Beauty's Quest

by C. S. Johnson

  *24*

  ҉

  “BACK ALREADY, ARE WE?” Amalia asked.

  Rose shot her a hateful glare. “You know the answer to that.”

  “I don’t mean to celebrate,” Amalia told her gently. “I wanted to congratulate you.”

  “It’ll have to wait,” Rose said, pushing past the Dragonkeeper. “Mary! Sophia! Ethan! Come quickly, and bring the medical supplies. Theo’s been hurt, badly.”

  Mary fluttered over quickly, fretfully. “I was worried about this,” she murmured.

  “I know,” Rose said. “But it was a risk we all knew to be possible. Can you check him over?”

  “I will, of course,” Mary said. “But I’m not sure there’s much I’ll be able to do. Dragons can have a numbing effect on fairy magic, even when they’re this close.”

  “I’ve got the herbs and healing potions,” Sophia spoke up. “Which ones do you think we’ll need?”

  “Philip, go see about setting up a tent. Use some of my blankets,” Rose ordered. “Sophia, you and Mary will need to find items needed for burns, possibly, and spirits for open wounds.”

  “I can see the slashes through his back,” Sophia said.

  Rose flinched at the frightened quality of her voice. “Move him over to his pad. Get him as comfortable as possible. Philip, where’s that stuff for the tent, so we can keep him warmer?”

  The group scuttled around, bustling with their various duties as Rose gently arranged Theo’s silent form. She cupped his face and spoke to him.

  “Theo? Can you hear me?”

  “Yes,” he mumbled back, without opening his eyes. “Ugh.”

  “We’re back out at the campsite,” Rose told him. “We’re going to patch you back together.”

  He opened his eyes. “Are you all right, Rose?” His question, honest and concerned, made her guilt come rushing back.

  She ducked her face from his gaze. “There’s no need to worry about me when you’re in this condition,” she told him. “I’m going to leave you to Mary for a bit.”

  Before he could object, she hurried off, calling for Ethan, who was nowhere to be seen.

  Nikolai stepped forward. “Your boy’s been off this morning, foraging a bit,” he told her. “He’s gone off on his own.”

  “Oh.” Rose said. “I guess It’s always good to make sure we have food stocked, right?”

  “I doubt he’ll bring back much.”

  “He’s a good tracker and hunter, even though he’s young.”

  “I’ve no problem with his youth,” Nikolai said. “But he took his harp with him.”

  “I see.” Rose gave him a small smile. “Broken hearts again, right?”

  “Yes.” Nikolai shrugged. “But he’s young, and only the young can love so quickly.”

  “Those things have a way of staying with us sometimes.”

  “Yes, but it’s a fallacy to assume it will.” Nikolai leaned back, his eyes returning to the gate, where Amalia waited patiently, as the activity around their camp continued.

  “She’s the one who broke your heart, isn’t she?” Rose asked.

  “No,” Nikolai said. “It was God who did the breaking, as I said before.”

  “What do you mean?” Rose asked.

  Nikolai nodded down to Theo’s camp, where Mary was hovering around him like an anxious mother, while Sophia and Philip were arranging Rose’s blankets to protect him from the coolness of oncoming night.

  “I found this trail largely by accident, the first several times,” Nikolai began. “But I met Amalia, I knew it had been worth it. I knew I would be content with no other bride.”

  Rose said nothing as he continued.

  “But she’s a guardian angel, a cherub. In a sense, she’s not even alive as you and I are. We formed a friendship, but she is unable to love me the way I love her.”

  “I imagine that’s hard,” Rose said, trying not to sound too sympathetic.

  “She has told me of God, and his kingdom,” Nikolai continued. “But I can’t believe he is good after finding her. What kind of God gives a man a love for someone he will never marry, or who will never know the fullness of that love?” He shook his head. “Sure, he may exist, as much as it would be better for him not to. But I don’t believe in him. I can’t, while my heart is broken, and still so much in love it is worth coming here time and time and time again, to see her. To be near her, to talk with her. To watch her remain perfect and unchanged, even as I grow older and the world moves on.”

  Rose said nothing. She felt a kinship with Nikolai in his pain, even though she had a feeling he wouldn’t return the gesture.

  But there was something different, Rose mused. After all, she had her friends. She had been able to save Sophia and Ethan from their father. She had made peace between peoples and nations, traveling between the fairy realms and distance lands. And there was Theo, with his patient composure hiding his compassion as well as his passion; Mary, with her bubbly and caring nature, so creative and eager to help; and even Philip now, with his honorable heart and his practiced nobility, which had been bred so deeply inside his bones it came out in his flesh.

  There were others, too; she wasn’t sure how Isra would take the news she had failed to retrieve the dragon’s blood, but Rose knew her younger sister would be appalled at the thought of her earning it at the expense of Theo’s life.

  Despite her curse, Rose thought, she had lived a good life, with good people who loved her.

  Wasn’t that enough? More than enough, in many ways? Maybe it was a question of whether or not it could be, rather than would be, Rose thought bitterly. Redemption was still a far-off reality in many ways.

  “I’m going to see if I can find Ethan,” she told Nikolai. It would put some distance between her and the Serpent’s Garden, and it would give her some peace of mind to tend to her youngest charge.

  “He headed down that way,” Nikolai told her, pointing to a wooded path. “Listen for the harp.”

  “I will. Thank you.” She paused. “And thank you for telling me ... your story. I’m not sure how, but maybe it could all still work out in the end.”

  Nikolai shrugged. Rose doubted her opinion mattered at all to him, but she was grateful for what he’d given her—a better perspective on her own life. Rose knew was not the only one who needed that occasionally; she’d even done that herself, several times, with Ethan and Sophia.

  From the few stories she had been able to piece together from their time with their father, Sophia and Ethan had tried to run away and survive several times. While Sophia made the better hunter, Ethan excelled at the traps and snares. He also had better luck foraging and tracking, while Sophia fine-tuned her haggling skills.

  She wasn’t surprised when it took some time to find him. Rose might have missed him entirely if it hadn’t been for the harp.

  Just as Nikolai predicted, Rose thought with a small grin, as she watched the small figure on a lower branch—he was leaning into the tree, staring off into space while humming along as he played his music.

  Ethan was going to turn into quite the romantic, Rose decided. He was growing up quickly.

  “Hello, Rose,” Ethan said in greeting. “Back already?”

  “Hi, Ethan. Yes, we’re back.” She climbed up beside him, sitting further out along the branch. Her gaze lowered to the ground as she added, “We didn’t get the dragon’s blood.”

  He frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “You can say that again,” Rose murmured. Her failure and her shame paralyzed her as she relived the events.

  “Are you okay?”

  She shook her head, trying to regain focus. “Never mind me. How are you? Do you still miss Penelope?”

  “I do miss her,” Ethan admitted. “I had a lot of fun with her. I felt like a normal person for once.” He glanced over at her quickly, suddenly flustered. “Not to say I don’t like our journeying, Rose, but it gets old sometimes. You know what I mean.”

  “I do. I know m
ore than most people what it is like to long for a normal life. Even if Magdalina’s curse is broken, I won’t have a normal life, exactly.”

  “You’ll have us,” Ethan said. “You’ll have me and Theo and Mary and Sophie and maybe even Philip.”

  “Yes.” Rose nodded. “I was just thinking about that myself.”

  “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

  Time to admit it, Rose thought to herself. “Theo got hurt.”

  She was expecting a harsh rebuke or a plead to tell him everything would be okay. Rose was surprised when he reached out, patted her arm, and said, “He’ll be okay.”

  “I’m not so sure,” Rose admitted before she could stop herself. A renewed sense of sadness washed over her. Even though he was the one who had gotten hurt, Rose couldn’t help but wonder if she would be okay again.

  “You know, Theo’s right. You worry too much.”

  “What?” Rose laughed. “That’s not true.”

  “Yes it is,” Ethan insisted. He sighed a moment later. “He’s right about other things, too.”

  “Like what?”

  “I talked to him before about how I was afraid to fight. He said I should learn, even if I don’t want to.” Ethan lowered his eyes. “If I had, I might have been brave enough to go into the garden with you.”

  “You don’t have to worry about fighting,” Rose scoffed, suddenly angry at Theo for his impertinence and Ethan for his dangerous ideas. “We’re here to protect you, and you don’t need to worry about the garden. We’ll figure something out.”

  “I hate being afraid.”

  “I can understand that,” Rose assured him. “But being able to fight doesn’t mean you’ll stop being afraid.”

  “You know what I think? I know how much my father would be disappointed in me. Part of me likes that I don’t fight like he wanted me to.” He strummed his harp absentmindedly. “I don’t want to be reminded of my pain and suffering.”

  “You’ve found better ways to handle difficulties than fighting,” Rose told him. “Your father might not have seen the need for that, but I rely on it.” She took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

  “Thank you.” Ethan nodded. He looked down at the ground, his fingers dropping from the harp’s strings. “But I still need to be brave.”

  “If that’s what you want,” Rose said, “we’ll help you learn how to fight.”

  “Thanks. I hope I can help you with your fear, too.”

  She jerked away from him. “I’m not afraid to fight.”

  “I mean, you’re afraid to live.”

  Rose blanched. “Excuse me?”

  “Well, aren’t you?” Ethan looked up at her thoughtfully.

  “No, of course not,” Rose snapped. “I just don’t want—” She stopped as the question bore into her. Is it true? Am I afraid to truly live?

  Ethan looked up at her. “You are the one who told me before that there are different ways to be brave. It’s easy for you to fight because you don’t fear death. But I’ve seen you. You seem to be afraid to be happy, to have fun. You’re afraid of things you can’t control. In other words, you’re afraid to live.”

  Rose was silent for a long moment.

  “Amalia and the dragon did say that I was supposed to face my biggest fear if I wanted the dragon’s blood,” Rose said, suddenly more miserable than ever.

  “You only had to face your biggest fear?” Ethan furrowed his brow thoughtfully.

  “I’d hardly say ‘only.’” Rose snorted. “Maybe that was her way of saying I was going to fail.” She didn’t like to play the fool or the loser, but the thought of ending up both seemed too much to contemplate.

  “You’re afraid of more than failure. You’re afraid of hoping for a future that won’t come true,” Ethan told her.

  “You can’t exactly blame me for that,” Rose huffed indignantly.

  “And you can’t blame me from shirking a warrior’s duty, based on my father’s neglect.”

  “I wish I had your fears,” Rose murmured. “Fighting is easy for me. Just like music is for you, apparently.”

  A curious expression flickered onto his face. “Theo told me you won’t sing. Are you afraid to?”

  “No,” Rose snapped.

  He raised his eyebrows at her temper. “Are you sure?”

  Rose relented. “No,” she admitted.

  “Why?”

  “I was only seven,” Rose began, “when I found out I was cursed. Everyone had always seemed to love me. When I realized the truth, that it was pity, part of me died.” She thought about how she’d felt after Theo had inadvertently informed her that she was destined to everlasting sleep on her eighteenth birthday—angry, betrayed, undignified, hopeless, full of despair. Every happiness seemed out of reach, including the joy of being loved. “I stopped singing after that. It was too painful to have hope.”

  “Maybe you should reconsider that.”

  She shrugged noncommittedly. “Maybe.”

  Ethan straightened. “Is there still time for that Dragonkeeper lady to let people back into the garden?”

  “I don’t know if she’ll let me go back.” Rose slumped over, feeling defeated.

  “Let’s go see her. I have an idea. Maybe there’s something else we can try with the dragon.”

  “We?” Rose asked as he hopped down from the tree and started heading back up the hill. “What do you mean, ‘we’? What are you doing?”

  *25*

  ҉

  ETHAN’S QUIET VOICE, usually so youthful and innocent, seemed to change as he spoke with Amalia. And not just because he was getting older, Rose thought with a burst of parental pride.

  She turned her attention to Amalia as Ethan presented his plan. She was certain that Amalia, in seeing Ethan’s age and naivety, would tell him he had a good idea, but it was too dangerous by far. Especially for him, being so young.

  Her thoughts wandered along with her gaze, and she found herself staring at Theo. He was lying chest down on his pallet, with his shirt off, the claw marks on his back red and raw against the hard muscles of his back. While Rose was glad he remained unconscious, she almost wished he would wake up and smile at her.

  Rose felt disgusted with herself again. How could I have ever risked his life?

  “So, Lady Amalia ... what do you think?” She turned back as Ethan finished talking. He was holding up his harp, almost as an offering to the lovely guardian.

  Amalia’s full lips curved into a small, proud smile. She turned to Rose. “Did you agree to your ward’s plan, Princess? For it would only work with your cooperation.”

  Fear in its purest form took Rose by surprise. She didn’t want to endanger Ethan’s life—but she knew she couldn’t ruin his chance to be brave. She nodded.

  “Well then,” Amalia said, “I have a gift for you.”

  She held out her hands, gracefully folding her fingers over her palms. When she opened her hands a moment later, she revealed a bright, gleaming ruby.

  Ethan’s eyes widened.

  “Is that the Rose Ruby?” Rose asked.

  Amalia shook her head. “No, but it is a special jewel. It always amazes me—and amuses Nikolai—how many people want to believe they can slay a dragon and take its blood. The serpent dragon is cursed himself, and much like your own curse, Princess, it protects him from complete destruction.”

  “So you can’t slay a dragon,” Rose realized, “in order to get the blood.”

  Amalia nodded. “Dragon blood is a powerful form of magic. It needs to be contained carefully. Rubies, blood-colored diamonds such as this, are able to hold back the forces of great power.”

  Is that why my grandfather wanted the Rose Ruby? Rose wondered. Because it contained great power inside of it?

  She supposed, after another moment of thought, that her theory made sense; ambition seemed to suffocate the bloodlines of both sides of her heritage.

  Rose reached out and took the ruby, surprised to feel the cool sharpness of it in her palm.


  “When you are close enough, put it up the heart of the dragon,” Amalia instructed. “As you face your biggest fear, it will pull the blood out of its heart and into the ruby’s center.”

  Rose closed her fingers around it tightly. “Thank you,” she said.

  Amalia met her gaze firmly. “You have proven to be a tenacious warrior, Princess of Rhone,” she said. “But strength can fade, desires can change, and inspiration can be dulled. There are few things which can last throughout all the ravages of time. You must make an effort to cling to them once you find them.” Rose watched as her gaze went to Nikolai behind her, and Rose suddenly wondered if Amalia loved Nikolai just as much as he did her.

  “Thanks to your ward’s loyalty, you have been given another chance, though you will have less time. It is almost sundown,” Amalia said, turning her attention to the gate behind her once more. “Go now.”

  Ethan gripped his harp in his arms. Rose touched his shoulder. “I’ll be ready in a moment,” she told him. “I just need to do something.”

  She turned and hurried over to see Theo.

  “Be careful,” Mary spoke up, as she approached. “He’s had some of my concoctions, but don’t let him move just yet.” Her face pinched. “Dragon wounds are harder to heal than most.”

  “I will,” Rose promised. “I just wanted to see how he was doing before Ethan and I head into the garden.”

  “Why are you going back into the Serpent’s Garden?” Mary asked, bewildered.

  “Ethan and I have a plan,” she said. “I know I failed last time. I thought I would just be fighting with the dragon itself; I didn’t realize I would have to fight myself, too.” She glanced down at her hands. “You can’t win against your opponent if he’s not the real enemy.”

  Mary came over to her and sat down on her shoulder. “I’ll watch over Theo for you while you’re gone.”

  Rose smirked. “I hope so; I’d hate to ask Philip to knock him out if he wakes up before I get back and realizes what I’ve done.”

  Mary smiled. “I’ll put an extra spell of relaxation on him,” she told Rose. She laughed lightly a moment later. “Although he’ll probably wake up ready to fight you after he finds out.”