Take a Breath (Take 1)

by Jaimie Roberts

  I jerk my head towards Jake who looks worried. “It’s nothing. I’m fine. I didn’t realise I was in my own little world.” I smile trying to comfort him and we finish the rest of the meal. I down my juice in one go feeling the effects of a dry mouth after all that alcohol, and Jake quickly gets up to refill my glass. “Matthew, you want some more juice?” He finishes off his glass and puts it on the table.

  “No thanks Dad. If you don’t mind I’ve got an essay I need to finish off in my room?” Matthew collects his plate and glass and heads over to the dishwasher to load it in.

  “Of course not Matthew, let me know if you need any help.”

  He smiles heading out whilst I gather the other plates and make my way to the dishwasher.

  Jake walks over to the inside of his jacket pocket and pulls out a wrapped long box.

  “Ana, sit. I bought this for you. I saw it in the shop window and it had your name on it so had to get it. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Jake places the box on the table and sits down expectantly. I feel overwhelmed. He’s bought me a present for no reason. Does there have to be a reason? I sit and trace the neatly placed bow on top of the wrapping with my finger, feeling sorry that this will all be messed up shortly. I unwrap the gift seeing Jake’s expectant eyes upon me. When I finally open it up I gasp. Before me is a beautiful silver diamond encrusted Cartier watch. It must have cost him a fortune. I place my hand over my mouth and try to pull back the tears that are threatening to overtake me at any moment.

  “Do you like it? Ana, please say something.”

  He takes the watch for me and places it around my wrist. “Jake it’s the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me, but I can’t accept this, it’s too much.” He shakes his head, “No can do, I’m not taking it back. It’s yours, I want you to have it. Please don’t argue with me about this, and you have to promise me you’ll wear it all the time.”

  He looks stern like he’s ready for a fight but I just swing my arms around him. “Thank you Jake, it’s the most amazing gift anyone has ever given to me. I love it and I promise I’ll never want to take it off.”

  He squeezes me into him and sighs, “My pleasure Ana; it looks beautiful on you.”

  Chapter 21

  The rest of the evening went on in eternal bliss from the beautiful present that Jake bought me. It was not so much the gift itself that made me giddy, it was the thought behind him getting the gift and what it represented. We went to bed like the evening before wrapped up in each other’s arms sleeping soundly and peacefully again until the annoyance of the alarm came beeping through the room. I moaned, “Let me guess, is it 6am by any chance?” Jake presses himself into me and I immediately feel his hardness. “I take that as a yes. How can you immediately be ready like this the second the alarm goes off?” He nuzzles his head into my neck and gently nibbles my shoulder.

  “I guess it has something to do with the goddess of sex I have the pleasure of waking up to every morning. But if you don’t want me to make love to you this morning, then we’ll just cuddle.”

  I grab his hand and move it down towards my forever wet pussy. “Does that feel like I would say no to you?” Jake hums in my ear.

  “Always so ready for me.”

  Just like yesterday morning we made love careful not to make too much noise for Matthew’s sake and then got showered and dressed. Today I decided to wear a fitted grey dress and peep toe high heels which Jake disapproved of and told me to take off. “Jake come on, it’s just a dress.”

  He shakes his head, “I know but you look so fucking hot, I just want to rip it off you and take you on the bed right this minute. I don’t want to have all the guys at work looking at you thinking exactly the same thing.”

  I shuffle over to the door and open it, “Please Jake, you’re being ridiculous now. Oh hey Matthew, I didn’t see you there.” I immediately turn a bright shade of pink as Matthew smiles at me.

  “My dad is being ridiculous? Who would have thought? Nice dress Ana.”

  I nod my approval and turn to Jake, “Well, thank you Matthew.”

  “I take it Dad doesn’t like it?” Jake crosses his arms in distaste.

  “I’m not having my own son ganging up on me now.”

  I try to quickly change the subject. “You’re up bright and early this morning Matthew.” He scratches his head.

  “Yep, I just want to get this essay handed in to English and I must admit I’m a little excited about this game tonight.”

  I walked over to him and gave him a hug. “I’m sure you’ll definitely kick some ass tonight and we’ll be there cheering you on.” I give his head a little scuff and he jabs me in the waist making me yelp. He knows I’m very ticklish.

  “Right, that’s enough downstairs for breakfast before we leave Ana.”

  I salute him and Matthew starts laughing.

  We all run downstairs to have some toast and orange juice to start our day and we say goodbye to Matthew. Jake quickly runs outside to speak with Joe, who was sitting in the squad car. He then swiftly returns to the garage so we can leave. “Is he ok out there?” I ask.

  “Yes, he’s fine. Nothing happened during the night and he’ll be off in a minute, so he can home.”

  I run back in the kitchen and told Jake I’d be back in a little moment. I quickly grab a blueberry muffin and a little carton of juice from the fridge. Jake see’s what I’m doing, so lets me rush past him as I head out to see Joe. “How you doing Joe? I feel bad for you sitting out here all the time. Here I got you a little something to eat and drink. I know it’s not much but it’s something at least.” Joe who is in his 40’s bald and a little overweight, gladly accepted the muffin and juice.

  “It’s no problem Ana. Just doing my job.”

  I pat him on the shoulder, saying my goodbyes and Jake and I head off.

  “That was nice of you to do that Ana. You didn’t have to.”

  I shrugged, “I feel bad for him sitting out there all night watching the house.” We wave to Joe as we pull out, and he is happily sitting there chomping away at his muffin.

  “It is his job Ana; he gets paid for sitting outside our house all night. It was still a nice gesture anyway.”

  I smile deliriously at Jake.

  “You want me don’t you?” I snap my head up.

  “Go on admit it; you want me right now in this car. You can tell me you know, I can take it? You have that gooey look in your eyes.”

  I slap Jake on the shoulder, “Get over yourself already Jake.” I smile widely at him as what he says is true, although I would never fully admit that to him of course.

  We get to work a little early and Agent Marcos along with some of the other FBI agents are already there and getting to work. Jake squeezes my arm and disappears into his office with Marcos in tow. I sit down at my desk and boot my computer up. Jessie is not in as yet, but it’s not long before she comes bouncing in, locks jumping up and down whilst she strolls.

  “Hey Ana, you ok? Was Jake gentle with you last night? I take it you two made up?”

  She has a mischievous smile on her face and I couldn’t help but match it. “Yes thank you we did make up and everything is fine now.”

  “I couldn’t believe Jake last night. I’ve never seen him so angry. I mean, I know he can be intimidating at times but boy he really shocked the hell outta me.” I nodded in agreement, “Welcome to my world.”

  Her eyes bulged, “He’s like this all the time with you?”

  Did she really not realise? “Yes Jessie, all the time.” She looks up noticing that there is something different.

  “What’s with all the Feds around here?”

  I told her about what happened and why they were there. She looked shocked.

  “You don’t really think it’s one of our guys do you?”

  I shake my head in protest, “No of course not but they believe it must be someone I know, so this is just a process of elimination. Nothing to worry about.” Jessie nods her head in u
nderstanding. “So when are we seeing Jerry again?” She beams, she looks so happy.

  “Tonight. He is taking me to a restaurant he knows in Richmond. In fact I want to speak with Jake so I can ask for a day off tomorrow. He wants to book us into a hotel so we don’t have to come back until the morning.”

  I look over to Jake’s door. “He has an agent in there with him at the moment. I’m sure he will be finished soon. He’s been in there a while.” With that said the door swings open and Agent Marcos’ head pops out of the door and looks in my direction.

  “Ana, can you come into the office for a moment please?”

  I dutifully get up and look at Jessie and I shrug my shoulders at her questioning eyes.

  Inside the office Jake is sitting at his desk and motions for me to sit opposite. Agent Marcos then sits in the seat next to me and glances my way.

  “As you know from my visit last night we are going through individuals this morning one by one, and we are taking their DNA. We have most of the people here at the party which we will go through first. The only one not here is a Tony Andrews.”

  He looks at his notebook and then flips it back. “He wasn’t well yesterday.” I turn to Jake.

  “I’ve already told Agent Marcos that Tony won’t be in today as he is off sick. I have told him about what’s happening here so he knows. He will try and be in tomorrow so he can do his part and give a sample.”

  I nod and Jake smiles at me. “Is that everything?” I look to Agent Marcos and he nods. “I guess I better get back to work then.” I pick myself up and head for the door. I swing round remembering to ask, “Oh Jake, Jessie wants to see you about taking tomorrow off.”

  He nods, “Ok fine, just tell her to submit a leave form and I’ll sign it. She can have it off.”

  I smile, happy knowing Jessie will be pleased and head back to my desk.

  I tap Jessie on the shoulder and she swings round. “Guess who’s got tomorrow off?”

  Jessie beams, “Seriously?”

  I nod, “you just have to submit a leave form and he’ll sign it for you.” She stands up and gives me a big hug excited about the news.

  “Thanks Ana, this is great. I guess having a best friend who is giving it to the boss man every night helps me out a great deal.”

  She winks at me and I nudge her.

  “So tell me, what did Jake and that agent want in there anyway?”

  I pull my hair back behind me and before I’m able to speak Jessie gasps, “Where did you get that?”

  I notice she’s pointing to my wrist and I smile. “Jake gave it to me yesterday.” Her face looks like it’s dropped to the floor.

  “Shit Ana, do you realise how much a watch like that costs? It’s Cartier; they’re worth about $2,500. Did you know that?”

  Now it was my turn to be stunned. I had no idea. I thought maybe a few hundred dollars but not that much.

  “Ana, you realise what this means don’t you? A man does not buy a woman a watch like that if he wasn’t serious about them. He loves you baby. Looks like you’ve found your one.”

  I’m still stunned by what Jessie’s just said.

  “Ana, you bitch I hate you. Jerry and I are nowhere near where you and Jake are at the moment. This is like, would you like to marry me stuff.”

  I quickly find my voice, “Jessie, no. We haven’t even discussed ‘us’ yet. I don’t even know if you can really call us an ‘us.’ He doesn’t say anything and I don’t want to ever spoil the moments we have together.”

  Jessie shakes her head, “Sounds to me like you both feel the same way, but are both afraid to admit it to one another. You and I both saw the way he reacted at the bar last night. It’s like crazy love, he lives and breathes you love. Can’t you see it?”

  “Jessie, I don’t know. I just don’t want to spoil it. I’m happy as we are and I don’t want to ruin any time we spend together by using a few choice words.” Jessie looked exasperated.

  “Girl, I love you but you can be so pigheaded at times. I don’t know whether to hug you or smack you about the head. And don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true.”

  I close my mouth shut and speak no further. I don’t want to argue with her.

  “Anyway change the subject, what did the agent want?”

  I told her that he basically repeated what he said last night and it’s then that I notice Michael being called into the room for testing. “Oh Jessie, I feel so bad about this. It’s all my fault this is happening.” Jessie grabs my hand.

  “You can’t think like that Ana. If everyone here is innocent, they won’t mind and if they do mind, then they are obviously hiding something.”

  I squeeze her hand back, “Oh Jessie, what would I do without you?” She flicks her hair away from her face.

  “I really don’t know to be honest.”

  She gives me a cheeky grin, which I return, and we get back to doing some work.

  I try my hardest to concentrate on what’s in front of me, but it’s so hard knowing every time someone’s name is called, they probably secretly hate me deep down for being the one to cause all this trouble. Of course everyone must know by now, although no one is saying anything. They have to be given some sort of explanation for why they’re doing this and people around here are not stupid. I try so hard to bury myself in work and block out what is going on around me. When it gets close to lunch a hand flies in front of my face. I look up and find Michael standing there. I look at him and frown.

  “Come with me for a coffee please.”

  I take his hand but I feel nervous. Does he want to shout at me? We get into the small kitchen room where Michael grabs me a mug and pours a coffee for me. I wait for the barrage of words to come flying from his mouth, but he seems calm.

  “Ana, are you ok? You don’t look yourself. I thought I had better take you from your desk for five minutes just to get you away from it all a bit.”

  He hands me the coffee and I thank him. “It does seem a bit overwhelming to be honest. I feel like this is all my fault and that everyone will hate me for it. I don’t know. I just feel bad that’s all.” Michael comes toward me and offers me a hug, which I accept.

  “Ana, no one hates you ok. Everyone is just so keen to nail the son of a bitch, that if it takes us all having a strand of hair plucked from our heads, then so be it. You can’t feel bad about this ok?”

  I nod my head on his shoulder, trying to wipe the tear that has escaped and ran down my cheek.

  “Am I interrupting something?”

  Michael and I both jump and I look to see Jake standing in the doorway. He sees my upset and anger quickly fades to worry.

  “What’s the matter Ana, has someone said something?”

  He gives Michael and evil look and comes rushing over to give me a hug.

  “Ana’s just upset that’s all. She thinks that people will hate her, because she is the cause to what is happening around here today. I just tried to tell her that we all want the same thing and that’s to catch the sick asshole, so she can never be hated for that. Sir.”

  Jake nods and Michael quickly moves out the coffee room.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you felt like this?

  Jake cups my face and the tears begin to fall. “I don’t know, I just want it all to go away Jake. I want to shut my eyes and know that when I open them, that it’s all been a bad dream and I can carry on with my life knowing that everyone around me is safe, and that I’m not hated for bringing this sick individual out from under the hole he’s crawled out of, because of me Jake. Not anyone else. Me. He wants me and I just feel so bad. It’s just so wrong, all of it wrong.” Jake squeezes my head lightly.

  “Shh, Ana, please don’t do this to yourself. You’re not a bad person do you hear me? I won’t let you run yourself down like this and be the victim. It is not your fault. None of this is your fault. Ana, look at me. He decided to do this. He is the sick fucker. He made his choices. Not you.”

  He stares deep into my eyes
as the tears flow and I bury my head in his chest. A couple of people come by and excuse themselves when they see Jake and I interlocked in an embrace, and me with my tear stained face. Jake grabs my arms and pulls me out.

  “Look maybe you being here today isn’t such a good idea. I’m not going to leave you, I said I never would until he is caught. I’ll take you home now. I can get away. The Feds have it all under control here.”

  I shake my head in protest, “No Jake, please not because of me I can stay, it’s ok.”

  He stands firm, “No Ana, it’s not ok. I’m taking you home.”

  I nod my head and excuse myself so I can go to the ladies and freshen up, so it doesn’t look too obvious I’ve been crying. I go back to my desk to pack up getting sympathetic stares. This is just what I didn’t want.

  Whilst back at my desk, I grab my bag and proceed shutting down the computer.

  “What’s up girl?”

  I sit down in front of Jessie as she turns to face me. “Jake’s taking me home. I just don’t feel right being here when all this is going on around me, because of me. I’ll feel better tomorrow. I just need to get away and clear my head.” I place my hand on her shoulder, “I hope you have a great time tonight. Say hi to Jerry for me. I can’t wait to eventually meet him.” She smiles brightly at me and squeezes my hand.

  “I’ll look forward to that.”

  Jake comes over and hands Jessie a piece of paper.

  “There you go Jessie. Have a good day off tomorrow and I’ll see you Thursday.”

  She thanks Jake and we say our goodbyes before heading off.

  The sun outside is piercingly hot now and I can’t wait to get in the car just to escape the heat. We make the journey home mainly in silence as exhaustion is finally setting in. I plonk myself down on the sofa as Jake heads for the kitchen. A few moments later he emerges with a ham and tomato sandwich on rye and hands it to me.

  “Ana, you have to eat please. I’m worried about you.”

  I smile and bite into the sandwich, more to appease Jake than because I’m actually hungry. I just want to sleep. Sensing my exhaustion Jake picks me up and carries me up the stairs to his room, and lays me on the bed. He takes my shoes off and then his before he snuggles up behind me for a cuddle. We don’t say anything. We don’t have to. Just having him there with me is all I need now. I sigh aloud and close my eyes. It’s not long before I’m sound asleep.