disappointment when there was no response.

  She hoped he was okay. It wasn’t like Carter not to answer, but Tori’s concerns overwhelmed her. Maybe he’d gotten hurt in the game yesterday? No, if that was it, she’d have heard about it by now. Her mind raced at the possibilities. Maybe he’d decided he didn’t want to deal with this after all. It wasn’t going to be easy to try and start a relationship under these conditions.

  After a quick shower and a couple bites of toast, Tori gathered her things and left for the hospital. It felt like this was the beginning of a new and not so pleasant way of life. From now on, she must focus her attention on making sure her parents were taken care of. That her dad was getting the best treatments and her mom was getting enough rest. Everything else came in second place, including Carter. If there was even going to be a Carter.

  Her phone rang as she drove down the Interstate. She didn’t even look at who was calling but pressed the answer button and spoke. “This is Tori.”

  “Tori. It’s Michael. Pax gave me a call yesterday and told me what was going on. I’m so sorry. What can I do to help? You name it.”

  Michael. In all the madness and stress of the last couple of days, she’d completely forgotten about work. She fought to keep tears from falling. The weight of all she had going on was getting heavier and heavier.

  “Oh, Michael. I apologize for not calling you earlier. I can honestly say I didn’t even think about it.”

  “Don’t worry one bit, Tori. I can manage the office. In fact, Elisa is going to come in and help out for a few days. She’s done some admin assistant work in the past, so she can answer the phones for me.”

  A tear escaped and ran down Tori’s cheek. “I’m glad to hear that. I promise I’ll be back in the office as soon as I can. Clint seemed to think Daddy might be home in a week if all goes well.”

  “Like I said, you come back when you’re ready. Pax said she’d be back in a few days. She’s getting around better and thinks after her next physical therapy appointment she’ll be released to work at least part-time.”

  “That’s good to hear. And tell Elisa I appreciate her coming in to help out.”

  “I will. I’ll check in with you later to see how your dad did with his surgery. Tell him I’m praying all will be well soon.”

  “Thanks, Michael. Your prayers mean so much.”

  Tori dropped the phone in the seat beside her and wiped the tear that continued to roll down her cheeks. “Enough with this crying stuff. Get it out of your system, and then from here on out you have to be strong.”

  After pulling into a parking space at the hospital, Tori wiped her face one more time. She flipped down the visor mirror and attempted to make herself more presentable before entering the hospital. She didn’t want her parents to know she’d had a breakdown.

  Tori hurried down the hall to her father’s hospital room. Mumbled voices came from inside. She checked her watch, seeing it was still a little before six a.m. Perhaps Clint had stopped by to speak with Daddy before the surgery.

  She rapped on the door and stuck her head in. The talking she’d heard earlier stopped, and her heart melted at the sight of her mom sitting in the chair next to her father’s bed, holding his hands.

  Tori saw the outline of a jean-clad leg in the seat around the corner. That wouldn’t be Clint.

  Before she took another step, her Mother called out. “Good. You’re here. We’ve had the most pleasant conversation the last few minutes.”

  Still puzzled, Tori turned the corner just as the person in the chair arose.

  “Hey, sweetheart.”

  Her pulse rate rose exponentially. “Carter? What are you doing here?”

  ****

  Carter held out his arms and breathed a sigh of relief when Tori didn’t hesitate to embrace him. They didn’t speak for several moments. He wanted to relish this feeling of having her so near.

  Eventually, he released her and saw tears running down her cheeks. “Hey. It’s okay.” He wiped at them with the pads of his thumbs as she shook her head.

  “I’m just so glad to see you. When I didn’t hear from you after the game… Well, I’m happy you’re here now.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t contact you. It was my own stupid fault. Skip told me after the game I could fly on back on my own and not have to wait for the team. I had to hurry to the hotel and get packed, and in my
rushing around I left my phone charger behind. Seb booked me a flight that was leaving in just over an hour, so I couldn’t waste any time getting checked in. I didn’t realize until I was on the plane that my phone died. By the time I got to my apartment and plugged my phone in, I saw your message. It was so late I decided to not disturb you. I came to the hospital this morning instead.”

  “I am so glad you did.” She snuggled him close again and he pressed his lips to her temple. “I’m glad I did too.”

  A slight cough sounded, and Carter was suddenly aware of Tori’s parents. He stepped back and smiled. Tori glanced in the direction of her parents and then back at him. “So, I guess you’ve met my folks then.”

  “I have. Great people, Tori.”

  Her dad’s soft voice filled the room. “Yes. We’ve enjoyed getting to know Carter.” Carter smiled at Tori as a rush of emotion swept over him.

  Her eyes softened, and she whispered “Thank you.”

  Before they could say anything else, a team of nurses entered the room. “Hi, Mr. Alberson. We’re here to get you ready for surgery.”

  Carter swallowed hard as Tori ran to her father’s side and slipped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Daddy. And we’ll see you in a little while, okay?”

  Tori moved away from his bed and returned to Carter’s side. The nurses took her dad out of the room, down to the surgical ward.

  Tori’s mom walked with him, continually rubbing his hand, while Carter and Tori followed. No one said a word.

  When they reached the elevator, a nurse informed them that they must part ways.

  Carter’s heart broke as Tori and her mom each spoke to Will one more time, both obviously trying to hold back tears.

  When the elevator doors opened, Will’s gurney was rolled inside, and they all said words of encouragement. When the doors closed behind them, Tori caught her mother when she turned to her and wept.

  ****

  Tori checked her watch for what had to be the thirty-seventh time. Her dad had been in surgery for over two hours. It could be another hour before they heard anything. She glanced over at Carter, who’d leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. Tori still couldn’t believe he was here with her. Snuggling closer to his side, she felt his arm drape over her shoulder and pull her in tight. It was as if they were not only physically closer but also emotionally in tune as well. He seemed to sense when she needed the reassurance of his touch or even just a smile in her direction. And to think, only a few short hours ago she wondered if she would ever hear from him again.

  Her phone would vibrate on occasion with friends sending texts and emails of support and concern. They didn’t lack for company. Tori’s Uncle Brian and Aunt Caroline had driven down from Arkansas that morning. Several men and women from their home congregation took up seats in the waiting room. Michael had even stopped by while on his lunch break. All this just demonstrated to Tori how much her dad meant to everyone. She was sorry it took such a tragic event to get her to realize it. Tori had always known her dad had lots of friends, but to see such a turnout for his surgery touched her heart.

  She shifted positions and felt the warmth of Carter’s lips on her forehead. “How you doing, sweetheart?”

  Tori turned her head to see his beautiful blue eyes staring back her. She could drown in their depths.

  “I’m okay. Just anxious to hear some news, I guess. I keep hoping Dr. Jones and Clint are going to be wrong about the diagnosis, but then a part of me knows they aren’t.”

  He tucked a stray curl behind her ear and caressed her cheek with his hand. “I know. But we can’t give up hope. Even if it is a brain tumor, we can’t give up hope your dad will be in the percentile of people who live long lives.”

  “You’re right. I know.” She intertwined their fingers and rested their joined hands on her lap. “Do you have to report to the ballpark today for anything?”

  “Nope. Today’s a ‘getaway day,’ so the boys are probably just now boarding the plane in L.A. They’ll arrive sometime late this afternoon. We all have to be back at the park tomorrow for some early batting practice. I’m here for you until then.”

  Tori closed her eyes and snuggled back underneath his arm. “Good. I like having you near.”

  “Alberson family?”

  Tori leapt up at the announcement. She helped her mom get up from her seat, and they walked together to the nurse.

  “Mrs. Alberson, Dr. Jones will meet you in the private room number four at the end of the waiting area.”

  Her mother turned and grasped Tori’s hands. “Come on, Tori. Let’s find out what we’re dealing with.”

  Tori looked at Carter, who smiled and gave her the thumbs-up sign. She smiled back at him and walked with her mom to the private room.

  Her mom sat in one of the chairs lining the wall, but Tori was too anxious to sit. She paced up and down the length of the room until her Mother asked to stop. “You’re making me more nervous, Tori, with all your walking.”

  “Sorry, Mom.” Tori chose a chair across the room, but after only a few minutes, she hopped back up and resumed pacing.

  The click of the doorknob turning caught her attention, and Tori hurried to sit beside her mother.

  Dr. Jones entered the room, pulled up a chair, and took his surgical cap off his head. “First of all, Will did great throughout the surgery. There were no problems, and we were able to extract as much of the tumor as possible. It was a fairly large mass on his left temporal lobe,” he held up his hands to form a circle, “…around the size of an orange.” He smiled at both of them. “He was doing well when I left him. You should be able to see him in about thirty minutes. We’re going to have him stay tonight and tomorrow in the Neuro-Intensive Care Ward, but if he does well, he should be back in a regular room tomorrow night.”

  There was a slight pause, and Dr. Jones shifted in his chair and tented his hands at his chin before he continued. “Now, on what we removed, it’s exactly what Dr. Keene and I thought. Will has a GBM. Dr. Keene told me he’s already looking into some clinical trials that Will might qualify for. He’ll get with you later on this evening with that information. Do you have any questions?”

  Tori’s thoughts were spinning in eleven different directions. So much so she couldn’t seem to focus on any specific question to ask. The rest of the conversation between Dr. Jones and her mom went by in a blur. Only when they both got up from their chairs did Tori realize she had zoned out and had missed any other important comments. She couldn’t do that again. Her mom needed her to verify things they learned.

  “Thank you, Dr. Jones. We appreciate your help and the information.” Her mom shook Dr. Jones’ hand, and Tori followed suit.

  As they walked out to the waiting room, she felt like everything around her whirled, yet she moved in slow motion. Her brain refused to accept the news, but somehow she knew she needed to.

  Tori felt a hand on her shoulder. Only then did she realize Carter had met her halfway. Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around her. She felt him steady her when her legs crumbled beneath her.

  ****

  Carter flipped a switch and illuminated the hallway of his dark apartment. He tossed his keys in the basket on the counter and sighed. He couldn’t believe how tired he was. Who would believe the simple act of waiting could exhaust him as much as if he’d played nine innings of baseball?

  His throat parched, he opened the fridge and paused as the cool air blasted him. He chose a bottle of water and took several long swallows before shutting the door. He went over to the recliner, bottle in hand.

  The cool leather of the recliner felt good against his weary muscles. He punched the power button on the remote, not caring what channel appeared. Carter’s body was tired, but his mind was going ninety to nothing and he needed some mindless activity to try and calm his thoughts.

  When he’d finally left Tori and her mom, they’d just had their first visit with Will. Tori said he seemed to be doing as well a
s could be expected, and for that they were all grateful. After the visit, they wouldn’t be allowed back in until morning. Tori convinced her mother to go home, agreeing they would come back in time for the first visiting time of the day.

  They were both so exhausted Carter offered to drive them. Tori refused, promising to send him a text when they arrived. Remembering her promise, he checked his cell and placed it on the arm of the recliner.

  Glancing at the highlights appearing on the TV screen, he semi-watched for a few minutes until his cell phone lit up. His dad’s face filled the screen, and he pressed the button to answer.

  “Hey, Dad. How are you?”

  “I’m fine, son. How’s Tori’s dad?”

  “He’s doing as well as they can expect. They did confirm it’s a malignant brain tumor. We’d hoped they might be wrong.”

  “It will take a few days for them to fully absorb it. Speaking of, how are you?”

  Sighing, Carter rubbed his hand over his face. “Okay. A little tired after the late flight and then getting up early to be at the hospital. I’m just waiting to hear from Tori that she and her mom got home okay, and then I’ll probably turn in early.”

  “Your mom and I were thinking the same thing ourselves. I did want to let you know Dani’s run off again. We haven’t heard from her in a couple of days. I imagine she and Dax are finding some trouble to get into.”

  Dani again. If there was anything he didn’t need right now, it was more of his sister’s antics. “Dad, How long are you going to keep dealing with her?”

  “You have to understand. She’s our daughter, and we’d do anything to help her.”

  Carter pushed out of the recliner and went to stand by the window looking over the lights of the city.

  “I know that. I just hate how she uses and abuses you and then leaves again.”

  “She’s got some issues to work through; we all know that. I guess we just keep hoping she’ll do it sooner rather than later. Just keep praying. Don’t give up hope.”