by R. Phoenix
Micah stopped, turned around, and his eyes were sparkling. "You're awfully bossy for not being my Daddy right now."
I kissed him again, because, hell, why shouldn’t I? The kiss deepened, with Micah's tongue bolder than usual and taking over the kiss. I let him, allowing him to control the pace and intensity, until I couldn't even stand upright anymore and my cock was getting uncomfortably hard.
Only then was it time to answer his question. "I'll always be your Daddy, my sweet boy. Even if I'm having my partner in bed, not my boy." That didn’t completely make sense, but he nodded, so he seemed to get what I wanted to say.
He smiled. "I’m glad. Anyway, bedtime." With those words, he turned around and tugged me with him, up the stairs and to the bedroom.
This time, I didn't get to undress him, because he was naked faster than I could blink.
"Come on. I need you." He tried to press against me, but I gently held him at a short distance.
I kept staring at his beautiful body, taking him in. The makeup was one thing, and he'd even worn some skin tight panties. Not pink and feminine, but definitely not screaming masculine either… Just Micah.
"Did you fall asleep?" His tone was teasing as he cupped my cock through my jeans, giving it a squeeze.
It jerked below his palm, and I grinned at him. "Not at all. Just enjoying the view."
"Well, then, let me have something to enjoy, too. Otherwise this is way too one-sided." He pressed in close, his hard cock rubbing against mine.
Usually, Micah wasn't this bold, but I liked it. Not all the time, since I wanted to have my boy, but it was nice seeing him this confident and secure in who he was. I didn't want to even think about how makeup made him feel stronger and more confident, because I'd probably get a headache trying to figure out the logic behind that one. But then, it was probably the same as with our age play, with his feminine clothes and everything else. We did what worked for us.
Because, in the end, it was still just us.
And it was perfect that way.
"If you don't start moving soon, I'm going to be insecure about my makeup again, and I have to say it was nice to see you liking it."
Micah's words brought me back into the present, so I shook my head, smiled, then unceremoniously dropped my pants, followed by my t-shirt. Then I stared at the white furball on the bed. "Snowflake, come on. You need to let your daddies play alone a bit." He wagged his tail, but when I didn’t back down, he gave me the most mournful puppy eyes. “Snowflake…” He finally jumped off the bed and out of the open door. "Okay, baby, now I'm all yours."
I shut the door behind Snowflake, leaving the two of us alone. Micah didn't wait any longer. He jumped me. I caught him as he landed in my arms and carried him over to the bed, cupping his full, sexy ass maybe a bit longer than necessary… or not long enough, based on the look I got when I laid him down.
Looking at him, I took in all of his body. "You're so damn sexy. I can't believe you're mine."
He smiled slowly. "And I can't believe you're mine either."
Instead of answering, I kissed him again, this time showing him exactly how much he was mine and I was his. Micah's hands covered my ass, holding me close, even though it wasn't the most comfortable position at all. But I didn't mind.
Our hard cocks rubbed at each other, precum slicking the way. "I need you, Carter. Need you so much," he murmured between kisses, then immediately pulled me back to press his lips against mine again.
He usually let me take the lead, but this was so hot, I couldn't hold myself back much longer.
"I need you too. Can't wait to feel you." His nails dug into my ass again, spreading my cheeks. Cold air hit my hole, and I shivered. I hadn't bottomed in a long, long time.
Did I want to do that? Would Micah be up to it? I preferred to top, usually. But sometimes, in really rare moments, I could let someone else take over. Maybe this was one of them.
Besides, Micah had been a virgin when we’d met, so he'd never experienced it. He also wouldn't ever ask me, simply because that wasn't him. He gave, and I took. I cared, and he let himself be cared for. Not that he didn’t care, but it was in a different way. That was our relationship.
But for me, that also meant I needed to give him all the experiences he could have, so he'd never feel like he missed out on anything. I wouldn't allow that. If Micah really thought I was the one he wanted to spend his life with, he might want to try it one day. If he hated it, well, I wouldn't have a problem with it. If he liked it, I could deal, too. I'd handle nearly everything to have him stay with me.
Micah kissed me again, demanding attention.
"I want you to fuck me today, baby." I whispered the words, but Micah instantly froze below me.
"What?" His voice gave away his surprise.
"You. In me. You should know the mechanics." I smiled.
"No. I don't… I don't want to hurt you."
My sweet baby. "Listen, I always take care of you. That means guiding you through this. How does that sound?" I kissed him again, trying to show him how much I meant what I said.
"I'm not sure what to say… Thank you?"
I chuckled. "Nothing. Just yes."
Micah beamed at me, his eyes sparkling. "All right. Then yes, Daddy."
My heart raced. Even though today he was very much not my little, he called me Daddy… just as I called him my baby. It showed how deeply our relationship went — as though I needed a reminder about that.
"Love you, my baby." I kissed him again before he could reply, then rolled us around until we were side by side. I got the lube, and instead of making sure Micah was ready for me, I started to prep myself.
Of course, Micah didn't want to miss anything, so his curious fingers followed mine, feeling how I stretched myself for him. The intrusion was strange, somehow, but I closed my eyes and just let him touch along with my fingers.
It didn't even take that long to be ready, which might have had to do with the fact that I needed him inside of me. I was beyond the point where I could wait, so I might've hurried a bit. "How do you want me?" I asked.
Micah's eyes met mine, and he looked at me with uncertainty. "No idea?"
"Then how about me on my back and you between my legs?" It looked like I still needed to take the lead here — which was a comfort.
"Sounds good to me." Micah sat up to let me roll over. Within moments, he was between my legs, staring at me. "Are you sure?" His hands explored me like he was seeing me for the very first time. He wrapped his fingers around my cock, caressed my balls, then went lower again to tease my slick hole. “This feels so good… For you, too?”
It had been a long time since I’d let anyone top me, but with Micah, it just felt right. I wanted him to have the experience of it, even if it wasn’t something I’d want to do on a regular basis. “Yes,” I told him, looking up at him. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
Micah bit his bottom lip and nodded. “I know. I… want to try it. I want to know what it’s like. I’m just worried about hurting you.”
“You won’t hurt me,” I assured him. “I’ve already gotten myself stretched for you. Just go slow and take it easy, and we’ll be fine.”
Micah’s eyes scanned my expression, anxiety in his own, but he nodded.
“Now stop stalling,” I said, a small smile on my lips.
He hesitated again before pressing the head of his cock against my lubed-up hole. I relaxed my body, not wanting to make it hard for him to press inside of me, and I was rewarded with the feeling of his cockhead easily pushing past my rim. I moaned, feeling the sting of the stretch but knowing this was Micah.
He looked down at me. “Okay?” he asked, barely inside of me.
“More than okay,” I told him, reaching up to brush a few strands of his hair behind his ear. “Keep going.”
“I can’t go too fast,” Micah said, and he let out a shy little laugh. “If I do, I’m going to end up coming.”
“That is sort
of the point of this, baby boy,” I told him, deadpan.
He rolled his eyes, pushing a little more deeply inside of me. “Not in ten seconds, it’s not.”
“You’re assuming I have the ability to last longer than that, baby."
He chuckled, slipping deeper inside of me. My body tensed for a second then relaxed again. Having him so deep, so intimate…
I looked into his eyes, seeing his love for me. I cupped his cheek as he went deeper, managing at least a bit more before he had to pause to get a grip on himself again. I simply watched him, not daring to touch myself, because I hadn't lied. This wouldn't last long for me either.
Micah was breathing roughly, his teeth digging into his bottom lip, but he held himself back until he was completely inside of me.
"This feels… amazing." His words were just above a whisper, but I heard them.
"Believe me, not just for you." His eyes met mine, but before I could even more stare at his beautifully made up face, he leaned down to kiss me. I wasn't 20 anymore and bending that way wasn't easy, but I managed. For him.
He kissed me deeply, taking my mouth like he did with my ass, then he finally started moving. One stroke, nearly out and back in, and his eyes went wide. "Fuck, now I know why you love it that much." He thrust again.
I grinned as I wrapped a hand around my own cock, not wanting to be left behind when he came. "Yep. But I won’t always let you top me."
Micah's eyes sparkled. "Hell, no. I love bottoming way too much to do that." He thrust again, closing his eyes slowly. "This is gonna be fast, sorry."
"No worries, baby."
He sped up, thrusting deep into my body. Within moments, he shuddered, and his eyes squeezed shut. Micah shivered, his body tensed, then warmth filled me. I followed him, jerking my cock.
Lost in passion, my Micah was so unbelievably beautiful that I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Heat pooled in my balls and I came, spurting over my hand. The smell of cum filled the air and mixed with my deep groan.
Micah pressed himself deep, holding tight, and another shiver wracked his body.
It took him a moment to breathe again, but then, he opened his eyes and looked at me. "That was… Wow."
I smiled. "Yeah, that it was."
Before I could say anything else, he sank down on my stomach, smearing my mess between our bodies. Well, we needed a shower anyway.
His head came to rest on my shoulder, and he snuggled close. "Thank you, Daddy. I never expected it to be like this…" He trailed off.
"Nothing to thank me for, baby." I kissed his head. "You know I'd give you the world, if I could."
"You already do, Daddy." He didn't move and didn't seem to think we needed to get up.
"How about a shower?" I finally asked, before we fell asleep like this.
"You need to give me a bath, Daddy. This is now your job again." Micah yawned. "Or better yet, just get a washcloth and clean us up."
I stared at the tiny wooden animals, not sure if I should really do this.
No, I knew I should. It would show Micah what he meant to me. The issue was just… It was another step toward letting go of Nic, of our memories. A part of me felt like I was replacing him, even though that was complete bullshit. I knew that, logically, but my heart wasn't always on the same page.
Micah wasn't a replacement. He was just my second chance at being happy.
Now if the damn voice in my mind would shut up, I could actually focus on getting Micah his "you made it through your first exam" gift. It would take some time until he was completely done, but he was getting more stressed. I wanted to give him something, show him I was proud of him… and yeah, that I was totally, head over heels for him.
I picked up some different animals then put them down.
Years ago, I'd done nearly the same when we'd finished the nursery. I'd surprised Nic with the tiny figures, and… He'd loved them so much. When Micah came into my life, I'd removed them from the dresser, leaving room for something new.
Now, more than three years after Nicholas's death, I was ready to replace them.
Slowly, I picked up the fish and looked at it. It was cute, a fish like you'd draw for a kid, in blue and green. I held it in my hand, wrapping my fingers securely around it. Then I moved on to the next box where the “girls'” things were, mostly in purple and pink. I hated the separation, but I couldn't change it. I just picked out a little princess, complete with a purple dress and sparkling gemstones on a tiny crown. It was just as cute.
My eyes stung. This was the final step toward healing… No, not really. One of the final steps. There were more to go, but it was possible. This was a step I needed to take, not only to show Micah he was welcome, but to show him he had a place with me. It was his room now. Our room. Not Nic's and mine.
I bent my head, closing my eyes. Wherever you are, baby, I hope you approve of my choice. He's never going to replace you, you know that. But you're not here with me anymore, and I think you sent him, didn't you? You made me promise to move on, and I think I managed. I've loved you deeply and a part of me will always love you. But it's time to move on, little one.
I opened my eyes and wiped away a tear. I hadn't talked to Nic in a long, long time, but it felt right. It was a goodbye of some sort, something I needed. With a last look at the different animals, I turned around and headed to the register to buy the figures I’d chosen.
"Oh, those are adorable! Your kids will love them!" a woman in front of me gushed, ripping me from my morose thoughts.
It took me a moment until I realized what she was talking about, but then I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure they will. It's a surprise for them." I smiled at her.
"That's lovely. You're a good daddy." She turned around to hand over her credit card.
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop my laughter. Yeah, I tried really hard to be a good Daddy… just not in the sense she meant.
When she'd paid, she picked up her stuff, then turned around. "Everyone deserves a daddy like you." With that, she was gone and I stared at her, lost at what was that about.
I had no idea, but at least my mood had lifted a lot, thanks to her.
Chapter Eleven
Micah
What a shitty day. What a shitty, shitty day. One of the dogs in the shelter had been returned, because apparently he was too hairy to be kept with those people… I didn't get it, but now the dog who'd been so happy to get out was back in the kennels. Then exams were looming, and it was… ugh.
There was just so much stuff, so much to do, so much to remember.
"Hey baby," Carter called out when I opened the door.
I smiled at Snowflake, who waited by the door, patting his head. Creamsicle was nowhere to be seen, which worried me more and more. He came out when I was around, but not when Carter was there. Would Carter get sick of having something living under his couch? I could kind of understand that, even though he said it didn't bother him… but still, that also wasn't the reason someone got a cat, right?
Maybe I needed to bring home a second one, so we had one that he could actually see and touch… No, that was ridiculous, and it wouldn’t help Creamsicle adjust any faster.
"Baby? Everything okay?" Carter stood in front of me, looking worried.
I hadn't even noticed him, but I looked up from where I'd been petting Snowflake. I met his eyes. "Yeah. Sorry. I'm just… shitty day." I shook my head and stepped forward as he opened his arms.
He hugged me close, pressing me against his chest. It was like a cage, protecting me from the world. "Can I do anything for you?" he asked quietly.
"No," I murmured against his chest, not even having the energy to look up. "Just exams and work and everything else."
He kissed the top of my head and held me, rocking me gently from side to side. "How about we sit down and talk? Or would you rather eat something?"
I shook my head. "I don't even know what I want or need. Just… I'm not sure. I know I should be fine, but I've been going over stuff and it just
feels like it's all so much…” I trailed off, not even knowing what I wanted to say.
Maybe I should’ve paid more attention during the review instead of sexting.
"Come with me, baby. Let's move this to the living room, then you can tell me, okay?" He drew me with him, his arm still on my shoulder.
Until today I'd been okay, but somehow, it had hit me hard. I was about to finish my studies and maybe start working. Well, hopefully, since I needed to send off more applications. I hadn't heard from the companies I’d applied to, which also didn't help.
What if I couldn’t find a job? What if I did? I wouldn't be able to work at the shelter anymore, at least not that much. It’d be limited to the weekends, which I wanted to spend with Carter, but the animals were such a big part of my life too.
I cuddled close to Carter, who held me tight against his body. “How about we set a playdate, baby?”
I paused to think about it. “I’m not sure. I don't think I can let go and relax when there’s so much occupying my mind.”
Even though Carter meant well, I didn't think I could just sink into my role completely.
“Not now, not before your exam, but maybe afterward, on the weekend.”
I heard the hope in his voice, and while I wasn’t sure it would work, I understood. He wanted to help me the way he knew how, and I appreciated it. It was just hard to imagine playing with my toys when I had so much going on in my mind.
I paused and cleared my throat. “It's just hard to imagine it. There’s so much pressure, and a playdate is different from just the two of us…”
Carter didn’t say anything for so long, I wasn’t sure he was going to speak again. But finally he continued, “That's exactly why you should play, baby boy. You need time without all the pressure, to just be yourself. If you don't want to, I'm going to respect it. But I want you to think about it. It's usually the best way to get rid of any kind of stress. Look at Sean. He acts out the worst when his stress levels are high. And this is exactly when he needs Rick to take over and give him the quiet time he needs.” He paused. “If you want, we can wait until after all your exams are done. Or we can set up something for the upcoming weekend when you have the first one behind you.” His hand rubbed my back. “I’d love to decide that for you, but I’m not completely sure if you’re on board with that. So I won't do that until you give me your okay.”
