All Our Lives

by Violet Haze

  Making me realize that perhaps I feel way more than I’m willing to admit. And not sure exactly what I should do with the way I’m feeling.

  But, then he’s kissing me, and once more, I’m pulled away from my thoughts by the one person who seems to know exactly when I need such a thing.

  Especially since the future will come soon enough.

  CHAPTER TEN

  If there is one thing I’ve learned since meeting Tobias, it’s that money can buy anything.

  Not that he has such an attitude. Matter of fact, his low-key way of living really appeals to me. He’s got a nice car, a nice house, and he dresses for his position, but a show-off? Not at all.

  When I asked him why he didn’t have a driver, or lots of staff, he told me it’s because he doesn’t need it. He’s perfectly capable of driving himself around, and making himself food, etcetera. Sure, it would be easier to let people do these activities for him, but his money is better spent on other things.

  Which apparently includes a faster turnaround for DNA.

  Mr. Cain returned to the house Sunday, making sure to apologize for the way he approached the subject of my parentage with both of us, something I instantly forgave him for. After all, the man had a job to do, and it is an unsolved mystery to this day. Who wouldn’t be excited about potentially solving it?

  Like I said, all was forgiven, and at Tobias’ insistence, both samples were sent to a facility of his choosing.

  And that’s how, five days after the initial conversation with Mr. Cain, I’m sitting at my desk at work when Tobias comes in and hands me a letter.

  A letter which informs me I am indeed related to Francis West.

  Even though I knew we were related the moment I saw the picture — our resemblance is uncanny — I still gasp at seeing the words on paper.

  I glance up, my eyes locking on Tobias, who is slouched in the chair and staring at me. His face unreadable, I stand up and walk over to him; he straightens so I may sit on his lap, which I do.

  He wraps his arms around my waist, but doesn’t do or say anything.

  I’m not even sure what to say in this moment, so I state the obvious. “We’re related.” I lick my lips and his eyes instantly focus on them. “Did you tell Mr. Cain?”

  “No need.” His gaze never leaves my mouth. “Your…grandmother contacted him to inform him, along with giving him permission to give you her contact information.”

  “Do you have it?”

  Tobias reaches in his jacket, pulling out a piece of paper from the inside pocket, and holds it out. When I try to take it from his hand, he doesn’t let go, saying, “She wants you to do more than simply call her. She is hoping you will go there.”

  “And I will—“

  “Tomorrow,” he cuts in. “She’d like you to show up tomorrow.”

  Surprised, I suck in a breath as he releases the paper into my grasp. “That’s so soon.”

  “You can say no.”

  “I know I—“ I stop, taking in the tortured look he’s trying to hide, yet failing at. “Do you want me to say no?”

  “Yes. No!” He frowns, removing one arm from around my waist to shove it through his hair in a show of frustration. “It’s not like that. I know you want to get to know them, but tomorrow is too soon.”

  “Not for her,” I point out. “To her, it’s been twenty-eight years.”

  “You’re awfully calm about this.”

  “Would me flipping out do any good?” I’m sure many people would think my reaction is rather abnormal, but it wouldn’t do me any good to flip out, or cry, or make myself sick about it. “Is it going to change the facts? Besides, I’ve had five days to get used to the idea I may be someone else.”

  “Five days? That’s all you need? Do you hear yourself?”

  I throw my hands up, jumping off his lap, and scowl at him. “What do you want me to say? I’m not like most people; even you should know that by now! I refuse to flip out about something I can’t change.” I toss the papers on my desk with a frustrated huff. “Nothing I do or say will make this any easier. Crying about it won’t change the fact I was abducted. It won’t change the fact my whole life is a lie. What good would doing anything but meeting this woman do for me?”

  “Joce—“

  “No.” I hold up a hand. “I’m going.”

  He pulls me back down into his lap, growling at me, as he positions me so I face him straight on. “Look at me.”

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I do, keeping silent.

  “First, I already told you I support you in this.” His grasps my upper arms, then smiles. “Do I want you to go tomorrow? No, of course not. We’ve not even been married a month, and I’ve certainly not had enough of fucking you either. I’m certain I never will.”

  Damn him, but I can’t resist my lips quirking up at his statement, and I relax a little in his lap.

  “You’re living with me, and I’m still worried about your safety. I can’t leave my work to come with you longer than it takes to get you there, which means I can’t protect you. I may be the boss, but you know me, even now I’m very involved in my work. All I can do is send Ivor with you and hope it’s enough.” With a slide of his hand to the back of my neck, he tugs me closer and kisses my lips softly. “I’m not in charge here. I don’t own you; I can’t make you stay. I’m dominant and I love my control, but I’m not an asshole. I want to make you stay, lock you in my imaginary dungeon, and keep you safe from a threat we both know is out there. Yet, even if that were something I could do, you’re cunning enough to find a way to get out anyhow.”

  I can’t help my laughter, because his assessment is undeniable.

  “I respect you, love.” The words are low, his voice fierce. “You’re intelligent, tough, and brave. I don’t know anyone else who would’ve handled the news the way you have; it makes me proud to call you mine. But, it doesn’t mean I can’t worry for you, because this is unlike anything else you’ve experienced. You’re walking into a whole different life. Even if you’re Jocelyn to yourself, to me, to your friends, and to many others, you’re Juliette to this woman. You are her lost grandchild, her legacy, and from what Brandon said, the future of the West family’s empire.”

  “I know. I’ve thought about this a lot.”

  “Do you?” At my nod, he sighs, pulling my body flush against his and hugs me. “As long as you’re aware of that. And the need to be careful. You’ve got people you can trust here, but you can’t be sure there. Don’t go anywhere without Ivor. Don’t be alone with anyone. That is what I’m telling you to do. And if you need me, let me know. I may believe you need to meet this woman without any distractions, including me, but it doesn’t mean I won’t come there and kick some ass if it’s needed.”

  All of a sudden, I feel sad, because he’s saying so much more than his words convey.

  “You’re saying goodbye without really saying goodbye, aren’t you?” I lift my head to scrutinize his face. “You don’t think I’ll come back, do you?”

  His whole demeanor changes, his eyes darkening, the misery in them evident. “Not goodbye. Only you can end what’s between us. But you’ll be eight hours away, love. Your whole life is about to change forever, and even if you desire it, you won’t get to keep both identities. You can’t be Jocelyn the local diner owner who helps run her business, and Juliette, the West family heiress.” I open my mouth to object, but he shakes his head. “I know you won’t believe that right now, but you’ll see. You’re no longer a ‘made-up name, with a made-up birthdate,’ to use your words. If this goes public, which I’ve no doubt it will, everything will change.”

  Hearing this makes me pause. I didn’t lie when I said I’ve thought a lot about this. I have, and I know what it means. He’s right, I am smart; enough to acknowledge he has a point.

  I do worry about the distance. The eight hours distance is driving, but even flying, it may not be conducive to two lives — or to our marriage being able to survive. I’m not quite sure
how I feel about that.

  It’s the idea of becoming a part of the public eye that scares me the most. It will put my face all over, making it all the easier for those who want to hurt me to find me. I will never be a ‘nobody’ ever again.

  “I understand,” I ultimately reply. “But even with all the things that could happen, I have to go. I need to.”

  “Then I will make arrangements and take you there myself.”

  I spend the rest of the evening setting up for things to get taken care of at the diner while I’m gone, then head to Iris and Dexter’s after work to fill them in.

  Both are incredulous as I inform them of my real identity, and fill them in on where I’m heading tomorrow.

  “She found you from the picture?” Sitting on the couch, both of them look confused, but it’s Iris who asks the questions. “How did she know it was you?”

  “She didn’t; we did DNA to make sure.”

  “Wow.” Iris stands up and hugs me. “I’m so excited for you. You’ll have to let us know how it goes. What does Tobias think?”

  “He’s supportive.” I return her embrace with a smile. “He knows this is important to me.”

  “Good. Do you know how long you’ll be gone?”

  “No, it’s one day a time at this point.”

  Dexter joins in on the hug as I tell them, “I’ll miss you two!”

  Sentiments they return as I promise to keep in touch, and shortly after, I leave to head home.

  And just like that, the end of my life as I know it collides with a whole new one.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  As Ivor, Tobias, and I get into the car sent to pick us up from the airport, my desire to throw up grows.

  Yesterday, after calling the number Mr. Cain had written on the piece of paper and receiving no answer, I dialed Mr. Cain himself.

  “I’m unable to tell you anything personal,” he informed me after I asked why she hadn’t answered the phone. “Are you planning to show up tomorrow as she requested?”

  “Yes.”

  “Excellent. Shall I give her a specific time you will be there?”

  After telling him six p.m., he said he’d pass the message on and wished me well, then hung up.

  Now here I am, about to meet Francis — that is, my grandmother— for the first time. I also assume I will meet my grandfather, Marshall, since I didn’t find anything indicating he died, but I can’t be sure.

  Tobias has his arm around my shoulders, and at my sigh, he tugs me snug against his side.

  “You all right?”

  “Yeah.” A pause, then, “I suppose I’m a bit nervous.”

  “I imagine anyone would be,” he says with a chuckle. “Just remember, you can call me any time.”

  “I know.”

  “Good. Now, keep in mind that Ivor will be closer to you than at home. Make sure they give him a room near to you, shouting distance preferred.”

  “Right.” At his name, Ivor drags his gaze away from the window to pay attention. “And how do I explain him being necessary exactly?”

  Tobias grins. “You don’t. Chances are they have no idea who you are, or of the danger you may be in, but you can never be too careful. This is why I said to be cautious about who you trust. Being we now know you are a missing heiress to one of the richest families in the country, they will think nothing of you having security.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “I work for you while we’re here,” Ivor jumps in, looking straight at me. “I know you’re smart, but I’ll still make this clear so there are no misunderstandings. Believe nothing you hear, and even less of what you see. You were kidnapped by someone they hired to take care of you. Your grandmother may’ve had nothing to do with it, but someone in this house likely did. Don’t go anywhere without me. Your life may depend on it.”

  “Are you sure I should do anything except live in a bubble?”

  Ivor snickers, looking back out his window before declaring, “Looks like we’ve arrived.”

  I instantly move to look out mine as we pass through iron-wrought gates, seeing nothing except grass and trees in the near distance. “Wow. How far back is the house?”

  “About half a mile,” Tobias says into my ear, having moved to see out the window as well. “This house has been in their family for generations, and they value the privacy it affords them.”

  “It’s quite lovely.”

  I admit, when we pull up to the house, my mouth drops open. I thought Tobias’ place was pretty big, but this place is gigantic from the outside, which means it’s even bigger on the inside. I’m bound to get lost in it.

  The driver gets out, removing my things from the back, and walks toward the house, leaving the three of us with no choice except to follow him. When the door opens, we enter the foyer, which is when I notice there is a butler.

  “A butler?” I mutter to Tobias, and he chuckles. “Really?”

  But he doesn’t get a chance to respond. The driver leaves the bags by the stairs and exits the house, the butler closing the door behind him. Then, he looks straight at me and smiles, seemingly unaware of my remarks.

  “Mrs. West awaits you in the sitting room.” He turns around. “I shall show you the way.”

  Good news for me is that it’s not that far away, which means I could find the front door again if I desire. He opens the door, and announces us.

  As we step inside, two figures rise from the couch near the fireplace.

  “Thank you, Stephen,” my grandmother says to the butler, smiling at me as I stand there feeling awkward. “Please, come closer.”

  Tobias clasps my hand tighter in a show of support before releasing it.

  When I’m finally standing in front of her, she reaches out and grabs my left hand with both of hers. Nobody says a word as we take each other in.

  Even though I know she’s in her mid-sixties — she’d been thirty-six when I was born — she doesn’t look it. Her hair is black with many silver threads through it, her eyes the same blue-grey as mine, as well as her height. I know her eyes are taking in all my features that mirror her own as the lingering doubt vanishes from her face.

  “Jocelyn, is it?” Her voice is soft and sweet, matching the gentleness in her hands as they hold mine. When I nod in answer, her countenance lights up, joy shining in her eyes as she says, “Welcome home.”

  Then, she does the thing I least expect her to do: she wraps her arms around me, enclosing me in her very warm embrace.

  Maybe it’s because the moment I’m in her arms, I feel her body trembling, her sniffles giving away the fact she’s crying and trying to hide it. Or perhaps the sudden sense of…rightness I can’t explain.

  Whatever it is, I return her embrace, tears of my own springing up before I can stop them.

  As tears slip down my cheeks in silence, she lifts her head and steps back, grabbing my hand once more in hers as the man standing next to her steps forward. I know who he is, but I let him introduce himself, which he does with a guarded smile.

  “I’m Marshall, your—“

  “Grandfather,” I cut in with a smile of my own, swiping the tears away with my free hand. “I know. I saw pictures.”

  “Excuse me.” Tobias coughs, stepping up to my side. “I should get going.”

  My grandmother releases my hand, holding one of hers out to Tobias. When he takes it, she does the same thing she did to me, and holds his hand still in hers. “No need to rush off, Tobias. We’d love to get to know you both; you’re welcome to stay here as well, if you’d like.”

  I watch his shoulders tense as he pulls his hand away. “Thank you, you’re very kind, but Jocelyn and I have discussed this. It’s best if you all get to know each other without distractions.” He grabs my hand, smiling at them, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “If I could just have a moment to say goodbye…?”

  Everyone including Ivor obliges, stepping out of the room, and leaving us alone.

  Tobias tugs me into his arms, making sure I fe
el every inch of him as he thrusts his tongue inside my mouth when I gasp, a hand sliding into my hair to grip it. I return the embrace with one of my own, matching his passion with everything I have, making it clear how much I’ll miss him.

  Caught off guard by the thought, I drag my mouth away, and stare up at him. “I…”

  He shakes his head, dropping his arms to his sides before taking a step back, sighing. “Don’t say anything. I have to go.”

  “Tobias—“

  “Please.” He uses a finger to cover my mouth. “Your eyes say it all. Their reception says it all. You’ve found your family and they need to be your focus. Don’t make it any harder for me to walk away than it already is.”

  I tremble as anger, desire, and confusion course through me.

  It had been foolish to believe he tried to say goodbye to me in my office.

  Because it’s clear he is saying his goodbye now.

  “You said only I could end it between us.” My hands curl into fists, but I keep them by my side even though he looks away from me. “You can’t do this.”

  It’s strange seeing a man stand taller, even as his shoulders drop in obvious anguish.

  He doesn’t look at me as he responds, his voice rough. “I will keep an eye on things for you at the diner. If you need me, you know where to find me, but I know Ivor will keep you safe.”

  I step forward swiftly and bang on his shoulders with my fists. “Why are you doing this? Look at me! You said you weren’t saying goodbye. You lied to me.”

  “Stop.” He grabs my hands, holding me still as he glares at me, eyes filled with so many emotions I can’t distinguish them. “You’re not mine, don’t you get that? Not anymore. I thought I could do it, but I can’t, not after what I just witnessed. I’m sorry.”

  He lets my hands go and they drop to my sides as I stand there, lips trembling from my inability to make sense of what’s going on. “What did you witness?”

  “I saw you, Joce. Everything you are, and everything you will be. You’re home, where you should’ve been all along, and I think that’s the best place for you.”