Only Keep You (Only Colorado Book 4)

by JD Chambers

  I want to ask if he’s certain, but I don’t want to make him think I doubt his choices or his readiness. He’s placing his trust in me, which means that I need to do the same.

  “Go to the couch and lay your chest on the cushion, knees on the ground, ass out.”

  The second I issue the command, his whole body relaxes with a whimper.

  I grab the lube, his hood, and some of the toys from our toy box and set them on the coffee table, along with a damp towel.

  “Are you ready, Blue?”

  He gives me a soft bark, and I gently stroke his back, letting him get used to me behind him. My hand drifts a little lower with each pass across his body, until each stroke rubs down to the soft cotton covering his cheeks, then back up to the smooth, flexing skin of his back. I take two fingers under the elastic and pull them down to his knees.

  His beautiful bare ass greets me, and I continue petting him, getting closer and closer to my target with each pass. I don’t think he even hears the click of the lube cap, and I try to warm it up between my fingers before touching his skin, but he still startles.

  “Shh, it’s okay. You’re being so good, Blue. And you’re going to look so good with your new tail. Are you ready?”

  Blue’s yip wobbles slightly, but his hard cock tells me that it’s excitement, and not nerves, getting to him.

  I slick up the tail as well, but first use my fingers to prepare him. The way his hole takes my fingers, like he needs them inside, is a beautiful sight. I stroke and wiggle and scissor until I think he can handle the tail, and then I remove my fingers. The tail enters as smoothly as my fingers did and fits perfectly into place.

  I wipe my hand on the towel and toss it aside, then reach for the hood.

  “Turn, Blue.” His face is flushed and his pupils dilated, but he rests on his knees, waiting like a good boy.

  “Do you want the hood?” I’m nervous that the dark will upset him, making him less likely to know what’s coming and easier to startle. But Blue crawls to the table and takes the hood in his mouth then returns and drops it at my feet.

  “Woof.”

  “Remember your safewords.”

  “Woof.” His bark almost sounds annoyed this time, and he nudges the hood closer to me with his nose. It makes his bare ass and tail stick straight into the air, and I press my fist against my crotch to try to relieve some of the pressure.

  I kneel until I’m face to face with Blue, and carefully pull the hood over his head. The change in his body is almost instantaneous, as muscles I’m sure he didn’t even realize were tense let go.

  “Good boy,” I tell him, scratching behind an ear. “How does that feel?”

  This time his bark is almost drunk sounding, he’s already so into puppy headspace. I pick up the leather bone and hold it out for him. He takes one end in his mouth and tugs.

  “Hey, I was going to throw that.”

  I reach for it, forgetting about sudden movements, and I panic for a moment, thinking that I’m going to make Blue cower. Instead he shakes the bone and takes it over to the couch, putting it down on a cushion and then climbing on top of it.

  “Okay, so you don’t want to play fetch.”

  Blue barks a short woof that is certainly a “no,” then rolls onto his side, exposing his stomach, just like he used to when he wanted belly rubs.

  “Would my boy like belly rubs?”

  Blue pants and nods.

  I sit on the floor, next to where he’s stretched out on the couch, and gently rub circles on his belly. I pet a little softer than I used to, but still firmly, and still praising him with every stroke. I try my best to keep confident on the outside, when on the inside I’m terrified of fucking up. He seems to have forgotten or at least relaxed enough to not think of his scars that he’s exposing right now, and I don’t want to do anything to draw his mind back to them.

  I tickle around his pecs, letting him huff out laughs and wriggle under my fingers, then soothe him again with more circular rubs. His cock bounces against his belly with each movement, hard and proud, and I’m so relieved that I can give him this.

  When I finally have him shifted enough to grab the leather bone out from underneath him, I hold it out again and tease him with it. Blue rests his head on his front paws and puffs out a frustrated breath.

  “Come on, Blue. Just one fetch?”

  He snaps at it and catches it between his teeth, giving it a little tug. I tug back, and a flash of mischief lights up his eyes. Something I haven’t seen there in so long.

  I tug and he tugs back, giving me a playful warning growl.

  “Drop it,” I tell him.

  “Rrr.”

  “Don’t you want a treat?”

  Blue doesn’t move, but eyes me like he wants a treat, but he doesn’t want to behave.

  “If you play one round of fetch for me, I’ll show you the treat that I bought for you.”

  Blue drops the bone, but whimpers, like he doesn’t believe I actually bought him treats. Or maybe it’s that he doesn’t believe there’s more. If I could, I would do nothing but buy my boy treats. He deserves the fucking world.

  I throw the bone, and Blue looks from it to me, like he is debating whether or not it will be worth the effort.

  I head into the kitchen, walking slowly because I could hear him crawl off the couch to follow me. When I get to the fridge, I remove a lime popsicle, his favorite flavor as I learned this summer.

  “Woof!”

  “That’s right, if you want a treat, you have to be a good boy.”

  Blue turns around, crawling and twisting his butt where I know the tail feels funny, but he follows through. A minute later, he returns to the kitchen with the leather bone hanging from his mouth.

  “Good boy,” I say, and kneel down to give him scratches and take the bone back. I’m trying to keep myself on his level and not tower over him, but I think he’s in his puppy headspace enough that it doesn’t seem to bother him. “One more fetch.”

  I grab a popsicle and put the box back into the freezer, then take it and the bone back to the couch.

  I throw the bone one more time, but Blue stays at my feet, panting at the popsicle.

  “Bring back the bone, Blue, and you can have your treat.”

  Blue growls again, but retrieves the bone, dropping it at my feet and eyeing the popsicle. I remove the wrapper and hold it out, allowing Blue to lick at it. I scoot closer to the edge of the couch, holding it at lap level, mentally forcing myself not to squirm not matter how hot he looks, wrapping his lips around the popsicle.

  “Thank you for playing with me, Puppy. Do you like your treat?”

  Blue pulls back to give a loud yip, then returns his attention to the popsicle. His eyes find mine, and as he twirls his tongue around the popsicle, and opening wide to give tiny licks to the tip before taking it in deep, he knows what he’s doing to me.

  “Are you teasing me, Blue?”

  Another yip.

  I can’t tell if he deserves a reward or a punishment for that, so I decide I’ll give him something that’s a little bit of both. I pull the popsicle away, only to receive a whimper.

  I grab the towel from earlier, the one I had brought to clean the lube from my hands, and spread it out on the ground.

  “All fours, Blue. Good pup.”

  Blue immediately complies, and I pet his back with one hand while I position myself behind him. I set the popsicle down on top of the wrapper briefly so I can remove the tail from the sheath which stays in his ass, holding it open for me. I stick the popsicle in front of Blue’s face for one final lick. His whimper at losing it turns to a yelp when the cold treat enters his hole. Because he’s already sucked on it some, it’s slightly smaller than his opening, but I’m sure that even through the silicone, he can feel the cold. He shudders and moans, but simultaneously pushes back to take more of the popsicle in.

  It doesn’t reach much of his actual skin because of the ring holding him open, but I swirl it around so that
he can feel the sensations. He yelps and barks and groans, until the popsicle is melted. I set aside the stick and lean forward, licking the outside edge of the ring clean of melted lime.

  I cover and lube up my cock while my tongue finishes cleaning the residual popsicle from his ass.

  “Roll over, Blue. I need to see your eyes.”

  I help him roll over, a feat since my ministrations have left him wobbly and lust-dazed. I set my cock at his entrance, and lock eyes as I push inside. The sheath makes it easy to enter him, but it doesn’t feel like there’s a barrier between us. Maybe it’s the depth of emotion I see in his eyes, but I feel closer to him than I ever have.

  Dave reaches up and pulls off his hood, then yanks on my neck until our mouths meet in a harsh and sloppy kiss.

  “Yes,” he whimpers into my mouth. The words giving me life, pushing me forward. “I need you. I needed this. So much.”

  “I love you, Dave,” I say, and even though I’ve said the words before, they still feel like a revelation. “Forever.”

  At the word “forever,” Dave releases and coats us both with his seed. And after he tenses and shoots his final strand onto his chest, he melts down onto the ground with a look of sated bliss and peace that I haven’t seen on him in months, if ever.

  “I love you too,” he says with a silly grin, laughing with the aftershocks. And it’s that look of contentment that pushes me over the edge with him, releasing my load deep inside of him. Mixing with the final dribbles of lime popsicle that I haven’t managed to fuck out of him. The thought spurs me into laughter too, and we cling to each other, laughing and sated and happy.

  26

  Dave

  I wake up the next morning with Arthur wrapped around me in bed for the first time in four months. There’s no rising panic, or even a flicker of distress. His warm body and hard cock poking at my ass feels like home. I know I’m not cured, that there will always be a chance that something can set me off. But when I was at my worst, I feared I’d never be able to be intimate with Arthur again. I feared I’d never be able to be Blue again. And the fact that neither one of those is true, that being Blue actually helped me recover and learn to trust again, means that I’m on top of the world this morning.

  But where I’d rather be is on top of Arthur.

  I roll over and stretch a leg and an arm across his body until I’m practically covering him. I can feel his breathing shift and I know when I’ve woken him. It’s about the same time that the heavy prick against my thigh starts to become a more insistent poke.

  “Why Mr. Yuen,” I say, snuggling my nose against his side, a little into his armpit which smells like fresh morning skin and nothing too sweaty or musky. Arthur insisted on a shower last night after our fun, mostly because we were both sticky in very wrong places after his popsicle explorations. I can’t say that I’ve ever done that before. “Someone might think you were up to something.”

  “Oh, I’m up to something alright.”

  I can’t stop the snort that I suck in through my nose at his horrible joke.

  “Really, you need to stop.”

  “Never,” Arthur says, reaching down and lifting my chain with one finger. He put the everyday chain on me and locked it tight with the engraved lock after our shower last night. He has the key on a thinner chain around his neck. Knowing that I’m his, that after everything he still wants me, almost brings me to tears each time I think of it. But I know that would freak him out if I started crying every five minutes, so I try to think of other things. Like the bruise developing on my thigh from all his prodding.

  “We are meeting the other guys in less than an hour,” I say with a sad face.

  “We can shower together. Save time. And water.”

  I roll my eyes but drag him with me into his shower. One soapy frot session later, we’re in his car headed to Ted’s house. Two trucks wait outside, along with two people I don’t recognize. As we approach, the one with long dark hair pulled up into a high ponytail points at Arthur and purses his lips.

  “I know you. You’re my flirty bank teller.”

  My feet stop of their own accord and I look at Arthur with my eyebrows reaching for my hairline. “Flirty bank teller? Really?”

  “Well, I mean, used to be flirty bank teller. He hasn’t been flirty in months. Years, really. Help me out,” he whispers from the side of his mouth to the guy next to him.

  “Don’t listen to them,” the other guy with a backwards baseball cap says, holding out a hand for me to shake. His approach causes maybe one twinge in my belly, but a single glance at Arthur and his horrified expression eases all my concerns. And makes me laugh. “They think everyone flirts with them. Hi, I’m Parker.”

  “Everyone usually does.”

  “Not helping.”

  “Sorry,” he, no they, I self-correct after hearing Parker, say, “I’m Mal. I have a truck, therefore I’m at your service to help you move.”

  “Dave. I take it you get roped into this a lot?”

  “Ropes,” they say, turning to Parker. “Now there’s an idea.”

  Parker shakes his head.

  “I know a guy, if you’re interested,” Arthur helpfully adds.

  “And that’s not supposed to be flirting?” Mal says, shaking their head and lifting their shoulders in bewilderment.

  “No, we really do know a guy who’s teaching us ropes,” I say with a laugh.

  Parker’s arm slips around Mal’s waist. “See? Remember what we talked about last time? Good things happen when we help others.”

  Mal’s pouty expression disappears beneath Parker’s attempt to smother it with his face, and the part of me that would have started to feel uncomfortable or jealous at this point remembers I have an Arthur next to me, so I wrap myself around him and try a little smothering of my own.

  The slam of a car door breaks us apart, and Craig and Zach join us on the front lawn. I’m surprised to find that Arthur knows Craig as well as he does and that he knows Zach at all, but they explain that they got to know each other during the hours that they waited at the hospital. It’s like Arthur knows the reminder makes me queasy and he puts a calming hand on my chest.

  “Can you smell my shampoo?” he asks, leaning his head down until it’s close to mine. “It’s supposed to be lemon, but I think it smells weird for lemon.” I know he’s trying the technique the therapist taught us to help stave off a panic attack, and I love him for it.

  “That’s because it’s lemongrass, not lemon. And thank you.” I pull far enough back to kiss his cheek. “I’m good.”

  Arthur smiles and kisses my cheek in return.

  Ted and his boyfriend Kieran come out of Ted’s house, and we’re all ready to go.

  “Don’t you need to empty your truck first?” I ask Ted, pointing to the futon he has in the back of his truck.

  “That’s for you,” Kieran says. “Ted said you didn’t have a bed, and I don’t need it anymore, so it’s yours if you want it.”

  I try to say thank you, but the words catch in my throat.

  “And we’re off,” Arthur says, taking control like I needed him to. I’m pretty sure he has a sixth sense now of when I’m about to start crying. “It’s the storage place on East Mulberry.”

  With eight pairs of hands, we get the dresser, sofa, and various boxes loaded up in no time flat. I turn around in the empty eight by eight space.

  “Shit.”

  “What is it?” Ted says, returning to the unit with the final box still in his hands.

  “She took my TV too. I didn’t notice before, but I should have realized. She called video games teenager crack.”

  Ted’s laugh echoes down the cement corridor and against the metal doors.

  “It’s too bad you don’t work for a place that has monitors and consoles out the ass. Whatever will you do?”

  “Thanks Ted. You really are the best.”

  Arthur, who had been approaching to see what the holdup was, hears my words and gasps, covers h
is mouth.

  “I see how it is,” he says with a warbling voice.

  “Best boss,” I correct.

  He pauses his dramatics, looks to the ceiling, shakes his head with a “Nope” and starts all over again.

  I grab at his shoulder and stretch to give the side of his cheek a long swipe with my tongue.

  “Blue! Yuck. Bad dog,” he says, but I’ve gotten him laughing, even if the others are now watching us like we’re crazy.

  We get everything loaded up into my new tiny efficiency which looks exactly like my old tiny efficiency, and then I order pizza for the group, making sure to get a vegan one for Ted. I’ve been to enough of his Game Over gaming parties to know the drill.

  It’s a strange group of new friends and old, but I’m comfortable. That, and they are all conscientious enough to stay in my line of sight and not make any sudden movements near me. It means that what could have been a disaster is a nice evening in my new home. That might not be a triumph for anyone else, but for me, it’s a win. I lean into Arthur’s side and he hand-feeds me small bites of cheesy bread. Not the best idea for my stomach, but better than the greasy pepperoni and sausage pizza everyone but Ted is eating. I’ll ask Arthur to take me grocery shopping in the morning.

  When I cover a yawn by ducking my face into his armpit, Arthur takes it as his cue to kick the group out under the guise of my needing rest. I give everyone hugs, which is normal. But what’s new, a real sign of progress, is when Craig approaches me instead of the other way around. And although I wobble, I don’t fall. I breathe through the hug and study Craig, my brain reminding my body that Craig won’t hurt me. I’ve had falls along my way, but each day I’m more confident and better able to cope than the last. And with friends like these, I know I’ll be okay.

  When the apartment is empty, I lose Arthur for a second before I hear water running in the bathroom. He left the door wide open, so I peek inside to find him leaning over and filling the tub with bubble bath. I whistle and he says, “Puppy,” in a warning voice.