Sexy and Funny, Hilarious Erotic Romance Bundle

by Mimi Strong

  I stared at his package trying to figure out which part of the bulge was his cock. What would it take to make it grow, to burst out of those too-tight black jeans?

  “I'm Becca,” I said, offering him my hand. Shoot, I should have used a fake name, I thought. But then again, I assumed the next day all this would be overwritten, as though it never happened.

  “I'm Jed,” he said.

  “Jed? Like, your name is ironically a hillbilly name?”

  He shrugged and glanced down shyly. “It's Jason, but I'm in a band, so ...”

  I waved him into my change room, saying, “Can I have a look at that tattoo?”

  He stepped into the change room, crossing the threshold into my space, my lair. Ah, I had him right where I wanted him! I considered shutting the curtain quickly behind him, but I didn't want to give away quite how predatory I was feeling… not yet, anyway.

  I ran my fingers over the tattooed sleeve on one arm.

  He explained, “My first tattoo was really bad, so I got these roses to do a cover-up, and the work was so good, I just kept going. Tattoos can be an addiction.”

  I stared at his skinny, sexy lips and focused on not shoving my tongue in his mouth, but it was hard. He was so earnest about his tattoos. So adorable. The guy was maybe twenty-one, only a few years younger than me, but he seemed like a kid just then.

  “A lot of things are addicting,” I said.

  He looked me up and down, then he ducked his head out of the change room to check that we were alone. The other woman working there was ringing up a purchase for someone, and other than that, the store had emptied out.

  I noticed, with my keen and super-horny eyes, that the bulge in his tight jeans was growing.

  “You're really cute, Jed.”

  He laughed and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes. “You're pretty cute yourself, there, Becca. Rebecca?”

  Instead of answering, I licked my lips and tilted up my chin. I tried to beam a telepathic message into his head: Come on, Jed, take a chance. Live a little.

  He grinned and reached up to close the curtain, blocking out the rest of the world with a thin layer of gray velvet.

  The curtain's metal rings scraped across the rod.

  He moved it slowly, so slowly, and when he reached the end, his arm was just inches from me.

  I grabbed his arm in both hands and kissed him on the crook of the elbow. He moaned and melted into me. I kissed and licked the soft skin there, relishing the sensation of making him as hot as I felt.

  When I looked up at him, his eyes were bright and shining.

  I kept kissing his arm, just his arm, and he squirmed with pleasure. I grabbed his T-shirt from the bottom and lifted it up, over his head. Taking off his shirt filled the small change room with the scent of his musk. He had dark hair in his armpits, but just a tiny natural trail down his chest. He was skinny, but he still had some meat on his ribs, and he looked like a man, not a boy. I kept kissing the tattooed arm and moved up his bicep, then onto his shoulder, where I took a little nibble.

  I moved up to his neck, kissing and licking the soft skin. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. He wasn't much taller than me, so he was the perfect height for kissing, but I wan't ready to kiss him on the mouth just yet.

  I ran my tongue behind his ear and then across his earlobe, where he had the circle gauge. I thrust my tongue through the ring. It felt exactly like what you'd expect, like putting your tongue through a ring, but it was more intimate than that. I had my tongue inside him, going through him. I sucked on the earlobe, and he melted into me even more. This was a guy who liked to be touched.

  He was perfect for me, for that moment, because I wanted to touch him. I kissed his neck and his Adam's apple, then bent down to flick his nipples with my tongue. His nipples weren't pierced, but they were hard and small, like rivets.

  I kissed down his stomach and got onto my knees. The concrete floor was cold under my searing flesh, and I enjoyed the sensation.

  I slowly opened his jeans and pulled them down, his cock springing out free, because he wore no underwear. The dark hair around his balls had been neatly trimmed. I caressed his balls with both hands as I got a good look at his manhood. He was cut, and about average length. His balls had the same delicious musk as his underarms, and I eagerly took him into my mouth.

  At this point, he leaning with his back against one of the walls, facing the mirror on the wall across from him. I glanced up and saw that his eyes were open and he was watching me—watching us—in the mirror.

  I popped him out of my mouth for an instant and turned to see a beautiful, wiry young man and a pink-cheeked young woman in a hot red dress. The image was so pure, so sensual. We were just two people, giving each other pleasure.

  With one hand on the base, stroking, I bobbed my mouth up and down on his cock. He started to tense up, so I stopped, looked up, and said, “Don't come yet. I mean, you can, if you want to, I guess, but I'd love it if you fucked me.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Let's do that.”

  The tight change room had no seat, no furniture at all.

  Jed was already reaching for my dress, unzipping it and slipping it off. He hung it carefully on a hook, and he also kicked off his pointy-toed hipster shoes and slid off his jeans, leaving them rumpled on the floor.

  Now he was nude, and I was wearing only my panties.

  “You're shaking,” he said.

  I looked down at my trembling knees, and willed them to stop.

  I said, “I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited.”

  “Me too.” He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me in to him, and then he kissed me. Damn, but he was a good kisser. His kissing was actually satisfying my craving, and I was starting to think a good makeout session was all I needed after all.

  Then he travelled down my neck and down to my breasts, which he delicately held and suckled. His fingers moved up and down my sides, and then he tugged at my panties coaxing them down. He pulled them to my knees, and they fell.

  He kept kissing me, one armed wrapped around me, as his other hand found its way to my pussy. He nudged his way into my wet folds and rubbed his finger, lengthwise, up and down, along my opening and across my clit. He used a sawing motion, and it was completely novel for me, but in a good way.

  His erection was still strong, the wet tip of his cock occasionally bumping into me. I spread my legs wider, urging him to give me more. More fingers. More sensation.

  As he fingered me, moving in and out of my opening and then sawing and rubbing across my hard nub, I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted his cock in me. I wanted it in my mouth. I wanted him to stop and do the next thing, but I didn't want him to stop.

  Instead, I panted and moaned into his mouth as he kissed me, and I grabbed his hard cock with one hand and stroked it.

  Suddenly, he grabbed me on the hips and swung me around so that I had my ass against the concrete wall.

  He bent his knees, lowering himself, and then his cock was between my legs, burying itself inside me. His legs straightened, and he was inside me, hot and full.

  I realized I was watching all of this in the change room mirror, like watching a sensual movie. My pretty hands moved across his round buttocks, grabbing them and urging him into the girl in the mirror.

  He began to pump, rhythmically, steadily, like a drum beat.

  Thrust, thrust, thrust.

  At the same time, he kissed me, our mouths and bodies merging.

  That cock of his, that hadn't seemed so impressive at first, was perfect and hard, and so good. The tip of it reached to just the right spot, the head of it hitting me perfectly with every thrust. Jed had his hands on my hips, and he was stronger than he looked. With the concrete wall behind me and Jed in front, I felt like I was pinned between two massive beasts.

  The fucking felt so good. I'd never imagined it could feel so good, though I'd always suspected.

  “I'm gonna come,” he said, near my ea
r.

  “Okay.”

  He grunted and thrust again. “Turn around and let me come in your ass.”

  My ass? Like, in the back door? I was so stunned, I didn't know what to say. I'd done a few things, and here I was fucking a perfect stranger in a changing room, but I hadn't done that.

  I said, “Will it hurt?”

  “I'll take it slow,” he said.

  The pumping slowed, but he was still as hard as ever.

  “Okay,” I said.

  He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. “It'll be great. You'll love it.”

  I started to turn around against the concrete wall, but he guided me over to the mirrored wall instead, and put my hands on either side of my reflection. My nipples were bright red, as was my mouth and my intimate area.

  He stood behind me and gently kissed my shoulder blades.

  He slid his cock back into my vagina and pumped me a few times, then withdrew and pressed the tip to my ass.

  Jed kissed my shoulder blades again and made eye contact with me in the mirror. “I want you to see your face,” he said. “Now, all you have to do is relax.”

  He nudged the head of his cock against my ass. It did feel good, with all the nerve endings lighting up back there. I wanted him inside me there. I wanted to feel tight around him, squeezing him.

  “There we go,” he said, and he nudged what felt like just the tip in. He moaned as my muscles reflexively squeezed around his shaft.

  I saw my face in the mirror. I looked surprised! I guess I was surprised that it actually felt so good.

  He grabbed my hips with both hands and moving in and out by tiny degrees, gradually going in all the way.

  I felt his balls touch against my cheeks, so I knew he was all the way in. He buried himself in me.

  He whispered, “How's that? Oh, you feel so good. Oh, you feel incredible.”

  I whispered back, “That is good,” still mindful that we were only a curtain away from other people. I didn't care if they knew I was fucking Jed, but I didn't want anyone to come in and tear us apart. Not before I was finished.

  “So good,” he said, kissing my shoulder blades.

  He started to pump again, getting back into the same rhythm he'd had before.

  Even though my clit was miles away from where he was, I felt the blossoming sensation of an orgasm beginning. I almost couldn't believe it.

  I whispered back, “I think I'm going to come.”

  He quickly moved a hand down in front, onto my clit, to help me along.

  He started pumping me harder, his balls slapping against my ass. I was completely relaxed now, ready to take him.

  “Do it,” I said. “Oh, do it.”

  He was sweating now, his body glistening with effort, his eyes and face so beautiful in his pleasure. We made eye contact, and I saw his face contort as he came, a hot jet filling me with warmth. My eyes squeezed shut and I came like a door slamming, all of me seizing up and releasing.

  He groaned with pleasure as my body shuddered on his cock.

  I kept coming, pulsing with pleasure, for ages and ages.

  I didn't want him to pull out of me. I wanted him to stay there until he was hard and ready to go again, but he eased himself out and reached for his jeans.

  As we got dressed again, me back into the boring clothes I'd worn into the place, he said, “You really should get that dress.”

  “I guess I should. It worked on you.”

  He clinched me in a quick embrace and pecked me on the cheek. “It wasn't the dress, Becca, it was all you.”

  Then he pulled the curtain back a crack, peeked out, and made a hasty retreat.

  I put the dress on its hanger and gave myself a few minutes to fix my hair and wipe the happy sex-grin off my face before strolling out.

  The woman at the counter was tight lipped.

  Jed walked past us, saying, “Back from my smoke break.”

  Then he disappeared into a room behind a door marked Staff Only.

  The woman ringing me up raised an eyebrow at me and said, “Funny. Jed doesn't smoke.”

  “Funny,” I said.

  Part 3: In Which We Finally Meet Mr. Robert Lyle

  Back at my apartment, I had the same conversation on the phone with Deena about what she was going to wear.

  At one point, she said, “This is so weird. I feel like we already had this conversation.”

  We had, but I didn't tell her that. Instead, I said, “Hey, so I hear someone from our high school is going to be there tonight. Someone named Robert Lyle. Is he cute?”

  Sadly, she didn't have any new information, since she'd forgotten all about seeing him. I should have at least gotten a peek at him, since it was my assignment from my fairy mother to seduce the guy, but I'd been a little flustered after boning some stranger in a back room.

  I'd get a good look tonight, and possibly pump him for information. I'd seen the movie Groundhog Day about a zillion times. I had a pretty strong hunch my assignment wasn't going to happen on the second try, but then again, maybe it would.

  Deena and I shared a cab to the art gallery, exactly as we had before. I don't like to drive my car if I'm drinking, and Deena doesn't drive at all. This time, I had a surprise for the rude cab driver who'd kept my change the previous time.

  I had my exact fare ready for him, plus a reasonable tip.

  He eyed me suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

  We stepped into the art gallery, and I remembered to be careful and not bump into the server with the champagne.

  Strangely, though, even though we'd left at the same time and taken the same cab and route, things were different inside the art gallery. The mousy waitress who'd spilled champagne on me the previous time wasn't standing in front of the door. Everything was just a little different, and that disturbed me. Why? Why was it different?

  As I walked in and wove through the crowd, I felt a warmth rise up from my loins, and radiating into my hands. When I looked at my hands, I could have sworn they were glowing. Nobody else seemed to be noticing, though.

  I bumped into someone, and glasses fell to the floor, shattering and spraying champagne. The mousy waitress whimpered and crouched down to grab for the glass, to cut herself all over again. We were in a different part of the gallery, but it was happening again. I put my hand on the woman's shoulder to stop her, and at the same time, the foxy man in the business suit grabbed her arm. A jolt passed through me and the heat from my hands went away from me, into her, and also into him. They both shimmered for an instant.

  I stood back and watched as he calmed her down, and then the two of them got a broom and swept up the floor together, both of them making lusty eye contact with each other. I overheard him offer to take her to another room, to wipe the champagne off her legs, and she agreed.

  Nobody else at the show was aware of this happening.

  A woman laughed, loud, and I wheeled around to see the woman with the three white dogs, wearing the blue dress I'd helped her pick out earlier in the day.

  Then it clicked.

  I'd altered something by changing another guest's choice of dress, and now everything was different.

  Deena was already off, talking to some other people she knew. I stood quietly observing everyone and noticed Mr. Suit disappearing through a doorway with Ms. Mousy.

  My heart beat faster, and I followed them. The urge to follow, to watch, was overpowering. I could think of nothing else.

  Quietly, I crept down the hallway. The room they were in had no door, and I lingered back in the shadows, where I could see them, but they couldn't see me.

  He knelt, at her feet, and dabbed at her legs with the white bar cloth.

  She leaned back and tilted her head up, and in her pleasure, she was breathtaking. No longer mousy at all, she radiated with sexual energy.

  He pushed her legs wider and ran the cloth up the inside of her thighs, and then he dropped the cloth and touched her under her black skirt with both of his hands. As he kiss
ed her on the soft flesh of her knees, I also felt his kiss. It wasn't just my imagination, either. I actually felt it.

  He reached up and massaged her pussy through her panties, and I had to bite my fist to keep from crying out in pleasure.

  I felt it as he pulled down her panties and licked her pussy. I even felt her hands, rubbing through his hair, urging him not to stop.

  He stood, and she slipped her hand into his suit pants, and I felt that hard cock in my own hand. She knelt down to suck it, and I tasted it in my mouth, salty and fleshy, hot.

  He put the tip of his cock into her opening and pushed himself in, and I felt it, that hot, salty cock filling me up. She leaned back against the only furniture in the room, the shelving unit, and he gave it to her, thrusting and grunting with pleasure, his suit pants down around his ankles, his bare bottom peeking out under his suit jacket.

  Her face was radiant, beautiful. She wore no makeup, and yet she was so elegant, her eyes closed, her mouth half-open, panting and letting out sweet little “oh, oh, oh” sounds as he pushed into her.

  As he had with me, he pulled away and turned her around.

  I nearly clapped my hands together with glee. I so wanted him to put it in her ass. I'd had my very first taste of anal sex earlier that day, and I was eager for more.

  Alas, he slipped back into her pussy, though that was still nice. He pumped her this way, getting harder and pumping faster. She leaned forward into the shelves and gripped the back of the shelf for support as he hammered into her.

  Reaching around deftly, he massaged her hot nub until she reached climax, shuddering with more “oh, oh, oh” sounds as she slammed her butt cheeks back against him. He grimaced, pulled out, and gripped his cock in his hand as he fired his creamy load between her legs, arcing down to the floor.

  I felt a double orgasm, from the one she had, and then even the one he had. Because I don't have a cock, I experienced it as this blissful glow, all over my skin, from the tip of my nose to my toes. I'd never had a skin-orgasm before, but I'd heard about it, perhaps at that meditation class, between talks about the yoni and its masculine counterpart, the lingum.