February Or Forever

by Juliet Madison

  ‘Actually, I might walk back. It’s not far, I could do with the fresh air.’

  ‘Okay then. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning after school drop off,’ she said, starting the engine and waving goodbye.

  When the car was out of the driveway, Drew said, ‘I’ll have to cancel tomorrow’s class, hope that’s okay.’ He needed to be with his family right now, do whatever was needed and support his mum and sister.

  ‘It’s more than okay. Take as much time as you need,’ she replied, then turned to Kai. ‘C’mon Mister, time for bed.’

  On cue, he yawned, and headed inside.

  ‘You sure I can’t get you something before you walk back?’ Chrissie raised her eyebrows. ‘I made chocolate chip cookies while the boys watched a movie today.’ She smiled.

  ‘You know just how to get my attention, don’t you?’ He grinned, and hung an arm loosely around her back as they walked inside together.

  Chapter 22

  ‘What will it be today?’ Jonah, the barista, asked as Chrissie walked up to the counter at Café Lagoon on Wednesday afternoon with Kai by her side.

  ‘One vanilla milkshake, and a…’ she eyed the blackboard menu, ‘what’s a dandelion chai?’

  ‘It’s a mixture of dandelion — a herb — with chai spices. So it’s like chai tea but without the tea. Has a warmer, more robust flavour. And apparently it’s good for you, according to our resident naturopath in town.’

  Chrissie’s eyes widened and she nodded, impressed. ‘That’s not Mark, by any chance, is it?’

  ‘Yes, Mark Bastian, you know him?’

  ‘No, I just picked up his business card recently.’

  ‘Nice bloke.’

  ‘I think I’ll take his advice and have a dandelion chai, then.’ Chrissie smiled.

  ‘Coming right up. Having here or take away?’

  ‘We’ll have it here, I think.’ She glanced at Kai who was eyeing the array of cakes in the display cabinet. ‘And some banana bread too, please.’ She could share it with Kai.

  ‘Sure.’ He took her payment. ‘Haven’t seen you in here for our music nights yet.’

  ‘Oh, haven’t had a chance. Soon hopefully.’

  ‘What about this Saturday? Barry Reynolds, a local guy, will be kicking back with a few tunes for the crowd.’

  Barry…Drew’s old friend and Gemma’s Dad? Kai would be at Victor’s this weekend, so she could make it if she wanted to. Kind of sad, going out alone, but she probably couldn’t ask Sarah to come and watch her ex perform.

  ‘I just might do that,’ she replied.

  ‘Well I hope to see you here.’ Jonah smiled.

  ‘Do you ever not work?’ Chrissie asked.

  ‘Ha, not much. It’s my parents’ café so I’m here most of the time. Except when I backpacked around Europe for a while.’

  ‘Well, you do a great job.’

  ‘Why thank you.’ He bowed. ‘Here’s your number and I’ll bring it out to you.’ He handed her a silver stand with the number four on it, and she sat at a table against the wall with Kai, who took a book from his schoolbag and started reading, his little legs swinging back and forth underneath the table. He’d come close to catching the bus today, but chickened out at the last minute. It didn’t matter. He was making progress and that’s all she could ask for.

  As for progress with her and Drew, it had come to a standstill. She’d gone two days without seeing him after their Sunday evening chat on the couch while Kai was in bed. Had his father not been ill who knows what might have happened, but his mind was preoccupied and she could tell he was worn out emotionally, so they just chatted and drank and ate, and then he walked back to Serendipity. It was good that Drew was here to be with his family. Geoff had undergone some kind of procedure to unblock an artery, and was now on medication and strict instructions to take it easy, and was due to be discharged tomorrow morning. Drew had told her all this today, when he’d returned to yoga, after taking Monday and Tuesday off.

  ‘Here you go,’ Jonah said, placing their drinks on the table, then returning with a plate of banana bread, butter melting on top and steaming upwards in thin, smoky ripples.

  ‘Yum,’ Kai said, grabbing a piece and putting almost the whole thing in his mouth.

  ‘Thanks, Jonah.’ She smiled and sipped at her chai, while Jonah remained standing near their table.

  ‘So?’ he asked, gesturing to the drink.

  ‘I like it. Quite nice. Thank you.’

  He bowed again and returned to the counter, while Chrissie’s thoughts returned to Drew. It had been nice to get back to yoga with him today, he needed the peace of it. They hadn’t been flirty and chatty like they usually were; something heavy had hung in the air between them, emphasising that their time was nearly up. Maybe what happened to Geoff had shocked Drew back to reality, made him realise there was no point continuing their secret affair. And maybe Chrissie’s fear of potentially losing her job had knocked some sense back into her. She hated to admit it, but it seemed their time had passed.

  Despite Drew’s change in his demeanour, he did mention he was almost finished writing his new song. When she’d asked if she’d get to listen to it before he left, he seemed unsure. ‘I don’t know if I should,’ he’d said, and then changed the subject. He wouldn’t even tell her the title, and she didn’t want to pry. Maybe she’d just hear it on the radio one day, like every other fan of his.

  When Kai had finished and she’d had enough of dwelling on her own thoughts, she left the café and walked down the street with Kai. She didn’t have to be anywhere else, it was nice to dawdle and browse the shop windows, take in the atmosphere of the friendly town. She walked past the newsagent then did a double take. A news headline caught her eye. Normally she’d ignore them and look away, not wanting to get caught up in the media world that had caused her panic attacks to return, but there was no looking away from this news headline: Is Drew Williams hiding out in Tarrin’s Bay?

  A photo of him looking evasive accompanied the headline.

  ‘Hey, is that painting man?’ Kai asked, pointing.

  ‘Ah, it might be.’ She edged closer to the paper. Who could have let it slip? Did someone at Serendipity sell him out for a few decent bucks?

  She glanced around, as though someone might come up to her and say, ‘why are you buying a newspaper after all this time?’ then picked one up off the stand and paid for it at the counter.

  ‘C’mon, Kai, let’s go to the park. You can have a play for a while.’

  ‘I can? Yes!’ He pumped his fist and they crossed the road hand in hand, the newspaper tucked under Chrissie’s arm.

  He ran to the playground equipment and Chrissie nabbed a seat nearby. She tried to look casual as she read the paper, but her hands wanted to grip it tightly and her mouth wanted to gape. Someone must have recognised him at the hospital when he went to see his dad, that was the most obvious explanation. The article said that people on Twitter had tweeted about seeing him, and the news had spread to fans and journalists who obviously jumped on the opportunity for a scoop. His poor parents. Susan, after everything she was going through, had been contacted by journos trying to get her to tell them if he was staying with them. ‘Drew’s mother was uncooperative’, the article said. Uncooperative? Her husband was in hospital. Geez. They’d also tried calling all the local hotels, B&B’s, even the caravan park, to see if anyone was prepared to give him up. Serendipity, of course, had been contacted, but offered no comment. What shook Chrissie about the article was not all of that, but the reason why he apparently needed to hide out in the first place. If she’d kept an eye on the media she would have known, but she’d been oblivious to it this whole time…Drew’s ex-girlfriend had accused him of being abusive.

  A dead weight sank in Chrissie’s gut. No way. She must be lying. She read the article, scanning repeatedly left to right as fast as she could, and then she turned the page and the photo brought her hand to her mouth in a gasp. Bruises. Cuts. A black eye. On a woman c
lose to her age, probably several years younger. She had blonde hair like hers, long and wavy, and the words the woman used sent a sour feeling winding its way around Chrissie’s body…

  ‘He treated me like I was so special, I really thought he was the right man for me, but just when things got serious, he turned on me. Something snapped, and he got violent at the tiniest little things. I couldn’t do anything right. It’s taken a lot of courage for me to speak out about this, because I know everyone loves him, but I had to. For my sake, for the sake of others he may have hurt as well, and for his sake. He needs help.’

  The paper trembled under Chrissie’s grasp, and her heart wanted her to look away, throw the paper in the bin and forget it, but she couldn’t drag her gaze from the page.

  ‘He sang for me, even wrote a song he said was inspired by me, and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have Drew Williams interested in me — an unknown aspiring actress from Oklahoma.’

  An actress. Well, surely she was acting, then. Wasn’t she? But the bruises, they didn’t look photoshopped, and police reports proved that she did report the assault and they had taken photographic evidence. Although they couldn’t prove it was Drew, the media was hounding him. No wonder he’d had to get away. But what if he got away because he did do something? Maybe he just got a little angry and hurt her by accident and she fabricated the rest? Thoughts and conflicting ideas swirled in Chrissie’s mind, and she gripped the edge of the seat as dizziness overtook her. She Googled the woman’s name, Jolene Burrows, and found more articles and interviews and even a statement by another woman who said she’d left Drew when he’d showed signs of aggression.

  What was she thinking, risking the stability she was striving for by getting involved with a celebrity? They led crazy lives, so far removed from normal life. He was from a different world, a world that was all about appearance and money and ego and competition, a world she didn’t fit into — would never fit into. She shouldn’t have broken the rules and let it develop as far as it did, and she knew it couldn’t last, so why did she have to go and set herself up for heartbreak?

  Chrissie put her phone in her bag and looked up at the sky, the afternoon sun sending rays of sharp orange through her skull, a headache festering underneath. Whether he was guilty or not, she couldn’t get involved in all this. Stability for herself and Kai was top priority. She didn’t need the stress and drama of this sort of stuff impacting on her life. She was here to do one thing — fix up the beach house, sell it, and move on. That was it. It was time to put her silly emotions and hormones aside and get back to doing her job, and doing what was best for Kai and their future.

  Chapter 23

  On Friday morning when Kai was finishing up his breakfast, Chrissie stared at the text message she’d received from Drew the day before, when she’d chucked a sickie from work. She just couldn’t face him. And the day off had been good for her. She’d shopped for new blinds and curtains and replaced the old ones around the house. All by herself. Who said women and drills didn’t mix? It had given the place a new lease of life, and had kept her busy. But of course, when Helena had to tell Drew that she wouldn’t be in for his yoga session, he’d wondered why.

  Chrissie, you okay? Helena said you couldn’t come in today. ~ D.

  She hadn’t replied at first, until his third text that came last night: I’m worried. Are you sick? Is Kai okay?

  She’d replied: I’m okay, thanks for checking.

  And that was it.

  He hadn’t replied after that, and Chrissie knew he was probably upset, but if she got into a discussion with him it might go on and on and she wouldn’t be able to regain her focus. She popped the phone into her bag, asked Kai to carry his plate to the dishwasher, then got him to clean his teeth. Today was the day. She hoped. The day that Kai would finally catch the bus.

  She drove him to the bus stop where a few children and parents were waiting, as they’d done every day for a while now, followed by tailgating the bus all the way to school. Kai had met the bus driver yesterday and he’d said he’d save him a spot in the back seat so he’d be able to see Chrissie in the car behind. All was set.

  ‘Okay, sweetie, time to wait at the bus stop.’ She got out of the car and he did too.

  ‘Mum, you don’t have to call me sweetie. It’s babyish.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just used to it.’ She led him towards the bus stop and nodded hello to the other parents. Yesterday he’d tried to get on the bus but changed his mind half way along the aisle and turned around.

  A young mother approached her. ‘Would he like to sit with my son in the back seat of the bus? This is Jake, he’s in kindergarten.’

  Chrissie eyed Kai, and whether it was the fact that he’d have a friend to sit with or the fact that the kid was in the year younger than him and he felt silly for being so nervous, he nodded with enthusiasm.

  ‘Thanks,’ Chrissie said, and the woman smiled.

  The screech of the bus’s breaks approached, and the loud puff of air as the bus stopped had Chrissie nervous herself. The doors flapped open and the bus driver stood and hung out the door. ‘Today’s V.I.P. passenger is Kai, where’s Kai?’ He scanned the children’s faces. ‘Ah, there you are. Come on up. The back seat is waiting for you.’

  Kai’s eyes widened, and Chrissie’s did too, not expecting this sort of special treatment. What a lovely gesture. Kai looked at the other boy, Jake, then pointed. ‘Can he be a V.I.P. passenger too?’

  The driver nodded, holding out his arm to show the way, and Chrissie half expected him to say ‘All aboard!’ and blow a whistle.

  Kai and Jake stepped onto the bus, only a few other children from the outskirts of Tarrin’s Bay already on it. Kai turned briefly and looked at Chrissie. She waved, then he continued down the aisle and…sat on the seat in the back! Relief washed over her. Before he could change his mind, she walked to the back of the bus where her car was, and waved again at Kai, then got into the driver’s seat. She sat there until all the children had boarded, and when the engine grew louder, Kai sat up tall in his seat with his gaze directed towards the front. When the bus pulled onto the road and Chrissie followed, he looked back at her, then at Jake who said something to him. He alternated between checking she was still behind him and talking to Jake for the whole trip, and soon they arrived at the primary school. Chrissie parked nearby and jumped out, a smile permanently engraved on her face at his achievement. She hung back, not wanting to make a big deal of it in front of everyone, and waited for the children to filter out.

  Jake stepped out, then stopped and waited. The skinny legs of Kai Cavanaugh hopped off the bus, his backpack bouncing behind him, and he took a few steps forward then glanced back, his face lighting up on seeing Chrissie. She smiled widely and was about to wave when his two little thumbs pointed to the heavens in a show of victory. Chrissie’s bottom lip quivered and she gave him a thumbs up sign too. It may not have been a big thing for anyone else, but for her, it was the highlight of her week.

  She wiped the corners of her eyes as she got in the car and readied her mind for work. It was Friday, the twenty-sixth day of February, and what was supposed to be her last day of teaching Drew. But with all that had happened, she thought it best if someone else took over, and she could write the past few weeks off as a casual fling.

  She arrived at work and told Helena of her preference, leaving out the bit about the casual fling, and mentioned how much Damon would be honoured to take her place in Drew’s yoga studio today.

  ‘You sure you can’t just do the last day? What’s caused your reluctance? He hasn’t been making advances and making you uncomfortable, has he?’ Her eyes narrowed.

  Chrissie decided to answer only one of her questions. ‘I read something in the paper and online about him, and it’s made me feel a bit uncomfortable, that’s all.’

  ‘You mean the media scandal about his ex-girlfriend?’

  ‘You knew about it, before now?’

  ‘I knew before
he even got here.’ Helena tided some papers on her desk.

  ‘Why didn’t you mention it when you asked me to take on the role?’

  ‘Because it’s our job to be professional and discreet. Our V.I.P. guests are the lifeline of this retreat, they add a large sum of profit to the yearly takings.’ She pushed her glasses high on the bridge of her nose. ‘You don’t believe the hype, do you?’

  ‘About him hitting his girlfriend? I don’t know what to believe. She seemed so genuine. Anyway, it’s just unnerved me. I’m sorry to be a hassle.’

  ‘Give me a minute,’ she sighed. ‘I’ll call him and tell him Damon will take over.’

  Chrissie glanced towards Helena’s window where the V.I.P. garden could be seen through the slats in the blinds. He wasn’t out there. She remembered the first day she’d seen him, sitting on the swing seat with his guitar, every bit the Aussie superstar. But now, how things had changed.

  Helena told Drew that Chrissie wouldn’t be available today, then paused. ‘Are you sure?’ she asked him. ‘Damon would be more than happy to teach you today.’ Another pause. ‘Well alright then. Please let me know if there’s anything else we can do for you today.’ She hung up and glanced at Chrissie. ‘He only wants a yoga class if you’re the one teaching it.’

  Crap.

  ‘He said if you’re unavailable he’ll just skip the class.’

  Guilt trip time. Chrissie bet he’d text her any minute, asking why. She should at least let him know, but didn’t know quite how to put it, and knew that if she saw him again, she might change her mind and want to forget the media scandal ever happened, and beg him to leave his awesome life behind and stay with her. But that would be stupid. It was easier to leave things now, before they got out of control. She’d always remember the fun they had, but it would have to remain a memory. She was only just keeping it together now, if she rocked the boat, she may fall apart, and couldn’t risk it.

  ‘Well, I better get ready for my morning class. Again, I’m sorry about all this.’