Santa Bring Me a Ryan

by Rene Penn

  “Is that why you left her outside by herself? Were you mad because she didn’t want you?” Bryan teased.

  Ryan gave a sideways glance. "I've got my share of pride, but give me some credit. Look, do us both a favor. Next time, just tell me when you like a girl.”

  “You’re right. I should’ve called it,” Bryan admitted.

  “So, uh, have you talked to Jules?”

  “I didn’t use words, but I’m pretty sure she knows how I feel about her.”

  Bryan thought of the kisses they exchanged. He tried to claim her with the last one. He'd have to correct that sometime soon. He'd let his mixed-up emotions get the best of him. He could think of a few ways to make it up to her.

  Ryan chuckled at Bryan's faraway look. "Maybe you should talk to her to make sure you're on the same page."

  “I will. Later.” Bryan stood and walked over to the window. The weather still flirted with danger. “It hasn’t gotten much better out. I should probably hang here a little while.”

  Bryan had plenty of time to tell Jules how he felt. But he only had a few more hours left with his brother before flying out the next morning. With the air clear between them, he hated the idea of getting on a plane and leaving his brother behind. He'd have to visit more often, maybe stay with Ryan, instead of at the cabin with their folks.

  Ryan stood up and went to the fridge. He came back with two beers and a bottle opener. “We good now, bro?” He cracked open the bottles and handed one to Bryan.

  Bryan clinked the beer against Ryan’s. “Always.” They sipped from their beer. "So nothing happened when you two left the cabin together on Christmas?"

  "Nope."

  Now that he and Ryan were back in a good place, maybe he could get to the bottom of the mystery turkey. “Where’d you guys get that turkey anyway?”

  Ryan raised the beer to his mouth and mumbled, “Not for me to tell.”

  Sixteen

  It was a tearjerker for Jules, watching the Blakely family say a long goodbye to Bryan. They gave him enough hugs to satisfy a small village. She thought of her mom and dad again, and how much she missed them.

  She got hugs from the Blakelys. It seemed genuine, but they never extended an invitation back to the cabin. She wasn’t surprised.

  Something else surprised her, though. After her intense kisses with Bryan the night before, he’d left for Ryan’s house in a huff and didn’t come back until the morning. She didn’t see him until breakfast, and he acted as if nothing had transpired between them. The guy was unreadable. Completely hard to crack.

  Was it her? It must’ve been. She’d been cursed with holiday man repellent. Hell, she was holiday man repellent. If a guy locked in a cabin with her on Christmas could lose interest, things were hopeless.

  She and Bryan wheeled their suitcases through the garage. Bryan groaned as he lifted her luggage into the Jeep. They piled in, and Paul drove them to the airport. Kathy stayed behind. If she'd liked Jules more, would she have ridden with them? Jules pondered it during the car ride.

  When they reached the airport, Paul helped Bryan set the luggage on the curb. Paul gave them another hug and asked Bryan, “You sure the plane’s on time?”

  "Last time I checked, it was."

  Paul waved goodbye and hopped into the car. As she and Bryan walked inside the small airport, the Jeep drove off.

  Sadness and closure washed over her. “I know your parents don’t like me much, but I think they’re awesome.”

  “We should talk about that. But let’s get checked in and go to the gate first.”

  They walked the short distance to the ticketing area and spoke with the friendly agent. She tapped away on the keyboard and frowned at them. “Looks like your flight has a delay.”

  Jules groaned. Bryan, too. “How long?” he asked.

  The agent glanced at the computer screen. “Not sure."

  “We’ll wait at the gate,” Bryan said.

  She put tags on their luggage, and they wheeled their bags over to the security area. A couple of guys threw their bags onto conveyor belts, and the luggage disappeared. Jules and Bryan snaked through the short line for security—only one person stood in front of them—and a voice yelled Bryan’s name.

  Kaitlyn.

  Blonde, perky Kaitlyn.

  What the hell is she doing here?

  “Kaitlyn?” Bryan asked, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

  At least Jules wasn’t the only one wondering.

  Kaitlyn had a look in her eyes, fixed, steady, determined. It reminded Jules of something, those birds she saw on the National Geographic channel, the ones who mate for life. One bird will leave its family to find food—sometimes flying hundreds of miles away, gone for days. And when the bird returned home, it waddled through throngs of birds to find its family. That’s how Kaitlyn looked right now, like the bird who’d been away and finally found its mate.

  “Bryan, oh, my God.” Kaitlyn squawked from behind the security line. “I’m so glad I found you before you went to the gate.”

  Bryan’s face went from surprise to worry. “What’s wrong?” Jules squirmed at the transformation.

  Kaitlyn’s gaze changed, too, from relief to exasperation. Tears burst onto the woman’s perfect pink cheeks. “Please don’t go. Please.”

  “Excuse me?” said Jules.

  Kaitlyn clawed at the black rope of the security line while Jules wanted to claw at her face. “Bryan, can I speak to you?”

  "Hang on, Jules," Bryan said to her. Damn the deserted airport. With no one else behind them, it was easy for him to slip out of line to Kaitlyn's side.

  She put her hands on his chest like Jules wasn’t even there, like no one else watched them. Her shaking fingers clamored at the lapels of his coat. “I should’ve come with you years ago.” She hiccupped as she spoke. “It’s not too late. Let me come with you now. We can start over.”

  Jules' fingers gripped the strap of her carry-on bag like she'd grown eagles' talons. Hackles raised on her skin.

  Bryan turned to Jules. “Go on through. I’ll meet you at the gate.”

  Jules' hackles raised to pinpoints. “Bryan.”

  “Bryan, please,” Kaitlyn whimpered. Her hands trembled on his chest, fumbling with his lapels. She snapped Bryan’s attention back to her like a trained animal. Would she start pruning him next? If she did, Jules was going to—

  “Jules.” Bryan said again, “I’ll be right behind you. Call me if the plane gets here, okay?”

  Jules’ lip quivered until Kaitlyn shot her look. That look said so many things: Go away. He was never yours. Back off.

  To keep from hissing and turning the Missoula Airport into a National Geographic wildlife scene, Jules turned on her heels and handed her ID and boarding pass to the agent. He glanced at her then at Bryan and Kaitlyn, drew a few lines on the paper, handed her items back, and said, "Good luck."

  Jules’ heart sank as Bryan walked with Kaitlyn toward the airport exit.

  ◆◆◆

  Kaitlyn had left her car in a hurry because she parked at the curb, flashers on. She unlocked the door, and Bryan ducked inside from the cold. Even though she sat feet away in the driver's seat, and didn’t have a hold of his coat anymore, he could still feel her fingers on his collar. He was still processing what she’d said.

  “I made a mistake years ago.” She pulled a tissue out of her purse and dabbed at her face. “I shouldn’t have let you go. I should’ve followed you.”

  He inhaled slowly. “I talked to Ryan. He told me why you asked me to stay, that it was him, not you.”

  She burst into tears again. “I didn’t know how to tell you. You were so upset with me. I didn’t think you’d leave. And I didn’t want you and Ryan to fight.” She reached over to him again.

  Before she could claw at his coat again, he pushed her hands back. Her eyes widened.

  “I wish you told me,” he said. “But that was a long time ago, Kaitlyn.”

  “Not that long ago.
Only a few years. You can’t just wipe away what we had in a few years. I still think about you all the time, kicking myself for letting you go. But I can fix it.” Her eyes glistened, sparkling with excitement. “That’s why I came. There are seats left on your flights to Denver and Dulles.”

  A plane descending roared overhead. Bryan glanced out the window and tapped his phone buried in his pocket. Yes, he remembered that he’d turned the ringer on. He’d hear Jules’ call.

  Kaitlyn’s gaze skipped from his hand up to his eyes. “Did you hear what I said?”

  He tried not to frown. “I did. But things have changed. I think about you, too—”

  “I knew it,” she beamed, trying to put her hands up to his arm.

  He delicately moved it. “No, not like before,” he clarified.

  “But,” she wiped away tears. “I understand that we may not be able to pick up right where we left off.”

  His jaw tightened. “No, we can’t.”

  "You're right. I can't expect that. But we don’t have to start at the beginning, either.” When he frowned, she pressed on. “Or maybe we can. A new beginning. A better one, with a better ending. Marriage. Kids.” She smiled at him, her wet cheeks glistening.

  He shook his head. “No, Kaitlyn. Don’t get the wrong idea.”

  A flash of anger darkened her eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “What we had was special. I’m not refuting that.”

  “Then don’t. Let me get on the plane with you.”

  At the last minute? How much would that cost? Did she have a bag packed? What about her family? Her friends? Her job? Her responsibilities? Had she thought this through? Had she thought about how it would impact him?

  She stretched a hand toward him, and he pulled away. "You can't come to DC," he said firmly.

  “Why?” she bit back.

  “Jules.”

  Kaitlyn blinked. “Your coworker?” she growled.

  “She’s not my coworker anymore. I have feelings for her.”

  Kaitlyn searched his face, her eyes bouncing wildly. “That’s okay,” she muttered. “I know what you and I had together. We can overcome any feelings you have for—”

  “I’m falling for her.”

  ◆◆◆

  Bryan must’ve heard the plane or seen it overhead, Jules thought. He’d told her to call—but how awkward. His ex-girlfriend wanted to come back to DC with him. He’d shared years and years of history with her. Hadn't they grown up together?

  Meanwhile, Jules and Bryan had known each other on a boss-employee basis for a fraction of the time. Things had only escalated within the last week. How could their recent—uh, dynamic shift—compete with what he and Kaitlyn had?

  Dynamic shift. How ridiculous. That's how undefined things were between her and Bryan.

  Jules stood at the gate, in the row for boarding group two. Pre-boarding had already been called, and group one filed onto the plane next. It didn't take long, with a small aircraft.

  “Group two can board,” the gate attendant announced.

  Jules glanced back from where she came, hoping to see Bryan’s tall frame walk down the hall. She let the other people from group two go ahead of her.

  Finally, the gate attendant said, "Miss, are you ready?"

  “I’m waiting for someone.”

  The woman announced group three and so on as Jules tapped her foot against the carpet. When she was the only one left, she handed her boarding pass to the gate attendant.

  “Still waiting?” the woman asked.

  Jules nodded.

  “Another passenger?”

  “Yes.”

  “We’re closing the doors soon.”

  Jules hovered nearby as the woman called Bryan’s name over the loudspeaker.

  I can call. I should call.

  She took out her phone and hovered a finger over Bryan’s name on the screen. What if he didn't answer? What if this, him not getting on the plane with Jules, was his answer? Kaitlyn had wanted to come back to DC with him. Maybe Bryan decided to stay here instead. Jules could see how it pained him to leave. Perhaps he'd made up his mind to resume his life back in Missoula. He could be holding hands with Kaitlyn, halfway back to the Blakely cabin by now. Or to her house.

  Jules bit her lip and walked down the short jet bridge. No, she didn’t need to call him. His absence was her answer.

  Seventeen

  Jules stood in front of an arrival and departure board at Denver Airport. Because of the delay in leaving Missoula, she’d missed her connecting flight home. She sighed, tired already from her fraying emotions over Bryan. And now she had to deal with getting her plane ticket changed.

  She walked over to an agent and waited her turn in line. “Hi, I missed my connection to Dulles.”

  The agent took Jules' ticket. "Let me see if I can get you on the next flight out." He clicked away on the keyboard. He frowned, his mustache dipping low in the corners. "The next flight is full. I can't get you out of here till tomorrow."

  Jules tipped her head back. Unbelievable.

  Then an idea came to mind. “What about Bradley Airport in Connecticut?”

  Her father had cried about spending Christmas alone. She could imagine how happy he’d be if she surprised him in person.

  “Let me see.” The agent muttered, “There’ll be a fee associated with this change.”

  “It’s okay.”

  She'd pay the money. She couldn't put a price on the mistake she'd made of going to Missoula. What had she been thinking? Holidays and men never were a good mix for her. Why would Bryan have been any different?

  Who knew how long he’d been waiting for Kaitlyn to fall at his feet? Days? Years? What man could say no to her? To their history? To trying again? Jules didn’t blame Bryan for leaving. She wished he’d been man enough to call her about it, though.

  The agent said, “There’s inclement weather in Connecticut. A lot of flights heading in and out of there are canceled. There’s a weather system moving throughout the north. It started in…”

  Jules didn’t need a weather update right now. She just needed this guy to put her on a plane. Jules needed to move forward, not remain idle. Staying idle would send her mind into overdrive, threatening her like an ominous rain cloud.

  "What about Savannah, Georgia?" she asked.

  Surprising her mom would be great, too. She needed Debra right now, to soothe her ego, to tell her how beautiful and smart she was, and to assure her that she’d have a true holiday love someday. She also needed sunshine, Southern hospitality, and high-calorie comfort food.

  The agent glanced up from his computer screen. “I can get you to Savannah, but you’d have to connect in Charlotte.”

  “Let’s do it. Thanks.”

  ◆◆◆

  Jules smiled when her mother’s home came into view and smiled harder at the illuminated porch light. This three-bedroom house with its quaint lot size and yard never looked so beautiful, even if Jules could hardly see it in the night sky.

  She hopped out of the taxi, wheeled her heavy luggage to her mom’s front door, and knocked. It took a couple of minutes before she heard a rustle from inside.

  “Jules?” Debra must’ve seen her through the peephole.

  A second later, the door flew open. Debra gasped, covered her mouth, shot rainbows of surprise from her gray eyes, embraced Jules in a long hug, and kissed her cheeks. Jules had missed those bright gray eyes, her mother’s reddish-blonde pixie cut, and her citrus-rose perfume.

  Releasing their hug, Debra clutched Jules’ shoulders. “Are you okay? Did something happen in Montana?”

  “Montana was fine. I’m fine.” That was one way to put it. “But I’m better now that I’m here. I should’ve been here all along.”

  Debra gently led her inside and closed the door. "If anyone asked me to guess who'd be at my door at nine o'clock at night, I would've said Jehovah's witnesses before I guessed my daughter."

  Jules swallowed back the guilt. She sat on
the cream leather couch while Debra poured two glasses of wine. Then Jules told her mom about her Dumb Thing. Debra listened attentively and remained nonjudgmental, her face softening as Jules explained her warped, ridiculous logic.

  She filled her mother in on her trip to Montana, admitted how she talked her way into an invitation, disclosing that Bryan hadn’t been her boyfriend all. She shared her growing feelings for him and described her failed attempts to impress his parents.

  And she talked about Kaitlyn, her eyes brewing with tears as she spoke.

  "Pumpkin, you left him at the airport? And you haven't spoken to him since?" Debra exhaled as Jules nodded. "If you don't know exactly what happened, you're just guessing." She reached over and pushed a loose piece of hair behind Jules' ear. "That's what you did with your father and me. You realize that, right? What did you call it? Your ‘dumb thing’?” She smiled softly. “You made yourself crazy with assumptions and guesswork with me and your dad—and now, with Bryan. If you asked us how we felt and talked about it, it could’ve shed light on things.”

  Her mother was right. Debra made it sound so simple, but Jules’ heart crackled with angst over Bryan. “What if I told him how I felt, and he said, ‘Thanks but no thanks’?” She couldn’t handle that—especially not this year, with her parents’ divorce fresh on her mind, and her growing distrust in true love.

  Debra rested against the back of the couch. "In a way, your father and I had that conversation about keeping our marriage going."

  "And you said thanks, but no thanks."

  Debra inhaled and briefly closed her eyes. “Yes.”

  Jules debated telling her mother about her father’s tears over the phone. But she’d promised to keep the heartfelt moment between them. “Do you regret it?” Jules asked.

  Debra met her gaze. "No, I don't. I'm happier now. I made the right decision. Frank and I stopped guessing what the other was thinking and how the other felt. We talked, instead. The turnout was painful, but it was growth for us. Maybe you and Bryan need to talk, too, so you can grow together or move on separately. What's meant to be will be."