Betrayal Bend

by Andrea M. Long

  “Ooh, tell me more. Will it earn us even more money so we can become amongst the richest on the island?” Becca leaned forward to see what I was doing.

  “Are we not rich enough for you then yet, Becca?” Cam tormented. “Is that why you’ve got designs on Jake Corbin?”

  Becca shot back like she’d taken a punch to the gut. “Shay, how could you tell him? I told you he smiled at me in confidence.”

  “I didn’t. You were shouting about him one night when Cam walked past your room,” I said.

  Her eyes narrowed. “You mean you were eavesdropping. For God’s sake. I’m sixteen years old. I’m entitled to some privacy.”

  I knew then that I wouldn’t get another chance to look at my ideas that evening. Instead, we were on the cusp of a family ‘discussion’, ie an argument, due to Cam’s careless disclosure about Jake Corbin. As I put my computer down and sat to try to calm down an irate Becca, I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d said it deliberately in retaliation for my clutch at independence. Because now I was reminded that I had responsibilities that would always have to be put before my own needs.

  Cam apologized to Becca and as she went to bed, I followed her upstairs and toward her room. “Can I come in for a minute?” I asked her. Becca nodded.

  She flopped onto her bed and I sat on the end of it.

  “Cam was wrong to be listening, but he didn’t mean anything by it. He doesn’t have a bad bone in his body.”

  “I know. I was just so embarrassed. Jake’s really hot, and I thought you’d told him and that he was now going to tease me about it.”

  “No, it’s just your pseudo-dad being all overprotective because ‘our baby’s growing up’.” I smiled.

  “It’s weird isn’t it? You having to be like a mum when you’re my sister. Confusing. For both of us. Four years tomorrow since our lives changed and you got stuck with me until I’m independent. Or, until you and Cam earn enough money to buy me my own place.” She laughed.

  “In your dreams.”

  “No, in my dreams it’s Jake Corbin who’s buying us our own place. He’s my Cam. I just know it.” She sighed, half lost in a daydream. “I can only hope to be as happy as you and Cam. I’m glad you found someone to bring you happiness, Shay.”

  “Me too.” Reaching over I squeezed her hand. “Your time will come. You’re only young.”

  “So were you.”

  “It doesn’t mean you have to rush just because I did.” I got up and headed toward the door.

  “Do you sometimes wish you’d waited?” She asked.

  I saw a shadow pass at the bottom of the door. Cam was out there listening. I turned back to Becca.

  “No, I was lucky to find my happy ever after, but I just want you to be sure, that’s all.”

  Because ever after is a long time, I thought to myself.

  The light appeared again at the bottom of the door.

  Saying I’d see her for pizza and we’d talk more then, I left the room and went to bed.

  Cam was in there, in the bathroom brushing his teeth. I quickly changed into my pajamas and slipped under the covers, waiting my turn.

  Once we were both in bed, he crawled onto my back and I could feel his erection against my ass. His hand reached out to stroke my breast.

  I wiggled around, “Can I take a raincheck? My headache’s come back after tonight’s dramatics from Becca.”

  “Of course. But if it hasn’t gone by the morning, you’re to ring the physician, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He leaned down and kissed the end of my nose, making me wonder why I’d turned him down, when I loved him so much.

  The answers were somewhere between because I wished to spite him for causing tonight’s drama, and for his inattentiveness to my striptease intentions the evening before.

  I didn’t allow myself to think it could be connected to a man in a cabin.

  Six

  Cameron

  Every year at this time, the anniversary of her mother’s death, my wife’s behavior changed. Usually, she retreated within herself a little and I let her know I was there if needed, but largely I left her and Becca alone to comfort each other through it.

  But something was different this year. Shay was pricklier, more on edge. All I wanted was to take away her pain; it was all I’d ever wanted to do since we’d first met. To be able to make her smile. But right now, I was failing.

  Trouble was, I’d been brought up being told failure was not an option. Not for the Adler family. Neither was divorce. Not that I wanted one. I loved Shay dearly and hoped I would until my dying day.

  She was my everything.

  So I’d just have to try harder to get her to smile.

  I’d told Shay she could stay home today if she wanted, but she’d refused, coming with me to work bright and early and helping unpack the deliveries. Personally, I felt she should have stayed home and left with Becca, but I had to tread carefully right now. Soon, hopefully, my loving wife would return, and her dark mood would pass. Tonight, her and Becca were going out for pizza and that would leave us one step closer to normality for another year.

  “I went to look at those log cabins on the lake the other night on my run,” she announced out of nowhere while we were preparing for the morning rush.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “They look incredible. Just so peaceful. I was thinking that maybe we could rent one someday?”

  “We can rent a cabin,” I agreed.

  “Really?” There it was, that smile I loved so much. Maybe that was the way to break back through to her sunshine. A mini-vacay. The island would have to do without us for a weekend.

  “How about the weekend after next?” I suggested.

  She nodded her head enthusiastically.

  “I’ll book it after the rush is done.”

  Shay walked over to me. Closing the space between us and rising onto her tiptoes she brought her lips to mine.

  And if I could take her sadness away like that, just for a little while it was worth it.

  “Shall I go hand out some more survey cards?” I asked my wife.

  “You can do, although I think we’ve decided to go ahead, haven’t we?” She shrugged.

  “Can’t hurt to double check,” I replied, picking up cards and handing them out.

  I approached a table where a guy sat on his own nursing a coffee while staring at his phone. His foot tapped on the floor like a nervous habit. “Would you mind filling in one of these cards for the business?” I asked him.

  He broke contact with his phone and looked up at me, taking the card out of my hand. “Sure. You got a pen?”

  I handed him one and he took it with one hand while he was already reading the card. “Oh yes, I’ve seen a hoodie. Your wife jogged past me on the beach the other night wearing one.” He ticked the box on hoodies.

  “Oh, you bumped into Shay?”

  “Yeah, you’re a lucky man,” he turned back to the card and finished filling it in.

  “I know,” I replied. “I never take what I have for granted.”

  “There you go.” He handed me the card, “hopefully I’ve done what you asked.”

  I walked around the rest of the tables, knowing Shay thought I was being too cautious, but it was who I was. I didn’t want to do anything that could risk our financial security.

  When I returned from gathering up the cards, I handed them over to her and she whipped through them.

  She gasped and my brows furrowed.

  “What is it?”

  “Oh n- nothing. The corner of the card almost got me again. I need to order different paper, or I’ll be forever wearing Band-Aids.”

  “So, what do they say?”

  “Every one of them says they’d order, and most have left an email address for our mailing list, so for the love of God will you get this up and running now.” She faked exasperation with me.

  “Talking of running. The guy who was sitting over there said he saw you at the beach weari
ng your Brew Love hoodie.”

  “Oh?” Shadows of tension swept across Shay’s face, so fast I could believe I’d imagined them.

  “Shows you I was right that you should wear it. I think you’ve got yourself an admirer there.”

  “Don’t be silly,” she said, pushing me in the arm. “Now get in the back and fill the dishwasher.”

  I did as asked, but as I went through the doors, I stopped by the window, watching as Shay went back through the cards.

  She re-read one, before tearing it into pieces and throwing it in the trashcan.

  I’d seen it when he’d handed it to me, fixing his gaze on mine.

  Would you be interested in ordering a Brew Love hoodie?

  If the men’s looks as good on me, as the women’s looks on Shay, then hell yes!

  Ps thanks for the island recommendations, S. I think I might hire a boat today. Seems a shame not to when my cabin is so close to the water, right?

  Seven

  Shay

  What the fuck was Miller playing at writing that on the card? Thank God, Cam hadn’t seen it. But he’d told him he’d seen me. Why? Was this a game to him or was it because he’d not seen me last night?

  When he’d walked over to the counter this morning, he’d said nothing with words except his order, but his eyes had been filled with lust. He’d sat in the same seat again, the one where I couldn’t see his face. Taunting me with his proximity, knowing I couldn’t do what I wanted, to spend time with him again, getting to know him. Answering the call of my body to his.

  I wouldn’t see him this evening either because I’d be with Becca. That was for the best though. I was married. Miller belonged to a life I didn’t have. He needed to be someone else’s man. So why did that make my shoulders and neck tense so badly that I felt pain?

  He’s only here until Sunday, my mind whispered to me over and over again.

  No one would know.

  He can be your secret.

  Something just for you.

  I’d almost convinced myself that an affair was necessary for the future health of my marriage. To give me that one small thing of my own I craved. Something in my mind I’d be able to call on again and again in the future when my responsibilities threatened to suffocate me. I’d be able to remember giving myself over, being free. In my mind I watched the water dance on the lake while I clutched the edge of the dining table as Miller fucked me from behind.

  Fired Up was a lowkey family establishment. We sat outside where it was prettiest, strung lights hung overhead. They had paper tablecloths that you were invited to doodle on, and the most amazing tasting pizza.

  I’d ordered a bottle of Chianti and Becca a mixed-berries drink. When she’d drunk it down, I poured her some of the wine in her glass. Just the one. But the anniversary of our mother’s death meant I allowed my younger sister a sneaky tipple.

  “So let’s get it out of the way then. The part where we talk about them.” I sighed, and then got angry with myself. It wasn’t fair of me to display my frustrations to Becca. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. Let’s talk about them now though and then we could talk about the future, hey, and what we hope for.”

  Becca smiled. “I know you find this shit uncomfortable, but it helps me. It kind of presses a reset button for the next twelve months until the anniversary comes round again. I want to let it go, the fact I acknowledge it, and I will one day, but not today. I needed my sister today.”

  I reached across and squeezed her hand. “I’m here for you. Always.”

  “Does it get any easier? The memory of having seen her passed on? The shock of it? I think about it, and imagine what it was like, imagine I’d found her. I’ll never forgive myself for having come to stay with you instead of being there with her. I should have been there and maybe she wouldn’t have done it.”

  My sister said the same thing every year, except as she matured, her thought processes around what happened changed.

  “Don’t forget, I can book us an appointment at Compassion Counselling. We can have proper guided therapy to help us work through this.”

  Becca shook her head emphatically. “No. I only need you.”

  You. I need you. YOU. YOU. YOU. YOU. YOU.

  I took a good mouthful of my wine. “I can picture it still, but it’s like a fading dream now, more like a movie scene I saw than reality. I believe it’s my brain that’s done that. A survival mode, putting a layer between me and the horror of what I found that day.”

  I took a deep inhale.

  “I will never forget it. She didn’t have the happiest of lives with our grandparents and life with our dad, but she loved us. In the end her demons were too much for her though. She did what she did to be free.”

  “Leaving us behind having lost someone else.”

  “Suicide is not an easy option, Becca. She must have been in a dark place to do what she did that day. She sought freedom from pain.”

  “I guess. So it wasn’t anything to do with the fact I’d come to stay with you?” A tear slipped down Becca’s face. “Because I’d left her, told her how I was being called trash. How I wanted to live with you. But she wouldn’t listen. Said that was our life and God must have a plan.”

  “She always was stubborn as fuck.” I took another sip. “She left no note, Becca. We will never know why she did it. We can discuss all the possibilities but there are no answers to be found.”

  “I think that’s what I find most difficult. That she left us not knowing.”

  “Yeah, well life is all about not knowing. We can wish for our happiness, but life has all of the moves, doesn’t it?”

  Just as I said that, a man with dark hair walked past our table. The smell of his cologne invaded my nose and my senses. He turned back toward me as the waiter showed him to a seat. Becca’s back was to him and she had no idea of what was happening. But I did. The hairs on my arms were on end. Anticipation in the form of shivers ran down my back.

  Miller’s upper lip curled up. First in a smirk and then in a large smile. God, he was a beautiful man. I couldn’t smile back. This was torture and he knew it. He was playing a game with me again. He knew I’d be here tonight; I’d told him. Now I knew he was so close, but I’d have to try not to be distracted because my focus needed to be on my sister and this anniversary date.

  Whenever my eyes wandered, his were always on mine.

  Becca and I had just placed our dessert orders when my bladder decided I’d drunk too much wine and table water.

  I pushed back my chair. “Just excuse me a minute, while I visit the restroom.” I eyed the remaining wine. “Do not even think about having any more. I’ve seen exactly where that wine level is.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hurry up and pee because they might not bring my ice cream until you’re back.”

  That made me laugh. My teenage sister was all about keeping svelte one minute and hungrily devouring Ben & Jerry’s the next.

  My heart thudded in my chest and my knees trembled slightly as I got up and started the walk past Miller’s table. But as I walked past him, he didn’t look up, focused on his phone screen, a slice of pizza in his hand.

  When I reached the restrooms, I relieved the pressure on my bladder and then moved to the mirror. I was dressed down. Hair in the messy bun I loved to wear for comfort. Plain pale-green tee, blue denim boyfriend jeans and my comfy Converse. My face wore my disappointment and annoyance in my reaction to Miller.

  There was no one in here but me, so I slammed my hand down on the countertop of the basin unit. “Stupid fool,” I yelled at myself. My hand stung but I welcomed the pain, felt I deserved it for my mental betrayal.

  My eyes widened as I startled when the door pushed open and I found Miller standing inside behind me. My eyes found his in the mirror.

  “You sound… frustrated, Shay. I can help you with that.”

  A moan escaped my mouth, somewhere between a plea for him and an acknowledgment of my weakness when it came to him.

  “Al
l you have to do is nod your head, Shay. You don’t have to say a word.”

  I closed my eyes for a moment and then I opened them again and nodded my head.

  He closed the space between us, pushing me back into a stall. The door closed and his mouth met mine, hungry to taste me. He tasted of tomatoes and beer and smelled of sin. I breathed him in like he was the freshest air and I’d been living in a toxic wasteland. Tongues tangled and his hand unzipped my jeans, pushing them just below my panties. There was one brief pause where I thought he expected me to stop him, but I didn’t. His fingers slipped beneath the lacy material and a tip brushed against my clit.

  I moaned into his mouth. He kissed me over and over and then broke off, his lips trailing down my neck as his fingers curled in just the right ways to almost bring me to my knees. It wasn’t long before I pulsed around his fingers, and then I stood horrified as I realized what I’d done in a restroom of a family restaurant for God’s sake while my sister waited outside for her dessert.

  Miller took his hand from my panties and licked his fingers. “You taste delicious, and while I hope I get to taste you from the source, it’s okay if this is all that ever happens. Just blame me. I walked into the bathroom. I put my fingers in your panties. I brought you off.”

  “I need to go. Before someone walks in here and because my sister is outside.” Pushing past him, I rushed out of the bathroom and back to our table. I thought Becca would be looking around wondering where I’d been, but I found her heartily tucking into her ice-cream.

  “My stomach…” I started.

  “Gross. I have chocolate ice-cream so just don’t go there. No need for TMI. Guess you’ll not be wanting your brownies then?” She pulled my plate over to her side.

  “No.” I picked up the bottle of wine and poured another glass. My hunger was gone. Miller had settled it with his hands, and my guilt had stolen the rest. “I might as well finish the bottle.”