Where Trust Lies

by Janette Oke

  “What, you?” But the shadow lifted as quickly as it had come. He must be teasing me again. “You in your ivory tower—you think there’s something you can do about all that? When would you have ever even seen poor people?”

  “Oh, but I have,” she answered quietly. “I worked in a coal-mining town out in western Canada as a teacher last year. I can’t say that I really changed things much . . . but we have to try. We’re answerable before God at least to do our best.”

  He pushed himself back, his expression slightly dour. “Even if you did—even if you could get some other folks to help too—you can’t stop all the evil. People will still suffer. How could God ever make that our fault?”

  Beth hesitated. “I’m not saying that suffering is our fault. I believe we suffer because sin has taken hold of the world. And with sin comes selfishness and heartlessness and wickedness. But I also think there will be a day of reckoning, Nick, when God lays out all we’ve done and judges our actions. That’s not as popular to talk about anymore, I suppose. We all like to hear about a God who loves and forgives and rewards. But He isn’t holy and just if He doesn’t deal with all those wrongs. I would never want to stand before God without having done everything in my power to extend His mercy to the people around me whenever I could.”

  He shook his head, as if to whisk away her weighty words. “I don’t see it. If there even is a God, He’s the one with all the power. Let him fix it.”

  Just then the waiter set four glasses of soda before them and hurried away. Beth tried to return to their discussion, but Julie and her friends descended on them just as quickly.

  “Nick, you old piker! You better not be pinching our drinks.” Jannis slapped him on the back and slipped into the seat next to him.

  “You gals can have them. I’ve got places to go.” He stood rather abruptly, pasting on a broad smile. “See you around, ladies.”

  “Yeah, scram,” Penny demanded with a wink.

  He nodded at Beth and hastened away. She wished they had not been interrupted and hoped for another chance to talk with him. He had seemed rather troubled. Beth realized she knew almost nothing about the man. In her concern about his influence on Julie, she had overlooked the fact that he too might be someone needing a friend.

  The girls sipped on their sodas, chatting about upcoming activities and the remaining cruise stops. Glasses emptied, the others went back to skating again, but Beth decided she was finished for the day and unbuckled the skates.

  As she lifted her eyes, she noticed Margret making her way through the stream of skaters, a laughing, wriggling JW in her arms.

  “Whew . . .” Margret shook her head and sank into a chair. “I wasn’t sure we’d make it safely—dodging the crowds and wrestling with this one.”

  Beth reached for her nephew and seated him on the table in front of her. The boy struggled against her hold on him, until she offered him one of her skates. It immediately became a car, clattering and rolling across the tabletop. He sputtered out boy noises, his best attempt at an engine sound.

  Margret leaned forward on the table and watched the skaters whizzing by. “Julie’s doing very well with skating, isn’t she?”

  “Yes,” Beth agreed. “She and the other girls have taken to this like—like horses to the races.”

  “And you?” Margret teased.

  “More like a turtle on ice!” They laughed together, watching the frolicking skaters around them.

  Julie spotted the new arrivals and, to JW’s delight, rolled toward them. “Hello, little buddy boy. What’cha doing?”

  JW crashed the makeshift car onto the table and reached up for Julie. “Annie Doolie—I go? I go?”

  “Margret, may I take him?”

  Margret hedged. “Do you think it’s safe? Do you ever fall?”

  “I haven’t fallen all day! But I’ll be extra careful—I’ll skate slowly.”

  “Well, I suppose. I know he’d love to go along for a ride.”

  Julie scooped JW up into her arms and rolled slowly away from the table, out of the path of the fastest skaters. Beth could hear his laughter ringing across the deck.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you out here. I’m glad you joined us, Margret.”

  “Oh, well, I couldn’t sit with Mother anymore. If I hear one more word about Miss Lucille Bernard, I’ll just scream.”

  “Is it that bad, darling?”

  “Oh, Beth, it’s worse. I’m afraid we’re in constant tension—the three of us—about nap times and feeding schedules. And, truly, it’s two against one—three, even, if you count Mrs. Montclair. So how much does my opinion count? I’m only his mother, after all. And all I want is to enjoy him while he’s little. He’s growing up so fast.” Margret cast a longing look toward the cluster of girls around JW. “He’s turning into a little boy right before my eyes. Where did my baby go?”

  Beth couldn’t help but laugh. “Your baby! When I left last summer we were still rocking him to sleep—talk about growing up too fast!”

  “And yet that’s how it feels to me too.”

  Julie, Penny, and Jannis reclaimed the seats around them. By then JW was riding on Julie’s back, kicking with his heels and clutching around her throat.

  “Sorry you took him?” Margret asked with a grin.

  “Oh, no, he was loads of fun.”

  “Sure, and he draws a crowd,” Jannis put in. “All the fellas were offering to take him, but Julie wouldn’t give him up. She kept him all for herself.”

  “I’m glad. I wouldn’t have wanted him in the arms of strangers.”

  “Not even for a break?” Penny seemed incredulous. “Babies are so much work! My cousin lets anybody who’ll take him hold her baby.”

  Shaking her head, Margret received JW back from Julie.

  He was still wriggling and clapping. “Annie Doolie—mo’—mo’.”

  “Yes, they’re a great deal of work—but they’re also an important trust. And he’s always my responsibility.”

  Jannis laughed. “I don’t know. I’d trade a baby for attention from one of those fellas over there any day.”

  “Then you can surely understand why he’ll never be put in your charge.” Margret’s words sounded unusually terse. Beth eyed her quizzically. Her sister seemed suddenly to be quite out of sorts. Perhaps the conflict regarding JW’s care?

  Margret gathered her bag and tucked JW against her hip. Forcing a pleasant smile, she said her good-byes and hurried away.

  “Golly, your sister’s quite a peach, ain’t she?” Penny muttered.

  Julie glowered back defensively. “She’s all right. Just leave her alone. And, like Margret said, you won’t be holding him—not ever.”

  “Ah, horse feathers! Who wants to bother anyway? He’s like any other—just a drooling, stinky mess. Babies are a dime a dozen.” With a flip of her hair, Jannis stalked away, leaving her skates on the table for Julie to return. Penny shrugged and followed after her sister.

  Beth and Julie gathered up the skates and returned them in relative silence. Beth wondered if such outbursts were usual among the trio. She knew Julie could be stubborn, but she was rarely argumentative. Although it was no surprise at all that Julie’s hackles would be raised when she was defending her precious nephew. And her sister.

  Prince Edward Island appeared on the horizon in a long stretch of coastline. Beth, Julie, Penny, and Jannis leaned out over the rail and watched it take shape before them, the recent spat already forgiven and forgotten. As the ship drew nearer, the rugged rust-colored shoreline gradually showed more detail.

  “How perfectly copacetic!” Jannis pronounced the view before them. “I heard it was real pretty here, and now I see why. The red cliffs, the bright green grass. And to top it all off, those lovely white houses perched like dainty little birds above it all.”

  Beth smiled at the girl’s poetic wording and asked, “Have you read Anne of Green Gables?”

  “Yeah, I read it. It was real cute, but I didn’t enjoy it tha
t much since ‘Anne with an e’ was an orphan and all. Guess it turned out okay for her in the end, but then again, that’s just a story. In real life, losing your parents doesn’t end up quite so swell.”

  Beth cringed. She had forgotten that Jannis had mentioned an aunt, but not a mother or father. She wondered what had happened to them. “How long have you lived with your aunt?”

  “Our who?”

  “Your aunt—the one who broke her leg and couldn’t come?”

  “Oh, Aunt Mary.” Jannis exchanged looks with her sister. “For a couple years, I guess. She’s all right. A funny old bird, but she takes care of us well enough.”

  “Yup, Aunt Mary,” repeated Penny. “She’s a good egg, overall.”

  Beth let the topic go.

  “I know what let’s do,” Julie suggested. “Let’s go get ice creams and sit where we can watch the sailors hitching our ship to the docks.”

  Beth shook her head. “Oh, we’ve got a long way to go yet before we’re in port.”

  “Fine!” Julie laughed. “Then let’s just go get ice creams!”

  They sauntered away toward the atrium. Then, after an hour of relaxing and waiting, Beth suggested it would be good if she and Julie checked in with their family.

  “Aren’t they the greatest?” Julie exclaimed as they walked back to their stateroom. “I just love those girls.”

  “They’re lots of fun, to be sure.” Beth was amazed at how quickly Julie could overlook the recent exchange regarding JW.

  “I still wish we could eat meals together. We spend so much time in different parts of the ship, and I doubt their food is nearly as good as ours. Jannis asks me about our dinners sometimes. I try not to make it sound very good.”

  “Oh, Julie, those things are all extras—just trimmings around a lovely vacation. You don’t need to pity them for not sharing in everything. My goodness, I think you’re already paying for most of their treats on board—or rather, Father is.”

  “I know, and that helps me feel a little bit better. But Jannis has told me more about their family, and I just feel so sorry for them both.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Oh, they haven’t had it easy. Their parents died when they were quite young. So they went to live with an uncle. But he was rather a crotchety old man—didn’t treat them very well, so finally they were sent to live with a cousin instead.”

  “I thought it was an aunt who couldn’t come along on the trip.”

  Julie shrugged. “I suppose. I guess I’d forgotten that.”

  “But you said a cousin.”

  “Yes, something like that. I could have heard her wrong. Maybe they live with both an aunt and a cousin. We were playing mahjong when she told me about it,” Julie added absently. “I just missed the details.”

  “I’m truly sorry to hear it. That must have been very difficult for them.”

  “And Penny told me a little about their mother. She was not at all nice either.”

  Beth frowned. “How so?”

  “Well, I didn’t hear the whole story, only bits and pieces, and then Penny was too embarrassed to finish it, I suppose. But for some strange reason their mother actually named her ‘Penance’—that’s her official name on her birth certificate. It had something to do with an old church lady who told her that God was punishing her mother by giving her a baby when she wasn’t married. I guess she chose the name to spite the church or something, kind of a way of getting her revenge. But they can both remember their mother saying quite often that Penny was God’s punishment for things their mother had done before she was even born.”

  “Oh, Julie, I can’t imagine! To think of any mother saying such a dreadful thing! How old was Penny when she lost her parents?”

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t asked. She was certainly old enough to remember her well. But I try not to ask too many questions, since I know it makes them uncomfortable to talk about it.” They had reached the last hallway. Julie sighed deeply. “I tried to tell her that God isn’t like that, that children are never a punishment. They’re always God’s blessing and dearly loved by Him. But I don’t think I said it very well—at least, it didn’t seem like Penny understood. Anyway, I guess that’s part of the reason I want to be friends with them both. I’d like to find some way to show them that God really does love them.”

  The story pierced Beth’s heart. “I’m glad you’ve befriended them, Julie. I’ll pray you find the right words.” Her sister’s simple compassion actually stung a little. Beth had chosen to keep the girls at arm’s length—distrustful and unsympathetic. She determined then to try harder to include them in her goodwill. Perhaps she would even set aside her questions about the pills. There had been no negative results, after all.

  Despite their plans to watch the ship dock, Beth and Julie were far too busy in preparations for debarking once again to catch up with their friends. Father had reserved rooms in a fine hotel for the two days they’d be touring the island province. Beth anticipated sleeping in a bed that didn’t rock with the motion of the waves. Still, the change of residence required that bags be packed for their two days and two nights ashore, and Mother insisted they lock away anything valuable in the closet safe.

  One by one, their suitcases were loaded onto a wheeled cart, until Mother released the porter with a nod, placing a generous tip into his gloved hand. He bowed and pushed the cart into the hallway. “Now, if only Edith and Victoria are finished packing as well.”

  At last the ladies were tucked away in a corner of the cozy hotel restaurant for a light evening meal while Monsieur Laurent saw to it that their hotel rooms were properly prepared and the bags delivered.

  “Travel is exhausting,” Mrs. Montclair remarked over her steaming tea. “I declare, if it weren’t for all the folks who said Prince Edward Island was remarkably beautiful, I would have been tempted to stay on board and just relax instead. I suppose the ship is nearly empty now.”

  Mother clucked patiently, “You don’t mean that, Edith.”

  “Now, Priscilla, I do. You wait and see. One of these times I’ll just surprise you all and do exactly that. I’ll leave the hustle and bustle to the rest of you and have myself a nice quiet rest—all alone.”

  “You don’t really like to be alone, Mother,” Victoria countered. “You’re always saying that.”

  Julie grinned. “Well, you wouldn’t want to miss New York anyway.”

  “Why ever not? I’m not as young as you four girls. So I don’t feel the need to endure all the unpleasantness of every one of the cities on our route. If I take a notion at that time, I assure you, I shall even be willing to miss out on New York City too. Besides, I’ve seen photographs of the skyline. That’s the only view I truly wish to see for myself.”

  “Mrs. Montclair,” Julie said playfully, “I don’t believe you’ve remembered about the shopping.”

  For a moment the woman froze, her cup lifted halfway to her lips. Then she set it down again, smiled widely and joined in Julie’s laughter. Pointing her glasses good-naturedly in Julie’s direction, she announced, “Ah, my dear, you do know me well. I confess, that alone would surely induce me ashore.”

  “Are your friends staying in a hotel here in Charlottetown?” Margret asked Julie.

  “No, they can’t afford it. So they’ll board the ship again tonight.”

  Mother noted, “I believe many of our fellow passengers are doing the same. And with the island trains, it’s not so very difficult to see what one wishes and still sleep on board. In fact, with all the fuss of packing and moving, it hardly seems an added convenience.”

  “I suppose,” Julie sighed. Beth, however, thought sleeping ashore once again sounded just fine.

  Chapter

  14

  MONSIEUR LAURENT APPEARED in the hotel’s small bistro where they were waiting and hurried toward their table. “There is an evening carriage tour of the city in one hour. That will give you time to settle into your rooms beforehand if you wish.” Dropping n
apkins onto the table, they began to rise. “Miss Thatcher,” he said, leaning over to address Beth, “perhaps you would prefer to stay here in the dining room for a moment.” He then slid a thin packet across the table toward her.

  Letters! “Oh, yes. Mother, I believe I’ll wait for you right here. There’s nothing I need from the room.”

  Mother eyed the envelopes and nodded knowingly. “I see. Well, of course, darling. We’ll be back before the tour begins.”

  Beth waited until they had all filed out before she opened the packet. There were two letters bound together by a string—a welcome surprise. Using the stamp cancellation dates, she arranged the envelopes in the order in which Jarrick had sent them. A waiter stopped at the table to refill her tea, and Beth drew out the anticipation, choosing to order dessert before slicing the envelopes open with her butter knife.

  It was quickly evident that Jarrick had not yet received her letter. But he had mailed another without waiting for her reply. Beth was so grateful he had done so.

  My dear Beth,

  This morning your journey begins. I’m so excited for you and your mother and sisters. I trust that this will be a time you’ll remember always. A time filled with intimate conversations and beautiful memories to treasure for a lifetime. I pray that God will grant you safety and freedom from unforeseen obstacles.

  Over the last few days I’ve given much thought to our telephone conversation and its implications. I want to assure you that I’m praying daily that I would have the wisdom to use these long weeks of waiting as a time of preparation. God willing, I would like to be the best man that I can be before your return. That I would carefully measure my heart and my actions against God’s desire for me in order to be aware of the ways in which I fall short. Toward this end, yesterday in church here in Blairmore I approached an older man whom I’ve long respected. I’ve made arrangements to meet him for coffee once a week in order to glean from him what I can about what makes a good man and a good husband.