Freaks of Greenfield High

by Anderson, Maree

  They walked in silence. His sister kept slanting him quick glances, which he studiously ignored.

  About halfway to Jay’s place she couldn’t keep her peace any longer. “What gives?”

  He stared straight ahead. It was on the tip of his tongue to fob her off with some flippant comment. At the last moment he couldn’t do it. He just hoped she didn’t laugh in his face.

  “Tyler? You still with me?” She’d halted and grabbed his arm. Now she shook him gently.

  “Yeah. If I tell you something, will you promise not to laugh?”

  Her gaze raked his face. She obviously recognized the vulnerability lurking there, for she merely nodded, as if she didn’t trust herself to speak without screwing it up.

  He sucked in a deep, bracing breath. It didn’t help. When he spoke his voice cracked like he was on the verge of losing it. “She could have been The One, you know?” He ground his heel into a weed sprouting from a crack in the pavement. “But she’s not even human. And now she’s taking off and I’ll probably never see her again.”

  “Ah, shit.” Caro grabbed him and pulled him into a bear hug, ignoring his squawk of protest. “It’ll be okay. You’ll get through this. I promise.”

  He allowed her to awkwardly pat his back. He knew she really did get it. And it helped.

  A piercing wolf-whistle shattered the brother-sister moment. “Get a room, guys!”

  Caro released him like he’d burned her and visibly struggled to compose herself. She pulled it together fast, and he envied her the ability. “You’re such a dork, Matt,” she drawled.

  As Matt drew level with them, the cheeky grin slid from his face, replaced by stunned, open-mouthed, male appreciation. “You, uh, look amazing, Caro.”

  “I know.” She smoothed her silky dress over her thighs and fussed with the tie of her cardigan-wrap. Then, grooming complete, she plucked Tyler’s arm. “C’mon, we better get going.”

  Matt’s gaze dwelled on her for a long moment before he finally turned his attention to Tyler. “You going to Jay’s party?”

  “Yep. You?”

  “’Course. Off to Bob’s Burgers for a feed first, then I’ll head over. See ya ’round.” He made a point of catching Caro’s gaze again before he took off.

  She glanced back over her shoulder at exactly the same time Matt did. She waved and he did the same.

  Tyler threw her a lopsided grin.

  “What’re you smirking about?” she said.

  “Nothing.”

  ~~~

  Jay wiped tears from her cheeks. She pressed her fist against her heart, trying to keep the overwhelming pain at bay. She didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want to vanish from his life as efficiently and carelessly as she’d entered it. She didn’t want him to forget her, even though she knew that eventually, he would.

  She would never forget him, though. He was etched in her memory forever. Even if she erased it, she knew that she would always carry this pain in her heart. It was such a human condition, this anguish. And she cherished it.

  After running all manner of diagnostic tests, extrapolating all available data, she’d been forced to conclude she was suffering no anomaly. There was no part of her that was in any way, shape, or form, defective. Father had planned this, had designed her to evolve in this manner. All that had been needed to set her on this path was the right catalyst.

  Tyler had been that catalyst.

  Father had created her to be the daughter he and Mary Durham had never been able to have. He’d even used Mary’s genetic material to make Jay in her image. But in doing so, he’d never considered the long-term consequences to his own state of mind. Every time he’d looked at Jay, he’d seen his dead wife.

  Only now did Jay understand just how profoundly it’d pained Father to be forced to look at her, and interact with her, every single day. She was, in effect, a carbon copy of Mary, but she could never be Mary. And Father had never been able to bring himself to love her, and assist her to fully evolve.

  It seemed grossly unfair to finally find that missing part of her that made her so almost-human the difference was negligible, only to be forced to give him up.

  She expelled her breath in a wistful sigh. For the first time since she’d been given life, Jay examined herself critically. Who was the pale, smooth-skinned creature staring back at her in the mirror?

  Was she Cyborg Unit Gamma-Dash-One, Mary Durham’s cybernetically enhanced clone, or just plain Jay Smith?

  She knew who she wanted to be. And she could pretend—she was extremely good at that. Maybe when Tyler looked at her this time, all he’d see would be “Jay”. And maybe, just maybe, it would be enough.

  With shaking hands, she opened the shopping bag. Makeup. Hair products. Even a brush and comb. According to Caro, everything Jay needed to look attractive.

  First she tackled her hair. It proved no easy task. She’d never tried to style her unruly mane before. In the end, she stuck her head under the faucet and rinsed all the gunk from her hair with warm water.

  She assessed the damage as she squeezed the water from it and dried it as best she could with a towel. She wrinkled her nose. There was nothing for it but drastic action. She slathered on some gel, slicked the mass tightly back from her face, and tied it into a ponytail. The wet-look do was such a startling change that she blinked, and then blinked again because the girl staring back did not look like her any more.

  But there was no time to wonder whether she was doing the right thing.

  Five minutes later, she walked from the bathroom. The only makeup she’d used was the barest smudge of purplish shadow on her eyelids, a hint of blusher on her cheekbones, and a pink-tinted gloss on her lips. She’d been too overwhelmed by all the different products, too scared of overdoing it, to attempt more. The result was a wholesome girly-girl look. If that wasn’t the right “look” for her then too bad.

  Back in her bedroom, she dragged on the new jeans and a deep-plum-colored scoop-necked tee she’d bought with Caro’s approval. She added silver hoop earrings, a silver-tooled cuff bracelet and matching necklace.

  The only concession she made to her former self were her old black sneakers. They were comfortable and familiar, and she needed a heavy fix of familiar right now.

  Would her altered appearance even register with Tyler? Would he realize she’d done it for him, and appreciate this mask she had applied, these clothes she’d purchased specifically for this occasion? Did the way she looked really matter that much?

  So many questions she couldn’t answer.

  She heard a rap on the door. She knew who her visitors were even before Caro called, “Hey, it’s us. Open up!”

  Jay’s stomach twisted and she covered her mouth with shaking fingers. It was too late to hide.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “What took you so long?” Caro asked, her gaze glued to her precious new phone. “Gahhh! How the heck do you turn the predictive text off on this thing?” She stabbed a few more random buttons.

  “Jay.” Tyler certainly sounded as though her appearance had affected him. “You look—”

  She tried not to react to the stunned expression on his face. She sucked in a deep breath and held it, letting it out ever so slowly when the O of his mouth stretched into a smile.

  “Got it.” Caro finally glanced up from her phone. “Hey, you look amazing!” she said, finishing just as Tyler gave his final verdict.

  “Nice.”

  An awkward silence descended. She shifted from one foot to the other, illogically discomfited at being the center of attention. Vulnerable, despite having applied a physical mask to hide behind.

  Tyler stared at her. Hot-cold shivers scuttled up and down her spine, goosing her skin. She’d just made a huge mistake. If this was the reaction from him, what would all the other kids think? What would they do when they saw her like this? What would they say?

  She must have looked like she was about to bolt because Tyler grabbed her arm. “Sorry ’bout the
dorky compliment. I wasn’t expecting you to— You just caught me by surprise, is all.” He bent to kiss her cheek. “You look wonderful.”

  Jay’s breath caught in her throat and all she managed was a breathy, “Thanks.”

  “Can we come in?” He didn’t wait for a response. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her inside. She couldn’t even be annoyed with him because her legs had turned to Jell-O and without some physical prompting, she might have just zoned out and stayed put, basking in the warmth of his admiration.

  The apartment was now almost empty. The bookcases were gone, as was all the furniture except for a stereo system, and the two trestle tables Jay had pushed up against one wall, groaning with an assortment of sodas and snack food. She’d scattered numerous large cushions and beanbags around the outskirts of the room. For decorations, she had crisscrossed the ceiling with strings of colored lights.

  She pulled herself together, flicked a switch and the room lit up, flashing like some psychedelic fairyland. “What d’you think?”

  “Outstanding!” Caro gave her a hug and Jay had to hold herself still, tensing her muscles against the need to cling and seek comfort. “It’s gonna be some party. What can we do?”

  “iPod’s on the bench,” Jay told her. “Why don’t you check out the playlist and test the speakers?”

  “Sweet!” With a flick of her skirt, Caro sauntered off.

  Jay was as alone with Tyler as she’d ever be this evening, given fifty or so kids would be showing up in half an hour. She bit her lip, feeling awkward. But from somewhere, from some emotional reservoir she’d never before needed to tap into, she found the courage to show Tyler how she felt.

  She captured his face with gentle fingers. Gentle or not, she gave him no choice but to tip his face downward to meet hers. She pressed her lips to his, and her eyelids drifted shut as she savored him.

  His hands clamped her upper arms, hesitated, and then tensed to push her away. She was far stronger than he. It was her choice that she broke the kiss and stepped away, not his. And her heart felt like it had shattered into a trillion tiny pieces and would never be whole again.

  “What in the freaking hell d’you think you’re doing?” he hissed, hyper-conscious of his sister in the background, hunched over the iPod and oblivious. For now.

  His screwed up face and startled eyes were almost comical. Almost. “Kissing you,” Jay said.

  “You’re leaving tomorrow.”

  “Yes. I am. I have to.”

  “Then why? Why kiss me?”

  “Because I wanted to.”

  “Oh? And what about what I want?”

  She cocked her head to one side and frowned, trying to read him. “What do you want, Tyler?”

  “What do I want?” His laughter boiled up from between teeth so tightly clenched his jaw must surely be aching. The anguish in his voice hurt her like a physical blow never could. And that anguish told her exactly what he wanted.

  He wanted her to stay.

  He wanted her to be human.

  But he settled for the only truth he felt he could safely confess. “I want the impossible,” he said.

  He backed off even further, distancing himself, protecting himself. A beautiful human emotion Jay believed she might finally understand enough to return in kind, flashed briefly in his eyes before he gave her blankness. His jaw worked, and for one heart-stopping moment she believed he might ask her to stay.

  For one heart-stopping moment she believed she would stay, that she would find a way. For him. But then he turned on his heel and stalked over to Caro.

  Jay blew out the breath she’d been holding very slowly. She stood there, alone, in the middle of the vast space. She watched him talking to his sister, sharing some joke, arguing over song choices, acting like nothing had happened.

  Right. If that’s the way it’s got to be, then that’s the way it’s got to be.

  She wandered over to the table get herself a soda—not because she was thirsty, but because she needed something to do. She wondered how she was going to make it through the evening. And wished she’d never agreed to this farce.

  ~~~

  Em and the rest of her team were first to arrive, providing Tyler with a welcome diversion from his solitary brooding. Em made a beeline for him, plunking her butt down on the nearest beanbag. She glanced round the room. “Whoa!” She had to yell to make herself heard over the music. “Some place, huh?”

  Tyler nodded. “Yeah. Get you something to drink?”

  “Cola, please.”

  He returned with two colas and a bowl of pretzels. Em seemed quite happy to chat with him rather than join her teammates, who were skidding about the place in their socks, playing some weird form of human dodgems and yahooing every time someone got floored.

  He allowed herself to be charmed by Em’s attentiveness. Beat the hell out of wallowing in misery and pretending not to watch Jay.

  This was not how he’d imagined spending his last few hours with her. He glanced over at the girl in question and spotted her deep in conversation with Rach, the team’s relief pitcher. Rach was, as usual, emphasizing everything she said with her hands. Just as Sara moved to join them, Rach flung out an arm and managed to knock the soda right out of Sara’s hands.

  Tyler winced in sympathy. And tried not to react when Jay’s hand shot out and caught the soda before it could hit the floor.

  But instead of Rach’s usual hangdog expression when she made a dork of herself, she had a huge grin plastered all over her face. She looked totally buzzed, more excited than Tyler could ever remember seeing her.

  “What’s up with Rach?” he asked Em. “She looks like she’s just won the lottery.”

  Em’s gaze swiveled just in time to watch Rach pull Jay into a hug. And Jay hesitate just a moment too long before returning the gesture.

  “Jay’s been giving her some pitching pointers,” Em said. “Girl’s style is now total weirdness but somehow it works. You’ll see. She’ll surprise the hell out of you next practice.”

  “That so?” He wondered how Em felt about her relief pitcher’s dramatic improvement. But Em was Em. Doubtless she’d be pleased—both for the team’s sake and Rach’s. Em loved the game but she didn’t much like the stress of being the team’s main girl, too often their only chance of scoring a win.

  Had Jay squared it with her first, though? Asked how she felt? And had Jay decided to help Rach solely because she felt sorry for the girl? Her motivations were interesting. Fascinating, even. But he couldn’t afford to be fascinated by her any more.

  “Hey, Tyler, can I ask you something personal?”

  He gave his undivided attention to Em. It was safer. She was safer. “Sure.”

  “I thought you and Jay were, you know, an item.”

  He choked on his mouthful of soda and she thumped him on the back. “We’re, uh, just friends,” he managed. “Why?”

  “Oh. No reason.” She drained her soda and rolled from the beanbag onto her feet. “Another drink? This one’s on me.”

  He shook his head. “Nah, I’m sweet.”

  Jay sauntered past on her way to greet some more kids and Tyler had to force his gaze to halt mid-swivel. He was not gonna pine after her like some lovesick puppy. No freaking way.

  When Em returned, she stuck her soda on the floor, grabbed his hands and yanked him to his feet. When she overcompensated for his weight and almost overbalanced, he steadied her with his hands on her waist. Her warmth seeped into his skin—so very different from Jay’s coolness.

  “I love this song! Dance with me?” Her gaze was fixed on his face, her own expression just a little anxious as she waited for his response.

  He blinked. And looked around. No one else was dancing.

  She gave him a sheepish smile. “Someone’s gotta be first.”

  “Uh, okay. Sure.” He didn’t mind dancing. What he did mind was being stared at. What he minded even more was the slit-eyed gaze and what appeared to be an actual
snarl on Jay’s face when she spotted him with Em.

  She was leaving tomorrow, fergodsake! She had no claim on him. Not anymore.

  He turned his back on her and threw Em the most brilliant smile he could summon. She smiled back in a dazed kinda way. And his battered heart ached with guilt. He was using Em. He knew it, but he did it anyway.

  More kids arrived. Someone cranked up the stereo volume to eardrum splitting level. Caro and Matt, and a bunch of other kids joined him and Em.