One Wrong Turn: A Novel

by Deanna Lynn Sletten

  “Yeah. I plan on it,” Clay said.

  “Good. Now, how are you holding up?” Coop asked.

  “Not too well. My nerves are about shattered. That’s why I’m calling. Can you check if there’s an AA group nearby? Even if I have to drive into the city, I will. But it would be easier if one was closer.”

  “I’ll check on it for you, bud, and text you the location. Until then, hang in there, okay?”

  “I will. Thanks, Coop.”

  “I’ll keep Jess in my prayers.”

  “Thanks, man. She needs that,” Clay said. He wasn’t much of a praying man himself, but he’d take whatever he could to bring Jess back to him.

  “I know this is a difficult time for you, Clay, but it’s time you step up. Jess needs you now more than ever. She and the girls. This is what you’ve been working toward for two years. You can do this,” Coop told him.

  Clay took a breath. He knew Coop was right, but it was so much responsibility, so quickly. “I’ll try. One day at a time, right?”

  “Yep. One day at a time,” Coop said.

  After they hung up, Clay thought about Coop’s words: It’s time you step up. He knew Coop was right. In fact, Clay should have stepped up months ago. If he had come back to Jess and been here for her and the girls, maybe she wouldn’t be lying in the hospital unconscious.

  “Thoughts like that aren’t going to make this easier,” he said to himself. Standing up, he straightened his shoulders and steeled himself for whatever the future brought his way.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  They rode in silence the entire forty-five minutes to the hospital, as they’d done on the way home last night. No amount of prodding by Clay could get Maddie to speak, and Jilly stayed quiet as if out of loyalty to her sister. He glanced in the rearview mirror to gauge the girls’ reactions as they once again passed the dried paint on the asphalt. Both sets of eyes stared at it, but neither girl said a word. The stillness in the car afterward felt even heavier.

  He stopped at the nurse’s desk before going to Jess’s room. Maddie wanted to head directly to her mom’s room, but Clay made her wait. She crossed her arms and glared at him, but he didn’t give in. He wanted to make sure no one was in there doing any type of procedure on Jess before he took the girls in. The nurse gave him the all clear and said she’d let the doctor know he was there.

  When they entered the room, the girls immediately set their backpacks down and ran to their mother’s side. Clay walked around to the other side of the bed and gazed down at Jess. Seeing her today was not as shocking as it had been the first time. Her hair was clean and brushed, lying smoothly against her pillow. The bruises on her face and arms had turned a dark purple, and the cuts were showing signs of healing. Besides that, nothing had changed. Jess was still in a coma.

  “Your mom looks better today,” he said, trying to sound optimistic. “The nurse must have washed her hair.”

  Maddie glanced up at him but didn’t respond.

  Jilly gently took her mother’s hand. “Yeah. She looks nice today,” she agreed.

  Maddie pulled a chair over for Jilly, and the girls sat together beside their mother. If Clay had been alone with Jess, he might have talked about memories they’d shared and how much he’d missed her these past two years. But he wasn’t sure how Maddie would react to that, and he didn’t want to upset her right now.

  “You should talk to your mom, Jilly,” he said tenderly. “Like you did last night. I’ve heard that people in comas may actually be able to hear everything going on around them.”

  Jilly looked at her dad. “What should I say? I told her everything yesterday.”

  “Well, you could tell her simple things, like if you slept well last night, what you ate for breakfast, or how nice the weather is today. Anything, really. Just let her hear your voice.” Clay turned to Maddie. “And your voice too, Maddie.”

  Maddie didn’t even look up to acknowledge that he’d spoken.

  Jilly started talking softly to her mother. “Mom, me and Maddie are okay. I know how much you worry, but I don’t want you to. That way you can get better faster. Maddie helped me with breakfast this morning and poured my milk. I didn’t want to spill it all over and make a mess. And Dad’s here now. He can take care of us until you come home.” She glanced over at her dad, and Clay smiled at her. This seemed to encourage her to go on. “I’m glad Dad’s here. Maddie isn’t too happy about it, but I don’t mind.”

  “Jilly . . . ,” Maddie said in a warning tone. “Don’t tell Mom that.”

  Clay tried to keep a straight face, but it was hard. He looked down at his lap so the girls wouldn’t see him grinning.

  Jilly glanced over to Maddie. “You say something to Mom.”

  Maddie’s eyes turned to Clay, then back at Jilly. “Not now.”

  Clay knew Maddie wouldn’t say anything as long as he was in the room. She kept her feelings very close to the vest and wasn’t about to look vulnerable around him.

  His cell phone buzzed, and he glanced at it. Cooper had found a local AA meeting for him to attend. It was at seven tonight in the local Lutheran church basement. Relief flooded over Clay. A local meeting would be easier to attend, and he really needed to go to one before he totally lost it.

  Dr. Bradbury came in a while later, and Clay went out into the hall to talk to him. The girls had taken out their school assignments by then and were sitting beside the bed working on them. Clay was thankful that they had something to concentrate on other than their mother’s situation.

  “How is she doing?” Clay asked.

  “All signs show that your wife is healing fine. The brain swelling has gone down, thanks to the drugs, and her heart and lungs sound good. We’re pleased with how well she’s doing at this point,” Dr. Bradbury said.

  Clay frowned. “But she’s still in a coma.”

  “Yes, but this is only the third day. She could wake up at any time. We just have to be patient.”

  At that moment, being patient wasn’t one of Clay’s strong suits.

  When he reentered the room, both girls looked up at him expectantly.

  “What did the doctor say?” Maddie asked.

  He took a deep breath. He wanted to sound upbeat, despite feeling the opposite. It seemed to him that if Jess was doing fine, she’d be awake. “The doctor said your mom is doing well. He said we have to be patient and see how things progress.”

  Maddie gave him a sour look. “If Mom’s doing so well, why isn’t she awake?”

  Clay deflated like a pinpricked balloon and sat heavily in the chair. “I don’t know, Madds. I’m repeating exactly what he told me. That’s all we’ve got for now.”

  She stared hard at him a moment, then returned to her schoolwork. Jilly’s face, however, was a mixture of emotions. She looked like she was trying to be strong like Maddie, but her lip quivered, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She raised those eyes to Clay, and his heart melted. All it took was a nod of his head, and she came flying into his arms, letting the tears fall.

  “Is Mom going to be okay?” she asked into his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  Clay held her tightly, his heart filled with love for his little girl. Being away for so long, he’d forgotten what it felt like to have small arms hold him in such a loving embrace. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, he said, “The doctor is doing everything possible to make sure she’ll be fine, sweetie. We have to hold in there. Believe me, I want her to wake up as much as you do.”

  “Why? So you can leave again?” Maddie said sharply.

  His mouth dropped open at Maddie’s spiteful words. Jilly pulled away and stared at him, her eyes wide, clearly wanting him to reaffirm that he was staying. He could see it in those deep pools of blue.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he said softly to Jilly, seeing the relief in her face. “I’m staying right here,” he said, louder and more determined, looking over Jilly’s shoulder at Maddie. But all he got for his effort was
Maddie wrinkling her nose and returning to her schoolwork.

  Jilly, still in his lap, drew closer and whispered in his ear, “I believe you.”

  “Thank you,” he whispered back. Then she climbed down, wiped her tears away with her sleeve, and went back to her chair and her schoolwork.

  In those few moments, Clay had been through the gamut of emotions. Stress was his enemy. It tempted him do the one thing he shouldn’t. His nerves were stretched thin, making him wonder how he’d even make it through the day.

  The hours wore on. Nurses came and went, offering comforting smiles. Maddie read, and Jilly worked on word puzzles for extra credit. In the silence, Clay had too much time to think. He gazed at Jess, wondering what he’d do if she didn’t wake up. He knew he should think positive thoughts, but he also had to contemplate the future. How could he, a musician who worked odd hours and sometimes went on the road for weeks at a time, provide a good home for his girls without Jess? Who could he trust to watch over his daughters? And what did he know about raising two girls anyway? Jess had always taken care of the day-to-day matters with the family. What if he screwed up? Or worse, what if he started drinking again? Just thinking about it scared him to death. But he knew one thing for certain—he’d never leave his girls again.

  He replayed the past two years in his mind, wondering how he’d been able to let the time go by without seeing them. He understood why he had, but it seemed like such a lame excuse now that he was with them. He hadn’t planned on being away this long—it had just happened. After his last stint in rehab, he’d been determined to go back to Jess and the girls and try once again to be a family. But after living in a sober house for two months, he had decided he still needed more time. By then, Jess had moved the girls up north, and their LA house had been sold. He’d rented a small apartment, thinking it was only temporary. One day at a time. That was his mantra. First, he’d started working again, slowly picking up studio jobs until his schedule was full. He’d stayed away from playing live in bars or on the road. He knew that would be too much for him to handle. As the weeks went by, and he was able to work and stay sober, he’d told himself he would soon be able to return to his family. But weeks had turned into months, months into years. Every time he thought he was ready to add his family back into his life, he’d panic and put it off. What if he returned to them and couldn’t stay sober? Was that fair to Jess? The girls? So he would put it off longer, just to make sure he could maintain his sobriety. But two years? How could he have let that happen? It was no wonder Maddie couldn’t stand the sight of him.

  At noon, they went down to lunch in the cafeteria and then returned to Jess’s room. Nothing had changed with Jess. She just lay there, and the silence continued to swell between Clay and the girls. When Eileen dropped by at one, it was a huge relief for Clay to see her.

  “How’s she doing?” she asked.

  “The same, I’m afraid,” he said. “But the doctor said it’s only the third day and that we shouldn’t worry.”

  Eileen nodded.

  “Can I speak to you in the hall a moment?” he asked.

  “Okay.” She turned and headed out of the room.

  “I’ll be right back,” Clay softly told Maddie, who was still reading her book. Jilly had fallen asleep in her chair.

  “More secrets?” Maddie asked, glancing up.

  “There are no secrets,” he replied, then followed Eileen into the hallway.

  “What do you need?” She asked when they were alone.

  “I was thinking about the accident. Do you know much about it?”

  Eileen thought a moment. “The police didn’t tell me very much. I know that it had rained earlier that day, so the highway may have been slippery. Jess had driven to Colma for paint and groceries. She’d mentioned to me earlier when she picked up my kids that she might do that. No one knows what caused her to spin out and roll the car, though.”

  “Did you see the car after the accident?”

  She shook her head. “No. The kids were waiting at their schools to be picked up, and when Jess didn’t show, my daughter called me. I picked them up and took them to my house. I called the police station because I was worried, and that’s when I found out about the accident. I went to the hospital alone that night to check on her.”

  “I hoped you might know more,” Clay said, disappointed.

  “Wait.” Eileen dug around in her purse, then handed him a business card. “An officer was here that night and gave me this. He can give you more information.”

  Clay looked at the name of the officer, Darrin Brinkley. “Thanks. I’ll call him and see what he knows.”

  Eileen nodded. “How are the girls doing?”

  “Fine, for the most part. Worried about their mom. Trying to get used to me again. It’s been tough on them, though,” he said.

  “Well, I’m here to help if you need me.”

  Hesitating, he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “There is one favor I wanted to ask. Could the girls stay with you for an hour or so tonight? I have somewhere I need to be at seven o’clock.”

  She studied him carefully. Clay figured she was weighing whether or not it was her business to ask where he was going. Finally, she said, “Why don’t you bring them by at six, and they can eat dinner with us?”

  “Thanks. That would be perfect.”

  After Eileen left, Clay walked down the hall a short distance so the girls couldn’t overhear. He called the police station and asked for Officer Brinkley. Unfortunately, the officer was on patrol, so Clay left his name and number. When he walked back into the room, Maddie stared at him a moment, then returned to her book.

  Clay knew he and Maddie had to talk about her anger at some point, but not just yet. His emotions were too raw to start that conversation. He hoped that after his meeting tonight, he’d feel calmer and ready to explain some things to both girls. They deserved an amends from him, and he planned on following through with it soon.

  After a couple more hours of painful silence and no change in Jess’s condition, he spoke up. “Girls, I have to be somewhere at seven, so I’m dropping you off at the Neilsons’ house at six, and you can eat dinner with them. I promise I won’t be long.”

  Maddie’s eyes shot up. “I want to stay here with Mom. We stayed later last night.”

  “I know, Madds. I’m sorry. But we can’t tonight. I promise we’ll come back tomorrow to see your mom, okay?”

  “Where do you have to go? You don’t even live around here or know anyone. Are you going to a bar?” Maddie’s eyes burned at him, her anger so stark that even Jilly leaned away from her, eyes wide.

  Clay’s heart pounded in his chest as his nerves unraveled. He stood and stared at Maddie, his words coming out sharper than he’d intended. “Listen, Maddie. I get it. You’re angry with me. But I don’t have to explain my every move to you. I’m still your father, despite what you think of me. Do you understand?”

  Maddie stood too but didn’t reply. She shoved her books and notebooks into her backpack and then stormed out of the room. Dropping his head, Clay heaved a big sigh as he forced himself to calm down. When he looked up again, he saw Jilly staring at him, her eyes brimming with tears. He hurried to her and fell to his knees. “I’m sorry, Jilly-bear. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  She swiped at the tears that had fallen on her cheeks. “It’s okay,” she said in her small voice. Picking up her backpack, she brushed past him and sped out the door.

  He rubbed his hand over his face, angry now at himself for making Jilly cry. Standing, he walked over to Jess, who lay peacefully in the bed. “I’m trying, Jess. I truly am. But I can’t do this without you. Please, don’t make me do this without you,” he said softly. He kissed her gently on the forehead and left the room.

  The meeting started exactly at seven with eight men and four women sitting on metal chairs in a semicircle. It was a typical church basement, with a false ceiling, fluorescent lights, and dark, durable carpeting. But the walls were
painted a soft dove gray, and paintings of flowers and trees hung on the walls, giving the room a tranquil feeling.

  “Good evening, everyone,” a man said, standing up. He was tall and squarely built with a deep tan that looked like he worked outdoors. “I’m Alex, and I’m an alcoholic.”

  “Hi, Alex,” everyone said in unison.

  “As of today, I’ve been twelve years and three months sober.”

  A small murmur of admiration went through the group.

  “I’m happy you could all make it here tonight. Welcome to those who are new. As usual, we are here not to judge, but to listen. This is a safe place, and nothing said here should ever leave this room. Now, with that in mind, please feel free to share.”

  Everyone glanced around the room, waiting for the first person to speak. When no one did, Clay spoke up. “Hi. My name is Clay, and I’m an alcoholic.”

  “Hi, Clay,” everyone echoed.

  “I’ve been sober for one year and ten months, and I’ll be the first to admit that it hasn’t been easy.”

  “Welcome to our group, Clay,” Alex said.

  “Thank you. I was relieved to find a local group here. As you can tell, I’m new to the area. My wife was recently in a terrible car accident, and I came here to be with her and our children. Needless to say, the stress is wearing on me.”

  Everyone in the room sat silently watching Clay. He figured that would happen. It was a small town, and by now everyone would have heard about Jess’s accident. But no one had known that Jess was married. Clay took a deep breath and continued. “I’m sure you’ve all heard about Jess Connors’s accident. I’m her husband.”

  Alex nodded. “I’m sorry about Jess,” he said. “I live next door to you, and our children are friends. We’re all praying for her.”

  Clay looked closer at Alex. Was he Eileen’s husband? The other half of Neilson Contracting? He certainly looked the part.

  “Thank you,” Clay said. “It’s been the hardest on my girls, which makes it stressful for me. Your support is important in helping me stay strong through this horrible time.”