Mine to Hold

by Shayla Black

Page 16

 

  “Is that what you think?” Tyler approached, eyes narrowing. He ripped off the cap, then his T-shirt. He flung it to the floor.

  Del swallowed hard. Dear God, she’d forgotten how overpoweringly masculine Tyler was. But now that he was half naked, that fact was front and center, evident in every bulge of his shoulders, every ripple of his abs, the veins running down his arms. Hard pectorals. Lean waist. Jeans hanging low on his lean hips . . .

  He snapped, and she raised her stare back to his face, but Del was equally dazzled there, especially by the heat in his eyes. “Let’s get one thing straight: You could never be a substitute for Alyssa. It was the other way around. ”

  Chapter Seven

  WHAT the hell was he thinking? Open mouth, insert ass. He’d blurted something so . . . true. Fuck. He’d been burying everything he felt for Del for two years. In an instant, she’d swept into his house and made him realize how damn much he cared about her. Still wanted her.

  But Tyler sensed that, after everything that had passed between them—and whatever damage Eric’s abandonment had caused—men, and him especially, weren’t high on Del’s to-do list.

  But he wasn’t letting her go easily or without a fight.

  “Look, let’s just . . . ” Del sputtered, then looked away. “I’d like to call about Seth. I won’t be able to sleep until I hear he’s okay. ”

  Everything inside Tyler wanted to argue. Or better yet, get her supine, get on top of her, and prove his point. But she was exhausted and scared. Now wasn’t the best time.

  “We can do that. ” He reached for his phone.

  “Who has him tonight?”

  Tyler tried not to wince. “Alyssa. ”

  Before Del could comment, he punched the speed dial and jammed the phone to his ear. Alyssa answered right away.

  “Your son is as mischievous as you are. ”

  He couldn’t help but smile as he turned the phone on speaker so Del could hear. “Yeah, well . . . ”

  “He’s a bundle of energy and climbs everything. I’m not used to that with Chloe. ” Alyssa sounded somewhere between amused and exasperated. “But he’s so sweet. He must get that from Del. ”

  Del looked choked up, and Tyler wrapped an arm around her waist and whispered, “See, he’s fine. ”

  She nodded and leaned into the phone. “Hi, Alyssa. Thank you for taking care of Seth. ”

  “The kids are having fun. Chloe has loved having a playmate, even if she’s not sure what to do with plush trucks and toy airplanes. ” She laughed, the sound light and elegant.

  “Seth is a climber, and if you have anything chocolate, he’ll find it. ”

  “Good to know. Luc keeps so many things in the kitchen. He’s bound to have good chocolate here. I’ll hide it. Can he have a little tomorrow?”

  “If he eats his vegetables and tries a bite of everything on his plate. ”

  After the women talked about Seth’s naps and bedtime, Del pulled away from him. “Thanks again for everything. ”

  Tyler watched with a frown as she disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door. He heard it lock, then the shower turned on. He sat on the edge of the thin mattress and shook his head.

  “You still there?” Alyssa asked.

  Turning the phone off speaker mode, he tucked it back against his ear. “Yeah. ”

  “You okay?”

  Del wanted nothing to do with him, and it hurt like fuck. “Sure. ”

  Alyssa snorted. “Liar. What about Delaney?”

  “She’s in the shower. ”

  “How is she holding up?”

  “Exhausted and afraid. I’m doing everything I can to keep her safe and calm. ”

  “I know you are. ” His former boss paused. “You want to tell me what’s going on between you two?”

  “Long story. ”

  “That ends with you finding out fifteen months too late that you have a son. You had no clue?”

  “None. She’s a friend’s wife. Well, ex-wife now—and ex-friend. I know that raises a million questions, just . . . not tonight. ”

  Alyssa sighed. “How do you feel about her?”

  Wasn’t that a fucking ironic question? Now Alyssa wanted to know how he felt. It was just as well she’d never taken him seriously. Maybe she’d always seen through him and known he was trying to substitute her for Del. But why? They really weren’t alike, except their backbone and determination to see something through.

  His silence went on too long, and Alyssa broke it. “You’re in love with her. ”

  What the hell did he know about love? “I wondered for a while if I was in love with you, and you see how that worked out. ”

  “No, dumb ass. I get it now. You latched onto me because I was unavailable. The more I said no, the harder you pursued. I thought maybe you liked the challenge. But you were trying to forget her. ”

  Tyler closed his eyes. That sounded so painfully close to the truth. Great time to realize that his hard-on for Alyssa hadn’t been about her at all. He’d buried all his hurt and yearning under lust. After all, Alyssa and all the girls at Sexy Sirens looked damn fine in corsets, thongs, and garter belts. But no matter how many Krystals, Jessis, Candys, or Aspens he fucked, he’d felt nothing but desire.

  Not like the night he’d given every bit of his body and passion to Del. He’d been searching for that high again—for her—in every other girl. He’d come up empty.

  Wasn’t that a bitch?

  The tangle of crap between them was deep and wide. They shared a son, and that mattered, but it didn’t guarantee that Del was going to care about him beyond being her baby daddy.

  “You going to marry her?” Alyssa asked.

  The question blindsided him. The thought of marrying Del, of having her in his bed every night . . . His dick stood up, totally approving the idea. His heart beat faster. But he doubted she was in a rush to get married again. Besides, he knew exactly zero about being a good husband or father. His own had packed up and walked out when he was six. His mother had always said that he had no business getting married because he’d be just as restless and irresponsible. The way he’d moved from bed to bed since puberty, Tyler had believed her.

  But Del was different. Not just sexy, though she absolutely was in a way that flipped every switch in his body. She wasn’t just smart, but funny, tenacious, loyal. Perfect. If he were going to find one partner for life, he couldn’t do better.

  He probably wasn’t going to get that chance. Even if she was willing to try forever, what if he wasn’t cut out for a picket fence? How badly would he hurt her if he couldn’t deal and left? She’d already been burned by Eric. Tyler couldn’t risk doing that to her again. He refused to cause her pain.

  But the idea of just being an occasional father to Seth and even less to Del set off all kinds of fury bombs inside him. And if he left her to raise Seth alone, didn’t that make him the same kind of shithead as his own father?

  “You’re thinking way too hard. ” Alyssa sighed.

  “Because I don’t know how the hell to answer you. ”

  “Do you want to marry her?”

  “I don’t know. How do you know when you’re ready to marry someone? How do you know it’s right?”

  “You have to trust that, no matter what, you’re going to be there for one other,” she said softly. “So decide quickly if you can be her rock. If not, that girl is going to walk out of your life again and never look back. ”

  ***

  THREE a. m. , and he was wide awake. After learning about Seth, missing a good night’s sleep, then driving the better part of eighteen hours, he should have been fucking exhausted. But no. His brain raced. Anxiety clawed up his spine. He hoped he and his buddies had been clever enough to elude Carlson’s network until they could cruise into L. A. and put that motherfucker down.

  And Alyssa’s words kept turning themselves over in his head.

  In the next bed, Del slept restlessly, her
bare legs sliding against the sheets. Staring into the dark at her, Tyler could only think about two things: some career criminal being after her, and the fact that, even if the danger ended today, he wasn’t prepared to let her go again. Both trains of thought made him ache to hold her. Protect her. Feel her safe and warm and luscious against him.

  He probably should leave her alone, simply watch over her from his bed. But no one had ever accused him of being a gentleman. And he needed to start expressing now exactly how he wanted things between them.

  Slowly, Tyler tossed back his covers and slid off the bed. Del thrashed in the middle of her bed, as if she’d gotten used to sleeping alone in the last two years. He smiled at that thought. Then it faded. What he was about to do might piss her off, but . . . she had all her defenses up, and until he found a way to get under them so she could at least consider how good they might be together, he had no shot with Del. They’d once been friends. Things had been good between them. Now, he needed to have her in whatever way he could, even if he simply held her.

  He needed to start staking his claim.

  Besides, as scared as she was trying not to be and as much as she worried about Seth, he’d bet she needed someone to hold her.

  He lifted her sheet and slid underneath. Her body heat reached into him. Her personal scent, like sunlit cotton and springtime, comforted him. Tyler spooned her back to his chest, and closed his eyes, breathing her in. Holding her again took him back to the night Seth had been conceived, the hint of summer looming in the air, the sultry look of Del’s flushed cheeks and wide eyes as she orgasmed. The regret on her face when she’d said she was sorry—the last words she’d spoken to him for two long years.

  Her body relaxing, Del sighed, melting into him in sleep. He found his face in the crook of her neck and his palm on her stomach, thinly clad in a little black tank. She felt both familiar and brand-new. That night, he hadn’t really been able to explore her. Did she like having her nipples pinched during sex? What did her pussy taste like when she came? How much would she blow his mind if he fucked her right now?

  Three simple questions, and he turned hard as stone. He probably shouldn’t . . . but Tyler couldn’t stop his hips from pressing forward, into that sweet, slender ass.

  Did she like being spanked? Would she enjoy anal sex?

  A groan rumbled from his chest. Jesus, he had to stop this now, ease her into the idea of being with him so they could explore what might be between them, not to rattle her so much that she ran screaming.

  Had Del missed him at all? Have any idea how many times he’d been in bed with a woman and wondered why they never felt as good as her?

  Fuck. He needed to touch Del.

  Tyler gripped her tighter and arched into her again, this time brushing his lips down her neck. Pleasure cut through him in a wide arc. In his arms, she shivered. Wriggled. Her breast was right under his fingers . . .

  Damn, he was going to hell for this.

  He inched his palm up just a fraction and . . . yeah, right there. He closed his eyes. Even through the thin cotton, Del’s breast fit his hand perfectly, a bit heavier than he remembered. So damn lush.

  Despite the heat of his palm, her nipple tightened. She shifted, her ass generating mind-blowing friction as she rubbed against his dick in her sleep. Del made his entire body throb, sent fire ripping through his veins. Shit, he might have to jack off in the bathroom to keep from attacking her in the next thirty seconds. Hell, he might even have to jack off twice.

  Crap, he needed to slow down. Earlier, Del had emerged from the bathroom after her shower with tight, red-rimmed eyes. She’d refused to let him comfort her. He needed to show her—and himself—that he could be her rock. He couldn’t accomplish that by feeling her up.

  But she felt so fucking good, and he’d never wanted someone so damn bad. Just one touch . . .

  Slowly, he slid his hand from the soft weight of her breast, down, down, until it slipped under the loose elastic of those shorts. His fingertips brushed over the flat of her belly, then—oh, holy shit. Her pussy. No, her bare pussy.

  Tyler cupped his fingers around her flesh, parting her folds with one finger. Yeah, there was her clit, soft and slightly damp. He wanted his tongue there, lapping at her, making her fist the sheets and cry out his name. He pushed his cock into her ass again, knowing that if he didn’t pull away, he’d wake her up and piss her off.

  He’d rather get her off instead. She’d been so stressed and worried, she needed release.

  Del shifted, backing up to him. Smiling at her unconscious gesture, Tyler grabbed her top leg and eased it over his thighs, spreading her open. Instantly, two of his fingers slid against her clit, gently stirring. It turned hard. Moisture seeped, coating his fingers.

  It was a matter of time before Del woke. She was going to hand him his ass when she did. But he intended to enjoy this time with her . . . and help her realize that she enjoyed it, too. And make her feel good. He couldn’t assure her a safe future right now, but he could give her a moment of pleasure.