Titan: We fell in love — in the cruelest of ways

by Fields, MJ

  “You think maybe you shouldn’t answer it?” Then I add, “I mean, what with all the strange company you keep and all.”

  “Your mother is fine, and so are my daughter and granddaughter. No one would dare lay a hand on them as long as they’re close enough.”

  An uneasy feeling washes over me.

  I quickly scan the room as I stand. “I’m going to use the bathroom.”

  I don’t wait for directions; I just head toward the hallway that my mother came from. Kitchens have doors, and if not, it sure as hell has windows.

  What the hell was I thinking? I scold myself.

  “Lieutenant Titan has returned,” my mother says in a sing-song voice.

  The hair stands up on the back of my neck as I pass by the foyer without a second glance.

  “Baby doll, your friend is here,” Mom says with a smile in her voice.

  “Doc,” his voice carries depth and authority in my parents’ home, which makes me even more nervous.

  I turn and point at him. “I knew you were too good to be true.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Laura, no one is out to get you.”

  “Lee,” my mother scolds, “language. We have company.”

  She’s clueless, absolutely clueless.

  When I look at Tanner, his eyes soften.

  “You’ve had a long day. Just come sit down, and we’ll—”

  “You’ve had a long day? What are you even doing here?”

  “Oh, he’s been here for a few hours.” Dad sighs.

  “A few?” I stop and point at Tanner. “How long have you been working with him?”

  “Haven’t worked with him at all,” he tells me. “Just met a couple hours ago. If you’d told me you were coming, or maybe answered a text, I could have saved you a layover, and we could have flown together.”

  I shake my head.

  “Just sit. We have a lot to discuss.”

  24

  The Truth Hurts

  Titan

  “How can I trust—”

  “You know damn well you can.” When I see no resignation in her eyes, I walk to her and take her hand, squeezing it gently as I look her in the eyes and repeat the truth, “You know you can.”

  She pulls her hand back, crosses her arms over her chest, and then walks to the couch. When she sits, she sits in the corner, kicks off her shoes, pulls her legs up, and hugs them to her chest.

  I sit next to Laurie and tell Lee, “Feel free to start.” When he hesitates, I tell him, “She deserves clarification.”

  He takes another drink and looks at his daughter. “I knew Deveraux back in the days we lived in DC. I knew he was friends with some higher-ranking military personnel, and it’s never a bad thing to be civil to people who know people who could help advance your career. I saw him a few times at a park with his daughter, and you and she used to play together.”

  She tilts her head. “Mimi Deveraux.”

  “You and that girl played all the damn time Never understood why the hell you put up with the snippy little shit, but you did. Pushed her on the swings, went down the slide first when the damn thing was wet.”

  “She did it because she was raised to be a nice girl.”

  “Yeah, well, that little bitch wasn’t right. That was confirmed the day you ended up getting stitches because she threw a rock, and it hit you in the back of the head.

  “Most kids would show remorse if they hurt another. This one had a blank expression. I called him on it.”

  “You did more than call him on it.” Jodi laughed. “You held him against a tree.”

  Lee looked down and smiled. “Lost my temper a bit.” When he looks back up, his smile is gone. “He gave me a sob story about how his alcoholic wife was ruining her, and I gave him the name of a …” He stops.

  “Nothing to be ashamed of, Lee.” Jodi walks over and sits on the arm of the chair. “A couple’s therapist we saw when we got back together after our separation. She helped him deal with his PTSD from his missions and from GITMO. She helped me understand what he was going through, as well. She saved him. She saved us.”

  Laurie sits back now and curls her feet under herself, visibly relaxing.

  “Less than a week later, I was encouraged to apply to become a warrant officer. Same day I applied, I picked you up early from school and we went to a new park. While sitting there, watching you, my teenage girl playing with the kids, smiling and having fun, I saw the two of them come in through the gate. When I started to make my way to you, he caught up to me, thanked me for the recommendation, and asked me if I applied for the position. I found out he had recommended me to one of my commanders.”

  “I remember that girl. I can’t believe it was Mimi,” she says, picking at absolutely nothing on her shirt.

  “Crazy little shit, but she never threw another rock.”

  Jodi sighs exaggeratedly. “Tell her why.”

  “Not necessary, JoJo.”

  Jodi, or JoJo, laughs. “He told her, if she did, he’d do it to her father harder.”

  “Ended up being friends with the man, went for coffee once a month, and didn’t talk about shit but his crazy wife and mine.”

  Jodi slaps him. “Oh, please.”

  “You expect me to believe that’s it?” Laurie laughs angrily. “Do you think I’m that stupid?”

  Lee shakes his head. “Saw him a few years later when his daughter was pregnant. He asked me for help finding him an agency that would do closed adoption and do it quietly.”

  “Lily?” she asks.

  He nods. “I’m guilty of many things, Laura, but—”

  “Laurie,” she corrects him.

  “Bullshit, the name you were given is Laura, and your mother and everyone else may have caved to the change, but you’re my Laura.”

  “Can we save this fight for later and continue? Your daughter is tired and needs to sleep.”

  “I know what my daughter needs and no frog boy is gonna tell me—”

  I point at him. “Keep your shit up, and I’ll make you call me Lieutenant. Now, carry on.”

  “As I told you when you barged in here throwing around threats, your rank doesn’t mean shit in my home.”

  “And as I told you—”

  “Okay, okay. Enough,” Jodi interrupts. “I need this to be over so I know where I stand.”

  Laurie gives her a questioning look.

  I reach over and take her hand. “You remember what I said to you before I left your house this morning?”

  She nods.

  “I trust you, and you have to give me the same thing, Doc. You have to give me the same fucking thing.”

  She nods and sits back.

  I look at Lee and nod.

  “I told you I had done some things I regret. Well, I regret taking on that mission, making sure he had documentation and nothing that could be traced back to him.” He takes a deep breath and finishes his drink. “I met a young Navy officer and a baby. I escorted them to Canada. On the way back, he was kind of a mess. I knew then it was his kid.”

  “Will?” Laurie asked, and he nodded, confirming.

  “A year later, I saw the kid at a gala. He was drunk, emotional, and told me he regretted the decision. I told him to thank his lucky stars that that little girl wasn’t going to have a crazy-ass mother and that he could continue serving his country without having that worry hanging over his head.” He looks up at the ceiling. “A couple years later, I saw the same kid. He was drunk again and told me he never stopped thinking about her. I told him to stop being a pussy because that kid had a family who was taking care of her the way he couldn’t. I told him to find a nice girl to start a family with. Apparently, he listened.” The way he looks at her is the way a caring father would look at his little girl the first time she got her heart broken.

  “Not long after that, I saw Deveraux and told him the kid was having a hard time and that maybe he should let him know the baby girl was okay. I should have never told him that, and I will live th
e rest of my life regretting that decision. The one that caused my baby girl to do this alone.”

  “Do you have any proof that Deveraux was behind—”

  He shakes his head. “Wish I did. I did go to Deveraux after you and I spoke and told him, if he ever looked in your direction, I would kill him with my bare hands and no one would ever know.”

  “Did you ever check on Lily to see if she did, in fact, have a good life, Dad?”

  “No, and I would never do that.”

  “That poor girl—”

  “Laura, I would never do that because, if someone had done that to me, I would have rained hell upon them for fucking up my family more than I had already done.”

  “But you could have at least …” She stops and cocks her head to the side. I watch as she looks at her father, tears welling in his eyes. Then she looks at her mother, whose tears are already falling. Then she looks at me, her brows knit. “I don’t understand.”

  Jodi sobs out, “I was in nursing school and had just lost—”

  “JoJo,” Lee sighs out, taking her hand and holding it to his mouth.

  “She needs to know, Lee. We need to be a family again.”

  Lee looks at Laurie. “Your mom’s best friend had just died in a car accident, but her child lived.”

  Jodi sniffs. “Her name was …” She stops.

  Lee finishes for her, “The night I met your mom, she was drunk and crying on the pier. She was beautiful. Still beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that when she told me she had just lost her pregnant best friend and that the little girl lived, but she couldn’t adopt her because she was young and unmarried, I told her I’d marry her.”

  “And he did.” Jodi smiles at him. “My parents disowned me.”

  “I didn’t let go.” He winks at her then looks at Laurie. “Twelve months later, we were approved and our then foster child became legally ours. It was one hell of a honeymoon.”

  Unable to speak, Laurie points to herself.

  Jodi nods and sniffs before saying, “Yes.”

  Laurie swallows back tears. “What was her name?”

  “Laura, not Laurie. Laura,” Lee answers, one tear rolling down his cheek.

  “Because we didn’t want it to change you, and we didn’t want it to change us,” Jodi answers.

  “Because we were selfish and always believed that, no matter what we went through, how hard life had been up until then, we met each other because of something divine.”

  “But we lived with Mom’s parents when you split.”

  “As soon as they met you, they couldn’t deny you, Laura. You were always something special, something divine.”

  Laurie lets go of my hand and stands up.

  “Please don’t hate us,” Jodi begs.

  “Mom, I would never hate you. I just need a minute.”

  25

  And It Also Heals

  Laurie

  When I walk outside, I hear footsteps behind me and know immediately whose they are.

  “I know this is one hell of a pill to swallow, Doc, but it’s gotta be better than what you thought he hid.”

  “How long have you known?”

  He chuckles, and it hurts when he does.

  “I came here because I knew you’d reached out to them and not tell me. I assumed you were going to ask him for help finding our girl.”

  I turn to look at him. “I was.”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  “Thinking he had something to do with Will’s death and wanting to trust you, even though, deep down, I have never trusted anyone. And now I think I know why.”

  “Don’t do that to yourself.”

  “Do what?”

  “Start having an identity crisis. One, because you know who the hell you are. And two, because that smug bastard in there will win the argument that he and I had for over an hour if you do.”

  “Argument?”

  “He told me we’re nuts to want to find her and bring her home, Doc. And I know we haven’t talked about it but, in our hearts, she is ours, and we are hers. She is mine, and she is yours. And yes, fuck yes, it’s going to be hard, and she’s not a baby that we can keep it from, even though I wish we could. But I know damn well she is ours. And I know damn well she is good. And I know damn well Calee and her will love each other as much as we love them. And for fuck’s sake”—he raises his hands—“I have said the L-word more times today than I have my entire life.”

  “You’re insane, you know?”

  “No, Doc, I’m not, and neither are you. Come on, Doc; what do you say? Let’s get married so we can go get our girl and bring her home.”

  “But you said we’d be in danger. And wait, did you just ask me to marry you?”

  “Shit.” He starts to bend down, pulling a box out of his pocket.

  “Don’t do that. You’re supposed to be taking it easy.” I point at the box. “Or that. You are insane, you know?” I can’t help smiling because he is.

  “Stop asking that damn question and let me ask you a question. And I expect it to be answered honestly.”

  I cover my face. “I’m so tired. I lost my job today, can’t afford my house, found out I was adopted, and now—”

  He laughs. God, his laugh is beautiful.

  “What?”

  “Imagine our Christmas cards. Fuck that. Imagine Halloween.”

  “You’ve officially lost your damn mind.”

  “I don’t give a damn. Tell me, did you call them to find help in getting her home?”

  “Maybe?” My voice squeaks. “I mean, yes.” I begin to pace. “I mean—”

  “Doc, you ever go a day without thinking of her, or dreaming of her, or wondering if she’s okay?”

  I shake my head.

  “Me neither.”

  “That doesn’t mean you have to get married. I mean, that’s seriously no reason to get married.”

  “Actually, it does. We have to be married, and we have to live in Turkey for about a year. And—”

  “Wait. What?”

  “Your father knows someone within who owes him a favor.”

  “I’m sure it’s illegal, Tanner.”

  “Well, political asylum would take just as long. And if they wanted to find her, that would be a big fucking problem for us. And we’ve talked about how corrupt our government is. We can’t let them have her.”

  “Who has her now?”

  “A couple of Johnny’s guys are in the camp she’s in. And yes, they’ve been talking to her. I haven’t FaceTime’d her, because I can’t do this without you.”

  “Because you have to be married?” I point at the box.

  “No, Doc, because I can’t do it without you. As a team, we’re unstoppable. Power couple of the century.”

  “So, without me, you can’t—”

  “Without you, I wouldn’t be alive.” He shakes his head and looks at the ring, “Come on, Doc; say yes.”

  “I don’t want to get married for reasons other than love.”

  “Then do me a favor. Tell me you fucking love me because if I’m honest, it kind of sucks not hearing it back after I’ve saved those words my whole life, thinking I would never find a person worthy of the magnitude of what they mean to me.”

  I nod as I try to will my heart from pounding so hard in my throat that I feel like I can’t breathe.

  “I love you, Laurie. Please say yes.”

  I force out the words in a gust of air, “I love you. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  In his eyes, I see something I have never seen before. I see the love I have always wanted.

  When he wraps his arms around me and lifts me up, I hold on tight as I look him in the eyes. “We weren’t supposed to fall, but we did. We fell in love in the cruelest of ways.”

  “Then everything else should be smooth sailing.”

  “I love you, Tanner Titan.”

  “I love you, Doc.”

  When he kisses me, it’s gentle, it’s easy, it’s love.

 
Hugging him, I look over his shoulder and see my parents. I realize immediately that theirs is the love I was always seeking and never could find … until now.

  26

  Two Months Later…

  Tanner

  I am living a life I swore I never wanted, one that I would now fight to the death to keep forever.

  I lost a leg yet gained a life.

  The night I asked her to marry me, she said, “We weren’t supposed to fall, but we did. We fell in love in the cruelest of ways.” I laugh now at my response, that it will all “Be smooth sailing.”

  There hasn’t been a damn thing smooth about the past two months, but we seem to be managing our lives like a Fortune 500 company. We talk and plan and make every decision together.

  When we left California and came back to Norfolk, we kept things on the down low, which was harder than I imagined. I want to spend every second with her.

  It’s hard as hell to believe that I am falling even harder for her now. But we have others to consider. Lots of others.

  It isn’t that I want to keep it from Irons and Shadows. It is just best for them to be blind to it all until every wrinkle was ironed out.

  We made future plans as young officers. We wanted to make the world a safer place. That will never change. It’s who we are. And now it’s an even stronger need because I have three more reasons to make sure that happens.

  Doc, her folks, and I agreed to take Will’s involvement in Lily’s adoption to the grave. What good would come of anyone knowing? None.

  Although not the same situation, but adoption, nonetheless, came understanding by Doc as to why her folks kept the secret for so long. Doc and her mom talked about Laura, the young woman who gave birth to her the same day she died in a car accident. Apparently, Doc was born premature, and almost died too. But the got to her just in time. Jodi said it was like a second chance to meet the person who meant the most to her all over again. The same person whose death brought Lee into her life and gave her the means to keep her. The man who loved her through all the bad times, and that she, too, would love through all his.