Racing Dirty

by J. Lynn Lombard

  Chapter 32

  Izzy

  I watch as Mia pushes Xavier and Christian out the door. She is so right when she says we would miss the race. My heart is empty without Xavier next to me. His body heat penetrating my skin, his scent invading my sense, makes me weak in the knees. I love that man more than I’ve loved anything or anyone in my life. I miss him when he isn’t next to me, holding me, loving me. Mia clicks her fingers in front of my face, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  “Izabella.” She snaps.

  Mia turns her head to Ashley, her short, multi-colored hair standing up all over the place.

  “See what I mean,” Mia points out to Ashley.

  “Izzy, you were gone there for a minute. You had a dreamy look on your face. Were you thinking about Xavier?" Ashley asks.

  “Yeah, I was.” My face turns red from being caught day dreaming.

  “I see. Do you mind explaining everything to me? Last time I talked to you, you were heart broken. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this. You’re really happy and I want details from the beginning.” Ashley demands.

  I walk over to Xavier’s Keurig machine and start a cup of coffee. Turning around, I lean against the counter. “Do you want the short version or the long one?" I ask.

  Ashley shakes her head, her blonde hair in a messy bun. “Girl I want all the details.”

  I grab my coffee, add some sugar and motion to the living room. We all sit down. I’m on the couch, Ashley right next to me and Mia’s in the chair. I take a sip of my coffee before telling her everything, except all the intimate moments we shared. That is for Xavier and me, no one else. When I finish our story, Ashley has tears in her eyes.

  “You mean to tell me, this whole time you were miserable in L.A., he was just as miserable here?" Ashley asks.

  “Yeah, it was a big misunderstanding and we lost all those years together because of our stubbornness. Now he has a crazy psycho bitch after him and I have someone trying to sabotage me, like they did my dad.”

  I grow quiet thinking about my dad. I wish he would wake up soon. There is so much I need from him. I wipe away a tear with my left hand and Ashley’s eyes grow wide.

  “Oh, holy shit." She screams. I look at her in confusion. “You seem to have left a very important detail out.” Ashley says shocked. I give her a questioning look.

  “You’re hand Izz.” Mia says, wiggling her fingers. Realization dawns on me.

  “Oops, I did.” I respond. I look at the ring on my left hand, memories of him asking me floods my mind and a smile creeps onto my lips thinking about it. “Xavier asked me to marry him yesterday.” I tell Ashley. She squeals and pulls me into a tight hug.

  “Holy shit. This is real, isn’t it. You’re not coming back to L.A., are you?" She asks, sadness in her voice.

  “No, I’m not. I’m going to stay here with Xavier and spend the rest of my life doing what my heart’s been wanting. Racing and loving him like he loves me.” I answer.

  My phone starts ringing loudly from upstairs. I jump up from the couch and run up to Xavier’s room. When I finally reach it, it stops ringing. I recognize the number from the hospital. My phone chimes in my hand, telling me I have a voicemail. I sit on the bed, dial my voicemail with shaky hands and listen to the message. It’s one of the nurses looking after my dad, asking me to call her back as soon as I can. I take a deep breath and dial the number. Just before I hit send, Xavier comes bursting in the room, a look of panic across his face. His blue eyes land on mine.

  “My dad just called, we have to get to the hospital now.” He tells me urgently.

  I jump up from the bed and follow Xavier down the stairs. I put my shoes on and Nolan throws Xavier the keys to his car, since mine is still at my house and his is smashed.

  Fifteen minutes, four red lights, speeding over ninety miles an hour and six stop signs we blew through later, we pull into the parking lot of the hospital. Normally a half hour drive, we cut in half. Christian, Mia, Nolan and Ashley are right behind us.

  Xavier parks Nolan’s car haphazardly in a parking spot and we get out quickly. He takes my hand, trying to calm me down as we make our way quickly through the parking lot. His dad didn’t tell him anything else, except that we needed to get here as quick as possible.

  My mind is working overtime, coming up with the worst case scenarios. We make it to the elevator and Xavier hits the up button. He keeps hitting it over and over trying to hurry it up, fear of what we are going to walk into is evident on his face. I rest my hand on his, making him stop.

  “X, I’m scared.” I confess.

  Xavier stops punching the elevator button and glances down at me. There’s a look of uncertainty that flickers over his face, but he masks it just as quickly. He puts his arms around me and kisses me on the head. The action is soothing to me, even if it’s just for a minute.

  “So am I, B.”

  The doors whoosh open and we step inside. The others haven’t made it in yet, so it’s just us in the elevator. I watch us in the mirror of the elevator as Xavier holds me tighter and I try to fight off tears and be strong.

  “I got you B.” he whispers in my ear. I turn in his arms and look up at him.

  “I know and thank you.” Resting the palm of my hand on his strong jaw. He swallows hard as he meets my eyes. He leans in and kisses me gently on the lips. The elevator dings and the doors open. Ana and James are waiting on the other side as we make our way out. Ana has tears in her eyes and my heart sinks. James put a hand on Xavier’s shoulder and nods his head. An unspoken word passes between them and they let us go by.

  The smell of antiseptic and bleach makes my knees grow weak and I slow down, memories assault me again of being here when I was little girl. Xavier slows down with me.

  “B, it’s going to be OK. I’m right here.” His voice is reassuring, his arms are still around my shoulders. I steal my nerves, my heart is beating out of chest, my ears are ringing, and we start walking again.

  I can hear the familiar beeping of monitors as we approach my dad’s room. His door is open, but the curtain’s around his bed are closed, hiding him from me. I slowly make my way into his room, just as a nurse comes out from behind the curtain, making me jump. She slaps a hand over her heart.

  “Oh goodness, you scared me.” she says.

  She has on pink scrubs and her brown hair’s pulled up in a tight bun. She’s holding a clipboard against her chest. She gives me a small smile.

  “Is he OK?" I ask quietly, afraid of what she is going to say.

  I hear a gruff voice from behind the curtain and my heart soars. The nurse pulls the curtain back a little and a pair of familiar green eyes find mine.

  “I’m fine.” my dad croaks out. His voice is raw and scratchy from the tube being in his throat for so long. Relief fills me at the sound of my dad’s voice.

  “Thank God." I exclaim, as I cross the room and give him a big hug. “You scared me there for a bit.” Tears are running down my face.

  “Hey kiddo, I’m not going anywhere. According to the doc, I just needed to rest for a few weeks. That guy is a dick.” he says.

  I laugh as my dad’s arms tighten around me. He’s still weak from being in a coma so it isn’t as strong as it should be.

  “I felt the same way.” I tell him. I pull back from my dad and Xavier shifts behind me, drawing my dad’s eyes to him.

  “Xavier.” he says weakly. Xavier crosses the room to stand behind me. He puts his hands on my shoulders and gives them a gentle squeeze. I don’t need to look at him to know how happy he is, his hands on me tells me all I need to know.

  “Austin, you don’t need to say anything. Save your voice.” Xavier says. Austin nods his head and lays back down.

  “Thank you for saving my life.” Austin says, exhaustion crosses his face, ignoring Xavier. Panic sets in when he closes his eyes.

  “Dad?” I whisper.

  He squeezes my hand gently. “I’m good baby girl, just tired." The nurse approaches
me.

  “Miss Jones, your dad will be fine. He just needs to get his energy back and gets tired very easily. Nothing to worry about.” She tells me in a gentle voice.

  “How can you be so sure? He’s been in a coma for the last three weeks, how do you know he won’t slip back into one?" I ask, fear lacing my voice.

  “Because Austin is a fighter. He won’t give up. I’ll keep a close eye on him personally for you and if anything changes I will call you immediately. He needs his rest now though.” the nurse says. A look of admiration crosses her features as she looks at my dad. He squeezes my hand and cracks an eye open.

  “Baby girl, I’m not going anywhere. I just need to rest. I’m happy you two found each other again." He closes his eyes before continuing. “Nurse Maggie is taking diligent care of me. Give them hell tonight and no matter what happens, I’m proud of you.” I watch as he starts to drift off to sleep, the beeping of the monitors and our steady breathing are the only noises in the room.

  I lean in and kiss my dad on the cheek. “I love you dad and I’ll make you proud." He turns his head towards me without opening his eyes.

  “Love you too, baby girl. You always make me proud, just like your mom." My dad quickly falls asleep, his breathing deep and even, the monitors are beeping steadily.

  I wipe away the tears falling down my face and stand up from the bed. Xavier puts his arm around my shoulders and hugs me close to him. I stop and turn around, wanting to look at my dad one last time before we leave. Nurse Maggie is standing next to him, checking his vitals and his IV. She gives me a knowing smile, the tenderness in her eyes is a huge relief.

  “I promise I’ll take loving care of him. If you’ll wait in the waiting room, the Doctor will be in shortly to talk to you.”

  I nod my head, still worried he won’t wake up again. We walk down the long corridor toward the waiting room. My shoes squeak on the linoleum. We approach the door and see everyone in there.

  Before we enter, Xavier pulls me against him and holds me tight, his strong arms around my waist. My rock, my anchor.

  “This is a good day.” he says quietly. I nod my head and look him in the eyes.

  “X, thank you for everything. For being here for me, for loving me.” I whisper the last part. He caresses my cheek.

  “I’ll always be here for you and will always love you, Tu Semper In Corde Meo." You will always have my heart.

  My breathing picks up as I’m lost into his blue eyes, my heart beating rapidly. Every time I stare into his eyes, he makes my heart skip a beat. He leans down and kisses me with so much passion, I can’t think straight. His tongue invades my mouth, leaving me breathless. I get as close to him as I can, want and desire flows through my body.

  “You will always have my heart too.” I tell him when we break the kiss. He rests his forehead against mine, his strong hands holding me tight to him.

  “Let’s go and tell everyone what’s going on.” he whispers.

  I give him one last kiss before we go into the waiting room. Mia and Christian are sitting next to each other in the standard waiting room chairs that look like they’re comfortable, but really aren’t. Nolan is next to Christian and Ashley is next to Mia. Nolan has a scowl on his face, Ashley and Mia are trying not to laugh at something.

  I steal a glance at Xavier and he shrugs his shoulders. His hand tightens in mine, giving me strength. I clear my throat and all eyes swing in our direction. Concern replaces Nolan’s scowl when he sees us. His brown eyes are begging for good news. I know he looks up to my dad, always has since we were teenagers. Mia’s spine stiffens as Christian puts his arm around her, comforting her. Ashley is tense, just waiting for me to speak. I take a deep breath before talking.

  “He’s going to be OK. He’s awake.” I say as tears begin to fall. Mia jumps up from her chair, Ashley right behind her. They both hug me tight and the tension in the room disappears, replaced by happiness. Nolan comes up and hugs us all at the same time.

  “Thank god.” Nolan’s deep voice rumbles through my body.

  “He needs to rest now, but I did get to talk to him.” I say, pulling away from everyone. There isn’t a dry eye in the room. James and Ana enter the room quietly, standing off to the side.

  “I’m so relieved.” James says, causing me to jump. Ana nods her head and hugs me, her warm embrace is like a caress to my soul. Her motherly love is something I’ve missed when I was away.

  “Honey, it will be OK.” she says gently. I pull back from her hug and nod my head.

  “I know and thank you.” I say looking at the two of them. “Thank you for being here for him, for us."

  “You’re welcome darling." James answers.

  He looks at Xavier, then Christian and finally Nolan. “Can I speak to you three outside?" Xavier puts his arms around me.

  “I’ll meet you outside.” Xavier tells me. I kiss him and let him go.

  “OK,” I respond. I watch as they all walk out the door, wondering what they need to talk about. I’ll ask Xavier later. Ana wraps her arms around me again.

  “I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you what was going on. The doctor wouldn’t let us in Austin’s room when we got here. They made us wait in here until the nurse came in, told us to call you. That’s all they would say,” Ana says. I give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

  “Thank you, Ana.” I tell her.

  She gives me a warm smile as she tucks her black hair behind her ears. “There is no need to thank me honey. James and I are here for you and Austin, we always were, and we always will be.”

  “I know, and I feel like I need to thank you for that. For being here for him when I couldn’t be.”

  Tears threaten to fall again, and my throat is thick from my emotions. I try to fight them off, but Ana hugs me again and I lose it.

  “Shh.” she says running her hands up and down my back. “It’s Ok honey, let it all out. You’re a tough woman, but sometimes we need to lose it now and then. It’s what makes us stronger." After a few minutes, I finally compose myself and wipe away my tears.

  “Ana.” I croak. I clear my throat to speak again. “Ana, I love Xavier. I’ve never stopped loving him. I hope you are OK with us being back together. I know I broke his heart when I left, and I understand if you’re mad at me, but I’m not planning on going anywhere again." I take a deep breath and try to explain my feelings. “This opened my eyes to realize life is short, we need each other, and I don’t feel complete when he isn’t around. I was miserable in L.A., I was lost, and I was missing him like crazy. Every sight, every sound, every touch, reminded me of him."

  “I know, and he was the same way. I don’t think I’ve seen him smile and mean it in five years. Yes, he would joke around with Nolan, but there was always something missing.” Ana hesitates for a minute. “Sometimes Xavier would get a look in his eyes and he would be lost for a few minutes. He constantly stayed in his garage. He shut himself off from everyone, only made an appearance at the track. I was really worried about him, but then you blew back into his life and his eyes have that sparkle back. I don’t know what happened between the two of you and I don’t want to pry. I just want you to know that I’m happy if he is. He’s my son and I love him with my whole heart. When he is hurting, so am I. If he is happy, so am I. Just promise me you will talk to him if you start to question his love for you."

  “I will, I promise.” I mean it too.

  The doctor comes into the waiting room. “Miss Jones?" He asks.

  “Right here." My body is still from his presence.

  He looks over his chart not making eye contact with me. “I’m expecting your father to make a full recovery. We did a cat scan on his head when he woke up and everything is normal." His monotone voice is grating on my nerves. Before I can say anything, he continues. “His injuries are healing and as long as he stays on track with physical therapy, he should be going home in a few weeks." The doctor finally looks up from his chart but avoids eye contact with me. That really pisses me off.<
br />
  “Is there a problem Doctor?" I’m really pissed. He finally looks at me and I don’t miss the annoyance on his face.

  “No, I’m doing my job.” he replies.

  “Well, your people skills suck ass.” I’m beyond furious.

  Dr. Smith breaths out through his nose, irritation in his voice. “It’s not my job to have people skills. It’s my job to take care of the sick. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have other patients to attend to." With that he walks out the door, leaving me speechless. I’m so pissed right now, I can’t think straight. Ana rests her hand on my arm.

  “I’ll take care of him.” Ana says gently.

  “I told you he was a dick. I want to punch him in the balls.” I seethe.

  Mia is trying to hide her giggle at my outburst but fails miserably. That giggle snaps me out of my rage and my shoulder’s slump forward in defeat.

  “I’ll take care of it honey.” Ana reassures me, yet again. She looks at her watch. “Shit. You better get going if you want to make the race. It’s getting late. James and I are going to stay here with Austin, watch over him for you."

  “You swore.” I state, my eyes are wide, bugging out of my head. Ana never swears in front of anyone. She gives me a smile.

  “Living with James and Xavier, it’s hard not to. I try to keep it minimal, but sometimes it just slips out.” Ana says shrugs her shoulders, “Now, get going." She pushes us out of the waiting room and into the hallway.

  “I’ll send James up when we get down there.” I tell Ana over my shoulder.

  “Thanks.” she says. There’s something in her voice that makes me stop walking and turn around. She walks over to me, hesitation in her familiar green eyes. “Izzy.” Ana rests her hands on my shoulders. “I just, want you to know, I love you like the daughter I never had and I’m glad you’re back. Good luck tonight and stay safe."

  “Thank you, Ana, and I love you too.” I give her a hug.

  Mia, Ashley, and I leave the hospital and walk to the parking lot. My heart is lighter and the worry for my dad I’ve been dealing with melts away. Ana’s words ring in my head the whole way down. She loves me like a mom loves her child. I’m on top of the world and can take on anyone and everything standing in my way. Years later, I feel complete. My heart is finally whole again.