FOREVER SERIES: COMPLETE BOX SET

by Lynn, Sandi

  “I’m sorry, Elle, but I can’t.”

  He can’t? He basically rapes my mouth, and now, he sits there and says he can’t? A wave of hurt and rejection overtook my body.

  “Why not, Connor? Is it because I’m not one of your whores?” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

  He got up and wouldn’t look at me. “You’re not a whore, Ellery, and I just can’t.”

  I sat up and pleaded with him.

  “Please just tell me what’s wrong and why you don’t want me.”

  “I do want you, Ellery. That’s the problem. I want you too fucking much.”

  “How is that a problem?!” I yelled.

  He turned and looked at me with rage in his eyes. “You don’t want to know the real me. I’m not a good person. I use women for sex. I can’t have real relationships. I don’t want to.”

  “We don’t have to have a relationship. We can just be friends with benefits.”

  Yep, there it was, the thing I hated the most, I just yelled to the man I was falling in love with. He stood there and ran his hands through his hair. I stepped closer to him.

  “Connor, please. I need you.” I begged.

  “Don’t, Elle, don’t do this to me, to us. I can’t sleep with you.”

  Anger and rage grew inside me. He wouldn’t give me a straight answer or an explanation, so I did what I do best.

  “Fuck you, Connor Black!”

  I turned and walked out of the room, grabbed my purse, and headed towards the door. Connor followed after me.

  “Don’t you dare walk out that door, Ellery!” he yelled.

  I put my hand on the knob and held it there for a second as I took in a deep breath. I started to open the door when Connor came up from behind me and slammed it shut. He turned me around and pushed me against the door.

  “I fuck women for the pleasure. That’s it. There’s no emotion for me when I fuck them. There never has been!”

  More tears fell down my cheeks.

  “I seduce them, use them, fuck them, and leave them. Is that what you want? Is that how you want me to treat you?!” he screamed at me. “You’re different, Ellery, and you scare me. You make me feel things that I’ve never felt before. You’re all I think about, both day and night. I feel empty inside when you’re not around. Don’t you understand? It isn’t supposed to be this way, and if I sleep with you, this will all be ruined.”

  “What happened to you to make you this way?” I asked in soft voice.

  He looked away from me as he still had my body pinned against the door.

  “I had a girlfriend when I was eighteen. She started to become obsessive and wanted to spend every waking minute with me. It became too much to try to keep her happy, and it led me to feel like I was suffocating, so I broke up with her.” He paused and looked up at me as his eyes started to fill with tears. “She committed suicide two days later. She left a note, explaining that if she couldn’t have me, then she didn’t want to live and told everyone to blame me for her suicide.” He took my wrists and turned them up. “You see, this is why I feel sad when I see these on you. It’s a reminder of what I did, and how I killed her.”

  I gasped at his words as I broke his grip and cupped his face in my hands.

  “You did nothing wrong, Connor. It wasn’t your fault that she killed herself. It was her weakness and inability to cope. You cannot blame yourself.”

  “I swore then I would never fall in love or get emotionally involved with another woman, but with you, it’s too late. I’m already emotionally attached, and I’m doing everything I can to stop myself, but I can’t.” He turned away. His breathing was rapid.

  I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “I’m emotionally attached, and everything inside me said to stay away, but I see a side of you I don’t think you let other people see: a sweet, tender, and caring man who would give his world for someone he cares about.”

  He turned around and looked at me. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, kissing me passionately and warmly. Our tongues danced with each other as he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. My heart was racing with his, and my body was aching for his touch. He sat me gently on the bed as he lifted up my shirt and gently took it off. He tore the shirt off his back and unbuttoned his pants, never taking his eyes off me. I stood up, took off my jeans, and threw them on the floor. I laid myself down on the bed in just my bra and panties as he examined my half-naked body.

  “You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispered as he ran his hand up and down my stomach. He climbed on top of me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips met mine for a brief second until his tongue started to explore my neck. I moaned and tilted my head back to give him full access. I arched my back as he took down my bra straps and exposed my breasts. He groaned as he lightly sucked each nipple and ran his tongue in circles down my stomach. I pressed my hips against him and felt his erection, which made me ache for him even more.

  I took my hand and pushed it down the front of his pants as he moaned. He lightly traced the edge of my panties as his fingers made their way to the spot that needed him the most. He circled his fingers around before gently inserting them inside me. “You’re so wet, Ellery. God, I want you,” he moaned as he brought his lips to mine. He moved his fingers inside me and then in a delicate in and out motion. “I promise I’ll be gentle with you. If I get too rough, please promise me that you’ll stop me.”

  I nodded my head as I helped him take off his jeans and boxers. He took himself and gently inserted himself in me, looking into my eyes with each small thrust, slow and steady. Once he made his way fully inside me, his thrusting became faster. I screamed from the excitement. He was so hard, and he filled me with so much pleasure; something I’d never experienced before. My hands traveled to his backside as he moved in and out of me, steadying his movement. He brought his mouth to my breasts, sucking and lightly biting each nipple. This was what I needed. It was what I wanted from the moment I saw him standing in his kitchen. My hands moved up and down his back as I began to swell. He felt it too as his moans became louder and his thrusts more forceful. He took my leg and wrapped it around his waist, making penetration deep and intense.

  “Come for me, Ellery. Come, baby,” he whispered in my ear.

  I started to scream as the pleasure was so intense, and I was ready to explode. One more thrust, and that was it. I screamed Connor’s name as my body shook in pleasure, and he took me to a place that I’d never been before.

  “Christ, Ellery, you feel so good.”

  His moans grew as he yelled my name while filling me with his come. He looked at me, panting as I stroked his face with my hand and pulled him down onto me. He wrapped his hands around my head and buried himself in my neck. Our rapid heartbeats started to slow, as did our breathing. I was done for. There was no going back now, and I was scared I was headed for heartache and trouble.

  He sat up and gently pulled out of me, falling onto his side and looking at me. I laid myself onto my side, facing him as he softly pushed my hair away from my face.

  “You’re amazing.” He smiled.

  I blushed. “No, you’re amazing. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

  He kissed me on the nose. “Can I be honest with you?”

  Oh God, I thought, what did I do wrong? “Of course, you can. You can tell me anything.”

  He traced the outline of my jaw with his fingers as he ran them softly across my lips. “You said you never felt anything like that before. I haven’t either. It was like I was having sex for the first time.”

  I took his hand and kissed it. “That’s because we made love, Connor. It wasn’t just the act of sex. It was sex with feeling and emotion.”

  He pulled me closer and brushed his lips against mine so softly that I could have come again right then and there. Needless to say, that started round two!

  Chapter 21

  I awoke the next morning, snuggled in Connor’s arms. He was
holding me tight as my head rested on his chest. I opened my eyes and, for the first time in my life, I felt peace and serenity. He made me feel whole and safe like I’d never felt before. We made love three times last night, and it was the most beautiful experience that I’d ever had. Nothing like when I was with Kyle. I felt passion and love with Connor; it was like we couldn’t get enough of each other.

  We finally had our moment, and now, I faced a new problem. I had a secret that could destroy this man who finally gave himself to me.

  “Good morning, baby,” Connor said as he kissed me on the head.

  I looked up at him and smiled. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

  “I slept great. How about you?” he asked.

  I lightly ran my finger around his muscular chest. “Yes, I did. Someone wore me out.”

  He smiled as I moved up closer to his face, covering my mouth with my hand.

  “I have morning breath.”

  He laughed and, before I knew it, I was lying flat on my back with him on top of me.

  “I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me one bit.”

  I looked over at the clock. “Look at the time. We need to get out of here or we’ll never make it to the funeral on time.”

  Connor slid off me, got out of bed, and held his hand out.

  “It looks like we’ll have to shower together to save time.”

  I bit my bottom lip as I took his hand, and we walked to the bathroom.

  I would have preferred the water a little hotter, but with what we were doing, I was getting hot enough. He pinned my arms against the shower wall and took me from behind, kissing my neck as he moved in and out of me. He let go of my arms as he cupped each breast in his hands, rubbing and feeling them as deep groans came from the back of his throat. He moved flawlessly and had me ready to come the minute he touched me.

  “Are you ready, Elle?” he panted.

  I moaned with each deep thrust.

  “Yes, come with me, Connor,” I begged.

  The words were enough for him as his sexy moans grew louder. He pushed himself harder into me, and I felt his warmth fill my insides. He held me tight as we both sank to the shower floor and sat there in pure bliss.

  Once we were able to get ourselves out of the shower, we dressed, and I sat on the bed for a moment as I was starting to feel a little weak and tired.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” Connor asked as he stood over me.

  I smiled to mask what I was actually feeling.

  “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just sitting here, wishing we could spend another night in this beautiful hotel room.”

  He took my hand and helped me up. “Don’t you worry, there will be plenty beautiful hotel rooms in our future.”

  I smiled as he used the word “future,” which to me meant a relationship.

  What had I done? I needed to tell him something, but I couldn’t, not now. Once we got back to New York, I’d tell him everything and watch his perfect heart break. Tears started to fill my eyes as he looked at me.

  “Ellery, what’s wrong? Why do you look like you’re going to cry?” He wrapped his arms around me.

  “I’m just so happy, that’s all. You’ve made me so happy.”

  “You’ve made me happy too, baby. I can’t even tell you how much.”

  He kissed me and grabbed our suitcases as we headed back on the road to Michigan. I followed behind him, trying to fight back the tears.

  We were driving and deciding whose music to listen to. He liked mostly classic rock, and I was more of a pop, contemporary kind of girl, so we compromised and took turns listening to each other’s music. I would eventually get him over to my side of music, but that was going to take some work.

  His phone was sitting between us on the console, and it rang. I glanced over and saw Ashlyn’s name appear. Suddenly, my stomach tied itself in knots. I felt sick, and I started to sweat. There was no way in fucking hell he was going to continue to talk to her or see her. He pressed ignore and kept looking straight ahead at the road. She was someone that I needed to know about, and it wasn’t going to be painless, but Connor was mine now, and he was going to have to tell me the truth.

  I took in a deep breath. “Who is she, Connor?” I reached over and turned off the radio.

  He heavily sighed. “I knew you were going to ask me.”

  “Okay, then you must tell me about her if we’re going to move forward.”

  He took my hand and held it up to his lips. “I don’t want to talk about her now, Ellery. This isn’t the right time or place to do that.”

  “Fine, I’ll wait, and we’ll discuss her later. But whatever you tell me will be okay because things with us are different now, and we’re putting all our baggage in the past, right?”

  He looked over at me and smiled. “You bet we are.”

  “I have a question for you,” I said as I took the wrapper off my Twix bar. “Denny told me that you’ve been different since you met me. Is that true?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Denny shouldn’t be saying things like that, but it’s true. I was intrigued by you the minute I saw you in my kitchen. When I woke up and heard someone making a lot of noise, I walked downstairs to yell at whoever it was for being so loud. Imagine my surprise when I saw this beautiful stranger standing there, making coffee.”

  “Yes, but you yelled at me about your rules.”

  He shrugged. “Well, I thought that I’d brought you home from the club. I’m sorry about that.”

  I smacked his arm. He smiled as he looked at the road ahead.

  “When you told me what you did for me and gave me quite the attitude, it was that moment I knew I couldn’t let you walk out of my life. Denny knew it too because I kept talking about you without realizing it.”

  I laughed and reached over to kiss his cheek, but instead I shoved the Twix bar in his mouth.

  We arrived in Michigan, and I grew nervous to be back to a place that harbored such bad memories. Connor must have sensed it by my reaction. When I saw the “Welcome to Michigan” sign, he grabbed my hand and held it tight. My phone rang, and it was Peyton calling.

  “Hi, Peyton,” I answered.

  “Oh my God, Elle, I just had to tell you about my fantastical date with Dr. Hottie last night.”

  I started to laugh. “So, did you manage to get him to ask you out?” I put her on speaker so Connor could hear.

  “No, I asked him out, and we went to dinner, then to a club, and back to his place. Elle, he was phenomenal. He fucks like no one ever has before.”

  Connor looked at me and started laughing.

  “Wow, Peyton, that’s great.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Seriously, Elle, he made me do things that I never thought of doing before and, shit, is he big. I was worried when I saw it that it wouldn’t fit inside me. Elle, I got nervous that I wasn’t going to be able to experience this hot man.”

  Connor’s mouth dropped, as he was in shock by Peyton’s openness. I was used to it, so it didn’t faze me.

  “Peyton, sweetie, I have you on speaker, and Connor heard every word you just said.”

  “So, I have nothing to hide. Maybe you two should try it. Live a little, Connor. Take that girl to bed and show her your sexiness.”

  I wanted to die right there in the leather seat of Connor’s Range Rover.

  He unexpectedly shouted, “I already did, and she was amazing. She made me do things to her that even shocked me.”

  I hit him on the arm and shot him a look.

  “Woot! You go, girl! We’ll swap notes when you get back. I have to go. Dr. Hottie is summoning me back to bed.” She giggled.

  I hung up and shook my head at him. “How could you tell her that?”

  “Oh, please, love. Like you haven’t embarrassed me before.”

  I couldn’t argue with that, especially with the bartender at the restaurant and then the bellhop. I laughed and looked out the window at the all too familiar place I was heading to.

  We pulled into
the funeral home, and instantly, my stomach felt sick. I got out of the car and took a deep breath.

  “This is the same funeral home where we held the services for my mother and father,” I said as I stood in front of it.

  Connor put his arm around me. “You don’t have to do this. You can call your cousin and tell her you got sick or something.”

  “No, that’s the coward’s way out. I can’t escape reality. Besides, I have you with me.”

  As we walked through the doors, my cousin, Debbie, saw me and swiftly walked towards me. We hugged each other tight.

  “I’m so sorry for your loss, Debbie.”

  She started to cry on my shoulder. “I know, and I’m sorry for you too. I know they were like your surrogate parents growing up. What happened?” she asked as she pointed to my stitches.

  “It’s no big deal. I just fell and hit my head.”

  I looked over at Connor. “Debbie, this is my friend, Connor.”

  She shook his hand and then whispered to me, “I heard you and Kyle broke up. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not but thank you anyway.” I smiled as I squeezed her hand.

  She led us to the room where my aunt and uncle lay in their beautiful wooden caskets. I walked over and kneeled down in front of them, praying to God to keep them safe. Connor stood behind me with his hands clutching my shoulders. I stood up and made my way through the crowd, saying hi to old friends and making small conversation with distant family. I could hear the whispers of people talking about my attempted suicide seven years ago. I could hear the pity in their voices. The whispers went on about my dad and how he was an alcoholic and couldn’t stop drinking enough to raise his only daughter. They went on to say that if my mother was alive, I wouldn’t have tried to take my life. I had become the center of attention at someone’s funeral, and I was starting to get pissed. Connor overheard the soft talk and he put his arm around me.