Ice Breakers

by Heather C. Myers

  “How do you even know about that?” I asked.

  “Well, you’re dating one of our rookies,” he said as though it was obvious. “You know how gossip is here.”

  “Wait, Daniel Boone works here?” I dropped in the seat in front of his desk, gripping the edge of the upholstery. These seats were not as comfortable as his chair, but at this moment, I didn’t particularly care. “I mean, I knew he was a cop, but…”

  Beech snorted, shaking his head. His focus was still on the contract, flipping the paper as he continued to read through it. “I thought you were damn good at your job,” he said. “Don’t tell me you agreed to go on a date with a cop without doing some kind of background on him.” He pulled his eyes from the paper and looked up at me, raising a skeptical brow. “You should know better than that, Chalmers.”

  I grunted, rolling my eyes. I grabbed my hair and pulled it over my shoulder, looking down at the split ends that were in desperate need of a trimming.

  “I don’t want to be that, you know?” I glanced over at Beech and found him staring at me. My cheeks pinched in surprise and I hastily looked away, turning to pretend one of his awards hanging from his cubicle had caught my eye. “Looking into someone’s background.”

  “Yeah, but in this day and age…” He let his voice trail off. “Not going to lie, Chalmers. I’m surprised.”

  “Why?” I still didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t know why, but his eyes seemed to know way more than I felt comfortable with. God forbid I revealed my feelings through my facial expressions. It was something I definitely needed to work on – even if I was still confident in my ability to be able to do my job.

  “You’ve been a PI for, what, like three years?” He perked his brow, setting the pen down. He had yet to sign the contract and I couldn’t help but think he was delaying this on purpose. “It amazes me that you aren’t jaded by the job. The people that you’ve met, the perps you deal with, hell, even your clients are assholes. How do you still want to trust people?”

  I paused, waiting for him to make a witty retort or some kind of insult. Instead, he was silent. I felt his eyes on my profile. Instead of meeting them with my own, I focused my attention on pictures he had on his desk even though I had them practically memorized. I didn’t even care if he made a quip about me checking him out. Anything but this curious silence.

  “I think trust is a choice,” I finally said. “I can choose to let the job change who I am, or I can choose not to. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not easy for me to do. And I know a lot of my friends – even the civilian employees here – would probably think I’m stupid since I do have the resources to look into any potential dates, but I don’t want to lose that part of me.”

  “Huh.” He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s stupid.”

  My eyes widened. “You don’t?”

  “Well.” He lifted his hand and tilted it to the left and the right. “Maybe a little stupid. But, uh… good for you.”

  “Did you just sound… genuine?”

  “I’m a pretty genuine guy, Chalmers. What, you think, I’m just a pretty face? There’s a reason I’m very popular with the ladies.”

  “And yet, you’re perpetually single.”

  “That is a choice.”

  “Yes, and the ladies seem to make good choices by staying away from you.”

  “They don’t stay away,” he corrected. “I wine and dine them, make polite conversation, throw in a couple of compliments, and then take them back to their place –“

  “Never yours, right?” I arched my right brow.

  “Never,” he agreed, shaking his head. “And from there –“

  “I think I get it,” I said, making a face.

  “I’m not sure.” He frowned. “I can always describe my technique if you want. I’m sure you’d be very interested in how I bring all of these women to their knees, make them beg for more.”

  “And I’m sure you give it to them.”

  “Oh, yes. But only for a night.”

  “How unfortunate for them.” I hoped he could tell by my face that I was being sarcastic.

  “I’m saving myself for you, Chalmers.” He winked.

  I hated the way my heart fluttered in my chest. Not because of his words because I knew they were bullshit. That was one of Beech’s many talents – how much bullshit he could pull because he had a pretty face. He was charming too, and that certainly helped him. But the wink did me over because he was so ridiculously attractive that there were rare occasions where even I wasn’t impervious to him.

  I immediately looked away again, hoping he couldn’t tell I actually liked his stupid charm wink. The last thing I wanted to do was stroke his ridiculously large ego. He could stroke it himself, and I was positive he did.

  “That’s too bad,” I said. “I’m saving myself for Daniel Boone.” I stood up, ready to get out of here and collect my bonus. I also intended to take a quick shower and then get ready for my date. I might be a little late, but after I explained what a day I already had, I was sure he would understand. He was a cop, after all.

  Beech scowled at me and opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

  “Have you signed that yet?” I asked. “I have a hot date tonight that I don’t want to be late for.”

  He flared his nostrils and grabbed a pen. Before I could make another smartass retort, my phone rang.

  “Is that Boone? Spoiler alert: he’s a stage five clinger.”

  I rolled my eyes and pulled out my phone, prepared to answer. I only faltered when I saw the name flash across my screen.

  Eric Foresburg.

  The professional hockey player.

  One of the best centers in the league.

  My ex.

  What was he calling me for?

  Chapter 3

  “Hello?” I didn’t bother excusing myself from the conversation I was having with Beech because I wasn’t terribly interested in resuming it. He had signed the paperwork which meant I would be able to collect my fee – and a big, fat bonus – from my client. I didn’t need anything else from him.

  Anyway, I was already distracted by the fact that Eric Foresburg was calling me.

  My heart swelled at the name, but I tampered it down when I answered. I didn’t want to think about everything that had happened between us. It had been so long ago anyway. I didn’t even know why I kept his number saved into my phone.

  “Hey.” His voice was soft-spoken, low. I suppressed a shudder and closed my eyes, taking a silent breath, hoping he couldn’t detect how much of an affect he still had on me.

  Someone cleared their throat and I suddenly remembered that I was still adjacent to Beech’s desk and he was watching me with narrowed eyes having a conversation with Eric. I sneered at him and swiped the paperwork from the surface of his desk. The last thing I wanted was Beech listening in on a conversation I wasn’t sure I even wanted to have.

  “Hey.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. I already said hello; I didn’t need to do it again unless I wanted to make myself look like an idiot. I stepped out of the bullpen and headed to the stairs, playing with the green lanyard around my neck.

  “How are you?”

  I paused. I reached the first floor and nearly bumped into Sergeant Isaac, the traffic sergeant. He grinned at me but saw I was on the phone, so he didn’t say anything else. I leaned against the wall of chiefs – the hallway was filled with pictures of each police chief IPD had since the inauguration of the city and its police station – and tried to figure out what the hell Eric was doing. Why he was calling me in the first place.

  “Eric.” I stopped. I didn’t want to attack him. I didn’t want to make any assumptions. That would open up a can of worms I thought we had buried back in the past. But it was difficult not to jump in and start asking my questions.

  “Are you busy?” He sighed. “I know this seems… out of the blue. Can we meet? Now? I wouldn’t call unless it was important.”

  Before I
could respond, the deputy chief stepped out of her executive secretary’s office. Immediately, I ducked into the small corridor where the elevator was and pressed my back against the wall, shielding my body from her view. The DC wasn’t my biggest fan. She thought PI’s inhibited investigations rather than assisted with them, which meant she hated me with a passion and didn’t care that I had a badge that allowed me access almost anywhere in the station.

  “…finally get the front desk some glass,” she said. I wasn’t sure who she was speaking with but I waited until I heard their voices fade down the short hallway to the break room before I stepped out of the corridor and back into the hallway.

  “Hello?”

  I shook my head. “Yeah. Um.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, my body pushing the exit door and opening it so I could get out of the station. “Sure. Where do you want me to meet you?”

  “Can you come by my place?”

  “No.”

  I stepped past the automatic doors and into the surprisingly bitter air. It had been sunny with a cloudless sky a few hours ago when I was chasing down my target. Now, it was cool, the atmosphere pinching my skin as if it wanted me to wake up.

  “Okay.” A beat. “Do you have a preference? I just… I don’t want to be somewhere public.”

  I heaved a sigh. I had a feeling this was going to be a private conversation.

  “I’ll just swing by your place,” I said, resigned. I turned towards the parking lot and glanced to my left and then to my right. When I was satisfied there weren’t cars coming, I stepped into the street and headed for my car. “I should be there in ten, fifteen minutes.”

  “Thanks, Meeks,” he murmured. “I mean it.”

  I hung up before I could respond and steeled myself for an uncomfortable conversation with my ex.

  ---

  When I pulled up to his place on the Newport peninsula, I ignored the heavy sinking of my heart. This was supposed to be our place. I picked out furniture. I organized the furniture in the master bedroom. I had my fingerprints on this place.

  And then he broke up with me.

  “Who cares, Chalmers?” I muttered to myself, shaking my head. “It was a couple of years ago.”

  Logically, I knew this, and yet, I couldn’t help but feel the pain I had buried from long ago start to claw its way back to my surface. I breathed it out. I didn’t have time for nostalgia, for what could have been. I took a step towards the door, and then another, until I found myself knocking.

  Eric answered almost immediately. He gave me a warm smile. I blinked when I saw it, my cheeks turning red. I had to look away. It was too much for me to take in right now.

  “Come in.” There was a stiffness to his voice, something that gave away that he was just as uncomfortable as I was. At least I had that much.

  “Uh, thanks.” I stepped around him, making sure to keep my distance. I couldn’t let myself accidentally touch him, whether there was a barrier of clothing between us or not. I was already trying to keep it together and that was difficult for me to do when all I wanted was to fall apart now that he had made contact. I knew this was a possibility. He did play for my dad’s team. I just didn’t think I’d be at his place because he wanted to speak to me privately.

  Stepping into this home was akin to stepping into a memory I desperately wanted to forget but couldn’t. There was the couch Alex and I broke in our first night in this place together. He kept the black and white curtains I picked out at WalMart. Hanging on the white walls were pictures of his favorite DC superheroes in black and white frames I picked out at IKEA. I didn’t recognize the television, but I did recognize the glass coffee table and the books scattered across it. I reached out to pick one up and then remembered I didn’t live here, not anymore, and these things didn’t belong to me.

  I cleared my throat and turned. Alex was looking at me, his gaze scrutinizing me in a way that didn’t make me feel entirely comfortable. Like he could read my thoughts, like he could see into my mind and watch the memories that assaulted me in a way I didn’t expect.

  My chest ached. I couldn’t breathe properly because it pinched, as though someone was stepping on my chest and pinning me in place.

  I shouldn’t have come.

  I thought I was over Eric – I was over him. But that didn’t mean I was comfortable being here, in a home we shared at one point together. It might have been for a short amount of time. Maybe it hadn’t meant all that much to Alex, but for that time, it was my whole world. The feelings I felt for Alex consumed me and I was utterly devastated when we broke up.

  “So?” I winced. Did I just screech? I crossed my arms over my chest tightly, turning away from him. First Beech and now Alex. Was I seriously unable to look at any guy without embarrassing myself? I cleared my throat. When I trusted my voice, I took a breath. “What did you need, Alex? Are you okay?”

  “No.”

  The word was soft. In fact, I thought I imagined it. I whirled around to look at him, more surprised than concerned about him reading the emotions on my face. However, the penetrating gaze Alex shot me told me he did speak, that it wasn’t in my head.

  “Okay.” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Well, do you want to talk about it?”

  He sighed and hung his head. I knew something was troubling him for him to actually show just how affected he was by whatever burden was occupying his shoulders. Alex rarely revealed any sort of emotion in the first place, especially to me. It was one of the issues we had as a couple. This Alex was someone I didn’t know but was open to learning more about. Perhaps he was even someone I would be open to helping.

  “Not really.”

  Scratch that.

  I wasn’t in the mood for his bullshit games. I scoffed, my annoyance with him removing any overtly emotive feelings I experienced upon first stepping into the house. It was so easy to forget why we were apart and so easy to remember why we were together.

  “Why am I here, Eric?” I hadn’t meant to sound firm. Whatever he was going through was clearly bothering him. But I had my own plans and my own day. I didn’t want to wait around for him to decide whether or not he wanted to confide in me. He was the one who requested I come here. He was the one asking for my help. If he couldn’t trust me with why he needed help, how could he expect me to even be able to help him in the first place?

  He heaved a sigh and all but collapsed on his couch. His shoulders hung forward, elbows resting on his knees, head hanging forward. I never saw him look so helpless before. I wasn’t sure what to do. I wasn’t sure how to respond.

  “Tomorrow, a woman by the name of Yvonne Wexler will announce that she spent the night with me against her will.” He still wouldn’t look at me. He still didn’t pick up his head.

  I furrowed my brow and gave myself a moment to let his words sink in. I must have misheard him. “Do you mean someone is going to accuse you of raping them, Eric?” I asked. I nearly choked on the word rape. It felt out of place in this conversation, in relation to Eric.

  “Yes.” His voice broke and tears accumulated in my eyes. I blinked them away. The last thing Eric needed was me to get too emotional. He asked me to be here to help him, not turn into a child who just found out Santa wasn’t real.

  “Well?” I demanded, hands on my hips. “Did you?”

  His head snapped up, blue eyes offended, raw, and hurt all at the same time. I had to look away again. I didn’t like the way he looked at me. Whether he liked it or not, I had to ask the question. I had to hear him say it.

  “Of course not,” he said. “I’m surprised you would even ask.”

  “I have to,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “What do you need me for? If you have a good lawyer –“

  “If she accuses me, my reputation goes to shit,” Eric pointed out. “I can prove my innocence, but in the court of public opinion? People will look at me and treat me like I am a rapist even though I’m not.”

  “So I’m going to –“

  “I need
you to help me prove my innocence,” Eric said. “So I can stop her before she’s able to announce anything and show her that she’s wrong and filing any sort of report or even saying I’m a rapist is a crime. She wanted to settle out of court, but I -” A beat. “Please, Meeks. I don’t know who else to turn to. You can help me.”

  “No.” I wasn’t expecting to vocalize the word out loud, but I did. “I can’t help you, Eric. I have other cases and –“

  “Mika, please.”

  “Did you sleep with her?”

  He stopped, surprised by my question. I shouldn’t care, but I did. I still did. And I hated myself for it.

  “Did you sleep with her?” I repeated. “I’m not asking if you raped her. I’m asking if the sex between you was consensual. I’m asking if you slept with her in the first place.”

  “Yes.” He looked away.

  My heart had no right to break but it did. I thought I had moved on from him. I thought I was filled with steel when it came to Eric and his love life.

  But I was weak. I was pathetic.

  “I can’t help you, Eric,” I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”

  Before he could argue with me, before he could try and talk me into it, I all but ran out his house. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me cry

  So, like a coward, I ran away from him. And I didn’t look back.

  Chapter 4

  I wasn’t going to on another date with the guy from last night. The entire time, my mind was on Eric, on what he was facing, on what was going to happen to him once news broke – and news would eventually break. Eric was a popular professional hockey player. There was someone, waiting to burst his bubble, waiting to watch him fall from grace. My date was cute and seemed sweet, but I couldn’t force myself to pretend to make idle chitchat when my mind was reeling with what to do next.