Saving Grace

by Fiona McCallum

  Chapter Sixteen

  Heading towards the landmark proved easier said than done. There was no direct route, and each turn seemed to take them further away.

  After twenty minutes, Emily pulled off the road to let a ute past. It had been tail-gating them for a few kilometres, clearly in a hurry and knowing where it was going.

  Emily hoped the driver would stop to see if they were lost – which they most definitely were. But although country folk were friendly, and would always stop to help when asked, they weren’t ones to interfere without an invitation.

  ‘Do you reckon that’s a driveway – given there’s a cattle grid instead of gates?’ Emily asked, indicating the graded track beyond a concrete and steel apparatus breaking the fence line.

  ‘There’s no mailbox,’ Barbara replied with a shrug.

  ‘Might have a post box in town.’

  ‘I guess it’s worth a shot.’

  Emily drove forward and they shook right to their bones as they crossed the steel cattle grid.

  They made their way slowly along a rutted, corrugated track. Beside them, spindly wild oats waved in the breeze. On their left, a wire fence surrounded a paddock of browned-off pasture, scattered with the short, grey stubble of the previous year’s cereal crop. Off to their right about two hundred metres was a large, elongated cluster of gum trees. They seemed too randomly placed to be hand-planted, and somewhat out of place in a region where the only native vegetation was relatively low-growing mallee scrub and broom bush. She was about to say something when the track took a sudden right-hand turn as the fence joined another. They were now heading towards the trees.

  ‘There must be a soak or spring or something for those trees to be so magnificent,’ Barbara said.

  ‘Or once lovingly planted and then watered.’

  ‘Too many for that, surely?’

  ‘Fingers crossed there is a house just through here,’ Emily said, nodding ahead at a gap in the trees. They were bathed in dappled shade as they passed through the stand of trees, which revealed itself to be a variety of large gums in rows with between-plantings of smaller, bushier natives.

  When they came into a clearing, it took a few moments for their eyes to once again adjust to the bright, clear sunlight.

  ‘My God, it’s gorgeous,’ Barbara said, in practically a whisper.

  Before them was a magnificent, elevated whitewashed stone home with large barley-twist columns holding up an expansive corrugated iron verandah. A set of concrete steps, which began wide and tapered up to the verandah, were framed by stouter, shorter columns, complete with concrete balls on top. Emily and Barbara sat in the stationary car gaping. They could see paint was peeling from the walls and woodwork, and hear the unmistakable squeak and squawk of loose iron moving in the breeze.

  ‘How could someone have abandoned such a lovely place?’ Barbara asked.

  ‘Maybe it just needs some TLC,’ Emily said, getting out of the car. She stood a few metres away from the vehicle, shielding the sun from her eyes while she took in the details.

  ‘No, it’s definitely deserted,’ Barbara said a few moments later from atop the verandah.

  But Emily wasn’t listening. She was too busy imagining the place in its heyday. It was as if she’d been plonked into a film, so clear were the people milling about the verandah in black-tie finery, clinking glasses, sipping champagne and chattering, while musicians played jazz off to the side.

  It would have been so grand, Emily thought wistfully. What a shame. Her heart felt heavy for the tired old house.

  Someone cared enough about it to keep it locked though, and the key hidden, so they couldn’t look inside.

  Instead they spent half an hour wandering around the perimeter, peering through windows thick with dust into large, empty rooms before calling Grace and joining the patient Sasha in the car.

  ‘I’d say we’re officially lost. Looks like we’re going to have to call someone. David’s away – any ideas?’ Barbara said. ‘Pretty patchy signal, too,’ she added, holding her mobile phone high and turning it in various directions.

  ‘Well, I’m certainly not calling John,’ Emily said, folding her arms tightly across her chest.

  ‘I wouldn’t for a second suggest that you do!’

  ‘Dad’s bound know where we are,’ Emily said, extracting her own mobile from her handbag. ‘Fingers crossed Mum’s elsewhere,’ she said as she prodded at the keys and waited for an answer. ‘Oh, hello Mum, it’s Emily. Is Dad there? … No, I haven’t “come to my senses”.’ She looked across at Barbara and arched her eyebrows. ‘Is Dad there or not? I’d really like to talk to him … Oh! Well, I’m sorry he called you … Okay, I’ll call him tonight … No, I am not going back … I have no idea how that will impact on the garden party guest list, and frankly …’

  Emily looked at Barbara, pulled the phone away from her ear and shook her head slowly. Enid’s voice kept coming from the tinny microphone. She tried again.

  ‘Look Mum, I really do have to speak to Dad if he’s around … It’s not something you can help with – more up Dad’s alley … I’m calling on the mobile. I need to be quick, it’ll cost a fortune.’

  Barbara gave her the thumbs-up sign and mouthed, ‘Good girl.’

  ‘No, I don’t need a better plan, I need to make quicker calls … Mum! Is Dad there or not? … Good, thank you!’

  ‘Dad, hi. Sorry, I need to be quick since I’m on the mobile. It’s just that Barbara and I have gotten ourselves a bit lost out north-east-ish of her place. Do you happen to know a big old whitewashed stone house behind a stand of hand-planted trees?’

  ‘Yes, at least a couple of kilometres … It’s a really high house, with barley-twist columns, steps sweeping down.’

  ‘Oh no, you don’t need to do that – just some directions back to a main road would be great.’

  ‘Oh, right, well okay. Thanks Dad, see you soon.’

  She turned the phone off and looked at Barbara. ‘He’s insisting on driving out here – says he knows it well. Apparently there’s something he needs to discuss with me. Wonder what that’s about.’

  ‘Hey, why don’t you ring John while we’re waiting? You can use the mobile as an excuse for keeping it short, and if it all gets too hard you can use the dodgy coverage as an excuse for hanging up. I don’t mean to nag, but I seriously think you’ll feel better when you’ve got it over with.’

  ‘But don’t you think it’s a bit gutless to not be prepared to talk things through?’

  ‘It doesn’t have to be the last conversation you ever have with him. But seriously, Em, it’s best to let him know where he stands. And from the conversation I had with him last night, I don’t think he’s interested in talking anything through.’

  ‘I know,’ Emily said with a sigh. She took a deep breath and dialled. ‘Probably won’t be in this time of day, anyway …’

  A female voice answered.

  ‘Oh! Hello, who’s this?’

  ‘Stacy.’

  ‘Well, Stacy, is John there?’ Emily’s face turned beetroot red.

  ‘Who may I say is calling?’

  ‘You can tell him it’s Emily. His wife.’

  ‘Hang on, I’ll get him.’

  Emily’s heart pounded furiously against her ribs while she waited.

  ‘Ah, good, Emily, thanks for calling back.’

  ‘Jesus, John. It didn’t take you long, did it? Who’s Stacy?’

  ‘Um, nobody.’

  ‘Nobody, huh? I hope Stacy didn’t hear that.’

  ‘So you got my message? We need freezer bags.’

  ‘John, I am not coming home – it’s over.’

  ‘I’m picking up the meat tomorrow morning; it’ll need packing away.’

  ‘You’re not listening to me, John. I’m leaving you. I’m not coming back to pack meat away, or for any other reason.’

  ‘You’re not seriously throwing a hissy fit over the meat, are you? Or is this about the stupid cottage, or the dog?’


  ‘No, this is about me seeing what a bully you are and choosing not to put up with it anymore. You’re a pathetic excuse for a man and you’re a bad husband – something you have just proven by bringing another woman home.’

  ‘Well, if I’m pathetic then so are you. It takes two, you know, Emily.’

  ‘Yes, I know, and I blame myself for making such a huge mistake. But face it, John, it’s not me you want. You want a housekeeper and someone to have sex with on tap.’

  ‘So you’re just going to leave me in the lurch?’

  ‘If that’s what you want to call it.’

  ‘Now come on, Emily, don’t do something you’ll regret. What will people say?’

  ‘I really don’t care what they say, John, because I know the truth. I’m going now. You’ll have to get your own freezer bags and pack the meat away yourself – maybe Stacy will help you.’

  ‘Don’t you dare go spreading rumours about me.’

  ‘Goodbye John.’

  Emily sat staring at the phone now in her lap.

  ‘Well done,’ Barbara said, squeezing her arm. ‘Now, doesn’t that feel better?’

  ‘I just feel numb,’ she said, still staring at the phone.

  ‘All part of the process, I’m sure.’

  ‘I think maybe I was a bit harsh.’

  ‘It obviously needed to be said.’

  ‘Can you believe he’s got someone else already?’

  ‘I don’t think you should go jumping to conclusions. There might be an innocent explanation.’

  ‘What innocent explanation can there be? He’s got another woman in my house, Barbara. And she’s answering the phone like she thinks she belongs there.’

  ‘Hmm. Well I guess it just goes to show you’ve made the right decision.’

  ‘You know, he still thought I’d pick up freezer bags and come home to pack the meat away,’ Emily said, staring at Barbara with disbelief.

  ‘Clearly delusional.’

  ‘Still thinks I’m having a hissy fit over the cottage and Grace and that I’ll come home when I’m over it. Can he actually be that stupid?’

  ‘As I said, delusional.’

  ‘I can’t believe I was stupid enough to marry him!’

  ‘Be angry at him, not yourself.’

  ‘And now Mum’s worried about not getting a fucking invite to the fucking garden party!’

  ‘That I cannot believe.’

  ‘Well, I guess I’ve just kissed any hope of getting anything else from the house goodbye. I can’t go back there now.’

  ‘Maybe when things settle down you …’

  ‘You know what? I don’t care. I’ve got Grace and that’s all that really matters to me right now.’

  ‘That’s the spirit,’ Barbara said, giving her friend’s arm another hearty squeeze.

  ‘I can’t believe he was still going on about packing meat into the freezer. Did I really mean that little to him?’ she said, looking beseechingly at Barbara. Her bottom lip began to quiver and her eyes filled with tears.

  ‘Oh, sweetie,’ Barbara said, drawing her friend towards her. ‘He’s just hurt and lashing out – trying to hurt you in return. It’ll all be okay, you’ll see. You’ve taken the first step in changing your life. You should be proud of yourself for being so brave.’

  ‘But look at me, I’m a mess.’

  ‘You’re grieving.’

  ‘But I ended it. Why am I so upset?’

  ‘Because an important chapter of your life is over. It doesn’t matter how, or why, or how unhappy you were, it’s still an end, and endings need to be grieved for. If you let yourself feel what you feel and not fight it, you’ll be fine.’

  ‘What would I do without you?’ Emily said, returning her friend’s tight hug.

  ‘It doesn’t matter, because you do have me,’ Barbara said, patting her friend firmly on the back.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It seemed only a few minutes later that Emily heard the sound of car tyres on gravel, and her father’s white ute pulled up beside the verandah. Emily leapt up, bounded down the steps and greeted her father with a tight hug.

  ‘Love the new haircut,’ he said when they broke away.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said shyly, feeling self-conscious. ‘Dad, this is Barbara Burton. I don’t know if you’ve met before.’

  ‘Thanks so much for rescuing us.’

  Des and Barbara shook hands. ‘Hi Barbara. No worries – I wanted to see the old place, anyway. You girls would have found your way eventually,’ he said absently while staring past them towards the house. ‘Shame it’s been let go.’

  ‘So how do you know it?’

  ‘Actually, my very first girlfriend lived here – a long time ago now.’

  Oh, Emily thought, but before she had the opportunity to probe further, her father was up the verandah steps and making his way around the house, peering into each of the windows as she and Barbara had done earlier. The two friends looked at each other and shrugged.

  Soon, Des Oliphant returned and stood leaning against the tray of his ute, staring back at the house. Emily joined him. Barbara, clearly sensing they needed time alone, got back into Emily’s car.

  ‘It’s a pity we can’t have a look inside,’ Emily said.

  ‘Last I heard, it was being leased by a workman, but he was put off about ten years ago,’ said Des.

  ‘What about the people who owned it – the ones you knew?’

  ‘The parents left the district years ago. The two sons still farm the land, but they’ve got another property where they live. This was the original home – quite stunning in its day. The place probably held too many sad memories for them,’ he added wistfully.

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘A fall from a horse. A tragic accident. It was a very long time ago.’

  Emily waited for him to continue, but instead he picked at one of the tall strands of wild oats sticking up from the verandah concrete in front of him. It was clearly the end of the subject.

  ‘Your mother spoke with John yesterday …’ he finally said after a few moments of silence had passed.

  Emily stiffened.

  ‘He seems to think you’ve left him because he demolished the old cottage across the road. Did you?’ He looked up at Emily.

  ‘Not really,’ Emily said. ‘That was just the last straw. I knew a long time ago that I’d made a mistake marrying him. I’m just tired of being the only one making all the effort.’ She wasn’t sure why she didn’t mention John shooting at Grace.

  ‘Why didn’t you say something before now?’

  Emily swallowed. Here, now, with her father being so supportive, she found herself wondering the same thing.

  From an early age she’d turned to her grandmother for advice. It hadn’t been a conscious decision, but she now saw that it was because of how negative and judgmental her mother could be. It had meant she hadn’t turned to her father either.

  But of course, she’d never seen this side of him – had never been allowed to see it. Her mother, his shadow, was always around, and was always the dominant force. Guilt bit at her and she pushed it back. It wasn’t too late. Gran had gone, taking her wisdom with her, but maybe Des could step into the breach – if she let him. If he wanted to.

  She shrugged and said quietly, ‘I guess I just got used to sharing most things with Gran.’ Except this.

  Emily saw the cloud of disappointment cross her father’s face before being quickly replaced by a broad smile.

  ‘She was a wise woman; I’m glad you could talk to her.’

  Unspoken words hung thick in the air between them.

  ‘So, tell me about the cottage. I had no idea it meant anything much to you.’

  ‘Oh, it was just a silly pipe dream, really.’

  ‘Now Emily, I don’t want to hear you say things like that – that’s something your mother would say. As much as I love Enid, she does tend to be a bit “glass-half-empty”.’

  Isn’t that the understatemen
t of the century, Emily thought.

  ‘So, what about this cottage?’

  ‘Well, I wanted to do it up, turn it into a B&B or something and earn a bit extra for us. It could have worked, especially now the new ferry is up and running. I did some research.’

  ‘But John didn’t agree?’

  ‘He said it was a waste of money and that people wouldn’t want to stay so far off the main road.’

  ‘So he tore the building down instead?’

  ‘Yes. To spite me.’

  ‘Surely not.’

  ‘He admitted it.’ She paused. ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s gone now. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.’

  ‘Maybe just not there.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘There’s nothing to say it’s not a good idea and that it wouldn’t work, it just wasn’t meant to be there, in that cottage, and while you were married to John. If it’s something you really want, and believe in, it’ll happen – you’ll make it happen.’

  ‘Dad, that’s really sweet, but I have no husband, no money to speak of, nowhere to live, and no job.’

  Des Oliphant put his arm around his daughter. ‘Ah, despite what some people think, you don’t actually need a husband – or a man, for that matter – in order to succeed. Anyway, you have me.’ He gave her shoulder a squeeze. ‘And something will turn up on the job and accommodation fronts. You’ll see.’

  Emily looked at him through tear-soaked lashes. Who was this man beside her?

  ‘Thanks Dad,’ she said, smiling weakly.

  ‘I’m serious. If you’re really passionate about setting up a B&B, or any other business, for that matter, I’ll do all I can to help. Oh, look at the time,’ Des said suddenly, ‘I’d better get back. And your mother asked if you could come to dinner tomorrow night.’

  ‘Oh. Well, Dad, urn …’

  ‘She really does feel bad about what happened.’

  Feels bad because she’s been told to feel bad, more likely.

  ‘Please, Em. Bring Barbara with you, if you like. At least think about it.’

  ‘All right, I’ll think about it.’

  ‘I’d better get going,’ he said, going to the driver’s door and getting in.