“Oh. I wanted to ask him something,” I said, thinking Betsy might divulge some more information.
“Maybe I know the answer,” she said confidently.
I snickered. “I’m sure you don’t know the answer to this.”
With a serious expression, she said, “Try me.”
“Fine.” What did I have to lose? If she didn’t know, it didn’t really matter. “Can you think of any reason Jace wanted to talk to my father?”
“No one wants to talk to Ralph. He’s so…dull.”
That’s not how I would describe my father. “Well, I had gotten the impression they had talked, and I can’t figure out why.” If Carlton was giving Jace all the information he needed, then there was no reason for Jace to speak to my father.
“Well, there is one thing that comes to mind. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Betsy, please tell me and let me be the judge of that.” I had asked my father, and he wouldn’t tell me. No shock there.
“Well, it might actually be my doing that suggested he speak to your father.”
Gee. You butting in? “What did you tell him?”
“That your father has connections at the Bachelor Tower. Jace has been on the waiting list for a few years, and I told him that Ralph might be able to help expedite getting accepted for a place.”
Jace wanted to live there? I knew what that place was about: men living a wild life from booze to women, both in endless supply. If that was, in fact, where Jace wanted to live, then I knew he and I were definitely not on the same page. I might not be out looking for a husband, but I wasn’t opposed to marriage.
“And you’re positive that this is what he wants?” I asked.
“You wouldn’t doubt if you saw his face when he received a denial. Guess he’s given up.”
Not that I wanted him living in a place like that, but if it made him happy, that was all that mattered to me. And my father owed him too. Jace had a dream once that included me, and my father ripped it away. Not just from Jace, but from me as well. I’m glad he at least still knows how to dream, even if I don’t like the dream he’s chasing.
“I hope he doesn’t give up. You never know when luck comes your way,” I said, not telling Betsy that I was going to speak to my father on his behalf. You might be able to say no to Jace, but hopefully, you don’t refuse me.
“You know Jace. When he has his mind set on something, nothing gets in his way.”
I wish he had his mind set on me.
“Okay, that’s enough of Jace. Let’s talk about something else. Did I tell you that I’m considering starting my own practice here?”
“In Boston?” Betsy asked, filled with excitement.
I shook my head. “No, but in the States. I love what I do, but…I think I want to be home for a while. And before you ask, I don’t mean living with my father either.”
“Oh, good. I mean, it has to put a kink in your love life. You know, things go really good on a date, and when he kisses you goodnight at the door, dear ole dad is watching you through the peephole.”
A shiver ran through me as I thought back to my shower at the cabin. How many of Carlton’s men had seen me walking outside naked? Even when I had to go to the bathroom. All I was worried about was making the tree big enough so Jace didn’t see me. For all I know, I was being watched then too.
“That never even crossed my mind, but thanks for the visual,” I chuckled.
“Whatever it is, I’m just glad to know I don’t have to go months without seeing you. I missed our girl time.”
“You just like having an excuse to blow off work and stay up all night eating junk food,” I teased.
She laughed. “There is always that too. But if we see each other too much, I might need to get a gym membership.”
I placed my hand on my stomach and said, “I think we should go for a jog now. That steak bomb sandwich you brought was delicious, but did we really need the extra cheese?”
Betsy nodded. “So you didn’t see what else was in that bag?”
I shook my head. “Please don’t tell me ice cream because it will be soup by now.”
“Nope. I picked us up some peanut butter cup cheesecake.”
I fell back on the bed and asked, “Betsy, are you trying to kill me?”
Betsy said, “No, but if you gain fifteen pounds, then we will be the same size, and I can borrow your clothes again like we used to.” I rolled over and looked at her, and she had a huge grin on her face. “In case you’re in the mood for doing some shopping today, I think you should get a green dress. It’d go with your eyes, and also, I don’t have one.” With a wink, she added, “Yet.”
Betsy pulled the cheesecake out of the bag and tried to hand it to me. I raised my hand and said, “I’m going to pass on dessert. But I like your idea. Let’s go shopping. A new wardrobe might be just what I need… what we need.”
She shoved the cheesecake back in the bag and hopped off the bed. “I know exactly where we should go.” When I got up, Betsy walked over and gave me such a tight hug, I thought my ribs would break. “I’ve really missed you.”
“Because you wanted someone to shop with?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. This you. The one who can laugh and smile. I know you’ve had your share of crying as well, but it beats the heck out of the woman you’ve been for the last few years. It was like you were here, but never really here. I know it doesn’t make sense, but your emotions didn’t seem…genuine.”
I knew what she meant. Ever since I had met Prince Babboo, I had put myself in a box, one that I thought nobody could see. But now that when people love you, they can see things that others can’t, no matter how hard you try to hide it.
It wasn’t the news that Babboo was never going to hurt me again that changed everything. It was when I was with Jace. The connection between us sparked an array of different emotions within me. Once those flood gates opened, there was no closing them again. I could kick, scream, and cry, but the only way for me to feel all the good was by also feeling the pain too. Even though Jace and I aren’t speaking, our time together saved me in more ways than one. For the first time in a long time, I know it’s okay to be happy and dream again.
“I know what you mean. And that’s why I’ve decided to open my own practice here.”
As we headed out of my room and down the stairs, Betsy added, “I can’t wait for Jace to hear that you’re not leaving.”
And I can’t wait for him to learn there is a vacancy at the Towers with his name on it. I was going to make that happened one way or another. It was time for us all to heal from mistakes of the past. Us, all having what we want in our future is a good place to start. Now all I have to do is convince my father of that.
“You’re pushing your luck, and if you keep it up, this is going to be the shortest shopping trip ever.”
She ran her hand over her lips. “My lips are sealed.”
Chapter 21
Jace
This was supposed to give me a place to go to escape whenever I needed it. But in ten years, the only other time I was here was with Shannon. Everything I see or touch reminds me of her. That is good because she’s not someone I want to forget.
There was so much damage done in our relationship after the first break up. I can’t even believe Shannon loved me enough to let me into her life and heart a second time. Although the circumstances were totally different, the result was the same. I hurt her
Is that all I’m capable of doing? Ralph said I wasn’t good enough for her. I always thought he meant money. Most likely, that assumption came from my not having any. That wasn’t the case now, and yet I hurt her anyway.
They say you hurt the ones you love most. That’s a fucked up statement, but by my track record, it’s accurate. I never loved anyone except for Shannon. I wanted to give her everything, still do, but it’s like the more I try to hold onto her, the more I seem to fuck up.
Being here has shown me a lot about myself.
I never had a family growing up, and even though I wanted to ask Shannon to marry me, I didn’t have a clue how to be a good husband and father. Even now, I surround myself with people who are single. If a friend ever talks about a woman and feelings, we tell them to pull their head out of their ass and get focused on what is important: Money and success.
It worked for me. I was happy and living the dream. So many people I knew envied me for all I have achieved. What they didn’t ever see is what I lost to get here. The price was high, and it wasn’t just me who paid it.
When I left the first time, I hated Ralph and blamed him for Shannon being in pain. But she never knew what he’d said to me, she only knew what I’d done. Her pain came from my actions. The weight of that guilt is mine to bear. But this second time wasn’t the same. I needed to explain to her what really happened. Ralph might want to believe I brought Shannon here for her safety, but that wasn’t the case. I wanted to spend time with her. Do things like we had when we were younger. I knew we couldn’t go back in time, but mistakenly I thought we could build something new.
That was a foolish fantasy. You don’t build something without laying the foundation first. That’s like me thinking I could be a billionaire without doing the work to make it happen. The problem is still the same. I don’t know what it takes for me to be…good enough for Shannon. All I know is how to make money, and that isn’t something important to her.
Packing my bags, getting ready to head back to Boston, I can’t help but take one last look around the cabin. Even this place. I built the cabin with only what I needed to stay here. It was lacking a lot of things. I made a mental note of all the complaints Shannon had about the place. Next time I come, it’s going to be different. Better.
I wasn’t thinking about just the cabin any longer. I needed to make some serious changes in my life. My priorities are all fucked up. What I thought was happiness, really was just sexual gratification and scoring the next big deal. There wasn’t anything real. Never has been, except with Shannon.
I want real again. Fuck, I need it again.
When I get back to Boston, I’m going to find a way to win her back. Not that I deserve it, but I can’t picture living the rest of my life without her. Getting her to believe that wouldn’t be easy. My track record so far was shitty. Proving I’ve changed is going to take more than words. And I need to be able to show her, and myself, that I’m not the same man.
I tossed my bag into the truck and headed down the mountain. As I came around the last bend before the main road, my cell phone rang. There was no need to look at it. I was still technically on vacation. They could leave a voice mail, and I’d deal with whatever issue there was when I returned to the office. This working 24/7 was something else that needed to stop.
The phone continued to ring. I grabbed it off the console and tossed it to the back to take away the temptation to answer. Breaking habits didn’t happen overnight or a few days of seclusion in a cabin. I was going to be work in progress. In the past, with work and dedication, I’ve always gotten what I wanted. I need that same focus and commitment to change and become the man Shannon deserves.
A few hours later and I’m back in the city. My body is riddled with frustration, and I haven’t even gone into the office. Usually, I can’t wait to sit behind that desk. Right now, all I wanted to do was see Shannon.
I reach in the back and grab my cell. Ten calls from Betsy, which unfortunately was normal. But one number came up that I didn’t expect to see. What do you want now, Ralph?
The last time we spoke, our conversation didn’t end in a good place. I’m not sure how many more meetings like that I’d be able to handle before blowing my top. Losing my control with Ralph would be losing Shannon forever, if I haven’t already done that.
Reluctantly I returned his call. “Hello, Ralph. I guess you’ve heard the news about Prince Babboo?”
“I have, and so did my daughter. I wish it could’ve been handled differently,” he said.
Handled differently? He thinks Babboo was murder. Fuck! It explained the call. He thinks I’m responsible. Shocking even to me, but I’m not.
“Not sure what you’re implying, but from what I heard, he was on a plane that crashed.” Keeping it short and simple and to the only facts I know was key to not letting him know anything about the information Gabe and I had planted. That’s something we’re taking to our graves. The last thing I needed was for Ralph to open his big fucking mouth and tell Shannon he thinks I killed that bastard.
“And that all? His plane goes down, and everything goes back to normal? Seems too…easy.”
“I wouldn’t know. I’m not a pilot,” I said dryly.
“No. And I don’t believe it was just an accident.”
“Are you accusing me of something?” I hope not.
“No. Prince Babboo made a lot of enemies. Any one of them could’ve sabotaged the plane. Since you never left the States, I’m sure you had nothing to do with it,” he said. “But I wouldn’t have blamed you if you did. I’m not saying I like you Jace, but we do have one thing in common. We would do anything to keep Shannon safe and make her happy.”
“At least you’re right about that.”
“I wanted to talk to you about Shannon,” he said.
Instantly my heart raced. “Is she okay? Is there something wrong?”
“She told me she’s leaving again.”
I had expected that. Carlton said he was going to notify the agency her paperwork was clear. I thought I’d have more time before they called and gave her a new assignment. “You must be used to that by now.”
“This is different. She’s moving out of my house.”
“She’s thirty. I’m sure you saw this coming.” I’m surprised she didn’t do it earlier. There was no way I could’ve lived under the same roof as Ralph. I can barely hold a civil conversation with him.
“We had a good talk, her and I. I see I’ve made a lot of mistakes. The biggest was holding onto her too tightly. They say if you love something, set it free. I’m hoping when she returns, our relationship will be better.”
It seemed as though I wasn’t the only one checking myself. “I’m sure it will be.” I hope the same for mine. “Was there something else you wanted?”
“Yes. You should be receiving a call today. One that you’ve been waiting for.”
“Okay,” I said, not knowing what he was talking about. “I’ll be sure to have my phone with me.”
“Good. And…thank you again for all you did for Shannon. I’m glad she can go back to her normal life without looking over her shoulder.”
“So am I.” I ended the call and closed my eyes. Spread those wings, Shannon. You deserve your chance to fly.
I knew that once she did, she’d find everything she was looking for even if it wasn’t me. All I’ve ever wanted was for her to be happy. She finally has her chance.
There was no point sitting in the truck any longer. I might as well go up to my office, shower, and dress for work. Without Shannon in my life, I might as well keep driving this business hard.
I’d been at my desk for a few hours and still no call that was out of the ordinary. Whoever was supposed to call must’ve changed their mind. If it had anything to do with Ralph, I probably didn’t want to talk to them anyway.
A big part of me thought it might be Shannon who’d be calling. That was a surprise I wouldn’t have minded. But there was nothing. Not a call or a text from her. Even Betsy hadn’t mentioned her name when I walked past her desk. That meant Shannon must’ve given Betsy an ear full of what an ass I really am.
The intercom buzzed. “Yes, Betsy.”
“You have a call on line one.”
“And does that person have a name? Do you know what they want?” Is it Shannon?
“Yes. They want to speak to you,” she said angrily and disconnected the line.
I’d talk to her about her attitude, but I’m better off not hearing what she really wants to say. I’ll stick with t
he daggers for now.
I picked up the line and said, “This is Jace Goldstein, how may I help you?”
“Mr. Goldstein, we’ve been trying to reach you for several days. Hope all is well,” a gentleman said.
“I’ve been busy. What is it I can do for you?” Usually when someone keeps calling, they want something.
“There is a vacancy. It’s yours if you’d like it. But the decision needs to be made today as you know, we have a waiting list.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear. There is no way. It couldn’t be. “Are you calling about the Bachelor Towers?” I held my breath waiting for his response.
“I am. Mr. Hamel reached out to me a few days ago and stressed your interest in getting in as soon as possible” Ralph called them? Why? Maybe he wants me out of his daughter's life that fucking bad.
“That was…very nice of him,” I said, not trusting his motive at all.
“Yes, it was. He’s never approached us for a favor before, so we felt obligated to help. The timing was impeccable, as one of our…guests must make other living arrangements.”
“Getting married?” I asked.
“Yes. There seems to be a trend of that happening right now. But from what Mr. Hamel has said, it’s not something you’re seeking for yourself. That’s good because I’m sure you are well aware of our policies regarding women.”
“I am. It’s one of the things that interest me the most.”
“So should I expect you today to come and sign the contract?” he asked.
I should be saying yes and rush down there immediately. That word wasn’t coming out of my mouth. Why? I’ve worked years to get this chance. It is finally here. All I have to do is say yes, and I can live the bachelor’s life that men would give a limb for. Yet, I’m still…undecided.
What was there to think about? Shannon is leaving. She said she didn’t want to see me again. The Bachelor Towers would be the best place to forget all my troubles and move forward.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I can’t move forward, not until I settled things in the past. Shannon and I need to talk one more time. I have to try. Not just for her, but I need to do this for me as well. Without her, I’ll always just be a shell of the man I could be with her.
Uncontrollable Bachelor (Bachelor Tower Series) Page 14
