Crush Me

by Black, Stasia

  The water pulses and massages at my lower lips while I stroke my clit. I have to be inside you. Remembering Jackson’s words plus all the stimulation has my back arching. My breasts crest out of the water into the cooler air of the bathroom. I can’t help grasping my nipple with the hand not circling my clitoris.

  I try to imagine it’s Jackson’s hand, but the fantasy can only go so far. My palms are small and soft. It’s not the same. The high I was riding loses its fervor. My brow creases and I squirm and rub at myself with more urgency, chasing the high.

  All I’ll ever have of Jackson are the memories. It has to be enough, damn it. But the more I rub, the more elusive climax seems. Which only makes me more frustrated and determined. I let my clit rest for a second and grab my breasts with both hands, squeezing and rolling the tips in between my fingers. Come on. I can do it. Just sink back into the pleasure. Come on.

  Crash.

  What the—? I startle so much I take in a mouthful of water as my eyes pop open.

  Only to see Jackson standing in the doorway.

  There’s a tray of food upturned at his feet where he must have dropped it. A shattered coffee mug’s sprayed brown liquid across the marble floor. A mix of eggs, bacon and pancakes lie scattered beside it.

  I cough from the water I unintentionally swallowed and press myself to the side of the tub. Though I feel stupid in the next second. Why? For modesty’s sake? God, Cals, he just found you in his tub, fucking masturbating.

  Oh God.

  He never left.

  He was making me fucking breakfast.

  Breakfast in bed, if the tray was any indication.

  And then he found me like this—

  Even my full-body cringe isn’t enough to express the humiliation I feel in this moment. I close my eyes but what I really want to do is sink back under the water and pretend none of this ever happened.

  “That’s the single fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  The low growl has me looking up in surprise. He’s not… mad? And doesn’t think I’m like, pathetic or something? The look on his face as he stalks across the bathroom suggests he feels the opposite. He looks hungry, but not for any of the spoiled breakfast scattered all over the ground.

  “Why’d you stop?” As always, his voice has the quality of command to it. “Show me how you touch yourself.” As he talks, he pulls off the white t-shirt he’s wearing. The sight of his wide, muscular chest and the blue-black fire in his eyes is enough to make me forget my momentary humiliation. Without another thought, my hand drops back below the water.

  He groans, low and throaty as he strips off his boxers and steps over the edge of the tub. The bright morning light and bulbs all around the well-lit bathroom leave nothing to the imagination, but Jackson doesn’t seem the least bit hesitant. I can only stare at his cock. I mean, I saw it last night, but now I have the opportunity to really examine it in the full glory of the morning light.

  And damn is it a seriously beautiful cock. It’s the width. That’s what left me feeling so deliciously sore this morning. He’s wide and round and there’s a thick vein that runs underneath the shaft to that beautiful, throbbing mushroom tip. I lick my lip and my breath hitches as he finally drops down to sit beside me.

  He groans again and grabs my hand, capturing it in his and wrapping it around his cock. With his hand over mine, he guides me to pump it up and down roughly several times underneath the water.

  “See what you do to me?”

  For the first time all morning, I hazard to lock eyes with his. His gaze sends my stomach crazy somersaulting, especially looking him in the eye while we pump his shaft together. I barely know this man, but this feels so intimate… I look away and try to pull my hand back, but Jackson doesn’t let me.

  Instead, he reaches over and grabs my waist in both his hands. With what seems like little to no effort, he maneuvers me through the water so that I’m sitting on his lap facing him, my legs spread on either side of his hips.

  I try to look everywhere except at those intense blue eyes of his. It’s futile though.

  “When was your last check-up?”

  What? My startled gaze meets his, and then understanding hits. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean, but—”

  “I’m clean, too.”

  In the next second, he has one arm around my waist, lifting me slightly in the water while his other hand is on his cock. I feel him nudging at my entrance. Oh Christ. There’s no condom. That’s why he was asking. There’s a moment when I can pull away. Say that I won’t do this without a condom. That I’m not ready to trust him like that.

  But I don’t.

  Then he’s got me positioned and is guiding my hips so that I sink down onto him and oh… God… That feels—

  I throw my head back once I’m fully seated on him. He’s so deep inside me, he’s got to be touching my cervix. Has any man ever been in me like this? David was never that adventurous, it was pretty much missionary style and in ten minutes, wham bam thank you, ma’am.

  Jackson lifts me in the swirling water and then coaxes me back down and any and all other thoughts are driven out of my head. Like last night, it’s just Jackson. Just this moment. With how he’s got me angled, I rub against him in a way that makes me crazy with every down thrust. But I still want more.

  Without even thinking about it, I press my breasts toward his face. I get one of Jackson’s rare grins at that and then he gives into my unspoken demand. He suckles a nipple into his mouth, teasing at first, and then pulling at it with his teeth. I hiss and my body clenches around him at the sensation. Then his hand plucks and pulls at the other nipple. It feels on the edge of too much, with jolts of amazing mixed with pain. Especially when he starts suckling hard and pinching at the same time.

  I squirm on top of him as the arm wrapped around my waist continues moving me up and down. My legs like jello, I do my best to assist his movements. But even though I’m on top, he’s the one fully in control of this dance.

  I can feel my climax, just out of reach. I twist and wriggle on top of him as he continues pumping in and out, never releasing his hold on my nipples.

  Until all at once, he does.

  Feeling floods back and my climax hits in one long rush. A high-pitched note comes out of my throat and Jackson pumps even more furiously before stilling inside me. He clutches me to him, his head buried in my breasts. I realize once I come back to myself and am breathing again that I’m holding him just as tight, arms wrapped around him, fingers clutched in his hair.

  Oh God, what am I doing? After the incredible rush, my heart pumps a mile a minute. Jackson is still hard inside my body. All I want to do is hold him closer and beg him to stay there forever. Which has me tensing and wanting to push off of him so that I can flee from his home.

  As if sensing my thoughts, Jackson’s grip on me tightens. His cock that’s still mostly hard inside me jumps as if it too is claiming some hold on me.

  “What are you thinking, baby?”

  I absolutely melt against him in spite of myself. Baby. The endearment sounds incredibly foreign coming from the usually stiff Jackson. But it also sounded incredibly perfect and right and natural. What’s happening to me? I don’t go gooey over a man. Never. I know better than this. I learned my lesson. Didn’t I?

  I try to laugh it off. “Nothing.” I shrug and smile as I finally pull away from his grasp. “Just that I’m getting pruney, I’ve been in here so long.” I hold up my hand to show him the wrinkled skin of my fingers. I slide a little further away and finally his cock slips out of me. There’s both relief and a stunning sense of loss at the sensation. Ridiculous. I barely know him, I remind myself. So what if there’s some off-the-charts sexual chemistry? That doesn’t mean anything. Nothing at all.

  Just when I’m about to say I should get going, Jackson reaches for me again. “Have you washed yet?”

  I should say yes or that it doesn’t matter, I’ll shower when I get home. I’ll just put m
y hair in a ponytail. It’ll be fine.

  Instead, stupidly, I shake my head. And I get another rare Jackson smile.

  He reaches over and grabs one of the fancy bottles on the side of the tub. Moments later, a creamy white shampoo fills his hand. He rubs it between his palms and then positions his body behind me.

  When he starts massaging the shampoo into my scalp, I try to hold myself rigid so that my body doesn’t touch his. I can’t explain, even to myself, but it just feels like… like I’ve already given away too much of myself to this man between last night and this morning. It was almost better when I thought he’d gone. He was the asshole. That I understood. He fit into my neat categories of men. But this?

  Jackson isn’t having the distance I try to put between us. After initially working the shampoo through my hair, he wraps that inexorable arm around my waist and pulls me so that my back is flush against his chest. Then he goes back to a leisurely massage of my scalp, moving methodically from front to back and then outward to the sides.

  He rinses his hands in the bathwater. “Close your eyes now, baby.”

  My heart does another acrobatic jump at the repeated use of the endearment. I close my eyes even as I’m telling myself not to be stupid. Baby. It’s just something guys say. Even Jackson, apparently. It doesn’t mean anything.

  I hold my breath as Jackson cups water in his large hands and pours it over my head to rinse the shampoo. Over and over again, he rinses and works the shampoo from my hair. I keep my eyes closed while he starts to wash the rest of my body. I’m keenly conscious of his hands as they start at my neck and work down my shoulders… then around to my breasts. My breath hitches when he goes there. To my surprise, he doesn’t linger, even though I feel him hardening underneath me.

  He’s so gentle with me. It seems impossible for such a giant of a man. Paradoxical. But as his hands swirl over my hips and wash the crease between my legs, I finally give in and lean all my weight back against him, absolute putty in his hands. I can’t not.

  And like he seemed to feel my tension earlier, so too he seems to sense my surrender. One hand stays there and his other moves my wet hair to one side of my neck. And then he’s kissing me behind my ear. I can’t help trembling underneath his touch.

  “You’re so beautiful. I don’t think you know how beautiful you are. How precious. When I touch you, all I can think is—”

  I turn around in his arms and put a finger over his lips. “Stop.” I shake my head to reinforce my words. “Stop talking.”

  A determined glint comes in his eyes and I can tell he wants to argue, so I silence him the best way I know how.

  I kiss him. As his lips welcome me, I know it’s not just a kiss to silence him. God, this is what I’ve wanted all along. Ever since I saw him standing in the doorway of the bathroom and realized he didn’t leave after all. He didn’t use me and cast me aside. He still might. No, scratch that—he probably will. But for now, for today, he wants me. He calls me beautiful.

  So I kiss him. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him with every ounce of the confusion and elation and passion that being around him brings out in me. He kisses me back for just a moment before standing up and lifting me out of the tub with him.

  I try to pull away so I can stand on my own and not trip him as he walks down the outer stairs of the tub. Like last night, though, he just puts a hand under my thigh and hefts me up. Does he know how insanely sexy his strength is? I wrap my legs around him and cling even tighter with my arms. My chest hurts because I’m hit that in spite of all the bullshit I’m feeding myself, I know this is what I really want—to be wrapped around him so tight, to just fucking cling to him and never let go. It’s terrifying and I want to make him put me down so I can run away, but for some reason I just clutch him tighter.

  He doesn’t stop kissing me as he steps out of the bath, one hand on the little rail by the wall for balance. As soon as we’re on the fluffy bath mat, he carries me back into the bedroom.

  The hand underneath my thigh is positioned in such a way that he has access to my most intimate places, and he’s stroking me even before we reach the bed. I’m already so swollen there that I can’t decide if I’m close to bursting or too stimulated to come again so soon.

  Jackson lays me out on the mattress and when his body comes down on top of me, the pulses that start to rock through my lower belly are close to coaxing out yet another climax. God damn this man’s wizardry.

  Jackson pulls his lips from mine only to kiss his way down my body. I blink furiously against the flurry of sensations assaulting me all at once. Oh God, it’s so close.

  He lingers at my breasts, sucking on each sore bud in turn until I squirm beneath him. When he makes his way back up and kisses me deep, I expect the pressure of him between my legs. But, while I feel his length full against my thigh, he doesn’t seek entrance. I’m riding right at that edge. So close. But not quite there.

  He simply keeps kissing me with deep, masterful dips of his tongue. It’s driving me crazy. Why has he turned suddenly languorous when I’m hot and needy? Impatient, I slide my hand down his body and clutch his cock, ready to position him so he can slide inside. But Jackson takes my wrist and lifts it up. He easily captures my other wrist so that both my hands are sprawled above my head. His kisses become even more forceful and the throbbing length at my leg is more insistent. I moan beneath him. Why is he torturing us both?

  “Jackson,” I whimper between kisses.

  His cock jumps and his grip at my wrists tightens. “Say it again,” he growls.

  At first I’m confused. Sex haze here. What did I even say?

  “My name,” he says as if hearing my unspoken question. “Say my name.”

  “Jackson,” I say again, rubbing my core up against him and wrapping my legs around his waist. I’m desperate for him and in this moment, not ashamed of it. “Jackson, I need you. Now.”

  He kisses me so hard for a moment, I can barely breathe, but I’m greedy for it. I kiss him back with just as much hunger. The pulsing beat at my core is thrumming riiiiiight at the tipping point. Just a little more— If he would just touch right there—

  But every time I try to position myself against him, even just his thigh, he moves away. He’s intentionally denying me, the bastard.

  At my whine of frustration, Jackson lets out a low chuckle. Mother fucking bastard. I’m about to bite at his tongue in my mouth when he suddenly pulls away. I let out a growl, especially because he still has my wrists pinned in place. He easily holds me still while he reaches into his nightstand.

  Now he’s grabbing a condom, even though he came inside me in the bathtub? Ugh, fine, if that’s what’s been holding him back, let him get the damn rubber on and then get that glorious fucking cock back inside me!

  What the—? He’s not holding a foil packet.

  “What the hell is that?” The question comes out breathless as I take in the slim metallic tube shaped thing he’s pulled from the drawer. It’s about an inch in diameter and 8 inches long with a rounded top and a small switch on the opposite end.

  Jackson clicks the switch and it starts to vibrate. Aha. Well, that answers one question, although I haven’t seen a vibrator like this before. Not that I’ve actually seen a lot of them. I’ve had some friends who swear by their battery-operated boyfriends, but I was always too embarrassed to keep one in the house.

  “Open,” he orders, bringing the long cylindrical object closer to my mouth. The objection dies on my tongue and for some reason, I do what he says. I open and he pushes the rounded tip inside my mouth. My lips close over it until I’m sucking it like a freezer pop. Jackson’s eyes flare and my pussy contracts. He plunges the toy in and out of my mouth and I can feel the wetness seeping from between my legs.

  Jackson’s eyes jump between my eyes and my mouth. God, I can’t believe I’m doing this in front of him. I’ve never done anything so… dirty. But at the same time, I can’t deny how crazy hot it is. I’m not quite able to give i
nto my inner porn star and start deep throating the thing or lapping at it like it’s my favorite treat. I just take what Jackson gives me, my eyes on him the whole time, watching for cues. But he seems to like what I’m doing already just fine.

  “That’s right, baby,” he says in a low grumble, “that’s right, suck it.”

  So I do. I suck it like I imagine sucking his cock and that makes me even wetter.

  Just when I’m getting really into it, he slips the toy out of my mouth. Then, with his hands on my hips, he roughly flips me over so that I’m on my stomach. The next second, he’s manhandling me again so I’m up on my hands and knees, ass in the air. He clutches my ass, massaging the cheeks. He’s not gentle and oh… wow, that’s… fucking magnificent.

  I bow my head down into a pillow. He continues to knead my ass like a deep tissue massage. Then he pulls the cheeks apart wide and I feel his head drop down…

  There.

  I almost jump off the bed in shock when I feel his tongue rimming my back passage. Oh God. Little jolts of pleasure zing all through my pelvic region at the touch. I can’t believe— I mean no one has ever—

  His thumbs dig in and he’s holding the area even wider apart. I hear a noise and… Did he just —? I look over my shoulder in shock.

  Yep, he just spit on me. Down there. He’s rubbing the spit into the hole with his thumbs and using the moisture to invade with one thumb. My eyes widen and I swear I choke a little at the sensation. I don’t have a moment to even figure out how I feel about any of it though, because in the next second, Jackson has the long bullet-shaped toy pressing into my pussy.

  “That’s right, get it nice and creamy for me,” he says in a concentrated whisper, eyes locked on that area of my body.

  I’m too embarrassed to keep watching him, so I drop my face back into the pillow. I should tell him to stop. Again there’s that thought, that this is all… too much. It’s too intimate, too soon. But the things he’s doing to me, God, I’ve never felt anything like it before—

  Jackson drags the cylinder from my drenched sex and the thumb that was probing at my ass slides out. I let out a breath only to suck another one back in when I feel that metallic toy replacing it.