Pound of Flesh_An Urban Fantasy Novel

by J. A. Cipriano

  To be fair, it wasn’t the first time I’d seen this happen. If I had a nickel for every time I pulled someone’s ass out of the demonic fire and then had a gun or knife or what-have-you pulled on me, I could be sitting on a beach counting twenty percent. Okay, maybe that was a touch exaggerated, let’s just say, I’d definitely be able to afford a nice steak dinner at a place where waiters wore white gloves. Seriously.

  Thankfully, I was also good at diffusing said situations.

  “Renee,” I said in the voice I reserved for psycho bitches and angry dogs. “You’re going to have to calm down.”

  “Don’t tell me what I have to do,” she snapped back. Her pistol ground harder into my temple in a way that made me think she was trying to intimidate me. ”You have no idea what I have been through for this, for him. I’m not leaving without some answers.”

  ‘For him.’ She must be talking about Nickolas. Somehow, he had gotten himself tangled up in demon business and now he was very likely dead. Not that I could break that news to her at this particular moment.

  No. I needed to be cool. I needed to move slowly, the way a hunter does when he gets a deer in his crosshairs.

  One wrong move and everything goes to Hell. Though, I suppose in this situation, it was me who was the deer. I didn’t particularly like being the deer.

  As I opened my mouth to try to explain something to the crazy lady with the gun, a loud howl exploded through the room. My eyes shifted to the left, and I saw Gary flying down at me out of a flashing void. Whenever I teleported, he always arrived a little after me, and in the stress of the situation, I’d totally forgotten about him.

  His being late to the party made sense. Metaphysically speaking, when it came to teleportation, the bigger you are, the harder you fall. While Gary was a lot of things: foul mouthed, foul smelling, pretty much foul all around, he certainly wasn’t big by anyone’s standards.

  That said, he was certainly large enough to crash into my crotch like a spiky Mach 5 cannonball.

  “Goddamn!” I cried out in the least manly way possible, my body jerking forward and my nuts practically curling back up inside of me.

  “Stop!” Renee said, pressing the barrel harder against my head to remind me it was still there. Admittedly, I was somewhat surprised Gary’s suddenly appearing form hadn’t made her shoot me, I also remembered she couldn’t see him. Sigh. This was totally going to get worse before it got better. ”What are you doing? I told you to tell me the--”

  “Gary,” I said through “nut buster” clenched teeth and blinking “scrotum shredder” tears. “Fucking show yourself to her, dude, so she can get this gun out of my face.”

  “Who are you talking to?” Renee asked, looking around the room. “Did they follow us? Did those things…?”

  “Relax, Big Ears,” Gary said, hopping off of my smashed manhood and standing up on my overcrowded mattress.

  His full, green, scaly, scary, disgusting glory was on display to Renee now, and judging by the way her mouth twisted upward and then down again, she wasn’t going to take this well.

  “Shitballs! Fucking shitballs!” she shrieked, jumping off the bed. She trained her gun on Gary now, who seemed a lot less worried about the entire ordeal than me.

  Though, given the fact that most of his vital organs were either in his ass or his feet, I couldn’t really blame him. People tended to shoot things in the head, and as far as Gary was concerned, well, that’d only be annoying at best.

  “Did she say shitballs?” Gary asked, looking over at me. “What is a shitball?”

  “It’s a ball made of shit,” I answered. “Just focus. She’s scared.”

  “Why?” he asked. “She’s the one with the gun.”

  “Because you’re a monster!” Renee said. She had burrowed herself into the corner of my bedroom by a pile of dirty clothes. Ridiculously, it occurred to me that, had I known a woman was going to be literally dropping by, it might not have killed me to tidy up a little.

  “That’s one way to kill a man’s confidence,” Gary shrugged. ”Still, I’m pretty good with my tongue.” His tongue snaked out of his mouth and threaded through the air as he spoke. Then he winked really hard.

  “You’re not a man,” I said, grimacing over at him. “And if a mirror doesn’t kill your confidence, I doubt she will.”

  “Look who’s talking, Two Eyes,” he shot back at me.

  I ignored him and settled in front of Renee. Her gun was still raised, but her eyes were starting to take on that whole “Maybe I’ve just lost my damned mind” tint anybody who dips their toes into the world I live in wears at one point or another.

  That didn’t mean I was out of hot water. No, this was the time when people were most likely to lose their shit. I needed to play this right. Otherwise, I’d be digging bullets out of either my gut or my bedroom wall. Maybe both.

  “I know you’ve been through a lot tonight,” I said, lifting my hands up and showing her I wasn’t armed.

  “You going to shoot me with lightning?” she asked, her lips drawing together. “Like you did to the others?”

  Oh right. That.

  Putting my hands down quickly, I continued. “No. God, no. I wouldn’t do that. I don’t … I don’t usually do that. That’s just for special occasions.”

  “You know, like Passover and whatnot,” Gary said from the mattress.

  “Shut up, Gary! I don’t need the help,” I said. Turning back to Renee, I continued. “Like I said, I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’m sure the last thing you need tonight is more craziness, but you asked for the truth. I hate to tell you this, but the truth is kind of crazy.”

  “I can handle it,” she said, her voice lilting upward in a way that made me question whether that was true. Still, what choice did I have? She had caught me red eyed, so to speak. “Start with that thing,” she barked, motioning to Gary.

  “That thing has feelings, you know,” Gary answered, crossing tiny arms over an equally tiny chest. “It also helped save your life and didn’t even get a customary ‘that’s a good boy’ as a reward.”

  “He’s an imp,” I said, ignoring him. ”His name is Gary. I picked him up in Morocco a couple of years ago. He’s a weird little shit, but he’s sort of my best friend.”

  “What do you mean by ‘sort of?” he asked, raising one scaly eyebrow at me like he was the Rock. Man, I needed to stop letting him watch that WWE channel.

  “Jesus, Gary. Just let me talk to her,” I muttered back at him. Then, turning my head just slightly, I added, “And that’s a good boy.”

  “What do you mean by imp?” Renee asked, inching away from the corner. I liked to think that was because she was starting to trust me and not because the dirty boxers on the floor smelled like ass. “Like a monster?”

  “Like a creature,” I amended. “Like a race. People don’t know this, but the world is full of all different races. Everything you’ve ever heard of, vampires, werewolves, witches, mermaids, they’re all real, Renee.”

  “You mean like leprechauns?” she asked, her face lighting up like she had been seeing things through a veil all this time and I had just lifted it up.

  “Well, now you’re just being ridiculous,” Gary answered with a snort. Then taking on an Irish accent he said, “Want to join me on the other side of a rainbow, lassie? I kin show ye me pot o’ gold.”

  “Most things you’ve heard of are real,” I answered, shooting Gary a “shut up, dude” stare before turning back to her. “And the people who tried to kill us tonight, they’re demons; the absolute worst of races.”

  “What are you?” she asked, gesturing at me with her gun in a way that made me decidedly uncomfortable.

  “Well, I’m a half demon,” I answered quickly, shaking my head, and feeling like the shithead little kid I used to be who always needed to explain his existence. “A quarter demon after a haircut.” I gave her my best smile.

  “He’s one of the good ones,” Gary said, leaping up onto my shoulder, a
n act which made Renee gasp and lurch backward. Fuck. We were so getting shot, and I really hated getting shot. ”Which you can tell by the fact he hasn’t mentioned the fact he’s bleeding out all over his carpet while he’s having this useless conversation.”

  “God, you’re hurt,” Renee said, shock filling her features as she looked me up and down. It was like she was only really seeing me right now. Nervously, I wondered if she liked what she saw. She dropped her gun until it rested at her side.

  “I’m fine,” I said. “I have some herbs and stones in the bathroom. I’ll heal myself up in a bit.”

  “Demons can do that?” Renee asked and curiosity laced her voice. Thank God. If she was curious, she wouldn’t be shooting me. Well, usually.

  “No,” I answered. “I’m also half-warlock. It sounds ridiculous, I know.”

  She looked me up and down again, her eyes narrowing. “Which half?”

  “Which half would you like?” Gary asked in the sleaziest way possible.

  “It’s a long story,” I said, shrugging Gary off my shoulders. He scrabbled like a cat, desperately trying to remain perched on me for half-a-second before flopping onto the bed and narrowing his eyes at me. Gary was displeased. Great. He could take a fucking number.

  “I’ve got time,” Renee said, gaze swinging from Gary to me, and her gun twitched a bit. She wanted to bring it back up, but she hadn’t. Good.

  “It’s not one I really feel like telling tonight. Suffice it to say, I’m sort of a mutt. That’s not what’s important though. The important thing is we keep you safe. Not all of those demons died, and they’re working for someone. Whoever that is, they’ll come looking for you. Probably for both of us.”

  “Jesus Christ,” she murmured, and leaned back against the wall again. “Nicky, what the hell have you gotten me into?”

  “Who is Nicky?” I asked, moving toward her ever so slightly.

  “He’s my brother,” she said. “He moved here for college a couple of months ago. I was happy. He was here with me, ya know? I could keep an eye on him. Not that I needed to. He was always a good kid. But a few weeks ago, he stopped showing up for classes. He wasn’t in his dorm. His roommate hadn’t seen him. His girlfriend hadn’t heard from him.” She ran fingers through her jet black hair and shook her head. “He was just gone. One of his friends told me they saw him hanging out with that crowd from tonight. I didn’t know they were demons. Hell, I didn’t know anybody was a demon.” She looked up at me, blinking tears back. “I just want to find my brother. I just want to bring him home.”

  “Let me help you,” I said instantly. My heart was aching to take her pain away, to salve that hurt that was so prominent on her face and, even though I was pretty sure Gary would ream me out about it later, I had never been able to say no to a pretty girl in trouble.

  “What?” Gary asked, looking up at me. “Maybe we should talk about this.”

  “We don’t need to talk about this,” I said, never breaking eye contact with Renee.

  “Why would you want to help me?” she asked. “You don’t even know me.”

  “I don’t need to,” I said. “I know enough to know you’re not going to stop looking for him. Ever. Because of that, you’re very likely going to get yourself killed doing it.”

  “And what if we get ourselves killed doing it, Roy Boy? You ever think of that?” Gary asked, and I had to admit it was a very good point. Still, I couldn’t turn away from her, not when she needed me like this.

  So, I ignored him.

  “I know about this world. I grew up in it. I’ve seen what it can do. If your brother is still out there, I’ll find him.” I tried to smile reassuringly. I wasn’t sure if it worked.

  “And what do you get in return?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

  The demon part of me, the part that had just feasted on a damned pedophile, jumped in anticipation of the meals that might come out of this. Where there were thugs and bad guys, there would be food, and not just any food. No, this would be a three-pound lobster, steak and a potato plus salad bar Las Vegas-style feast. It almost made me want to ignore the lifesavers in my pocket.

  “I have my own reasons,” I said, popping a couple of the candies into my mouth. “Besides, it’s not like I see anyone else lining up to help you. What do you say?”

  Renee stared at me for so long I was starting to think she hadn’t heard me. “Okay,” she said, nodding as though she couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

  9

  “This doesn’t make any sense to me,” Renee said, walking alongside me on the busy city streets of Atlanta as we neared her office building.

  In the day and a half since I had first met her, she had discovered the truth about the supernatural world, been nearly put down by a bunch of demons, and gotten into a sparring match with my imp best friend. So I got why she didn’t want to go back to work. She wanted to pull her brother out of a world she now knew was ten times more dangerous than she thought, but she couldn’t let it take her over.

  “We have to live our lives, Renee,” I answered, settling in front of her office. People looked over as they passed us by, mostly dudes. That didn’t surprise me. Even now, with her having been up all night trying to wrap her head around things she had been told her entire life were impossible, Renee was something to look at.

  We had swung by her apartment on the way out this morning, where she picked up a navy blue business suit that hugged her curves just tightly enough to still be considered professional.

  I could see the tired lines beginning to form around her eyes. Still, that imperfection only served to make her more approachable and somehow even more attractive.

  Okay, Morgan. Get it together. You’ve got crap to get done, and making moon faces at the person you’ve promised to help isn’t going to do either of you any good.

  “For you,” I continued, clearing my throat and directing my eyes away from her, in an effort to focus my scattershot mind. “Living your life means going back to work. I’m sure you’ve got a mountain of cases.”

  “This is Atlanta,” she scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. “There are at least two mountains up there waiting for me. That’s not the point. You told me we needed to be safe. You told me those things would come looking for me.”

  “And they will,” I answered, leaning against the building and crossing one foot over the other. “But that doesn’t mean we give up, Renee. You’ve got people to help, criminals who need to pay for what they’ve done. I know your brother needs you, but I’m better equipped to help him than you are here.” I let out a huge sigh. “Besides, they’ll come for me first. I’m the variable in their equation. I’m the oddity they’re going to run and tell their boss about, not some pretty mortal girl just looking for her brother.”

  Renee blinked at me, her huge eyes were like pools a person could fall right into if he wasn’t careful about it. I needed to be careful.

  “You’re right,” she muttered with a hint of remorse in her voice. “I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry. I guess I’ve unleashed a shit storm for you, haven’t I?”

  “Don’t blame yourself,” I answered, instinctively leaning forward. “Turns out I’m actually pretty good at causing my own problems. I went there to help you because I wanted to. You didn’t force me into that. What happens to me is on me. Don’t feel like you need to be responsible.”

  “Don’t give me that,” she said narrowing those same “drown worthy’” eyes at me. ”Not after everything you’ve done for me.”

  “That’s different,” I answered quickly, feeling a pang of both pride at how much I had helped, and guilt for wanting to stifle her so much in order to keep her safe.

  “It’s not,” she said, shaking her head. ”You think because you’re a man and I’m a woman, I shouldn’t want to protect people?”

  “What I think is I know about all of this.” I pushed myself completely off the building and settled right in front of her, meet
ing her gaze with my own. “What’s crazy to you is second nature to me. I’m a big boy. I have the means and capability to take care of myself in this situation.”

  “You almost got yourself killed.” A look of concern flashed across her face. ”I’m not sure I like you feeling like you need to do that for me, Roy.”

  “Yeah. Well, it was the weekend. What else did I have to do?” I tried to smile disarmingly at her, but it didn’t seem like it worked because she just kept looking at me with the same expression.

  Renee’s face grew grim and stoic. “You need to be serious. We could die. My brother could already be dead.”

  “That’s true,” I conceded, stuffing my hands, along with more than a few jittery feelings, into my pockets. “And, as much as that would suck, there’s nothing I can do about that. What I can do is make sure your brother’s sister doesn’t get herself killed. Regardless of how much she tries.”

  “You don’t get to tell me that,” she said sternly, narrowing those amazing eyes at me accusingly. “You don’t get to say ‘Look at how much trouble your brother is in. Oh, and hey, you can’t help.’ And you absolutely don’t get to lay my own safety out there like it’s some world class guilt trip. My brother is missing. Mine, not yours. So you don’t have the authority to tell me what to do.”

  “Do you know how many teeth a lower demon has, Renee?” I asked, moving closer to her again.

  “You can’t scare me,” she said.

  “Two hundred and ninety-seven,” I answered.

  “Jesus!” she said, jumping backward instinctively. Shaking her head, she seemed to regain her senses immediately. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not leaving my brother to those things.”

  “You’ll get me fucking killed,” I answered flatly.

  “What?” she sneered.

  “Dangerous things are dangerous. I can’t be worrying about your very breakable ass when I’m going up against those things.” I shook my head. “I’m not doing this to keep you safe, Renee. I’m doing this so that I stay safe and don’t get myself beheaded by something in an attempt to get you through this in one piece. So do me a favor. Actually, do me two. Stop being so goddamned idealistic. I mean, it’s cute as hell on you, but I don’t have time for it.”