Yours and Mine

by Debbie Macomber

  The line went oddly silent. When Tanner spoke again there was a wealth of emotion in his words, although his voice was quiet. “I’m glad you phoned, Joanna.”

  She closed her eyes, feeling weak and shaky. “I am, too,” she said softly.

  “I’ll be there within half an hour.”

  “I’ll have coffee ready.”

  When she replaced the receiver, her hand was trembling, and it was as though she were twenty-one again. Her heart was pounding out of control just from the sound of his voice, her head swimming with the knowledge that she’d be seeing him in a few minutes. How wrong she’d been to assume that if she put him out of her sight and mind she could keep him out of her heart, too. How foolish she’d been to deny her feelings. She loved this man, and it wouldn’t matter if he owned the company or swept the floors.

  Joanna barely had time to refresh her makeup and drag a brush through her hair. Kristen had been in her room for the past hour without a sound; Joanna sincerely hoped she was asleep.

  She’d just poured water into the coffee maker when the doorbell chimed.

  The bedroom door flew open, and Kristen appeared in her pajamas, wide awake. “I’ll get it,” she yelled.

  Joanna started to call after her, but it was too late. With a resigned sigh, she stood in the background and waited for her daughter to admit Tanner.

  Kristen turned to face her mother, wearing a grin as wide as the Mississippi River. “It’s that man whose name I’m not supposed to mention ever again.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “You know?”

  Joanna nodded.

  “Good. Talk it out with him, Mom. Relieve yourself of all that inner stuff. Get rid of that turmoil before it eats you alive.”

  Joanna cast a weak smile in Tanner’s direction, then turned her attention to Kristen. “Isn’t it your bedtime, young lady?”

  “No.”

  Joanna’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, it is.”

  “But, Mom, it’s spring break, so I can sleep in tomorrow—Oh, I get it, you want me out of here.”

  “In your room reading or listening to a cassette should do nicely.”

  Kristen beamed her mother a broad smile. “’Night, Mom. ’Night…Nicole’s dad.”

  “’Night.”

  With her arms swinging at her sides, Kristen strolled out of the living room. Tanner waited until they heard her bedroom door shut, then he started across the carpet toward Joanna. He stopped suddenly, frowning. “She wasn’t supposed to say my name?”

  Joanna gave a weak half shrug, her gaze holding his. No man had ever looked better. His eyes seemed to caress her with a tenderness and aching hunger that did crazy things to her equilibrium.

  “It’s so good to see you,” she said, her voice unsteady. She took two steps towards him.

  When Tanner reached for her, a heavy sigh broke from his lips and the tension left his muscles. “Dear Lord, woman, ten days you left me dangling.” He said more, but his words were muffled in the curve of her neck as he crushed her against his chest.

  Joanna soaked up his warmth, and when his lips found hers she surrendered with a soft sigh of joy. Being in Tanner’s arms was like coming home after a long journey and discovering the comfort in all that’s familiar. It was like walking in sunshine after a bad storm, like holding the first rose of summer in her hand.

  Again and again his mouth sought hers in a series of passionate kisses, as though he couldn’t get enough of the taste of her.

  The creaky sound of a bedroom door opening caused Joanna to break away from him. “It’s Kristen,” she murmured, her voice little more than a whisper.

  “I know, but I don’t care.” Tanner kept her close for a moment longer. “Okay,” he breathed, and slowly stroked the top of her head with his chin. “We need to settle a few things. Let’s talk.”

  Joanna led him into the kitchen, since they were afforded the most privacy there. She automatically took down two cups and poured them each some coffee. They sat at the small table, directly across from each other, but even that seemed much too far.

  “First, tell me about Nicole,” she said, her eyes meeting his. “Are you worried now that she’s with Carmen?”

  A sad smile touched the edges of Tanner’s mouth. “Not particularly. Carmen, who prefers to be called Rama Sheba now, contacted my parents at the end of last week. According to my mother, the reason we haven’t heard from her in the past three years is that Carmen’s been on a long journey in India and Nepal. Apparently Carmen went halfway around the world searching for herself. I guess she found what she was looking for, because she’s back in the United States and enquiring about Nicole.”

  “Oh, dear. Do you think she wants Nicole to come live with her?”

  “Not a chance. Carmen, er, Rama Sheba, doesn’t want a child complicating her life. She never did. Nicole wanted to see her mother and that’s understandable, so I sent her back to West Virginia for a visit with my parents. While she’s there, Carmen will spend an afternoon with her.”

  “What happened to…Rama Sheba and the baseball player?”

  “Who knows? He may have joined her in her wanderings, for all I know. Or care. Carmen plays such a minor role in my life now that I haven’t the energy to second-guess her. She’s free to do as she likes, and I prefer it that way. If she wants to visit Nicole, fine. She can see her daughter—she has the right.”

  “Do you love her?” The question sounded abrupt and tactless, but Joanna needed to know.

  “No,” he said quickly, then grinned. “I suppose I feel much the same way about her as you do about Davey.”

  “Then you don’t hate her?” she asked next, not looking at him.

  “No.”

  Joanna ran a fingertip along the rim of her cup and smiled. “Good.”

  “Why’s that good?”

  She lifted her eyes to meet his and smiled a little shyly. “Because if you did have strong feelings for her it would suggest some unresolved emotion.”

  Tanner nodded. “As illogical as it sounds, I don’t feel anything for Carmen. Not love, not hate—nothing. If something bad were to happen to her, I suppose I’d feel sad, but I don’t harbour any resentments toward her.”

  “That’s what I was trying to explain to you the afternoon you dropped by when Davey was here. Other people have a hard time believing this, especially my parents, but I honestly wish him success in life. I want him to be happy, although I doubt he ever will be.” Davey wasn’t a man who would ever be content. He was always looking for something more, something better.

  Tanner nodded.

  Once more, Joanna dropped her gaze to the steaming coffee. “Calling you and asking about Nicole was only an excuse, you know.”

  “Yes. I just wish you’d come up with it a few days earlier. As far as I’m concerned, waiting for you to come to your senses took nine days too long.”

  “I—”

  “I know, I know,” Tanner said before she could list her excuses. “Okay, let’s talk.”

  Joanna managed a smile. “Where do we start?”

  “How about with what happened the night of the party?”

  Instantly Joanna’s stomach knotted. “Yes, well, I guess I should be honest and let you know I was intimidated by how important you are. It shook me, Tanner, really shook me. I’m not used to seeing you as chairman of the board. And then later, when you strolled off with Blaise, those old wounds from my marriage with Davey started to bleed.”

  “I suppose I did all the wrong things. Maybe I should have insisted you come with me when Blaise dragged me away, but—”

  “No, that wouldn’t have worked, either.”

  “I should have guessed how you’d feel after being married to Davey.”

  “You had no way of knowing.” Now came the hard part. “Tanner,” she began, and was shocked at how thin and weak her voice sounded, “I was so consumed with jealousy that I just about went crazy when Blaise wrapped her arms around you. It frightened me to have to d
eal with those negative emotions again. I know I acted like an idiot, hiding like that, and I’d like to apologise.”

  “Joanna, it isn’t necessary.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t mean this as an excuse, but you need to understand why I was driven to behave the way I did. I’d thought I was beyond that—years beyond acting like a jealous fool. I promised myself I’d never allow a man to do it to me again.” In her own way, Joanna was trying to tell him how much she loved him, but the words weren’t coming out right.

  He frowned at that. “Jealous? You were jealous? Good Lord, woman, you could have fooled me. You handed me over to Blaise without so much as a hint of regret. From the way you were behaving, I thought you wanted to be rid of me.”

  The tightness in Joanna’s throat made talking difficult. “I already explained why I did that.”

  “I know. The way I acted when I saw your ex here was the other kind of jealous reaction—the raging-bull kind. I think I see now where your kind of reaction came from. I’m not sure which one is worse, but I think mine is.” He smiled ruefully, and a silence fell between them.

  “Could this mean you have some strong feelings for me, Joanna Parsons?”

  A smile quirked at the corners of her mouth. “You’re the only man I’ve ever eaten Oreos over.”

  The laughter in Tanner’s eyes slowly faded. “We could have the start of something very important here, Joanna. What do you think?”

  “I…I think you may be right.”

  “Good.” Tanner looked exceedingly pleased with this turn of events. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

  Joanna thought—no, hoped—that he intended to lean over and kiss her. Instead his brows drew together darkly over brooding blue eyes. “Okay, where do we go from here?”

  “Go?” Joanna repeated, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. “Why do we have to go anywhere?”

  Tanner looked surprised. “Joanna, for heaven’s sake, when a man and a woman feel about each other the way we do, they generally make plans.”

  “What do you mean ‘feel about each other the way we do’?”

  Tanner’s frown darkened even more. “You love me.”

  Only a few moments before, Joanna would have willingly admitted it, but silly as it sounded, she wanted to hear Tanner say the words first. “I…I…”

  “If you have to think about it, then I’d say you obviously don’t know.”

  “But I do know,” she said, lifting her chin a notch higher. “I’m just not sure this is the time to do anything about it. You may think my success is insignificant compared to yours, but I’ve worked damn hard to get where I am. I’ve got the house I saved for years to buy, and my career is starting to swing along nicely, and Robin—he’s my boss—let me know that I was up for promotion. My goal of becoming the first female senior loan officer at the branch is within sight.”

  “And you don’t want to complicate your life right now with a husband and second family?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “It sure sounded like it to me.”

  Joanna swallowed. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was argue with Tanner. Craziest of all, she wasn’t even sure what they were arguing about. They were in love with each other and both just too damn proud. “I don’t think we’re getting anywhere with this conversation.”

  Tanner braced his elbows on the table and folded his hands. “I’m beginning to agree with you. All week, I’ve been waiting for you to call me, convinced that once you did, everything between us would be settled. I wanted us to start building a life together, and all of a sudden you’re Ms Career Woman, and about as independent as they come.”

  “I haven’t changed. You just didn’t know me.”

  His lips tightened. “I guess you’re right. I don’t know you at all, do I?”

  * * *

  “MOM, MOM, come quick!”

  Joanna’s warm cozy dream was interrupted by Kristen’s shrieks. She rolled over and glared at the digital readout on her clock radio. Five. In the morning. “Kristen?” She sat straight up in bed.

  “Mom!”

  The one word conveyed such panic that Joanna’s heart rushed to her throat and she threw back her covers, running barefoot into the hallway. Almost immediately, her feet encountered ice-cold water.

  “Something’s wrong,” Kristen cried, hopping up and down. “The water won’t stop.”

  That was the understatement of the year. From the way the water was gushing out of the bathroom door and into the hallway, it looked as though a dam had burst.

  “Grab some towels,” Joanna cried, pointing toward the hallway linen closet. The hems of her long pajamas were already damp. She scooted around her daughter, who was standing in the doorway, still hopping up and down like a crazed kangaroo.

  Further investigation showed that the water was escaping from the cabinet under the sink.

  “Mom, Mom, here!” Dancing around, Kristen threw her a stack of towels that separated in midair and landed in every direction.

  “Kristen!” Joanna snapped, squatting down in front of the sink. She opened the cabinet and was immediately hit by a wall of foaming bubbles. The force of the flowing water had knocked over her container of expensive bubble bath and spilled its contents. “You were in my bubble bath!” Joanna cried.

  “I…How’d you know?”

  “The cap’s off, and now it’s everywhere!”

  “I just used a little bit.”

  Three bars of Ivory soap, still in their wrappers, floated past Joanna’s feet. Heaven only knew what else had been stored under the sink or where it was headed now.

  “I’m sorry about the bubble bath,” Kristen said defensively. “I figured you’d get mad if you found out, but a kid needs to know what luxury feels like, too, you know.”

  “It’s all right, we can’t worry about that now.” Joanna waved her hands back and forth trying to disperse the bubbles enough to assess the damage. It didn’t take long to determine that a pipe had burst. With her forehead pressing against the edge of the sink, Joanna groped inside the cabinet for the knob to turn off the water supply. Once she found it, she twisted it furiously until the flowing water dwindled to a mere trickle.

  “Kristen!” Joanna shouted, looking over her shoulder. Naturally, when she needed her, her daughter disappeared. “Get me some more towels. Hurry, honey!”

  A couple of minutes later, Kristen reappeared, her arms loaded with every towel and washcloth in the house. “Yuck,” she muttered, screwing her face into a mask of sheer disgust. “What a mess!”

  “Did any water get into the living room?”

  Kristen nodded furiously. “But only as far as the front door.”

  “Great.” Joanna mumbled under her breath. Now she’d need to phone someone about coming in to dry out the carpet.

  On her hands and knees, sopping up as much water as she could, Joanna was already soaked to the skin herself.

  “You need help,” her daughter announced.

  The child was a master of observation. “Change out of those wet things first, Kristen, before you catch your death of cold.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’ll dry off as soon as I get some of this water cleaned up.”

  “Mom—”

  “Honey, just do as I ask. I’m not in any mood to argue with you.”

  Joanna couldn’t remember ever seeing a bigger mess in her life. Her pajamas were soaked; bubbles were popping around her head—how on earth had they got into her hair? She sneezed violently, and reached for a tissue that quickly dissolved in her wet hands.

  “Here, use this.”

  The male voice coming from behind her surprised Joanna so much that when she twisted around, she lost her footing and slid down into a puddle of the coldest water she’d ever felt.

  “Tanner!” she cried, leaping to her feet. “What are you doing here?”

  Fifteen

  Dumbfounded, Joanna stared at Tanner, her mouth han
ging open and her eyes wide.

  “I got this frantic phone call from Kristen.”

  “Kristen?”

  “The one and only. She suggested I hurry over here before something drastic happened.” Tanner took one step toward her and lovingly brushed a wet tendril away from her face. “How’s it going, Tugboat Annie?”

  “A pipe under the sink broke. I’ve got it under control now—I think.” Her pajamas hung limply at her ankles, dripping water onto her bare feet. Her hair fell in wet spongy curls around her face, and Joanna had never felt more like bursting into tears in her life.

  “Kristen shouldn’t have phoned you,” she said, once she found her voice.

  “I’m glad she did. It’s nice to know I can be useful every now and again.” Heedless of her wet state, he wrapped his arms around Joanna and brought her close, gently pressing her damp head to his chest.

  A chill went through her and she shuddered. Tanner felt so warm and vital, so concerned and loving. She’d let him think she was this strong independent woman, and normally she was, but when it came to broken pipes and floods and things like that, she crumbled into bite-sized pieces. When it came to Tanner Lund, well…

  “You’re soaked to the skin,” he whispered, close to her ear.

  “I know.”

  “Go change. I’ll take over here.”

  The tears started then, silly ones that sprang from somewhere deep inside her and refused to be stopped. “I can’t get dry,” she sobbed, wiping furiously at the moisture that rained down her face. “There aren’t any dry towels left in this entire house.”

  Tanner jerked his water-blotched tan leather jacket off and placed it around her shoulders. “Honey, don’t cry. Please. Everything’s going to be all right. It’s just a broken pipe, and I can have it fixed for you before noon—possibly sooner.”

  “I can’t help it,” she bellowed, and to her horror, hiccuped. She threw a hand over her mouth and leaned her forehead against his strong chest. “It’s five o’clock in the morning, my expensive Giorgio bubblebath is ruined, and I’m so much in love I can’t think straight.”