Got Fight?
Page 19
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CORRECT
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THE EYE GOUGE (FOR THE STREET ONLY)
Eye gouging should not be done with an open hand. In addition to telling everyone watching that you’re a cheater, you also risk breaking your fingers. The proper approach is to extend your thumb slightly beyond a closed fist and punch your opponent in the center of his face. In addition to causing damage with your strike, your fist will usually slide off the bridge of your opponent’s nose and allow your thumb to dig deep into his eye socket. Once you have him blinded, you immediately want to follow up with the Good Ol’ Knee to the Nut Sac technique demonstrated earlier. (If you utilize this technique in the cage, you’re not only a cheater, you’re also a dirty piece of shit who deserves to die. When fighting for sport, never fuck with a man’s eyes. That shit ends careers and will garner you an ample amount of haters, including me, for the rest of your life.)
THE HOCKEY BEAT-DOWN
The Hockey Beat-down is basically the street version of the dirty-boxing clinch. Instead of hooking one hand around the back of your opponent’s head, you latch onto the collar of his shirt or jacket. The trick to being effective with the technique is using your grip to constantly keep your opponent off balance. You want to push into him, throw a couple of strikes, pull him into you, throw a couple of strikes, circle and pull him with you, throw a couple of strikes. You get the point. What you don’t want to do is grab your opponent’s collar and then just stand there trying to punch him. With one of your hands tied up with your grip, he will be able to land some pretty solid blows to your face.
1
I latch onto Neil’s right collar, drive his shoulder back to disrupt his balance, and throw a right cross at his face.
2
Keeping Neil off balance by pulling him forward, I land a right uppercut to his jaw.
3
I circle to my right and pull Neil with me, further disrupting his base and balance. I use the opportunity to draw my right hand back.
4
I land a savage right to Neil’s left ear.
NO, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP
This is an excellent technique to utilize when in a heated argument with your landlord or boss. By pointing a finger at your aggressor’s face, you’re pretty much assuring that he will point his finger back at you. The instant he does, latch onto that sucker and break it in half. It is important to note, however, that if you are in a serious fight, breaking your opponent’s finger will most likely just piss him off. To prevent him from retaliating, kick him in the nuts while he is down on one knee.
1
I point my finger into Neil’s face to make him irate. To ensure that I get the reaction I desire, I add, “You’re a greasy punk bitch, and I order you to be quiet.”
2
Neil takes the bait and points his finger back at me. He utters something about respect and how he’s not afraid of me, but I’m not listening.
3
I grab Neil’s finger with my right hand.
4
As I grab Neil’s right wrist with my left hand, I break his finger with my right. To rub salt into the wound, I mutter, “How you like that, greasy punk bitch?!?!” Next, I will soccer-kick him in the groin.
ACQUIRING THE HEADLOCK
This is an excellent technique for putting your opponent into a headlock, which allows you to pulverize his face until it becomes unrecognizable. If you look at the photos in the sequence below, you’ll notice that my hips are turned away from my opponent. This is to prevent him from grabbing my balls and applying severe downward pressure. Do not overlook technical detail. This technique works especially well on annoying children.
1
Angered, Neil approaches me with fists clenched. I outstretch my right hand, cover my face with my left hand, and turn my head away as though I’m cowering.
2
Lunging forward off my back foot, I wrap my left arm around Neil’s head. Notice how my right hand is shielding the left side of my face.
3
I grab my shirt with my left hand, tightly securing Neil’s head. Immediately I bend over, tug Neil off balance, and draw back my right fist.
4
I land the first strike of many to Neil’s face.
ESCAPING THE HEADLOCK
This is the most violent way to escape a headlock and it should be taught to every child at the age of five. It requires you to grab your opponent’s package, which is unpleasant, but it is better than having your face repeatedly punched. FYI, this technique doesn’t work when your aggressor is a woman.
1
I’ve been captured in a headlock.
2
I reach my left arm over Neil’s right shoulder and plant my hand on his face. For the best results, dig your fingers into your opponent’s eyes.
3
Forcing Neil’s head backward using my left hand, I grab his nuts with my right hand and violently lift.
4
Still forcing Neil’s head backward using my left hand, I yank upward on his nuts and lift his feet off the ground. The instant he hits the floor, he will curl into the fetal position and begin sobbing horribly. And I’ll have a handful of nuts.
INSIDE TRIP
The Inside Trip is one of my favorite takedowns from the clinch, especially from the over-under position. The nice part about this technique is that it is relatively safe. There is little risk of getting kneed in the face because you don’t have to drop your elevation, and if you fail, you can quickly recover and transition into another takedown.
1
I’m tied up with Neil in the over-under clinch. With both Neil and me having an overhook and an underhook, this is a neutral position.
2
Rotating in a clockwise direction, I force Neil’s weight off of his right leg by pulling on his left arm using my right hand and pushing into his body using my left arm. Once accomplished, I hook my left leg around the back of his right leg.
3
Throwing my left leg behind me, I reach down and grab the back of Neil’s left leg with my right hand. As my left leg gets higher, Neil loses his balance and falls backward.
4
Neil falls to his back and I come down on top of him, landing in his half guard. The following photos, had we decided to put them in this book, thus making it a page longer (and thus WAY too long), depicted me posturing and delivering many punishing blows to Neil’s head. I got a little carried away.
KNEE TO ELBOW
This is a very simple technique that you can use in the street or the cage. I tried to think up more shit to say about it, but as you probably realized by now, I’m not into padding my book with a bunch of fluff.
1
I’m squared off with Neil in my fighting stance.
2
I shoot my left hand forward like I’m throwing a jab, but instead of socking Neil in the face, I wrap my hand around the back of his neck.
3
Pulling Neil’s head toward me using my left hand, I drive my left knee into his midsection.
4
With Neil bent over from the knee strike, I draw my right elbow back.
5
Rotating my hips in a counterclockwise direction, I land a downward elbow to the side of Neil’s face.
COUNTERING STRIKES TO TAKEDOWN
A lot of fighters are in the habit of mirroring their opponent’s strikes. For example, if you throw a Thai kick to your opponent’s leg, there is a good chance he’ll immediately throw a Thai kick to your leg. It’s a subconscious way of saying, “Fuck you, bitch, I ain’t letting you get one up on me.” If I’m in a fight and I notice my opponent mirroring my attacks, I’ll often use this to my advantage. Takedowns are a lot easier to execute successfully when your opponent throws punches because it hinders his ability to sprawl or counter with a knee to the face. So I’ll throw a onetwo punching combination, and the instant my opponent throws a one-two punching combina
tion back, I’ll drop underneath his punches and shoot in for a double leg takedown. It is important to notice that once I have my opponent’s legs, I don’t drive him straight back because it would place me in his guard. Instead, I drive him to the mat laterally, landing me in side control.
1
I throw a jab at Neil’s chin.
2
I throw a right cross.
3
Having just eaten a one-two punching combination, Neil quickly fires off a jab.
4
As Neil throws a right cross, I drop my elevation and shoot in underneath his punch, seizing the backs of his legs with my hands.
5
Instead of plowing Neil forward, I drive him to my right side by lifting his right leg off the mat with my left arm and trapping his left leg with my right arm.
6
As Neil falls to his back, I come down with him and land in side control.
THE ASIAN DART
In today’s MMA, a lot of opponents have very tight defense, especially when you take their back. To prevent you from establishing your hooks and flattening them bellydown on the mat, they’ll keep their elbows pinned to their knees. And to keep you from locking in a rear naked choke, they’ll keep their chin tucked to their chest. Although finding yourself up against such an opponent can be extremely frustrating, I have just the technique to remedy the situation. Now I have to warn you, it requires you to stick your thumb up your opponent’s arse. Wrestlers call it “Checking the Oil,” porn stars call it “The Thumb Blast.” I call it the “Asian Dart” because I like to be different. No matter what you call it, the goal is the same—startle your opponent so severely that he raises his chin and allows you to lock in the choke.
1
I’m extremely frustrated. I’ve claimed Neil’s back, but he is balled up so tight I can’t do shit. I can’t secure my hooks, and I can’t lock in a choke. Extreme times call for extreme measures, so I decide to employ the infamous Asian Dart.
2
Keeping my weight on Neil’s back to maintain control, I extend my left arm and point my thumb downward.
3
I drive my left thumb into Neil’s ass, causing him to abandon his defensive tactics, elevate his head, and cry out in pain.
4
I seize the moment by wrapping my right arm around Neil’s neck. I conclude this step of the technique by pulling my thumb out of his ass.
5
I grab my left biceps with my right hand, and then cup my left hand around the back of Neil’s head.
6
I climb onto Neil’s back. To lock in the submission, I drive his head downward with my left hand and squeeze my arms tight. FYI, if your opponent sprawls lazily out on the mat and begins taking slow drags off a cigarette after you execute this technique, do not use it on him again.
KYOKOSHIKIN
I have to admit, a lot of the techniques in this section aren’t supersecret, but this one absolutely is. As you know, I spent four years of my life living in a small Korean village, and it was there that a Zen master taught me this unbeatable move. It takes real dedication and months of your life to master, but it is well worth the investment, as it can be applied to the street, the cage, even when fighting underwater. Even though I’ve made a lot of cheap jokes throughout this book, I wanted you to walk away with something real and tangible. I have sacrificed the trust of many to share this with you, so please do not misuse this piece of fighting knowledge. If you look at the photos you’ll notice that the most critical steps are two and three. It is very important that you get the hand positioning just right. You do not simply want to grab your opponent’s elbow—you want to tweak it up and back. This will cause him severe pain, allowing you to latch onto his neck with your opposite hand and drive your left foot into his sternum. When executed with the proper form, the end result is what you see in photo 4.
1
I’m squared off with Neil in my fighting stance.
2
Neil throws a jab, and I immediately intercept it with my right hand, shoot my left hand underneath his right leg, and kick out his left knee. As he goes down, I grab his elbows with my hands and bend them over the back of his head, disrupting his balance and cutting off blood to his brain. Next, I wrap my right arm around the back of his neck, grab his left foot with my right hand, and force his left leg over his right shoulder. As you can see, this not only puts unbelievable pressure on his spine, but it also affects his vision.
3
Without letting go of Neil’s elbows, I drive my right knee down into his kidney, rendering him unconscious.
4
I back away.
About the Authors
FORREST GRIFFIN is one of the top-ranked light-heavyweight mixed martial artists in the world. He won the first season of The Ultimate Fighter in 2005 and has been one of the most beloved UFC fighters ever since. He’s a political science graduate from the University of Georgia and a former police officer, and can grow an awfully full set of muttonchops. But down, ladies; Forrest and his main squeeze, Jaime, live in Las Vegas.
ERICH KRAUSS is a professional Muay Thai fighter and the author of more than twentyfive books, including Anderson Silva’s The Mixed Martial Arts Instruction Manual: Striking. He has written for the New York Times, and is the founder and publisher of Victory Belt Publishing. He lives in Las Vegas.
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Credits
Jacket photograph: Forrest Griffin by Hywel Teague, Fighters Only magazine
Jacket design by Anthony Morais
Copyright
GOT FIGHT?. Copyright © 2009 by Forrest Griffin and Erich Krauss. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Mobipocket Reader May 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-187966-1
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* If you actually know and/or can hook up with that many hot chicks and have breached the friend zone, it is a much more direct and substantially cheaper evening to simply grab some Cuervo 1800 and a case of the High Life and drink beers while your new girlfriends do body shots off one another. Just turn on a little stripper music, keep promising that you’ll all go to the club after you get your buzz going, and enjoy your own personal nightclub.