by R. Phoenix
That didn’t work.
I wrapped my lips around the nipple, trying to remember how I actually held my paci, and was rewarded with the first drops of warm milk with honey and an approving hum from Carter. He was holding me close to his side, not in his lap, yet I felt like he surrounded me completely and held me safe.
My eyes closed slowly, my hands rested in my lap and I allowed myself just to drift as I drank my milk. I was aware of my daddy’s arms around me, his words of praise, of approval, of love, and on the warmth seeping through me as the world got smaller and smaller.
There was a little bit of motion, and I stirred. “What—?” I mumbled.
“Shh, just taking you to bed.”
I tried opening my eyes, but they were so heavy.
“Come on, you need to go to bed with me, baby.”
“Nhh.” I pressed against the warm chest, but it moved. He helped me to my feet, his grip firm on my hand.
“Yes. Come on.”
I stumbled along, letting him guide me along without opening my eyes until my feet hit the bed and I was allowed to lie down again. It was cold, but only for a moment, then a very naked Carter pressed against me. “Sleep, baby.”
I nodded and drifted off again, in his arms just where I belonged.
Chapter Five
Carter
Rick placed a beer in front of me, then one in front of himself. “Here you go.”
I nodded my thanks. “What’s Sean doing today?”
Rick had just said Sean wasn’t able to meet with Micah, but that was about it.
“Work meeting. He’s going to be fun to deal with when he gets home later.”
I raised my eyebrow as I saw him lifting his beer.
“Non-alcoholic. You really should know me better.” Rick didn’t seem to be offended though.
“I wasn’t so sure. I’d probably drink a lot if I had to deal with him all the time. And you know what I mean.”
Rick started laughing. “Sean would drive you up the walls. And that only on his good days.”
I chuckled, then gently clanked with my beer against his. "To our boys and them being perfect just the way they are."
Rick drank too, then his gaze met mine. "So, Micah is finally living with you?" I noticed he changed the subject, but I didn't mind.
"Yeah, he did. I wanted to ask him for a while, considering he about never slept at his own place anyway, but I was afraid of scaring him away.”
Rick snorted in his beer, then raised an eyebrow. "Have you looked at him recently? Or ever since the day he walked into the bar? That boy looks at you like you hung the moon. And the stars."
I shrugged. "I— No. Well, yes, I know he loves me, but still, I'm his first in so many ways."
"And you're afraid of overwhelming him, right? Of moving too fast?"
Right on the spot, as always. "Mostly, yes. I know he’ll tell me if I do, but I still have my doubts. I had my life with Nicholas. I know what it was like, and I know what I want. But this is all so new to him, so how can he be so sure? That's what's troubling me."
Rick looked at me and this time, he was completely serious. "Listen, Micah loves you. No matter what, he is a grown man. Don't forget that. Even though he's younger, he can make decisions, and he can very well tell you to stop pushing if you move too fast. With everything else going on, I think we tend to forget that sometimes. I know I do, especially when Sean needs me to ground him, but in the end, he's his own person. He's not a child, Carter. He's a man. He has his studies, his job, his life. And he will go his way, if you allow it, with you by his side. But stop trying to decide for him before he even knows there is a decision to make."
Rick paused, drank, and before I could even comment, he went on.
"So, yes, I get why you're hesitating, and I absolutely understand why you might be careful of bringing him into your house, the one you shared with Nic, but stop trying to protect him. He will resent you for it. Those are big, adult decisions, not the ones you make for him as a little. It doesn’t apply to him wanting you to decide what he eats for dinner or stuff like that."
I settled back into the booth, mulling over his words. "You might actually be right, you know? I think I've tried too much to shield him from being grown Micah, now that you're pointing it out. Hell, I'm not sure, if I'm honest. I'm… I guess I don't want him to realize one day that I'm so much older and that he's stuck with me without ever experiencing something else… you know?" I drank, trying to figure out what else to say.
Yes, I might have sheltered him, tried to keep him away at least in some ways, but then, could I really blame myself? I lost Nic way too soon, and he'd left a huge hole in my life. It could never be filled, no matter how perfect Micah was. He wasn't Nic and never would be. On the other hand, he was so much different than Nicholas. He fulfilled needs I never had explored before, ones I’d never even known I had… and that made me scared.
I couldn't lose him too.
"Listen to me. He loves you. He's happy with you. He's going to stay as long as you two talk to each other. Don't think he's going to leave because he's younger, and don't try to keep him away. That might make him leave, actually, since he might feel like he's not welcome."
"He brought home a cat."
"What?" Rick looked at me like I was going crazy.
"He brought home a cat. Well, apparently it's one. The jury is still out on that one, since I haven't seen it, except for a second when Micah tried to get it out from under the couch."
Rick still doesn't get it.
"He got us a cat. To my house… our house. Before I even asked him to move in."
"And what has that to do with you not seeing the cat?"
I laugh. "Oh, well, Micah can't adopt an animal that's, you know, getting along with people or other animals. No, he has to bring home the one that's attacked visitors and other volunteers there. And now it's hiding under our couch, hissing at everyone except Micah. He can at least feed it."
"And you're seriously wondering if you're moving too fast? When he brought home a cat? That means he sees your house as his, too." Rick shook his head, most likely to point out how dumb he thought I was.
"I still can't help myself." I tried to defend myself. I lost the love of my life once. Rick wouldn't understand — and I hoped he never got into the position to get it. But I had been there. I knew how much it hurt. I couldn't go through it again.
"You need to at least talk to him. Tell him why you might be dragging your feet. Tell him why you might be insecure. You told him about Nic, I assume?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I even have a picture of him standing around."
"See. Just talk to him. You're the one who goes on about honesty and being up-front and all that. Don't stop that now." Rick's voice was stern, more like his Daddy-voice he used when Sean needed it.
"I think you're right. I haven’t handled it like I should have." I ran a hand over my face, trying to figure out when I'd gotten so off track, but deep down, I knew. It was while I slowly realized I wanted to spend my life with Micah. That scared me to the point where I tried to avoid giving him a chance to get as deep into my life as Nic had been.
"You didn't. But you have every chance of making it up to him. Talk to him and it will be all right."
I nodded. Time for a subject change, though. This went way too deep.
"How's Sean? He was angling for a punishment last time we met. Is he feeling better?"
Rick picked up his beer. "Lots of stress at work, so he needs me to put him in place and take his mind off of it. He's under a lot of pressure, and then he can't get the rest he needs."
Sean was an architect, working his way up in a huge company. He was brilliant, but the stress tended to get to him.
“So I assume his behavior like a few days ago happens regularly?”
Rick shook his head. “No, not that bad. That was him needing me to put my foot down. Usually, he asks for what he needs or shows me, but not like that.” He paused and drank from his be
er. “I need another drink. You want another one or something else?”
I held up my glass. “Coke, if you don’t mind.”
Rick left with the two glasses in his hands and I had a moment to think. Was he really right?
Did my past stop me from moving forward? Probably. I hadn’t been that careful with Nic, at least in regards of not letting him get too close. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Yeah, Rick was right, at least partly. I needed to see Micah as the person he was, even though he was inexperienced before we met.
Now he wasn't, and he was clearly showing me he was ready for the next steps.
Rick interrupted my thoughts as he came back to the table, carrying two Cokes. "Here you go."
I nodded in thanks then drank deeply. I wanted to go home and relax with Micah, but I wasn't allowed back home for another hour. At least, that was what he'd told me when I'd left, knowing me maybe a bit too well.
Rick settled on the seat next to me. "How are things with your parents? Have they calmed down?"
I cringed. That was the one subject I didn't want to talk about. "Nope. Nothing. But to be honest, it's better that way. If they can't accept us the way we are, they need to stay away. And the damage they did with Micah and his confidence… No, I don't want to have contact, unless they rethink their opinion."
"I'm sorry, man. It's hard to deal with."
I shrugged. "Micah is more important, so it's okay. It could be worse, I guess."
"I guess. And now tell me what else is new with you. Let’s not talk about them anymore."
It took me two hours longer to get home. I'd finally started enjoying time just with Rick, not hanging out with him and Sean as a couple. Micah had been right, and I fully intended to let him know, at least if he was awake.
I opened the front door and saw the lights in the living room, so my baby was waiting for me. As I quietly opened the door, I had to hide a grin. Snowflake was curled up on one side of the couch, his tail wagging tiredly. Micah sat in the middle, bent over his laptop, murmuring quietly. On his other side, Creamy — Creamsicle — was completely relaxed. Until the moment he opened his golden eyes. Then he hissed and jumped up, just to vanish back under the couch.
I arched a brow. “You brought Snowflake inside?”
I wasn’t sure what I was more surprised about, the fact that the dog and cat were settled on either side of Micah or that Micah had brought Snowflake in when I wasn’t there to help alleviate some of the stress of the introduction.
Micah nodded. “I couldn’t handle his sad puppy eyes anymore,” he said, looking a little sheepish as he patted the dog’s head. Snowflake’s tail wagged happily as he looked at me, but he didn’t move from the couch.
They might live with me, but both of them definitely belonged to Micah.
“How’d it go?” I asked, settling down where the cat had just been.
“A little bit of growling and hissing, but Creamsicle smacked Snowflake hard on the nose and got him to back down. Snowflake’s scared of him now, I think.” Micah laughed, shaking his head. “And here I was, worried that it’d be the other way around.”
“I’m impressed that you got both of them to sit by you,” I said, putting my arm around Micah.
He leaned in and kissed me. “Me too, trust me. I didn’t even dare move when Creamsicle came up to sit next to me. I didn’t try to pet him, but he stayed close, so that’s progress. Until the big scary man came home and disturbed him,” he teased me.
I rolled my eyes. “The big scary man is the one who lived here first,” I said.
“Yeah, but he’s a cat, so it’s his house now,” Micah said. He kept a straight face, but I could see the humor in his eyes. “He just lets us live here.”
“What did you get me into?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He giggled. “Just… be glad Snowflake hates dogs.” With those words, he kissed me, then closed his laptop. “How was your evening with Rick? Did you hate it as much as you thought you would?”
I dug my fingers in his ribs until he giggled. “I didn’t say I would hate it! I just said I’d rather be at home with you. And that’s still true. But yes, it was a nice evening, even though I’m happy to be here again.”
Micah yawned when I let up on him then leaned back against my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re back home, too. It’s boring without you.” I was going to reply, but he beat me to it. “Still, you’re not going to get out of spending time with your friends, and I’ll do the same. Unsupervised.” He glared at me. “Sean will just have to behave.”
I laughed. “Just let him know. Or let Rick know. He’ll make sure Sean behaves.”
Micah snuggled closer. “You can talk to Rick. That’s not my job. Now, I think I need a bottle and some cuddles, then you can put me to bed.”
My cock jumped at his suggestion, but I’d have to make sure he didn’t fall asleep again. I had a nice evening with Rick, but being home with my baby and having him close to me was way better. “How about a quick bath, then I’ll get you ready for bed and give you your bottle there?”
Micah snuggled closer. “I really don’t want to get up, but that sounds good… I’m going to need extra cuddles if you make me move now.”
“Now that I can do, baby. And I’ll use the body lotion on you.”
His eyes lit up. “Now that’s an offer.” He jumped up, petted Snowflake’s head, since he woke him, and then turned around to me. “Come on, Daddy, I need to get to bed. I’m tired.”
He looked everything but tired, but who was I to say no to this offer?
Chapter Six
Carter
Cleaning sucked, and I hated it. But I was at home during the day while Micah was at school or work. Since I worked in the evenings, I had time on my hands, so I did what I needed to do.
That, and I checked my phone, since Micah often texted during the day. Usually, it wasn’t more than a hello or something like that, but it still made me smile.
Who was I kidding? Everything my baby did made me smile.
I looked at the screen, but nothing new popped up. With a sigh, I put the rag I’d just cleaned the sink with down, and wrote, “Hey baby, how is it going?”
His answer came immediately. “Booooring, Daddy. Soooo boring.”
He usually loved classes, so this was something new. “What’s the problem, baby?”
“We’re doing reviews for finals. Same old stuff I already know.”
Well, I couldn’t let my baby suffer alone, right?
“Then we need to make this more interesting, don’t you think?” I glanced at the counter I’d started working on cleaning, but it was far less interesting than talking to Micah. And if my memory didn’t fail me, he’d once brought me into a very interesting situation during a meeting. It might be time for revenge.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Hmmm. We could talk about what we’re going to do tonight, when you’re home… and I’m home. And my baby is tired…”
His answer came immediately. “You mean when I curl up in bed and pass out from exhaustion? :-P I think we can talk about that pretty fast.”
“I was thinking more about making my baby relax, so he can get a good night’s sleep :-P” I couldn’t help but smile, imagining the look on his face. Was he smiling too?
“Why do I have the feeling your definition of relaxing and mine are different?”
I laughed, leaning against the counter before I answered, “Because mine is way more fun.”
“Do tell.”
“Well, I’d make sure you eat first. All you have to do is sit there and open your mouth as I’m feeding you.” I always liked getting to take care of him that way, but it was somehow more intimate when we were talking about it this way. I wasn’t even sure why, but I wasn’t going to stop it.
“Hmm, sounds good so far. Can I close my eyes?”
“Sure. I’ll care for you.”
“I know that already, Daddy. :-P”
I rolled my eyes. “Don�
�t be a brat. Anyway, I’d feed you, then take you to the bathroom, where you can have a long, warm bath with bubbles and back rubs. I’d wash you carefully, make sure you’re really clean for your Daddy. Then, when we get out, I’d dry you off and put some lotion on you.”
“Go on. This sounds good. I need that. And I probably shouldn’t stand up right now.”
I couldn’t help but be proud of that. Once, he might’ve felt awkward about us talking like this, but now, it brought him memories that turned him on as much as they turned me on. “Me neither.”
I paused. Should I mention what I wanted to happen in this particular fantasy? Would it be it too much? Rick had made it sound like I was still going too slow, like I was protecting Micah far too much, and maybe he’d been right. Maybe it was time to treat him like he was a little less fragile.
“After making sure the body lotion was everywhere, and adding some baby powder, I’d grab a diaper and put it on you, making sure to stroke you a few times through it…” I worried a little about what his reaction to the idea of a diaper might be, but I wasn’t ever going to get anywhere by holding back. If he didn’t want it, he’d tell me. Wouldn’t he? I had to hope so, since part of moving forward meant talking freely to him and giving him the chance to say yes or no.
“Daddy!!”
“Yeah, baby?” My heart leapt into my throat. Was this a good thing or a bad thing? Had I gone too far?
“Why are you doing this to me? I can’t ever leave here!”
I chuckled, relieved that I wasn’t going too far. “Oh, you’ll have to. Otherwise, I can’t do what we’re talking about, and wouldn’t that be a shame?”
He obviously wasn’t paying any attention to his class, because his answers kept coming as fast as I could reply. “Tell me more. Please.”
“Well, after making sure the diaper is fitting correctly, I’d get the panties I bought you… the ones that go over the diaper. I’d dress you in one, maybe in a lovely pink? By then, you’d be so hard, you’d be already on the edge, don’t you think? Being laid out before your Daddy, letting him see you, all naked, hard, covered in a diaper and the pink panties…” My cock was pressing against the zipper of my pants, and I had to reach down to cup it, lightly squeezing myself through my jeans.
