Modern Mistress

by Hannah Jay

  A door – Undressing behind a door is not as private or as titillating as undressing behind a back lighted screen but it will preserve the mystery. In a hotel room the bathroom door will do the job; in an apartment the bedroom door will let you change in private.

  Bed Curtains - If you don’t have a screen and have a studio apartment, an alternative is a ceiling hung, translucent curtain dividing your bed from the rest of the room. Amusingly, it does not have to go to the floor. Mid thigh can be very enticing. Install the curtain right, use real curtain tracks and have it a couple of feet away from your bed. It should be in two halves which can be drawn together or flung apart. Pick an attractive color white, very light pink, cream or light grey will work with most decors.

  Light

  Now you have your privacy, time to think about light. Lighting sets the mood. It also displays your body and your lingerie to best advantage. What you are looking for is soft, indirect light. Avoid ceiling lights at all costs.

  Attractive table lights and bedside lamps work well. Girls look best with a little pink on their skin. So, step one, low wattage incandescent bulbs. Step two, pretty shades white or light pink. Pinker and dimmer near your bed. If you can’t find a pink shade drape a pink scarf over a white one.

  Candles are always lovely. Lots of candles. And make a ritual out of lighting them when your patron arrives. This will give him a little while to settle in and relax.

  Clothes

  A bit of planning can make sure that when it comes time to undress you can make every item count. In a sense think the opposite of practical. You may spend your days in a sports bra and leggings with a t-shirt tossed on top but that is not what your patron wants to see.

  Work from the outside in. What you wear will, of course, depend on the nature of the date. If you are going to meet your date for drinks or coffee or dinner you’ll want a pretty, appropriate, outfit.

  A couple of basics: a below the knee pencil skirt in black or grey with a buttoned slit is brilliant. Do up all but one of the buttons and you can go to Church, unbutton a bit and you are perfect for a cocktail lounge or a dinner engagement. Over the course of the early evening another button or two may come undone. Stocking tops or a lacy slip may be peeked at.

  Second piece – a simple, well tailored white shirt. Again, the buttons are your friends. Two undone and you are a pretty young college girl of slightly conservative deportment, three and you’re in the naughty zone. One more after that or even a good lean forward and your pretty bra or cami or slip will fill his vision.

  These same pieces can be worn if you are visiting his hotel – a tailored jacket will add a business lady look. And they can work well in your apartment. (For what I hope are obvious reasons, a lady is never dishabille (clever French word for nearly undressed) when she greets her patron in her apartment.)

  Shoes present that dilemma between wearable and wonderful. While a nice kitten heel is walkable, the fact is gentlemen love the look of high heels. However, the higher the heel the more you are going to have to pay for a pair of shoes you can walk in. 5” and above are really “once around the bed” shoes. If a gentleman would like you to fulfill his happy heel fetish let him invest. But make it very plain that clear plastic platforms belong on the Gentleman’s Club stage.

  Depending on your height, a three and one half inch heel can do wonders for your legs and look elegant for cocktails or dinner. Done well they are walkable but not for more than a couple of blocks.

  The danger zone is four to five inches. They look fantastic but they are killers to walk in. And, unfortunately, unless you buy expensive brands like Jimmy Choo or Louboutin, they can look tarty. But teamed with a pair of sheer stockings you really can’t go wrong.

  Now for lingerie: for the modern mistress the range and availability of beautiful, sexy, wispy pieces of lingerie is extraordinary. But, remember, you are undressing the mystery so layers and lace are your friends.

  Long out of fashion, the full slip, ideally lace trimmed, is a mistress’s best friend. Ideally a slip will fall about three inches above the hem of your dress or skirt. It will have ribbon shoulder straps and should be well fitted to your torso and breasts. Shop vintage for slips – look for real silk or real satin. A nylon slip (which cost about $5.00 at thrift stores) will do in a pinch, but you’ll feel sexier and look much better in a little satin creation from the ‘40s or ‘50s. It is certainly worthwhile, if you are even a bit handy, to put a little tuck in the seam just below your bustline. The classic color is black but white or ivory or cream can be gorgeous.

  The great advantage of a slip is it is a halfway point between being fully dressed and completely undressed. Taking off your skirt and blouse only to reveal a sexy full slip is a terrific tease and will be a surprise to most men under sixty.

  Under your slip are the essentials – bra, panties, garter belt and stockings. Yes, yes, I know…many young girls have never worn pantyhose, much less stockings, in their lives. Remember what I mentioned about the difference between a professional and an amateur; well, a professional is in the business of surprising and delighting her patrons. If you take a look at anything from porn sites to old men’s magazines there is one constant…stockings. (Pantyhose, dreadful things that they are, are rarely in evidence.)

  A good pair of stockings – black or nude or grey are the best colors – will be sheer and very thin. Yes, they will run but if you buy three or four pairs of the same sort and color you’ll be able to swap the runned ones out. (Keep the runned ones beside your bed for a little fabric bondage. They are surprisingly strong.)

  The fun thing about stockings and a garter belt is that, worn with the garter straps under your panties, they can stay on throughout the date. Whatever you do, buy a good garter belt. Look for metal tabs and a fitted, three hook, belt. It should be at least three inches wide and ride above your hips. The frilly elastic garter belts are, at best, stunt lingerie and will slide down at awkward moments.

  Bra and panties come in sets. Mismatched lingerie looks silly. Buying – or better still, having bought for you – a good, lace bra in a shelf or demi-cup style is a treat every girl owes herself. (And you would be surprised how many men would be just delighted to take you lingerie shopping.) For perfect undressing there is a lot to be said for front closure. It avoids awkward fumbling. Look for real cups and light padding if required. At all costs avoid the horrors of made in China molded cups which fit no known woman.

  Panties should match the bra. If that isn’t possible, look for the same color. While thongs will avoid VPL, the reality is that the additional coverage of a boy short or brief works to your advantage undressing.

  Finally, pick colors which flatter your skin. Pale pinks, grays, black for drama, white for a girl next door. Patterns are fine but avoid anything jarring. And do we really need to discuss why fluorescent orange or day-glo green are bad choices….of course not.

  The Reveal

  Undressing begins long before you start taking your clothes off.

  If you meet your date for drinks or coffee, beginning with almost all your buttons done up gives you plenty of room to maneuver in public. Undoing a button or two on your skirt will reveal, at minimum, the lacy hem of your slip. And if your slip has a slit, there is the very real possibility of a glimpse of stocking top. Going from two buttons undone on your shirt to three and an artful lean in or two, will reveal the lacy bodice of your slip and, quite possibly, your bra. He’ll catch the signal and the invitation instantly.

  If you are going back to or meeting him on your own ground or his hotel, the same techniques apply. But now you can unbutton your shirt to your waist and let your skirt ride up to reveal your stockings. If you have a screen, a curtain or a door, you can excuse yourself to make yourself more comfortable and take the skirt and shirt off all together.

  And here is where the beauty of the slip is evident. When you return you are not “undressed”, rather you are undressing. Now might be the moment to begin to undress him. And,
indeed, a girl in a slips’ oral attentions are a wonderful promise of what is about to happen. Once you have him as undressed as you want him, you can retreat behind your screen or curtain and slip off your bra and panties. Hanging them on the side of the screen or the door knob will keep his attention. Slip, garter belt, stockings and shoes usually stay on.

  Now you lead him to bed, remove the last of his clothing, and slip out of your shoes. From here it is up to you. However, removing a lovely vintage silk slip before the possibility of staining it only makes sense.

  Make sure you have a pretty robe handy for the end of the encounter. While he will certainly see you nearly naked, you want to keep the mystery alive. Naked is not mysterious. And, for extra fun, have a pretty pair of frou-frou bedroom mules strategically located on your side of the bed. Your robe should be figure hugging but not sheer. You want his imagination working overtime as he lies in post coital bliss.

  Chapter 8 | A Mistress’s Apartment

  For a mistress, her home is not only her castle, it is also part of her magic. By paying attention to the look and feel of her surroundings, she can reap big rewards both personally and professionally.

  The modern mistress’s apartment is like a stage set. At a glance, it says something about the woman who lives there. You always want to make a positive impression, so take this presentation seriously. Your space is part of your image. And like your appearance, one to be carefully considered. It is impossible to change your height, but you can change your décor. And if you can change it, the modern mistress can masterfully plan it, control it, and ta da---work it to her advantage.

  Business acumen and personal comfort aside, a well-appointed home also sends a signal to a mistress’s patron that she has taken him into consideration when arranging her space. If he encounters a pleasing environment, she is already some distance towards a successful, rewarding experience for them both. A stylish décor catches the eye, but a space filled with serenity, comfort, and calm captures the spirit. It stays in the mind.

  So whether you are perched in view penthouse, or reside in a character three-story walk up nowhere near the ocean (le sigh), the principles are the same. So let’s begin with the basics.

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  Clean

  No one wants to see dirt or grime or cobwebs. An mistress’s space speaks volumes about her, and the first thing it needs to make sure it is clean. If you can, have a professional cleaner spend a couple of hours every week on your apartment. If you can’t afford this, you are just going to have to suit up and do it yourself; so grab your rubber gloves, the spray and shine, and get to work. Crank up the stereo and time will fly by. Get into corners and crevices. Pay particular attention to the bathroom and the kitchen. Nothing says clean like gleaming chrome taps and a sparkling tub.

  These thorough once a week cleans are vital, but so are quick spot cleans before your patron arrives: a quick wipe down of the coffee table, the sink, and a run around with the vacuum. If you offer refreshments, make sure the glasses and cutlery sparkle.

  Tidy

  Try to have tidy as the natural order of things so cleaning is not such a daunting task. You don’t have to be obsessive about it, but just don’t let things pile up. The magazines you were reading over your morning cappuccino, the scraps of paper with notes and numbers, stray lingerie draped over chairs, used glasses and plates---they all need to be straightened, put away, put in the dishwasher, put in the laundry.

  Organized

  Having a designated area for your papers, receipts, and such like keeps your business and personal life well-organized. When you are entertaining, there should be nothing on your desk except your computer – with a locked screensaver. All personal matter should be in drawers or a filing cabinet in the closet.

  In the bedroom, have a discreet container for things such as lube and toys. A vintage hat box will do splendidly. Baskets work well for items like bondage gear. An umbrella stand can organize canes and crops. Tissues and wet wipes should be near at hand as, of course, should a selection of condoms. Not necessary to be on display, however. Slipping them inside an old, decorative cigar box or a jeweled Art Deco case is a stylish and tasteful solution.

  Editing

  Simply adding things to your environment is not decorating. Eye-catching home design is more often about subtraction rather than addition. Less really is more, especially in smaller spaces.

  Clutter is never a good look. So take a good look around with a critical eye. Anything which has no immediate use or aesthetic value should go. Items you can’t bear to part with should be put in a box and stashed in the hall cupboard or in your unit’s storage. The rest should be sorted: tossed if broken, chipped, or worn; donated to a thrift shop if still usable; consigned if in like-new condition with a re-sale value.

  Once you have the basics taken care of, you can set about creating a delightful space that suits you and is also suitable for your clients. This does not have to be done in a day. The fact is that finding nice things is notoriously time-consuming and expensive. It doesn’t have to be if you are resourceful and clever. And you are.

  The first step is the predictably the same as it is for most other endeavors:

  Step 1: MAKE A PLAN

  Think about what you wish to achieve. What looks do you love? Modern? Bohemian? Or sea-side casual? Flip through magazines to get ideas and get inspired. Even small changes can make a big impact. Your home should make a statement about you, but since it is also where you entertain, these personal touches should be subtle rather than overt; noticed by none but the most keenly observant guest.

  There is plenty of room to debate whether a feminine or masculine look is to be preferred in an mistress’s home. I tend toward the strong, clean lines of a more masculine look. The problem with a feminine décor is that men tend to find patterns and frills off-putting. This is very much your choice of course, however there is another, more compelling argument for sleek, modern lines: by way of contrast, it sets you off as the most feminine thing in the room.

  Style extends to art and while there is no accounting for taste, it is wise to avoid explicitly erotic pieces. Here again, a mistress should be the erotic focal point of her space. Choose actual ART, please. An original watercolour, or even a pencil sketch by an art-school student is much more interesting than a print of some famous work, the original of which everyone knows, is hanging in the Louvre. Did you know that some city art galleries have art rental programs? Check out your local one.

  Step 2: RE-ARRANGE

  If your furniture hasn’t moved since the day you moved in, it’s time to shake things up a bit. Think of your house like an architect does. Sketch the basic blueprint on paper. Furniture placement should enhance flow and reflect how you use each room. Where will your client sit when he first arrives? Is there a nearby table where can he put his glass? You don’t actually need much: a chair, a sofa, a side and/or coffee table. Go for quality, not quantity: real wood, not particle board; natural rather than synthetic fibres; glass instead of plastic. Your home should be not only functional, but beautiful as well. And it doesn’t have to be totally on display. Practically, your patron will see your hall, your bathroom, your living area, and your bedroom. The deployment of one or two screens can keep the rest of the space private.

  Step 3: COLOUR

  Unless you own your place, you likely did not choose the paint colours. But even if you do rent, you might not be stuck with them if you have a landlord amenable to your ideas. Talk it over and get approval before you do anything. If at all possible, hire pros to paint. They get their paint at a discount and a couple of rooms can cost as little as $150. And they clean up so you don’t have to.

  Remember that you are likely not going to live there forever, so a nice neutral that the next tenant would like too is a big consideration. There are many, many shades of white, cream, and grey that all look fresh and contemporary. Get swatch cards and paste them up to your walls before you commit to any shade. Also, some comp
anies sell little sample cans so you can actually paint a small area to really get a sense of what it will look like. What does it look like in the day, at night, in direct sunlight, and does it coordinate with your furniture, art, and rugs? The lighter the hue, the larger your space will seem. It’s a big decision, so you may want to get a friend to give you a second opinion, and don’t be afraid to chat to the clerks in home stores for advice. But in the end, you have to live with it, so you have to love it.

  Step 4: LIGHTING

  Easily one of the most important---and yet frequently overlooked---elements of a mistress’s space is the light. The difference between a warm glow and an unappealing glare is often as simple as the difference between a 40 watt bulb and a 100 watt one. Dimmer switches are your secret tactic for instant changes in mood. Keep bedroom lighting soft and low. Thrift stores and rummage sales are a fabulous source for really unique floor, table, and ceiling lights. Again, the style and colour should be in keeping with the rest of your space.

  Enhance any natural light there is. Are there lots of windows or few? Which direction does the space face? Sunlight is splendid for your plants, but blinds or semi-sheer curtains preserve your privacy as they diffuse outside light. Silk scarves and saris make excellent impromptu curtains and add a certain exotic softness to a room. Since you will have engagements both day and night, you must factor both into your lighting choices. As a mistress, you are the star of your own show so choose lighting that is the most flattering.